by Aven Ellis
To my surprise, Taylor gets tearful as we reach the point where I have to go through security.
“I’m going to miss having you around,” Taylor declares.
“Me too,” I say, giving her a huge hug. “But I’ll be back before you know it. And you have to come back and visit your family, right?”
Taylor nods. “Right. Not goodbye. See you later.”
I smile happily. “Totally see you later.”
We hug one more time, and Taylor leaves. I wait to go through security, and then I decide to find a place to pick up a bottle of water before my flight.
I find a nice spot next to the window and drop my carry-on bag and tote into the vacant chair next to me. Wow. I must be early or nobody is flying this April day, as there are only about six people waiting for the eight o’clock flight to Chicago.
I’m so glad I moved my flight up. As great as the trade show has been, and as much as I’ve loved being with Taylor, I’m ready to head back.
And I can’t wait to see the look on Landon’s face when I surprise him by coming home early.
Chapter 31
TriviaPlayOrPass!
DesignerA and Scott921, your game is over.
I carry the cardboard container with two cups of coffee—Landon’s black with a splash of cream and my skinny flat white—along with some muffins and croissants. Indulgent? Yes. But I want to spoil Landon with breakfast in bed this morning.
I grin as I punch the button to Landon’s floor at the Jourdin Chicago. My flight got in early, so I was able to drop my stuff at home and catch the train into the city. One quick cab ride later, and I’m here. Home.
Our home.
I mean, it feels that way since Landon gave me a key before I left. He dropped it into my palm, closed my fingers over it, and wrapped his hand over mine. Landon told me I could use it whenever I wanted. That his home was my home.
And from the tender way he gazed at me when he said it, I know it’s true.
It’s our home now.
Ding!
The elevator chimes, and I step out onto Landon’s—er, our—floor. Happiness zips through me at the thought of the look of surprise on his face when I open the door. I love surprises, and nothing is better than surprising the man I love.
I carefully balance the tray in one hand as I fumble to retrieve the keys in my tote. I feel around and locate them. I quietly turn the key in the lock, trying to sneak in without Landon hearing me.
I stealthily enter the hallway, very slowly shutting the door behind me. Luckily I have my Converse shoes on so I can tiptoe quietly down the hallway. I figure I’ll find him asleep—he told me last night there’s no practice this morning—with GiGi curled up on his chest.
And I’ll wake him with a kiss when I see him, I think.
But before I can head toward the master bedroom, I hear a woman’s voice.
“There’s no need for you to be concerned. She’ll never know I’m here.”
I stop dead in my tracks. My heart roars in my ears.
I know that voice.
It’s Kayla’s voice.
Oh God. Oh God.
I begin to shake, and my brain fights the thoughts creeping to the surface.
I know Landon.
I know his heart.
There has to be an explanation for this.
I make myself move forward. Instead of taking the hallway to the living room, I turn toward the den, my heart pounding furiously with each step I take. Finally, I reach the edge of the room.
And there I find Landon with Kayla.
Landon is dressed like he just rolled out of bed, with sweatpants on and no shirt. But Kayla—oh, she’s in a camisole and pajama bottoms, and it’s obvious she just woke up.
Kayla has her hands on Landon’s arms as she’s speaking to him.
“I won’t say a word about our being together,” she says, gazing up at Landon. “It will be our secret. But we have to talk about what happened. Our time is now, don’t you see? We’re finally free to be together, Baby.”
“Oh my God,” I gasp, dropping the tray of coffee and my tote on the floor. The cups go flying and hot coffee splatters against my jeans, but that pain is nothing compared to what I’m feeling right now. The contents of my tote hit the floor hard, scattering in all different directions across the hardwood floor.
My judgment has been wrong again.
Landon spins around at the sound of my voice. “Livy?”
I see that his glasses are on and his hair is messed up, and it’s obvious he just rolled out of bed, too.
Nausea rises in me. Landon betrayed me.
He slept with Kayla.
“I believed you,” I whisper, taking a step backwards, “I believed you, Landon!”
“Whoa, whoa, what do you think is going on here?” Landon asks, his voice incredulous as he moves toward me. “Livy, you don’t seriously think I did something with Kayla, do you?”
Tears pool in my eyes. I bite down hard on my lip to keep from sobbing in front of him. My past has reached up and grabbed me like a vise, and it won’t let go. I was lied to and cheated on before by someone who promised I was different.
My inability to judge a man has led me right back to what happened with Troy.
But this time, it’s happening with the man I love more than anything on this earth.
Kayla takes a moment to pull down her tank top, which has risen up her taut, tanned stomach. The black lace waistband of her panties peeks out from her low-slung pajama pants bottoms.
Did Landon touch her like he touched me? Did he sexily remove those panties and make love in the same way?
I’m going to throw up. I’m going to be sick. All I can see is Landon and Kayla in our bed.
In our bed.
Landon closes the gap between us, putting his hands on my arms and gripping me.
“Livy, you know me. This is not what you think,” Landon says urgently, his eyes burning into mine. “Let me explain. Kay—”
“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid,” I sob, shoving him backwards. Tears are streaming down my face, but I do nothing to stop them. I drop to the floor, grabbing my wallet, my keys, and lipsticks and dumping them back in my bag. I stand back up. “I’ve lived through this hell once. But I never dreamed I would live it again with you.” I whisper. “Not with you.”
I turn and flee. I run down the hall, with Landon chasing after me. He catches me and spins me around before I can even reach the elevator.
“Let me go!” I cry, his image blurring in front of me as I try to get out of his grasp.
“No!” Landon shouts. “Livy, you have to calm down. You have to listen to me!”
“No I don’t!” I sob. “The evidence is there. And the first time I’m out of town you screwed around.”
Landon’s eyes flash. “Do you honestly believe that? That I would fuck around on you, after all we’ve meant to each other? After everything I’ve said to you?”
I jerk my arm free. “Don’t you dare,” I say, my voice shaking, “treat me like I’m an idiot. She’s in your condo in pajamas.”
“It’s our condo,” Landon insists. “Do you think I would give you a key if I wanted to cheat on you? Do you?”
For a moment, I wrestle with his words. No, that doesn’t make sense.
“Landy, Baby, are you coming back?” Kayla calls out, leaning against the doorframe.
Landon’s head jerks at the sound of her voice, and I take the opportunity to get out of his grasp. I run to the elevator and punch the down button, but Landon is right back next to me.
“We’re not done,” he says, his voice full of anger.
“You don’t get to decide that!” I shout back. The doors chime open, and I leap inside
. But Landon does too and hits the emergency button to stop it from moving.
“So you don’t want the truth?”
“I don’t want to hear anything from you!” I choke out.
“Too bad, you are going to hear me out,” he says, his voice thick with anger. “Kayla just showed up. In her pajamas. She and Ben are over. They broke up. She showed up unannounced, saying she needed a friend. I told her I didn’t feel right about her being in our place dressed like that-that’s when you walked in, I bet—and now she’s talking crazy and I need to get to the bottom of that, but I would never, ever, cheat on you, Livy. I don’t want anyone but you, don’t you get that?”
I freeze as Landon’s words hit me in the heart. I search his pained face and suddenly I realize I was wrong.
About everything.
“But that doesn’t matter now, does it?” Landon shouts at me, losing control. “Because no matter how things looked in there, or what Kayla said or was wearing, I would expect you, of all people, to believe in me. To believe in what we’ve been building. To believe that my words and that my intentions are true. But you don’t.”
“Landon, I—” I try to speak, but Landon cuts me off.
“It kills me to think you thought I was capable of fucking around on you,” Landon whispers, his voice thick. “I loved you. I wanted forever with you. But I don’t want it with a woman who doesn’t believe in me.”
Then he punches a button on the elevator to open the doors and steps out, leaving me behind.
Chapter 32
TriviaPlayOrPass!
“Someone Like You” became the first number-one single in the United Kingdom for which British singer?
The second the doors close and the elevator begins to descend, I feel that my knees want to give out from underneath me. I press my back to the wall of the elevator for support, grasping the back rail, with one thought echoing through my tortured heart.
Landon loved me.
And my past wouldn’t let me trust him.
With a shaking hand, I slide my sunglasses down from the top of my head to hide my tears. I somehow manage to pull myself together enough to get out of the building and hail a cab back to the suburbs, everything that just happened playing over in my head like a horrible movie.
Landon was right. About all of it. I let my past of being deceived take a hold of the situation and my heart never bothered to interfere. Yes, it looked bad, but I should have known that Kayla would be up to something.
But not the man who wanted forever with me.
I hang on through the ride back home, silently being tortured by my own actions. I hold it together long enough to pay the cab driver, put the key into the lock, and get inside my house.
Then I lose it.
Heavy sobs rack my body, and I slide down the back of the front door, falling apart on the foyer floor. I’ve lost Landon. I’ve lost the greatest love I’ve ever known, and it’s all my fault.
“Livy!”
I push myself up and find Nana hurrying toward me, a concerned look on her face.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Landon,” I get out. But just saying his name causes me to lose it all over again. “Come on,” Nana urges, helping me up. “Let’s sit on the couch. You’re going to tell me what happened with Landy.”
“I broke his heart, and I can’t undo what I’ve done,” I finally cry.
Adele’s “Someone Like You” comes to my mind, about losing love, and a sob escapes my throat.
I’ve lost him.
And I’ll never recover from it.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Nana says, interrupting my tortured thoughts. “Let’s sit down and talk this out.”
We sit down in the den, and I curl up against Nana, like I did when I was a little girl. I feel her fingers stroking through my hair in a soothing way as I tell her the whole story, from Landon’s past with his family, to Kayla, to my own insecurities. I tell her every detail of the fight. What I said to him and what he said to me.
“Nana,” I whisper tearfully as I come to the end. “Landon will never forgive what I’ve done.”
Nana is silent for a moment. She sits me up and faces me so she can look into my eyes.
“This isn’t about Landon’s past clouding your judgment,” Nana says slowly as she strokes my cheek. “It’s about yours. Landon was right about that. You were so terrified about the past repeating itself that your head wouldn’t listen to your heart. And your fear was heightened because you love him so much. But my darling, don’t you see? You were wrong once. Your heart knows the truth about Landon. Believe in your judgment. Trust yourself and your heart. Nothing else matters.
“Let me tell you about my past,” Nana says. “Your mother doesn’t even know this. But back in the day, well, I’ll be blunt. I liked sex. And I believed in test-driving the car before buying it, so to speak. What can I say, I drove a lot of cars.”
I stare at Nana, and I know my mouth is open.
“Close your mouth, Livy, I was a hottie in my prime,” Nana quips.
I close my mouth, and Nana continues.
“Anyway, then I met your grandpa, and I fell madly in love,” she says. “He was The One. I didn’t want to drive any more cars. Much like your Landy. Anyway, your grandpa heard a lot of stories about me, a lot of crap I might add, and his mother warned him not to marry me. But he told me he knew my heart. And that’s all he needed to know. We were married for more than 40 years, and I was faithful until the day he died. And you and Landy will have that kind of marriage. I know it.”
I sit back in complete amazement. No wonder Nana felt such a kinship toward Landon.
“But Grandpa believed you,” I protest. “I didn’t believe Landon.”
“Your grandpa didn’t have to deal with what you did. A slut in pajamas trying to seduce your man,” Nana counters. “Landon is mad, but he’ll get over it if he really loves you. His big heart got him into trouble. Yes, that Kayla is a tart, but you wouldn’t want him to change his compassion. After all, you have the same empathy for your friends. I’ve seen it with Collins. You two are kindred spirits that way.”
“I never thought of it like that,” I admit.
“You believe Collins because she’s never given you a reason not to,” Nana says. “Landon did the same with Kayla. Okay, so that was a screw up because it was obvious she’s a ho, but we’ll give him that one. I have a feeling this episode has exposed that to him, too. But that was his past clouding his judgment. You’re both even.”
“What if he doesn’t come back?” I whisper.
“Then you go after him. You make him listen. You fight for him,” Nana urges.
Go after him.
Suddenly I remember the fortune I received when I got Chinese takeout with Landon that night.
“If he loves you, he will come after you,” I blurt out. “Nana, that’s a fortune I received in a cookie! It’s a sign!”
Nana studies me. “I think we need to re-write that one. If she loves you, she will come after you.”
A flicker of hope is lit inside of me with those words.
I do love Landon.
And I’m going to go after him.
I spend the rest of the day in action. After drying my tears, I went straight to the guild to work. I crafted a fortune-cookie bracelet for Landon, one that I affixed to a black leather band like the other bracelets I’ve made him.
I’m wearing my own fortune bracelet, but mine has a different fortune on it. And my fortune has never been truer than it is right now: “Love is seeing inside.”
I think of what I see in Landon, what is invisible to everyone else—his big heart, how sensitive he is, and how much empathy he has for others. How afraid Landon is to let people get close. How he fears love becaus
e he could hurt someone. Or that they won’t love him in the same way he loves them.
But with me, Landon has changed. He opened his heart. Landon let me inside, let me see the real Landon Holder, the man no woman ever got to know until I came into his life.
Just like I let Landon into mine.
I see it so clearly now. My heart connected with his, and it overruled my brain, which was terrified of taking a chance on him.
Because we saw things in each other that were worth facing our fears for, we took a leap of faith. Love was worth putting our hearts on the line.
A lump grows in my throat as I realize how I didn’t let Landon speak because I thought he had broken my heart. I leapt to the conclusion that he had betrayed me in the worst possible way, with a woman I had warned him about. I was rash because of my past. I didn’t listen to my instincts, I didn’t trust what we had built together. I let my past and brain overrule what my heart knew all along.
I know I can trust my instincts because they led me to Landon.
My missing puzzle piece.
I place the bracelet on tissue paper and put it in a box. Then I put my tools back in my toolbox and close it up. I’m going to go home, get cleaned up, and go over to Landon’s. Thank God there’s no game tonight. I pray he’s at home and not out with Pierre and Luca, who along with Beckett, are Landon’s squad for nights out on the road.
I drive back from the guild, the lump still lodged in my throat. I pray Nana is right. That Landon has calmed down and will listen to me.
That he will forgive me.
I make the drive back to my house in the suburbs and to my surprise, I see Aubrey’s car parked in my driveway.
I immediately slam on the breaks in the middle of the street. Landon must have told her about breaking up with me. Is that why she’s here? So she can comfort me in person?
