She hummed in her throat. “You used your thumb.”
“I did, and you liked it, didn't you?” His fingers traced the curve of her breast, enjoying the softness, the dewiness of sweat slicking her skin. “Begged me for more if I recall correctly, then took your first plug like a champ.” He chuckled when her eyes opened to slits, and her blush deepened. “I have to wonder what would have happened if we'd spun anal that night. I would've taken great delight in taking your anal virginity in front of all those people, hearing you beg and plead for me to fuck you harder...”
Her moan was almost orgasmic this time.
“Nothing's changed but the crowd, Ava. My promise still stands—I might hurt you, but I'd never harm you. I want you to sing for me, little dove.” Lowering his head, he ran his tongue from her sternum up to the hollow of her throat. “Will you sing for me?”
“Y-Yes, Sir.”
“No, no more Sir. Not tonight.” He nipped at her throat. “One last thing I need to ask, Ava, and it's your decision.”
Her tone grew wary. “Okay.”
“Condom or bareback?” Her scent was strongest right here. Finn couldn't help nuzzling his nose into her, breathing deep to drown in it. In his world, where cattle and leather smelled like home, Ava's fragrance was fresh and clean. She'd used his shower gel, which suited her, but he could smell the sweetness of her beneath, like blueberries and vanilla.
Her laugh was startled, and when he lifted his head, she was blinking at him as though she couldn't quite grasp the question or suss out the ramifications. “I just assumed...won't it be...hmmm.”
“We're both clean,” he reminded her. “You're on the pill, although that won't matter too much in this instance.”
She worried her lip. Looked everywhere but at him. Sighed.
Her repertoire of nervousness was adorable.
“Okay,” she said after a minute of internal deliberation. Her lips tightened together, then twitched into a sly smile he found wholly arousing. “But I'm not sleeping in the wet spot.”
“There she is. I knew you were hiding her away somewhere.” Finn grinned down at her, kissing her hard. “Keep hold of her; you're going to need her, little dove.” Pleased her confidence had made an appearance, he pushed away from the bed. “Scoot back into the middle of the bed. On your back, Ava,” he told her as she started to roll onto her hands and knees. “I think I want to watch those blue eyes go wide.”
“I think you might actually be a sadist,” she muttered, inching her way further up the covers. Those blue eyes were already huge, much to his delight, and he caught the distinct scent of feminine arousal on the air. Perfect.
“Time will tell,” he teased, and popped the button on his jeans, dragged down the zipper to release his straining cock. Her expression turned hungry with only the faintest flicker of trepidation. He shoved the denim down, kicked it away, then grabbed the small tube of lube he kept solely for anal and squeezed some onto his palm. With gritted teeth, he stroked himself for a moment, making sure his shaft was covered. His erection didn't need any encouragement. “This isn't a scene, Ava, but your safe words still stand if you need them.”
He heard her throat click on a swallow. “I won't.”
Finn stepped forward and tossed the condom on the floor. He'd dreamed of taking her bareback, finally feeling her heat without latex between them. His cock throbbed impatiently, damn near painfully. Ignoring it, he grabbed the pillow and urged her to lift her hips, propping the thick padding under her. Long, lean legs fell open; he crawled between them and set his mouth to work on the banquet laid out before him.
“Oh fuck!”
Her legs tried to clamp around his head, but the sheer width of his shoulders prevented her. Chuckling, he licked her from top to bottom, then dove in, eating her out with the fervor of a starving man. Her hips bucked, twisted as savagely as a bronc in the arena, fighting the grip of his hands as he pinned her down.
The belting, the plug, the verbal foreplay had her on the verge of orgasm in record time.
His mouth pushed her over the edge.
As the initial spasms flickered around his tongue, Finn worked quickly. His fingers grasped the base of the plug, tugging on it until the widest part stretched the delicate muscles. Thrusting it back in. When Ava's hands found his head, her nails digging into his scalp and her body arching helplessly, he removed it completely, tossing it aside. Before her cry of release died away, he levered himself over her, braced on one arm as he grasped his cock behind the crown and guided it home.
Slightly wider in girth than the plug, there was a touch of resistance working against him before the head breached her and silken heat swallowed him whole. His groan was one of utter satisfaction. He held still, letting Ava's rocking hips work her onto his length.
He knew the exact moment she realized he was inside her. Panting breaths turned to low, pained mewls, and those big beautiful eyes were definitely wide and dazed. The climactic roll of her hips stopped, and she held herself frozen in place beneath him.
“Holy shit,” she whispered.
“You okay?”
“Fuck, you're so big. How can you feel bigger than you usually do?” Her head bowed back with a throaty moan, presenting her throat and the pulse beating rapidly beneath her flushed skin. “I don't think my ass is ready for this.”
Finn altered his position, settling his weight lightly on top of her and caging her between his arms. The shift pressed him a little deeper and they moaned in sync. “The worst part is over, I promise. Just take a deep breath and relax. Christ, you're perfect.”
“I think I'll stand by my baseball bat reference,” she muttered and made him laugh, then her tone became almost reverent. “God, the burn is...it's better than cutting.”
The briefest scowl furrowed his brow before he willed it away. He fucking hated it when she mentioned anything about cutting herself. Even though it had started a long time before he met her that fateful night at the club, it had also come damn close to stealing her away from him before then. It still had the power, if left unchecked, to take her away from him now—he knew how quickly a body could drain of blood, bigger bodies than the slight form beginning to wiggle restlessly beneath his, and it terrified him that one day, a wrong cut could end her life.
No, he wasn't going down that line of thinking, he told himself with an inner snarl. Not when she was tight and hot around his cock, her breasts cushioning his chest. Her heart pounded just inches from his, proving how very alive she was. If anal sex mimicked the pain she achieved through self-harm, it wouldn't be a hardship to give it to her every goddamn night.
His hips flexed, easing more of his shaft deeper into velvet heat. Ava's breath caught, but she didn't offer a protest. Her hands gripped his waist, her fingers gouging into his skin. Slowly, carefully, ever aware of his size compared to hers, Finn ground his teeth and thrust gently until she sheathed him completely in little ripples and tremors that danced along his shaft.
She was simply...divine.
“You okay?” he asked again as the faintest whimper echoed in her throat.
“Oh yeah, I'm...I don't quite know what I was so worried about,” she admitted with a tremulous laugh. She lifted her hand from his side, brought it to his cheek. “I'm glad it's you. I want everything to be with you.”
Desire, frustration, love became a tempest inside him. Part of him wished he'd found her before her past ever got its hooks into her, that he'd known her long before the screw-ups of his own life. But she was so fucking young compared to him. The difference in years between them didn't change his heart, it sure as hell hadn't influenced her choice to be with him, and if truth be told, their pasts had brought them to this place in time.
It infuriated him to think one tiny change in either of their lives could have sent them on a different path.
“I think it's always been you,” he told her, then claimed her mouth with a savagery he couldn't bring to heel. Teeth clashed, breath mingled. The sweetness she
exuded held no power over his need to mark his territory. Because she was his. Every supple inch of her body belonged to him, and he'd make damn sure she knew it by the end of the night.
When her other hand framed his face, his tenuous control snapped. He snatched her hands in his, one at a time, linking his fingers through hers before slamming them to the bed beside her head. A shiver ran through her, that lush mouth dropping open as he lifted his head and broke the kiss. “It's always been you, Ava. It will never be anyone but you.”
Muscles strained and bunched as he started to move. One slow withdrawal, a testing slide home. Her moan of acceptance was all he needed. Casting the last of the chains from his restraint, the time for slow and steady was over. Flesh clapped against flesh, body yielded to body.
Man consumed woman.
Her fingers flexed convulsively in his, gripping him tight as he ripped her world in two. Pumping hips met his stroke for stroke, falling away as quickly as they rose. With him every step of the way.
Stabs of tingling pain built at the base of his spine, tightened his balls. Baring his teeth against impending orgasm, Finn hammered inside her, determined he wouldn't come alone. Over the roar of his pulse, her cries filled the room and spiked his blood. He thanked every god in existence for their generosity, grinding deep and holding still as her body stiffened beneath him then erupted in a flurry of spasms.
Every spurt of cum from his cock felt like the sear of a brand on his heart.
Cursing breathlessly, Finn managed to roll away from her before he collapsed on top of her. Thoroughly winded by more than just the sex, he took a moment to gather his senses before he stepped back into his role as her lover. He was smugly pleased to see she looked as shell-shocked as he felt, and just as satisfied.
His hands were gentle, stroking over her skin as he checked for any bruises he might have carelessly caused, his eyes intent on her face. Big blue eyes closed, her lips parted a fraction as she gulped in air, and her cheeks blossoming with color...she was quite simply the most stunning creature he'd ever seen.
He skimmed over her flat tummy, pausing a moment as his brain short-circuited and envisioned her lying here, just like this, with her belly rounded and full of their baby. A child created between the two of them. A pang of longing hit him, wishing it wasn't just his imagination, hoping fervently it was meant to be part of his future, his legacy.
Their legacy in this crazy world.
He wondered how much she would freak if he suggested it.
Too soon, Romeo. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby. Try not to send the love of your life screaming all the way back to the city. He rubbed his chin as the wise half of his brain berated him. There are bigger, more important issues to deal with before we tackle extending the family.
Well, maybe that was true, but it didn't stop the wanting. Besides, she was considerably younger than he was, and perhaps having a baby at this point in her life wasn't what she was ready for. Just because he felt the pressure from his biological clock ticking down and his need to be an active father didn't mean he could project that urgency onto Ava. That was unfair to both of them.
He shifted quietly, kneeling between her splayed legs and quietly urging her to spread them wider with his palms pressed to the insides of her trembling thighs. Greeted by a swollen, weeping pussy, he dismissed the temptation to ride her again, no matter how much of a delight it would be. His job now was to tend, and he had every intention of lavishing her with attention.
If he'd learned anything from his time with her, it was that Ava was a cuddler.
She'd take anything he threw at her, from a wicked flogging to a hard fuck, if she got the aftercare to match.
“What are you doing down there?”
Finn glanced up, smiling at the bewildered look on her face as she tried to keep her head up long enough to meet his eyes. “Admiring the view, little dove. You look so pretty with my cum—”
Ava grimaced and let her head drop back against the covers. “Please don't finish that sentence.” Her voice sounded suspiciously tight, a dead giveaway to her state of mind. As the adrenaline rush faded, doubts and insecurities flooded back in. She'd need to cry it out, as was her way, and he refused to let her do it alone.
Rubbing her thigh, he checked her over quickly, determined there was no blood or bruising he needed to worry over. “Any pain, little dove?”
“No.” Her voice grew smaller.
“Did you hate it?”
“No.” Barely a whisper this time, a little choked.
Stubborn little sub, he thought in exasperation. She should know he wouldn't tolerate her trying to hide herself away after the night they'd had. No doubt she thought she could hold onto the rising tide of emotion long enough for him to leave the room for a few moments so she could cry in private. She really did love aftercare, she just hated the vulnerability that came with releasing the torrent of feelings that came with it.
Finn pressed his lips to the inside of her knee. “I'll be back in a minute, darlin'.”
He climbed off the bed and headed for the bathroom. He hadn't even crossed the threshold when he heard her choke on a sob. Shaking his head, he switched the lights on and bypassed the shower. He pressed the plug into the bottom of the huge bath, set the water running, then added a hefty dollop of Ava's bubble stuff.
Blueberry and vanilla were becoming his favorite fragrance.
Leaving the bath to fill, he steeled himself against what he was going to find when he stepped back into the bedroom. When Ava cried, she cried herself hoarse. There was an incredibly passionate woman trapped inside her, one she was sometimes reluctant to let loose. He didn't know if it was her upbringing that made her that way, or the fear of being judged. A little of both, perhaps.
So far, she'd divulged little of her past, her childhood. He knew her father was an alcoholic. Everything Finn needed to know about the man had been summed up in that one description. He'd read the abuse, the horror, on Ava's face when she blurted it out, but since then, she'd remained firmly zipped on the subject of her family.
Something else that’s about to change, he thought sourly as he stepped out of the bathroom and found his expectations met. He'd already surmised that her father was the root of several of Ava's problems, including her severe aversion to dirty talk and the fucking self-harm. It was about time someone felled the fucking tree and dug those roots out of the ground.
“Started without me, huh?” he said easily, approaching the bed and the tiny figure curled up in the middle, sobbing quietly into her hand. She flinched at the sound of his voice, something else he wouldn't stand for, but her arms lifted, reaching for him. “Come on, my beautiful little girl. I've got you now. I've got you.”
She was pathetically easy to haul into his arms. Although she'd gained some weight in the weeks she'd been on the ranch, Ava still wasn't what Finn would call healthy. Riding and helping out with chores had given her the bonus of fledgling muscles, but she was still incredibly lean. He didn't approve of her bones protruding beneath her skin, hated to think she could be causing harm to her body by burning off energy she didn't have.
There wasn't a hint of a protest from her lips as he hitched her into his favorite position for carrying her. Perched on his hip with his arm supporting her pert butt, his free hand rubbing her back gently, Finn found his peace. Before Ava came into his life, he'd never seen himself as a Daddy. Hadn't thought there would be any satisfaction in babying a woman who needed that particular brand of care. But with Ava...though she wasn't technically a Little, not that she would admit, there was a piece of her desperate to be coddled, nurtured, cherished.
Imagine his surprise when he discovered he had the patience to cover all her bases. Balancing pain and pleasure in one hand, affection and reassurance in the other. Guiding her through this journey hadn't just expanded Ava's horizons; it had opened his eyes to a world where his partner's happiness didn't come down to just compatibility between the sheets, but to
the whole fucking caboodle of day to day life.
He often knew her mood before she opened her eyes in the morning, good or bad. He was quickly learning the signs she tried valiantly to hide when the voices in her head spoke to her, telling her to do bad things to herself. Whispering suicidal thoughts in her ear, he thought in disgust. She'd never tell him what they said, those goddamn harbingers of death, but she didn't need to. More often than not, she told him in her sleep.
Banishing that for another time, Finn carried her into the steamy bathroom. The curve of his shoulder was a sticky mess, her tears tickling his skin, but he was no stranger to bodily fluids. There were nights when he returned from the calving sheds looking—and smelling—like he'd emerged from a cow's birth canal rather than pulling a living creature out of it. “Rough night, little dove?”
Ava cried harder, her fingers kneading his shoulders for comfort. Good, that was what he wanted from her. They were going to wring every last tear from her, purging the chaos of her emotions before he kissed her hurts, fed her, and tucked her exhausted body into bed for some much-needed rest.
It took a bit of effort to peel her away from him so he could set her down and check the water temperature—even with her hand firmly in his, all she wanted to do was crawl back into him. Finn turned the taps off and flicked his fingers through the mountain of bubbles rising above the lip of the tub. If he wasn't careful, he'd lose her in them. Maybe he'd used more of the damn goop than he should have.
“In you get, darlin'. Careful now, it's not too hot, but it's gonna smart for a few seconds.” He guided her in, keeping tight hold of her hand and supporting her shaking body with an arm around her waist. “That's my girl. Down you go, good girl.”
Water sloshed as Ava's yelp bounced off the tiles, then she moaned and hiccupped sadly. Obviously, he’d opened up a wound inside her she couldn’t close fast enough to stop the shit from leaking out, Finn thought, stepping in behind her and sliding into the frothy nightmare. A good spanking worked wonders at releasing pent-up emotions in recalcitrant subs, and she was a stubborn little minx.
Black Light: Branded Page 7
