by KC Mills
I leaned back and rubbed my chin, thinking about what he was saying. It would make it easier to keep up with what was moving and where, but I didn’t want to change things too much to where customers would have to search for what they wanted.
“You think that’s a good idea? Certain people look for certain things. We lose sales if they have to do a seek and find.”
“True, but we’ll make sure we transition well, and they’ll always have what they need. It’s just an idea though, but I think it will work.”
“I’m down with it, if you think it will work. Anything to make shit run better, you know me.”
“Aight then, I’ll look into it. What’s good for tonight though? We rolling through Spotlight? You know Nonie and Kizzie got a joint there tonight.”
“Don't act like your ass ain’t running through there with or without me, but yeah we’re going. It's been a minute and I need to see Nonie.”
“Yeah, nigga, I bet you do. Got random hoes under your desk and shit.”
“Mind your business, Jock. Me and Nonie got our own thing. What’s up with Kizzie, though? She said anything to you about us seeing her so called man hugged up with another female while we were in New York.”
“Hell no. She still pretending like they all good and shit. I’ll let her have that for a minute, but then I’m calling her on it. She gon’ fuck around and make me walk.”
“Yeah, aight. You talk a good game, bruh, but Kizze got your ass by the balls and you know it.”
Jock’s stupid ass grinned before he laughed randomly. “You’re right, but she don't know that shit, and she ain't gon’ know it until she gets her damn head right.”
“What the fuck ever.”
“I’m telling you, Siah, just watch, but I’m out though. I need to run through a few spots before we head out tonight. You driving?”
“Not sure yet, but I’ll let you know.”
“Man, we already know the answer to that shit. You gon’ be lit the fuck up, but I’ll hit you before I swing through.”
I just laughed. Jock was right. The chance of me being in the club and not being lit was slim. But who knows? I might just chill tonight.
*****
I sat in VIP with Jock and a few of my people chilling, and watching Nonie do her thing. Pretty was killing it as always, but that was to be expected. Nonie was about her business, and I loved that about her. She had a nigga proud and that was hard for anybody to do, especially a female.
Most of the shorties I dealt with were all about what I could do for them and not about what they could do for their damn selves. That shit was just unheard of, and since my pockets were deep, I came across the worst of the worst on some gold digging type shit.
“Siah, you want some company? You look good tonight baby?”
I looked up into Corin’s face and then down her body. Her curves stood out as the black leather strapless dress she wore hung on for dear life. I wasn't trying to chill with her on that type of level, but I was seriously debating taking her into one of the private bathrooms and bending her over the sink. That was until I looked up and caught the frown on Nonie’s face. She looked right at me as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. I chuckled to myself as my tongue glided across my lips.
“Nah, I’m good, but ’preciate the offer, though. I’m just chilling tonight.” I leaned forward and grabbed the bottle of Hennessy that was on the table in front of me before turning it up and then lowering it into my lap as I stretched my other arm across the back of the sofa.
“Damn, Siah, it's like that? I thought for sure you'd be ready for a good time.”
“Always ready, baby girl, just not with you and not tonight. Like I said, I’m chilling.”
I nodded toward Sims who walked up to Corin and politely guided her out of our section just in time, because Nonie was walking up.
I smiled as she passed by Corin, giving her a nastiest look before her eyes locked on mine. She sat down next to me on the sofa, but on the edge until I pulled her back into my side and lowered my arm around her shoulder. She smelled so damn good, but she always did.
“Why you checking shorty like that, Pretty? I sent her away, so there’s no need to be hateful.”
“I'm not worried about Corin’s hoe ass, and I’m not being hateful.”
“Yes, you are, but it’s cool, though.”
“Whatever, Siah. I just came to speak, but I have work to do, so I’ll catch you later if you don't get too busy.”
I chuckled and leaned in so that I could kiss her on the neck. She reacted the same way she always did, and instantly looked around to see who had eyes on us. It didn't matter though, well not to me anyway. She cared because she knew Royce’s bitch ass was in here somewhere, but I saw him pushing up on some other hoe earlier, so fuck him. Even if he was alone, I still wouldn't have had any fucks to give.
“I’m going home with you tonight, so fuck everybody else in here,” I said, just before I grabbed her chin and pulled her into a kiss, which she quickly backed away from.
“Siah, don’t do that.”
“Why not, Nonie? You the only one who cares what other people think. I don't give a fuck and you know it. If I wanna kiss you, I will.”
Jock laughed and Nonie leaned forward enough to punch him in the arm.
“Don't hit me ’cause you mad that nigga telling the truth. But where Kiz at though, Nonie?”
“She’s where she’s at. You wanna know, go find her,” Nonie said, peering at Jock before she turned back to me.
“I have to go. Have fun.”
“Don't forget what said. I’m going home with you tonight, Nonie.”
She waved me off and walked out as Jock yelled after her. “Yo, tell Kizzie to come see me. Nonie, don't forget.”
She threw her hand in the air and shot him a bird without looking back at him.
“Yo, she be on some shit, Siah. You need to get right with her so she can calm that funky ass attitude down.” Jock lifted a bottle of Ace to his lips and turned it up.
“That's on you. She don't have an attitude with me, and I’m with her. If you wanna know where Kizze is, get your ass up and go find her.”
“Fuck you, Siah. I got this.”
“Apparently not,” I said.
“Why the fuck you keep following me, nigga? I told you I didn't know that shit. Let it go, Jamar. If that’s your girl then go be with her instead of following me, telling me shit I don't give a fuck about.”
I looked up just in time to see and hear Royce yell as he entered our VIP area. He looked annoyed as hell, with Jamar right behind him, looking like he was about to cry.
“That’s some fucked up shit, Royce. Don't act like you didn't know. You’ve seen me with her plenty of times.
Royce turned to Jamar and shoved him back, after he walked up on him. “Nigga, just ’cause I've seen you in the same building at the same muthafucking time don’t mean I’ve seen you with her. I fucked her. Get over it.”
“The fuck wrong with you two? Y'all killing my vibe up in here and shit,” Jock said and I laughed at his stupid ass.
It wasn't anything for these fools to be beefing over female, so I wasn't moved by any of it. In fact, it was funny as shit to watch.
“He took my girl in the bathroom and fucked her.” Jamar was drunk as hell, barely keeping his balance and slurring his words.
“The fuck you mad at him for? She went with him, right? You need to get in her shit, not his,” Jock said, serious as hell, which pissed Jamar off and made Royce laugh.
They were loud as hell and causing a crowd to form. I was on the verge of shutting them down because I could see Nonie and Kizze heading our way, but shit changed real quick when I heard my name.
“Oh, you think that shit is funny? I bet it ain't funny when it happens to you. I bet your ass won't have shit to say about Siah fucking Nonie.”
“The fuck did you just say?” Royce yelled, shoving Jamar in the chest again, but this time causing him to hit the f
loor.
I was on my feet so damn fast that I dropped the bottle of Hennessy that I holding.
“Yo, Sims, Jock get this nigga out of here. Take him out back and I’ll be there in a minute.
Jock yanked him off the floor, damn near lifting Jamar in the air before he started pleading. “Wait, no, wait Siah, it just slipped out. I’m sorry man, please don't.”
My eyes immediately went to Nonie, who looked horrified. I didn't really care that Royce found out, in fact I was glad it was finally out, but I didn't like the look on her face.
Royce rushed her and grabbed her arm, which meant this nigga was playing with his life and didn't even know it.
“Is it true? You fucking him?” he yelled, inches away from her face, which caused her to take a step back.
My arm circled his neck, pulling him back toward me as I tried to choke the shit out of his ass. “Yo, don't get in her face like that, my nigga, and you need to watch how the fuck you talk to her.”
Now Royce’s attention was on me. His hands gripped my arm before he laughed sarcastically. “How long, Siah? How long you been fucking her? No, wait, let me guess, I bet since the day I brought her to your house. I can't believe this shit. Let me go, Siah. I’m good. I ain't got shit to say to her. I should have fucking known.”
I really wanted to fuck him up, but Nonie’s voice caught my attention.
“Siah, let him go please,” she begged.
I released the hold I had on him and he stepped back and fixed his clothes. He eyed me and then turned to leave, but not before stopping in front of Nonie. “You ain't shit,” he said.
I was on my way to snatch his ass up again until I felt her hand on my chest. “Siah, don't, let him go. He has the right to be mad.”
“Fuck him, Nonie. He can be mad all he wants, but that nigga don't have the right to talk to you like that.”
“Yeah, he does. So let him go.”
I looked at her, pissed the fuck off. She looked back at me, so broken, which had me even more pissed. She was worried about that nigga’s feelings more than mine, and that had me heated.
I stared at her for a few minutes more before I kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, and I’m sorry for fucking up your event,” I said before I held my hand up, signaling for my team to follow me.
I couldn't deal with Nonie right now, not while she was putting another nigga’s interest ahead of mine. But it was cool, though. I’d just get up with her later. Right now, I was about to go take a life, and probably with my bare hands. Jamar had just fucked up, and was about to pay for it in the worst way.
Nonie
I called Royce over and over again, but he wouldn't answer, and eventually it started going straight to voicemail. I really needed to talk to him. We weren't together now, but we were when I first started dealing with Siah, and Royce had to know that. I felt like shit, and I at least owed him an explanation. It wouldn’t make it right, but I owed him that much.
“Let it go, Nonie. He’ll be alright,” Kizze said as she sat down next to me at the bar.
The party was over and it was almost time for us to leave. We eventually got things back on track after Siah and his crew left, but word got out that Jamar had been dealt with. No one cared because nobody was stupid enough to play with their lives by snitching on Siah, so it was just that simple.
“I should have told him, Kiz. A long time ago.”
“For what, baby? You think it would have made a difference then or now? Either way he still would have had the same reaction, but at least the fact that it happened this way means that he gets to live. If he had put his hands on you more than he did tonight, Siah would have killed his ass for sure. Hell, he might still do it.” Kizzie laughed to herself.
“That's not funny, Kiz.”
“Girl, I’m just playing. Relax. Bottom line is this, now you can stop hiding things and be with Siah the way you want to.”
“No, I can't. That changes my situation, but not his.”
“Girl, stop. The way Siah was up in here acting a fool about you, kissing on you and defending you didn't go unnoticed. You’d have to be blind not to notice it, Nonie. I wouldn't be surprised if Royce didn't already know and was too damn scary to say shit about it, so like it or not, you’re Siah’s girl. I mean you’ve been that for a long time, but now everybody knows.”
“Yeah, well it still doesn’t change who he is. You ready to get out of here, though?”
“I’m ready. Besides, Jock keeps blowing up my phone, telling me to hurry up.”
“You’re talking about me, what about you? You know that Jock knows Red is cheating on you. Siah told him, so he’s probably wondering why you haven’t said anything to him yet.”
“I know, but I’m not talking to him about that, so it doesn't matter. Until I figure out what I want to do, nothing's changing.”
When I was on my feet, Kizzie threw her arms around me and kissed me on my cheek. “You’ll be alright. This is just that push you needed. Siah makes you happy, and I know it's not perfect, but give it time and it could be.”
“Thanks, Kiz, and the same with you, Jock, and Red,” I said with a smirk, which made her shove me so hard I almost fell over.
“Here I am trying to be a good friend, and you got jokes.”
I was laughing but I hugged Kizzie around the waist as she tried to walk away. “I'm just playing, Kiz. You know I love you, boo.”
“Whatever, man.”
She shoved me away from her body and we both left the club. I hopped in my car while she got in hers, and we left the parking lot following each other.
When I pulled into my driveway I exhaled slowly, knowing that Siah was in my house because I could see my bedroom light on and I knew I had shut everything off before I left. I was a little OCD with things like that. As much as I wanted to see him, I knew he was going to have a problem with me defending Royce, so I got out and made my way to the door, prepared for a fight.
After I was in my house, I locked up and headed to my bedroom. My door was open, but the bathroom door was closed and I could hear that the shower was on. The clothes that Siah wore to the club were laying across my dresser and I noticed blood in the pale grey button up, which let me know that what everyone was whispering about Jamar was true.
I emptied his pockets and dumped his clothes into my hamper, not really moved by the fact that they were blood stained. It wasn't that I was okay with it, but knowledge of stuff like that came with having Yosiah in my life. It was a part of who he was, basically his life. I had experienced it before, and I had to accept it if I was accepting him.
Honestly, I couldn’t count the number of times that Siah had shown up at my house covered in blood, breaking down guns so that he could get rid of the pieces. Or the number of times that I’d heard him meet with Jock about setting up hits for someone who had crossed him. It was his life and I was in it, which meant that it was my life too.
I kicked off my shoes and unzipped my dress just as Siah stepped out the bathroom with a towel secured around his waist. My eyes roamed his body, but his stayed locked on mine.
“You just get here?” he asked over his shoulder after he walked over to the dresser, pulled open a drawer, and lifted a pair of grey boxer briefs. Once he had them in his hand, he let his towel hit the floor and then stepped into them.
“Yeah, how long you been here?” I asked, watching him from across the room.
“Not long. Sit down so we can talk,” he said calmly, but I could see the agitation in his expression.
I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge so that I was on one side and he was on the other.
“I apologize for fucking up your event. I know that’s important to you and it won't happen again, no matter what the circumstances.”
“It's fine, it wasn't a big deal.”
He stared at me for a moment and simply nodded before he spoke again. “You good, though?” he asked.
I shrugged but didn't answer.
“Nonie, I asked if you were good.”
“I’m fine.”
“Look, Pretty, I know that shit didn't happen the way you wanted it to, but you can't keep nursing that nigga’s feelings. He’s grown, and he’ll figure that shit out. Yeah, I get you feel bad because you cheated, but it's not like you loved that nigga or anything.”
Siah stopped abruptly like he was almost waiting for me to confirm that I didn't, and when I remained quiet, he kept going.
“So it is what it is, Nonie. Shit ain't fair sometimes, and if he can't get over that, it's on him, not on you. You can't keep trying to make shit right for something you didn't mean to do. It’s done and over with.”
He was right and I knew it, but it was still hard for me not to feel some sort of way about it. I guess a part of me still cared about Royce, but there was no point in trying to explain that to Siah. I knew I didn't love Royce, but I did care. Either way, it didn't matter anymore. What’s done is done.
“I’m about to take a shower. I have a long day tomorrow.”
I lied because I wanted to end the conversation, so I forced a smile as I stood and started toward the bathroom, but Siah stepped in front of me. Once I was still again, he placed one hand on each side of my face and pressed his lips against mine before he spoke into them.
“I’m not sorry, but I apologize for how it went down.”
His arms circled my body and he held me tight against him for a minute before he let me go and then stepped around me. I heard him leave the room while I entered the bathroom. Once I shut the door, I leaned against it for a moment to clear my head. After releasing a long frustrated sigh, I decided to let it go. Some things were out of my control, and this just happened to be one of them.
*****
“Get up and get dressed, we have something to do.”
“Siah, no. I don't have any appointments today, and it's too early to be up,” I whined and pulled the covers up over my head, which he yanked right back down to my shoulders.
