‘Of course.’ Flora lowered her eyes in deference. The Countess’s hand reached for hers.
‘Just remember, marriage is not the end of a woman’s life. In a way, it is the beginning. And as long as one provides an heir and is discreet, it can become more than enjoyable. Just look to your patron and learn. Goodnight, my dear.’ Daphne squeezed Flora’s hand and wandered off to her own suite of rooms.
It was with relief and trepidation that Flora returned to High Weald.
‘Aurelia is currently sleeping. She has not been at all well since you left,’ Arabella, returned from London, informed her as they met in the entrance hall. ‘That new maid of hers insists on feeding her all kinds of nefarious concoctions, which I am sure can’t be helping her.’
‘I have taken Sarah’s remedies since I was a baby, and I have always found them to be helpful,’ Flora replied defensively.
‘I’m sure. Now, Cissons will see you up to your room.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I don’t think Cook has prepared anything for you, Miss MacNichol, but I am sure she can rustle up some soup if necessary,’ said the housekeeper as she escorted Flora to her room.
‘I’m not hungry at present, thank you.’
Flora waited a few minutes, then walked along the corridor to Aurelia’s bedroom. She opened the door, wincing as the heavy wood creaked. The room was dark, but as her eyes adjusted to the dimness, she saw Sarah dozing in a chair by the window. Leaving the room and feeling a sudden need for fresh air, she turned tail and went downstairs.
As she stepped outside, her nose picked up the first scent of spring. Daffodils lined the verges, reminding her of Esthwaite, and as she stepped down into the walled garden, she saw with delight that it was waking up from its long winter sleep.
Thankfully, the garden was deserted, although Flora had given herself a serious talking-to on the way here and felt calm about encountering Archie. Whatever had been could never be referred to again. Not only was Archie now her brother-in-law, but soon to be the father of her niece or nephew. And Flora herself would be married within a few weeks. They were family now and could not avoid spending time together. She was determined for their relationship to be platonic, because that was all it could ever be.
And when I see him, I will say so, she told herself as she walked along the pathways. Flora could see how Archie had planned the walled garden with nectar-heavy flowers to attract as many bees as possible, and they hummed fat and contented above the pink hellebores and white viburnums. The air felt vibrant and alive, as if the garden was as pregnant as her sister. Flora only hoped she would have the chance to see it when it gave birth in the summer, to what she imagined could only be a fragrant profusion of colour.
‘Flora.’ A voice behind her made her jump.
‘Archie,’ she said as she turned to face him. ‘Why do you always seem to creep up on me?’
‘Because your attention is always focused elsewhere. I received your letter in London.’
‘Thank goodness. I was concerned it would fall into the wrong hands. I wanted to warn you in case Aurelia mentioned our . . . meeting at Esthwaite to you.’
‘Thank you. I returned yesterday and she hasn’t said anything about it so far.’
‘Then let us hope it is forgotten. She does not look well.’
‘No, she doesn’t. But you do, Flora. Shall we walk?’
Flora acquiesced and the two of them took off along the paths. As Archie talked of his future plans for the gardens, Flora had to keep reminding herself of her earlier promise, that she could and would be friends with her brother-in-law.
‘So how are you?’ Archie halted suddenly below the magnificent yew tree. Flora could see the tiny light-green stems of rebirth at the tips of the branches, and tried to shake the memory of the last time she had stood beneath it.
‘I am well. I have just been down to Selbourne to see Freddie.’
‘And all goes according to plan?’
There was a moment’s hesitation before Flora nodded, which Archie caught immediately.
‘Of all people, surely you can speak truthfully to me? Despite Freddie being labelled the catch of London, it’s simply a fiscal and physical illusion. As I am sure you will be aware by now, the real Freddie is a barking mad drunk. Personally, I think he may have fallen out of the cradle and banged his head as a baby.’
‘He is certainly . . . different, yes.’ Flora suppressed a smile.
‘What a state we all find ourselves in. Believe me, it is not just my own selfishness that makes me say this, but I wish with all my heart you were not marrying him, for your own sake.’
‘It is what it is. I do like his mother, though.’
‘It is not her you will be sharing a bed with at night. But there we are.’
‘How dare you speak to me that way!’ Flora felt a blush spreading up her neck and into her cheeks.
‘Forgive me. I cannot help myself, just the thought of you with him . . . God, Flora, you must understand how I feel, surely? I have missed you so these past few months.’
‘Do not say another word to me. I mean it.’ She turned and began to walk away, but he caught her hand before she could escape. His touch sent involuntary shivers up Flora’s spine, but she pushed them down. ‘Let me go, Archie,’ she muttered. ‘I really must return to Aurelia. Your wife.’
‘Yes, of course.’ He gave a deep sigh, then a small nod of acceptance and dropped her hand. ‘I will see you at dinner.’
Heading straight upstairs to see if Aurelia had yet woken, Sarah barred her way at the bedroom door, putting a finger to her lips.
‘She is upset today, poor mite, complaining of a bad headache. She has told me to tell you to leave her be, but I’m sure she will want you to look in on her later.’
Flora went to her room to dress for dinner, feeling horribly uncomfortable that Aurelia was denying her access. She mulled over all the times that she had sat by her bedside in the past, whenever Aurelia had been unwell, and felt a knot of worry settle in her stomach. Once she was dressed, she went down to join Arabella and Archie in the drawing room.
‘It seems your wife is indisposed again,’ Arabella murmured over her glass of sherry. ‘I do hope this phase passes soon. When I was having you, dear, I carried on as normal. Modern girls are so different.’
‘Perhaps it’s simply that people are all different, Mama,’ countered Archie. ‘I am sure that Aurelia does not wish to feel so rotten.’
‘It’s almost certainly a girl she’s having. All my contemporaries that had one were as sick as mongrel dogs during their pregnancy.’
‘Well, I for one would love a daughter,’ Archie said. ‘I am sure they are easier than boys.’
‘Easier, perhaps, but not as useful. Shall we go into the dining room?’
As the three of them sat together at the far end of the long table in the oak-panelled dining room, Flora thought how ironic it was to be facing Archie with his mother sitting in between them, conscious that she had taken her sister’s place. Just as the soup was about to be served, the door opened and Aurelia appeared.
‘Forgive me for my late arrival, but the rest has obviously done me good, for I feel much recovered.’
As Aurelia sat next to her husband and the maid hastily laid another place, Flora saw how pale she looked. Yet her blue eyes were shining with a strange intensity.
‘Are you sure you are well enough to sit up at table, my darling?’ Archie asked her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
‘Why, of course. In fact, I feel positively ravenous!’ she giggled, her tone high-pitched and false. Flora was pleased to see that Archie could not have been more attentive, even cutting up the beef for her and, to Arabella’s obvious disapproval, feeding her small morsels.
‘We mustn’t let you fade away, my darling. You really are dreadfully thin.’
‘I shall remind you of that when I am the size of a house in a few months’ time.’
As the evening progressed, and
Flora saw some colour return to her sister’s cheeks, she let herself relax.
‘So, tell me, how was your future home? From all I have heard, it is quite magnificent.’ Aurelia looked askance at her sister.
‘It is indeed. And no doubt will be a challenge to me.’
‘Marriage is a challenge we all must face.’
‘Yes.’
‘And Freddie seems so devoted to you already. That’s all a wife can ask for really, isn’t it?’ Aurelia turned to Archie and beamed at him.
Flora watched quietly as Aurelia’s untouched trifle was cleared away and Arabella suggested they move through to the drawing room for coffee.
‘Would you mind if I retired now? I am feeling so very much better, but I don’t wish to overdo it. Perhaps you would accompany me upstairs, Flora?’
‘Of course.’ Flora rose as Aurelia bade her husband goodnight and they left the room together.
Aurelia was silent on the way upstairs. Sarah bustled along the corridor towards them as Aurelia opened the door to her bedroom.
‘Shall I help you into your nightgown, Miss Aurelia?’
‘No thank you, Sarah. I am sure that Flora can help me tonight. You go to bed.’
‘Anything you need, you know where I am. Sleep well, miss.’
‘Isn’t it funny, the way she still calls me “miss”? Even though I am a married woman – and, in fact, a “lady” for some months now,’ Aurelia commented as she shut the bedroom door firmly behind them.
‘Shall I help you unbutton your gown?’
‘Thank you.’ Aurelia sat down on the stool in front of the dressing table, and Flora stood behind her, regarding her sister’s reflection in the mirror.
‘It is interesting, isn’t it, how things can be so very different from how one perceives them?’
‘How do you mean?’ Flora asked nervously as she began to undo the buttons on Aurelia’s gown.
‘For example, the fact that I was convinced you and Archie loathed the sight of each other. But then I discover that you had, in fact, spent three whole days together at Esthwaite when I was in London last summer.’
‘As I said, Archie was simply on his way down from Scotland and thought he’d call in.’ Flora forced her hands to continue, popping the buttons through one by one.
‘Yes.’ Aurelia stood up so that Flora could remove her dress from her shoulders. ‘That is what you told me a few days ago, and what I believed,’ she said, as Flora began to loosen the stays on her sister’s corset. ‘Until I began to think.’
‘About what?’
‘Oh, this and that. Pass me my nightgown, sister dear. It is chilly in here.’
Numbly, Flora picked up the silken nightgown that had been laid out on the bed and Aurelia put her arms in the air to enable the gown free passage over her body and the tiny bump that protruded from her stomach.
‘It was something that Freddie said to me on my wedding night, just after he’d announced your betrothal,’ Aurelia continued.
‘And what was that?’ Flora pulled back the covers so Aurelia could slip into bed.
‘He kissed me and wished me congratulations on my own marriage, and I returned the compliment on his forthcoming nuptials to you. He then laughed and whispered that we had both better take care of our respective husband and wife in future, as they seemed to be extremely fond of each other. I, of course, corrected him, saying he couldn’t be more wrong and that, if anything, I had worried about the fact my sister and my husband had disliked each other since they were children. “Oh, but you’re wrong,” he whispered as he led me out on the dance floor. And I was, wasn’t I, Flora?’
Two pink spots of colour had appeared high on Aurelia’s pale cheeks and her eyes glinted as she lay back on the pillows.
‘Aurelia, I hardly think so. Freddie was very drunk that night.’
‘That’s what I thought at the time, and I forgot all about it. Until I discovered Archie’s visit to the Lake District.’
‘Forgive me for not telling you about it. It was simply an oversight, I—’
‘Hardly an oversight, sister dear. When I saw you in London shortly afterwards, and questioned you on Archie’s state of mind, I asked you why you thought he hadn’t proposed. You said you had no idea, and yet you had spent three days in his company just a few weeks previously. If anyone could have known his thoughts, it would have been you.’
‘We didn’t discuss it . . . truly, all we talked of was plants—’
‘Yes!’ Aurelia gave a tight little smile. ‘A shared interest in botany. But even if his future intentions towards me were not spoken of, you must understand why it strikes me as odd that you never mentioned my husband’s visit once.’
‘Yes . . . yes, in retrospect, I do. But I had just arrived in London, and was rather overwhelmed. Forgive me, Aurelia. It truly was an oversight.’
‘Perhaps, even given what Freddie had said to me the night of my wedding, I could have continued to overlook it. Sadly, it has played on my mind. So, today, while Sarah thought I was sleeping and I knew Archie was outside in the gardens, I went to his dressing room. And look what I found, stuffed into the pocket of the coat that he’d returned from London in yesterday?’
Aurelia reached under the pillow, pulled out a letter and handed it to Flora.
‘I believe that is your writing, sister dear?’
Flora read it swiftly – it was the letter she’d written to Archie, warning him that Aurelia knew of their time together in Esthwaite.
‘That isn’t evidence of anything! I was simply worried that you might view it as such. Which is exactly what you have done.’
‘Please, don’t patronise me!’ Aurelia’s voice shook with latent fury. ‘This letter alone indicates an obvious intimacy, a relationship between the two of you, of which I had no idea. And if that wasn’t enough, as I stood reading it in the light from the bedroom window, I saw you together in the garden. Flora, my husband was holding your hand.’
‘I . . .’ Flora shook her head; she had no more words with which to defend herself. ‘Forgive me, sister dear. I can only swear to you that, even though the evidence is damning, nothing . . . untoward has ever taken place between Archie and me.’
‘And there was me believing the two of you couldn’t stand each other.’ Aurelia gave a grim chuckle. ‘Well, many a wise poet has said that there is a thin line between love and hate. It seems that stands true for the state of affairs between my husband and my sister. Good God, you must both have laughed at my stupidity!’
‘Never! All I ever wanted Archie to do was to marry you.’
‘Out of pity!’ Aurelia spat at her. Flora took a step back from the bed. ‘Perhaps, he wanted to marry you all along, but you begged him not to after you’d seen me so distraught in London. Well, sister dear? Did you arrange it with him to assuage your own guilt?’
Her words hung in the air. Flora stood, turned to stone by her sister’s venom and the truth of her words.
‘I see.’ Aurelia nodded, the first flicker of tears visible in her eyes. ‘Well, I do not thank you for it. For you have bound me to a life of misery, married to a man I love, who cannot ever love me. And now I am having his child and there is no escape for either of us. Flora, what have you done to me? And what did I ever do to you to deserve this cruelty?’ Aurelia shook her head desolately. ‘I would rather I were dead.’
Her voice broke as she began to cry. When Flora moved to comfort her, Aurelia swiped at her aggressively.
‘Please, Aurelia, I say again that I meant for none of this to happen. I would do anything rather than see you hurt. I will . . . go away, even though there is nothing between Archie and me . . .’
‘My husband was holding your hand in the garden this very afternoon!’ she hissed through her tears. ‘Don’t you dare continue to tell me lies! You treat me like a little girl when I am a married woman about to have a child of my own! And do you know the worst thing? It’s not the relationship you have had with my husband – whatever it con
sists of – it’s the fact that I have always trusted you more than any other person on this earth! I believed you loved me, that you had my best interests at heart. I’ve looked up to you since the day I was born. I have not only lost a husband – if I ever had him in the first place – but also my beloved sister.’
‘Please, Aurelia, think of your condition,’ Flora begged, seeing that she was becoming hysterical.
‘Were you thinking of my “condition” when you held my husband’s hand in the garden today?’
‘He took my hand, I could not stop him—’
‘Don’t blame him! I watched you stand there for far longer than you needed to, looking into his eyes like a lovesick girl.’
Flora turned and walked towards the stool by the dressing table, feeling she would collapse if she didn’t sit down. For a long time, a silence divided the two sisters.
‘Not for the life of me did I ever mean to hurt you, Aurelia. I take full responsibility for my disgraceful behaviour and I will never forgive myself for it.’
‘And nor should you! The question is, what on earth do I do now?’
‘I can understand your hurt and pain, but I swear to you that Archie cares for you deeply.’
‘But his true passion is for you. Perhaps we should share him, just as your patron shares the King with his long-suffering queen! Perhaps you could be his mistress, while I simply give birth to his babies, would that suit you?’
Flora stood up, her whole body trembling. ‘I will leave tomorrow morning. Even though you cannot believe me, I know that you and Archie can have a happy and successful marriage. I will tell him—’
‘You will do no such thing! At the very least, you will grant me the promise that you will never again speak to my husband or contact him in any way. If we are to have any chance of a future together, he must not know of this conversation. I will say you have been called away to London.’
‘You will not attend my wedding?’
‘No. I will say that my pregnancy has rendered me indisposed. And take scant comfort from the fact that you will almost certainly be as miserable as I, in a marriage to a man you cannot love, and who is frankly unlovable.’
The Shadow Sister Page 32
