I hear the click ending the voicemail and I throw my phone on the seat and continue to drive to Lilly’s office. For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to let your child down. I can hear it in Lilly’s voice in her message. I let both of them down. I feel like a real fucking asshole right now. I know I need to talk to her and apologize in person, I just hope she doesn’t mind me showing up unannounced. I know she’s going to be fuming and call me crazy, but I’d rather face her in person. I park and enter the building, taking the elevator to her floor. The ride up in the elevator is the worst. I know I’m so close to her and the fear of rejection fills me. I can handle her being pissed, but if she’s pissed to the point where she doesn’t want to see me, that’s going to be a problem. Once the doors open, I head toward her desk, only to find her not there.
“Well well, look at what the cat dragged in. It’s nice to see you’re alive and not dead in an alley somewhere.” I glare at Declan. If he’s giving me shit, Lilly must be pissed. I guess it’s a good thing I stopped for flowers on the way in.
“So, I take it you talked to Lilly, is she really pissed?” I want to know what I’m about to walk into so I can be prepared.
“If it was me, I’d have you by the balls. But seeing that it’s Lilly and not me, I would say she’s more worried than anything. For someone who works in a field where he puts his life in danger, you would think he would check in with his girlfriend and son. Just saying.” He turns his back to me and walks away.
“Are you going to at least tell me where to find her?” I yell out to him.
“You’re a detective, figure it out.” You can hear the attitude in his tone as he tells me that, without even turning around.
As much as I love how loyal Declan is to Lilly, I have to say being on the receiving end of his attitude isn’t a place I want to be often. I don’t even know where to begin looking for Lilly, so I stand there like a lost puppy at her desk and wait for her. If she’s pissed off at me, I don’t need to make it worse by accidently walking in on a meeting she may be in. I go to take the seat that sits opposite of her desk, when I hear Declan’s voice from behind.
“I wouldn’t get comfortable if I were you,” he chuckles, like he knows something I don’t.
I turn around, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Not why, who.” He’s pointing in the other direction, so I turn my head and I see a very pissed off looking Joe heading my way. Fuck.
“You, come with me,” he orders as he storms right past me into his office. I look over to Declan and he has a shit eating grin on his face.
“You’d better hurry. Boss man doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing he isn’t my boss, huh?” I get up and make my way into Joe’s office.
“Close the door and sit,” he says, shuffling papers on his desk as he’s barking orders at me, pissing me off.
“Look, I know Lilly is family and you care about her, but I am not your employee and it would be nice if you would show me a little respect,” I say as I close the door. If this was anyone else, this would play out entirely different. But it’s not, and I love Lilly, so I’m not looking to rock the family boat, so to speak.
“Listen, I have no problem handing it out where it is due. What I do have a problem with is calling and hearing my nephew crying in the background because his daddy forgot about him. That, in my book, does not earn one’s respect. So you better have a damn good excuse as to why you forgot about your son.” I know he is right, but I refuse to show weakness in front of him, so I keep my posture firm in place and nod. He can take the nod however he wants, but bottom line is right now I don’t give a shit what he thinks. This is taking time away from me finding Lilly.
“I have no excuse. Not one that is even close to making it okay. But with all due respect, this is between Lilly and me, so if you’ll excuse me,” I get up and head to the door.
“What’s in it for you?” I stop walking and turn around staring him in the eyes.
“Come again?” I’m not sure what he means by his question or where he is going with it.
“What do you get out of all this? I only ask, because if you aren’t in it for the long haul, you need to walk away. They have gotten by for three years on their own, and in those three years, I have never heard the disappointment in their voices that I heard last night. So I’ll ask you again, what’s in it for you? What do you get out of all this?”
Although I feel like I don’t owe him a Goddamn thing, I answer him anyway. “I get a family. My family. I get the woman that I fell in love with in one night and made the mistake of letting walk out of my life. I get a child, an amazing son that I get to watch grow up and help teach him right from wrong. I would be lying if I said that being a father doesn’t scare the shit out of me. But for some reason, some off twist of fate, the universe brought those two back into my life. I may not be perfect and lord knows I’ll make mistakes, but they are mine to make and mine to fix. I will work my ass off every day to make up for any hurt or pain that comes their way.” I calm my breathing, not realizing how worked up that simple question got me and let out a sigh. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need to go find Lilly.”
“Lucky for you, you don’t have to look far.” His eyes travel past me as a huge grin appears on his face. I turn around to see Lilly standing behind me in the doorway with Declan by her side and I’m pretty sure I closed that door.
“How long have you been standing there?” I’m not sure of how much she heard but I hope it was all of it.
“I saw you walk in and so I followed you in here.” She’s looking everywhere but at me.
“And I followed her, because let’s face it, I’m a nosey son of a bitch,” Declan chimes in, causing Joe to laugh.
“Declan, let’s give these two some privacy. It seems they have some stuff to work out.” Joe get’s up, walking out of his office.
“Why give them privacy now?” Joe pulls him away by his arm, closing the door behind him. I look over to Lilly and for the first time I can’t read her and it scares the shit out of me. I have no idea what is going on in her head right now and she isn’t giving anything away. Her face is expressionless and I wish she would just say something.
Chapter 25
Lilly
I won’t lie. I saw Silas before Joe called him into his office. While I was deciding what to say to him, Joe stormed past me and brought him into his office. I was grateful for the few extra minutes he and Declan were providing me, whether they were doing it on purpose or not. I was also grateful that I had a loving brother-in-law to rip into Silas, because let’s face it, he deserves it. I quickly followed and opened the door, hoping to get a front row seat to the show. I’m surprised Silas didn’t hear it opening.
I sit in Joe’s chair and Silas sits in the seat he was just occupying. “So, did you mean all that?”
“Every word. Look I’m --” I hold my hands up, cutting him off before he can start apologizing. I want, no need, him to know what it is he is apologizing for.
“Before you apologize, let me speak.” He nods so I continue, “Three years. That’s how long I have kept my son guarded from any hurt and pain I could possibly prevent. And it only took one day for you to break that. I have never lied to my son in my life and you put me in that very position last night. He is just a boy, Silas. You can’t go making him promises, especially if you don’t plan on keeping them. I have never felt like a horrible mom until last night. I had no idea how to handle that situation, and I’ve never had to be responsible for another person’s actions when it comes it Ezra. I was so worried and afraid that something might have happened to you on the job. All I needed was one phone call or one text message from you letting me know you were okay. So, please tell me, what was so important that you couldn’t be bothered to show up to plan our son’s birthday party or call to say you couldn’t make it.” I cross my arms and wait for him to answer as he just sits there with a blank stare on his fa
ce. “Silas!” I snap, making sure I still have his attention.
“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were done. Look, no words can describe how sorry I am. If it makes you feel any better, I feel like complete shit. I let you down, and more importantly, I let our son down. I swear it won’t happen ever again. I don’t want to be a disappointment in your lives.” He still didn’t answer what I need to know.
“That still doesn’t answer my question, where were you?”
His head drops and lets out a sigh. The way his body posture sinks tells me I’m not going to like his answer, “I was with Kristin.” I feel like a fifty-pound weight has been smashed down on my heart. Never did I think for a second that he would have been with her. I sit back in the chair and rest my head against it closing my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. I feel his hand grab a hold of mine, “Look at me.” I open my eyes and am met with his. “I know where your mind is going and I’m going to tell you right now, that it’s not what you think at all.”
“And what am I thinking it is?” I challenge, since apparently now he is a mind reader as well.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” he assures me.
“I never said you did,” I begin, but he cuts me off quickly.
“No, but you were thinking it. Listen, Kristin called me and asked if I would mind picking up her prescription from the pharmacy. Her mom was going to get it but got held up and couldn’t make it there in time. She asked if I could go before it closed and what was I going to do? Say no? When I got there she looked awful. She could barely keep her head out of the toilet for more than five minutes before vomiting again. I asked if she had eaten anything that day and she said no. I couldn’t just leave her, especially since I helped put her in this situation.” Oh, how chivalrous I think to myself. “So I went to the store, bought her some soup and crackers and got her to eat something. She said she was going to lie down and rest, so I wanted to stay to make sure she got to bed okay and didn’t need anything else. I must have passed out from exhaustion, because the next thing I knew she was waking me up in the morning. The first thing I did was look for my phone. It must have fell out of my pocket when I was sleeping because it was in the cushions, dead.” Silas sits on Joe’s desk in front of me, stretching out his legs.
“Believe me, when I woke up the first thing running through my mind was you and Ezra. I went straight home and showered and I was going to call you, but figured it would be best to just come straight here. Well, I did make a stop on the way.” He walks over to the empty chair, picking up the flowers that were sitting on the seat. “Here, these are for you. They don’t make up for not being there yesterday, but my mother always told me if you need to apologize to a woman, you better bring her flowers.”
Taking the flowers from him, I smell them quick before placing them on the desk. “I appreciate you being honest with me. And I understand you being there for Kristin. Take it from someone who’s done the whole pregnancy thing alone. It’s nice to have someone there to help you when you need it. I don’t mind you being there for her, Silas. I actually encourage you to be there for her. All I ask is that you please don’t forget about us in the process. I don’t want Ezra to feel like he is being replaced by your new baby when he is just getting to know you.” I’m pulling on the end of my skirt and I nervously pull my lip into my mouth. I don’t want him to think I’m selfish, but at the same time, I have to protect Ezra. A mother’s number-one job is to protect her child and I will do it until the day I die.
“I will never replace him. He is my first-born child and I have three years of making up to do. I’m going to smother the shit out of the two of you. So much in fact you will be begging me to pick up more hours at work just to get rid of me.” He hovers over me, pulls me out of my chair and into his chest.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m about to take you out of here and give you a little preview of just how much I’m going to smother you. Do you think Joe will let you leave early? I have plans for you that involve endless hours of those legs wrapped around me,” he growls in my ear.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I pull away from his embrace and he narrows his eyes at my reaction.
“You’re still pissed,” he doesn’t let go of my hand.
“Yes, Silas, I’m still pissed. I had a long night of consoling a little boy who couldn’t understand why his daddy didn’t show up. I’m tired and I have a lot of work to get done before my signing tomorrow,” I fire back as I walk away from him and back to my desk.
“Okay. Should I still expect you around eight?”
“Megan is going to take Ezra tomorrow. I think it’s better she keeps him for the day, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind you dropping in to see him if you have the time,” I don’t look up from my desk as I tell him about the change of plans.
“Right, well I guess I’ll get with her about that, then.” His tone is clipped , and frankly, right now I couldn’t give a shit if he’s pissed off.
My phone rings and I look up at him, “I need to take this. Can I call you later?”
“Sure,” he leaves the office without giving me a kiss goodbye.
Chapter 26
Silas
Lilly’s signing has come and gone and I have to say, it still pisses me off that she made other arrangements for Ezra that day. I mess up once and she punishes me for it. I understand I let her down, but I figured she would understand once I explained what happened. I guess not. If she wants to be pissed, fine, but she shouldn’t use my son against me as a fucking punishment.
Making plans with Megan was easy and I think I like her a little more the more time I’m around her. Yeah, she gave me a tongue lashing when I went to her house, but she said I was allowed one slip up. She also warned me if I do it again, she will castrate me, and the scary thing is, I believe she would actually do it. We took Ezra to the water park with Lucas and his kids. They had a great time but wore me out. Lucas told me I need to get used to it because when Kristin has her baby and the two kids are together, they will tag team me until I collapse.
I’m meeting Lilly today to order the cake for Ezra’s birthday party. I can’t believe in two days my son will be three. I would say ‘where has the time gone,’ but sadly, I already know the answer to that question. Walking into the bakery, I look around and can’t believe these cakes. They are two-tier, some even three-tier cakes that look like they should be feeding a small army.
“Can I help you?” A lady emerges from the back of the bakery.
“Yes, my girlfriend and I are here to order our son’s cake for Saturday,” I look around for Lilly. “I see she isn’t here yet, so maybe we should wait.”
“That’s no problem at all, what is the last name on the order so I can pull up the paperwork while we wait?”
“Harper, er um, actually I think it might be under Hughes.” I feel like an idiot, I don’t even know what name Ezra’s cake is under. She fiddles through the papers and pulls one out.
“Ah-ha, here we go. It’s under Hughes.” I think to myself, of course it is. It hasn’t hit me until now that Ezra doesn’t share my last name. That’s something I’m going to have to talk to Lilly about. I would like my son to share the same name as me. The bell above the door rings and I turn to see Lilly sprinting through the door. Her hair is a disheveled mess and she is lifting her sunglasses on top of her head. She doesn’t have any makeup on, but she doesn’t need it. She looks beautiful. I can feel my cheeks rising as I grin at her and pull her into me, kissing the crook of her neck.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Ezra decided today would be a great day to hide my keys and my phone. I would have called you but I still don’t know where my phone is. I figured my keys were the most important to find if I was ever going to make it here in time,” she says as she smiles at me apologetically.
“No problem. Now that you’re here, shall we get started?” the baker asks. “I have on the order form that you wanted to do a Disney Cars theme. Are we
still sticking with that?” I look to Lilly. I have no idea what Ezra wanted because I wasn’t there when they discussed it at The Bounce House. I stay quiet, not wanting to bring that argument up again.
“Yes. His favorite is Lightning McQueen,” Lilly informs her.
“Perfect. I have some cakes here that I have done before, but I can do something new and original for you if you’d like.” We flip through the pages of the cakes and I still can’t get over the size of these things.
“These cakes seem huge,” I say to no one in particular as we keep flipping through.
“That’s the biggest part of the birthday party, the cake. It’s what Ezra looks forward to the most whenever attending other parties,” Lilly tells me. If my kid wants a big cake, then by God, he’s going to get a big cake.
“Do you see any cakes you liked?” the baker questions.
“I like this one.” I point out the one I like and Lilly smiles.
“That’s the one I was going to pick.” Lilly looks shocked like it’s crazy we picked the same cake.
“I know, just another reason why we are the perfect fit for each other.” I place a kiss on the top of her nose.
We give the baker the cake flavors and decide to grab some lunch before returning back to my place for the evening. Megan has offered to take Ezra and Lucas’s kids for the night, so we all can have a date night. Kim wanted to double, but I insisted that Lilly and I have some alone time. I have wanted to get those legs wrapped around me since that day in her office. Even though I was pissed that she changed the plans on me, seeing her angry was smoking hot and I have been dying to get her alone.
Once we get back to my place, Lilly tosses her purse on the couch and is about to take off her heels. I lift her up over my shoulder and head toward the bedroom.
Twist of Fate Page 14
