My masculinity isn't that fragile, thankfully.
"You just want everyone to be married like you are," Knox replied, signaling the waitress for a refill. He'd already had one beer and that was his limit tonight. He was drinking soda as of about ten o'clock. "It's like a cult. First marriage, then a baby, and then a minivan. I'm not driving a damn minivan so you can just forget it."
"They're very practical," Chris laughed. "Lots of space."
"It's not for me. You and Ryan can compare models to your heart's content though."
Ryan's fiancée Mariah was currently six months pregnant and they were deep into decorating the nursery and buying car seats. Knox was pretty sure he'd heard his friend talk about buying Mariah a minivan. Did Mariah even want one?
"Seriously," Chris said. "Jenna's fantastic. Smart, funny, beautiful. She's the whole package. And you've got a great meet-cute story for the grandkids."
They did have a great story. Knox had been hanging out at a local sports bar watching a game and he'd headed to the men’s' room during halftime. On the way back, they'd literally bumped into one another, sending Jenna's drink down both their shirts. After her effusive apology and a stack of napkins to clean up the mess, Knox had bought her a new drink and asked her to join them. He'd also asked for her phone number, which she'd given with a smile. That was three weeks ago. So far, so good.
Jenna had said she wanted to take it slow and Knox was fine with that. It was far better than a few other females he'd dated that had practically had the wedding planned after a few dates. He could be patient. As far as he was concerned, Jenna was worth it.
Because he liked her. Really liked her. More than he could remember liking any other woman in his memory. She was everything Chris had said and more. He found himself thinking about her at the most inconvenient times of the day. There was something about her that he couldn't quite put into words, but he felt comfortable with her in a way that he hadn't with anyone else he'd ever dated. She challenged him too, making him think about things in a new way. She was wickedly intelligent and incredibly gorgeous. She was also funny as hell and she could probably have just about any guy that she wanted.
It appeared that she wanted Knox.
Which is just fine with me.
She only had one flaw that Knox could see. She wanted to talk. Specifically about their relationship. Several times now she'd said that they needed to have a serious discussion.
Knox didn't "do" serious relationship discussions if he could avoid it. He especially didn't want to have them in the early days of dating. If she wanted to know where their relationship was going she was going to have to wait and see, just like him. Luckily, so far, he'd been able to get her away from the topic using diversionary tactics. Kisses, joking, whatever would work in the moment. If they continued dating, they'd eventually have to have some sort of conversation but he wasn't looking forward to it.
It really didn't make much sense to him either. Jenna swore she wanted to take things slow, but then she also wanted to have a serious talk.
Which was it?
"I think we'll wait on the grandkids. We've only been dating three weeks."
"It looks like it's going pretty good. She fits into our strange little group very well."
"I'm not sure that's a good thing," Knox laughed. "I wouldn't call us mainstream or even normal."
"Who wants to be normal? I don't," Chris declared.
"You're well on your way, bro."
Jenna, Mariah, Ella, and Shaw were finished playing a game where they shot water into a clown’s mouth and inflated a balloon. The first one that burst won a prize and Shaw was holding a large pink stuffed elephant proudly and showing it to her fiancé Luke.
Jenna shrugged and laughed at her loss, settling into the chair next to Knox. She looked beautiful this evening, dressed casually in blue jeans and a white button-down blouse. She wasn't petite or delicate, instead tall, leggy, and athletic. She had that California-girl look with her pale blonde hair, almond shaped blue eyes, and golden skin, although she swore to him that she'd never stepped foot in that state
"I didn't win," Jenna said, mock pouting as she linked their arms together and rested her chin on his shoulder. "Shaw's a champ at that game. She traded in three small prizes for that giant one."
"I can buy you a stuffed animal," Knox offered, snuggling closer and taking in her heady scent, a mixture of florals and fresh rain. "Hell, I'll buy you two."
Jenna nudged his shoulder. "Thank you, but I'm okay. Just a little disappointed. I'm simply too competitive for my own good. I want to win everything."
"There's nothing wrong with that as long as you’re not body checking people to knock them out of the way."
Giggling, she pressed a quick kiss on his jaw. "I thought about it but I controlled myself."
He waggled his eyebrows, his pulse quickening. "Control is overrated."
"Think so?" she whispered, her breath warm on his cheek and her fingertips skating along his arm. The skin tingled in her wake. "What would losing control look like?"
"We'd definitely be closer," he said, his lips brushing her ear. "A lot closer."
They'd been taking it slow but he wasn't against taking a big leap in their relationship. Right into his king-sized mattress. Her could already see her long blonde hair tousled on his pillows.
Damn, he wanted her so badly it hurt.
She glanced over at their friends. "I don't think we can do that here. They might not let us back into this place."
"Are you suggesting that we would be indecent in public?" he chuckled, tangling their fingers together. He wasn't a big fan of public displays but there was something about this woman... He could barely keep his hands off of her.
"I think you were suggesting it."
"Actually, I was suggesting that we go somewhere else. Somewhere far more private."
"Private sounds good. But we can't just blow off your friends. That wouldn't be nice."
His friends were currently cock blocking him, and they probably didn't even realize it. Luckily, Mariah was yawning and clearly getting tired. She and Ryan were sure to call an end to the evening quite soon. It was already midnight and none of them were party animals anymore.
"I can wait."
But not for much longer.
Knox had a feeling that tonight was going to be fucking fantastic.
The closer Jenna and Knox got to her home the more nervous she became. Right now her stomach was tied into a painful knot and her heart was racing so fast it threatened to jump out of her chest and take off out of the car. She kept telling herself to breathe slowly and calm down but it wasn't working in the least. She was terrified her dinner was going to make an uninvited second appearance.
Things were moving far too fast, as in lighting speed, but Jenna didn't seem to know how to slow them down. Her relationship with Knox had taken on a life of its own and it only seemed to gain momentum with each passing day.
She liked him.
Really, really liked him. A lot.
He was intelligent, funny, kind, and sexy as hell. He was the kind of guy that she'd always hoped to find but hadn't had any luck until that night in the sports bar when she'd spilled her beer on both of them. Instantly, she'd been charmed by his flashing smile and easy laugh. He was far too handsome for his own good, but he wasn't arrogant about it. He definitely knew he was attractive but he'd never treated her as if she was lucky to be with him. He was a great person and she loved spending time together.
She was also lying to him.
It wasn't a teeny tiny lie, either. It was a big whopper and she was deeply ashamed of herself. So many times she'd tried to talk to him and come clean, but somehow he'd steer the conversation in another direction and the next thing she knew the truth hadn't come out.
Tonight, she couldn't put it off any longer. Because it was one thing to date a guy that didn't know the unadulterated truth, but she couldn't make love with him under these circumstances. She couldn't be
intimate with him and lie to him all at the same time. It simply wasn't who she was. This time she wouldn't let him quiet her. She was going to say what she had to say and he was damn well going to listen.
Then he'd probably tell her that he never wanted to see her again. She'd be heartbroken because she'd really come to care for Knox Owens. She hadn't planned it, and it sure wasn't convenient or even wanted but here she was. She liked a man and she was probably going to get dumped tonight.
It's your own fault. You should have been honest from that first moment.
I just didn't expect to...like him so much. I thought he'd be different.
She had intended to be truthful. She'd never intended to keep her secret, but that first evening had just been so fun that she hadn't wanted it to end. Then on their second date, she'd honestly tried but when she'd said that she had something she wanted to talk about, he'd managed to keep her from talking. Mostly by kissing her, but it had been extremely effective. That had pretty much been his habit thus far.
She'd say they needed to have a serious talk and he'd start the romance.
And Knox Owens was a great kisser. He knew what he was doing and he absolutely knew that spot on the back of her neck that made her shudder and lose the ability to put sentences together. He could turn her into a pile of jelly with one smoldering look. The sex was sure to be off the charts too.
Not that she was going to find out.
Jenna had allowed this to go too far, and too long. Knox wasn't going to be a happy man. He'd probably be furious and she honestly couldn't blame him.
I'm to blame. Me.
Those words echoed in her head as she led Knox into her condo and switched on a few lights and the television. She couldn't seem to relax so instead she went into the kitchen to get them both a drink. She needed to move around. It was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment.
"Beer, wine, water, soda? I think I'm going to have soda," she said, keeping her hands busy by dumping ice into a glass. She was so distracted she didn't realize Knox had come up behind her until she felt his arms around her waist and his solid frame pressed up against her back.
His body heat immediately penetrated the thin cotton of her shirt and sinking into her skin.
"I'll take a soda too but why don't you let me fix them?" he said, his lips close to her ear. She could feel his breath against her cheek and her stomach did a full flip in her abdomen at his close proximity. "You go and relax."
This - right here - was her problem. When Knox was close like this she could barely think straight. How was she supposed to have a serious talk with him when she was a drooling, aroused mess? It wasn't fair. She was only human after all.
She opened her mouth to object and tell him that she couldn't relax, but that sounded dumb so instead she did as she asked, leaving him in her tiny kitchen while she tried to get settled on the couch. She grabbed the remote on the coffee table and began to surf through the channels, skipping over a steamy romance movie and landing on a comedy she'd never actually watched all the way through. The canned laugh track always grated on her nerves but she'd put up with it tonight.
"What are we watching?" Knox asked when he settled next to her on the couch. He placed two glasses on the coffee table in front of them and then leaned back against the cushions, his arm tucked around her shoulders. He felt warm and solid and reassuring at this moment. She wanted to lean on him and tell him all of her troubles. She wanted him to know the truth.
And then she wanted him to want to still see her even after he knew.
She was dreaming.
"Uh, I'm not sure of the name. It's supposed to be funny."
Except that she wasn't laughing. She was far too jumpy to enjoy the lighthearted banter of the actors. Any other day she would have probably loved it.
Knox leaned closer, his hand skimming down her arm and raising goosebumps on the flesh with the simple contact. "Jenna, are you okay? You seem a little off."
I am a little off. Or way off.
"I don't know what you mean."
She was lying through her teeth.
"Okay, I was just concerned, that's all."
He was being nice and she wasn't. Dammit. This wasn't what she wanted.
"That's sweet, but I swear I'm fine." She leaned forward and grabbed her soda, taking a drink. She'd managed to make it all awkward and weird between them. "Is there anything that you want to watch? I think there's a game on another channel."
"I'm not fussy."
He wasn't which she liked about him. He was definitely a man that picked his battles.
"I know you'd rather watch sports."
He shrugged. "I'm good either way. Did you have fun tonight?"
That was an easy question.
"I did. Your friends are a lot of fun." She paused and then took a deep breath, plunging forward. "It must be great working with them day to day."
"It is. They're great guys and I'm lucky to be a part of the team."
"I would...love to hear more about your work. It sounds so interesting."
So far Knox hadn't been all that forthcoming about his job. She hadn't tried to strong-arm him into talking but this time she'd just went for it and asked.
"It can be interesting and it can be boring as hell too. A lot of computer research and digging through old, dusty file folders. There are some weeks I barely leave the office."
"And when you do?"
His brows rose. "Are you thinking about becoming a cop? I swear I'm not holding anything back. It's just not that exciting like it is on television and in the movies."
"You mean you aren't Dirty Harry?"
"Not even close," he laughed. "Personally, I'm not fond of having a gun pointed at me. None of my friends enjoy it either."
"That sounds wise."
"I think we'll live longer."
"Are you working on anything interesting now?"
Rubbing the stubble on his chin, he grimaced. "I'm between major cases at the moment so I've been helping the other guys. When the next big one comes up, it's mine."
"Like a murder?"
"Like a murder," he confirmed with a nod. "And if that happens, I might have to be out of town for a bit. I do tend to travel a lot for my job."
Knox had mentioned that early on but so far, he'd only had to fly out once for a few days.
"So...how do you do it? I mean...what are the steps to solving a crime? Like murder, for example."
"You want to know how I would solve a murder?"
He seemed genuinely puzzled by her question.
"Yes, I'm intrigued. I've watched that crime channel a few times but I've never known any cops before. So what would you do first?"
His eyes narrowed suspiciously and her heart leaped into her throat. "Are you one of those crime junkies that find serial killers fascinating?"
"No, not at all. I'm just very interested in your job. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
His expression relaxed and he gave her a slow, sweet smile. "It's okay. I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of those murder groupies."
"I don't even know what that is."
"I get the fascination but for the most part my job is pretty routine."
"Except that you catch the bad guys."
"I try."
"No matter who they are." He frowned at her reply so she rushed forward. "For example, if the killer were a billionaire you would still arrest them, right?"
"Absolutely."
"Or a famous actor."
"Yes."
She was beginning to sweat on the back of her neck. "Or...a family member."
He looked puzzled again but he nodded in agreement. "Yes, if someone is guilty of murder it wouldn't matter who they were."
"I'm glad you feel that way."
Sweat trickled down her back and the room spun for a moment and then righted itself. She wasn't going to let him put her off again. She had to come clean. She had to tell the truth. She couldn't go on this way; it was te
aring her apart bit by bit. She was falling for this man and he didn't have a clue...
"I would hope most people feel that way, Jenna."
Curling her fingers into a fist, the nails cut into the palms creating a small hurt to distract from the gigantic hurt in her heart. Her chest had closed up, squeezing her ribs against each painful thump.
"There's something we need to talk about."
"Jenna–"
He started to move away but she grabbed his hand. "No. Stop. I mean it this time. We need to talk."
There was panic in his expression as if he wanted to run.
"Listen, I really like you, Jenna. A lot. Can't we just take our time and see where the relationship goes? Do we need to define it right now? I'm not seeing anyone else if that's what you're asking."
At first, she was confused by his words. They didn't make any sense. Then when she'd had a moment to wrap her addled brain around them, she realized that they were having two quite different conversations.
Christ on a unicycle, he thought she wanted to discuss their relationship?
Really, Knox? I mean, you're hot and everything. But it isn't all about you.
"That isn't what I want to talk about. I don't want to discuss where our relationship is going."
Because it was about to crash and burn. In full pyrotechnic gory glory.
Frowning, he shook his head, seemingly perplexed. "Then what do you want to talk about?"
"My sister."
"Your sister?" he echoed. "What about her? I didn't even know you had a sister. You've never mentioned her before."
"She's not my real sister," Jenna explained. "Her family sort of took me in and adopted me. She's my best friend in the whole world and I don't know where she is. I haven't heard from her in almost six months."
"Six months? How come? Did you argue?"
Jenna shook her head, her throat growing tight with emotion. Tears burned the back of her eyes.
Deceptive Truth: Cowboy Justice Association (Serials and Stalkers Book 4) Page 2
