“Ava, you can't—”
“Why not?” she challenged, panting. God, she was making a complete ass of herself, but she couldn't stop. It seemed imperative that she at least try. “Is it going to hurt it?”
“No, but I'm afraid of how much it's going to hurt you when it doesn't work.”
She stopped bouncing on the tiny chest and cupped her hands around the delicate nose, breathing hard. It was so small. She breathed twice more, then continued compressions. She could feel the soft ribs beneath her palms, imagined the little heart just waiting to beat. “I'm going to pay for this later, aren't I?”
Finn said nothing, just moved to stand beside her as she desperately willed for a miracle. “No, darlin'. I'm not punishing hope, not when you need it so badly. I figure anyone who has the balls to give a calf mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when...” he trailed off slowly, then nudged her out of the way.
Ava gaped at him as he grabbed the calf's rear legs and lifted it upside down, using his other arm to support its shoulders. He began to swing it from side to side, bracing his legs hip-width apart. The head jerked loosely, and she instinctively tried to object to whatever he was doing, but then she heard a soft, beautiful snuffle. So faint, she thought she'd dreamed it, until it happened again.
Finn laid it back down gently, his fingers pushing into the calf's mouth, then its nose and scooping out gunk. “I'll be damned. Use your hands and start rubbing it over, darlin'. You got yourself a live one.”
She squealed. High and loud. Diving forward, she followed Finn's directions and began stimulating the small body. The chest she'd bounced on jumped with hard breaths, then the calf sneezed. Soft brown eyes blinked as though wondering where the hell it was. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Finn chuckled and shook his head. “Don't thank me, Ava. This is your doing, not mine. Keep rubbing. I'll go find something to dry it off with. Sure as hell didn't think you were gonna pull that off,” he muttered as he gathered the stuff he'd brought from his first trip to the truck and walked away. “Ash won't believe me when I tell him.”
Grinning like an idiot, Ava sat beside the calf and continued to run her hands over it. She couldn't understand why Fin thought it was dry; the body was damp. The front end was slick and sticky with lube. “But we'll clean that all up, won't we, baby? We'll get you all clean and dry, and then...” Hell, what came next? Food, right? “I guess we need to find you some milk. Lots and lots of milk so you grow up big and strong and make your mom proud.”
Ava looked over at the heifer. She didn't know what happened to the dead cattle, didn't really want to ask, but she wondered if she could persuade Finn to bury her. They could pick a nice spot under a tree or something, and maybe put a stone on top. It wasn't much, but it was a gesture.
She was humming happily to the calf when Finn came back. She helped him spray the calf's umbilical cord to keep it from getting infected after being born on the dirty floor, then busied herself drying the calf with the towels he'd found in the truck. There was a sense of pride when she lifted the slender black tail and identified the calf as a heifer. Finn's approval was just as heady.
“Found some colostrum and milk powder in one of the outbuildings,” Finn told her as she fussed over her baby. “Enough for a few days. We'll have to get some more when we go into town. I think we should load up and head back.”
“But what about everything here? Don't we need to stay and sort things out?”
“Ash is on his way with a new crew. They'll get things put to rights and do a head count over the next few days. The chopper should be here soon to give them a hand.” Finn lifted her to her feet. “You need to go get a drink, one of those sandwiches and some cookies. You're damn near asleep on your feet again.”
“But we need to find Thomas and make him pay for this. All this. You need to be here, you're the boss.”
“I am, and I promised you I'd cut my hours back. I'm delegating, Ava. Ash is capable of dealing with this today. There's going to be enough work to last for weeks, don't you worry. There's a shitload of paperwork to go through, tag numbers to trace and match with records. Right now, I'm more concerned with getting you and your orphan home. She needs feeding, and she's your responsibility now.”
“Mine? But I thought you'd just ask another cow to take her.” That's what happened when a calf lost its mother, she thought in bewilderment.
He tipped her chin up. “I was gonna get you a puppy, but I figured you might like a calf instead. She's only here because of you, darlin'. You found her mother, you tried to save her. That didn't work, but you didn't give up on that baby, did you? You dug your heels in and gave her the breath in your lungs. She's yours if you want her.”
Ava swallowed hard. Her throat was suspiciously tight again as she voiced her deepest fear. “She's not going to get fattened up and sent to slaughter?”
“No, little dove. She's too special for that. We can even get her a collar, like the one I intend to slip around your neck the first chance I get.” He kissed her sweetly.
Her heartbeat made an odd throbbing noise in her ears, like it wanted to burst out of her chest.
A collar was on the same level of importance as her Stetson. It meant he wanted her, wanted both parts of her. The submissive side of her she hadn't acknowledged fully until the night at Black Light, and this side of her, the piece of herself she was beginning to like. Her lips were still touching his when she whispered, “You want to collar me?”
“Little dove, I want to marry you, collar you, have babies with you,” he murmured. “I want everything with you.” He lifted his head and smiled ruefully as the throbbing noise grew louder. “That's the first wave of support arriving, darlin'. I'm gonna go give them their orders and then we should be ready to go. Stay here until the chopper either cuts its engine or it takes off again. The rotors kick some shit up and I don't want you hurt.”
She nodded dazedly and rubbed her hand over her heart as he jogged away to go meet his crew. She felt like an idiot, mistaking the womp-womp-womp of the incoming helicopter for her pulse. Beyond the gate, she could see dust starting to fly and the way the rising wind off the blades buffeted Finn's big frame around.
His admission of wanting children with her shook her up. Rings and collars were something she'd only dreamed of, yet he spoke of both with such ease. Finn was a man who knew what he wanted and, inevitably, attained it. She wasn't the least bit unhappy at being what he wanted, as long as she could be what he needed.
Motherhood scared her, she was woman enough to admit that to herself. She'd seen enough TV shows to have some idea of what a woman's body went through during the gestation part of pregnancy, and she didn't think she'd mind being big and round and clumsy, not if it was Finn's baby she carried. Labor was, obviously, slightly concerning, especially now she'd seen the birthing process firsthand on a few occasions.
And what if, after a few years, Finn decided Ava wasn't what he wanted in his life anymore? Life changed, people changed. She remembered kids in high school whose parents were the most loving, the most doting, yet they were so fucking unhappy and just waiting for their kids to finish school so they could get a divorce and go their separate ways.
She hadn't lived through that, not personally. But she didn't want her child to go through it either. If her relationship with Finn went south with a kid involved...he would annihilate her for custody rights. Though she couldn't imagine the man she loved being cruel, she could envision him fighting for his heir, and he would wipe the floor with her.
He had the money, the contacts, the security to take her child from her if this life they were building together dissolved into bitter ashes.
Not going to think like that. There's so much to do before we bring a baby into the world, and who knows what will happen in the next few months? Making plans is all well and good, but God has a way of making us look like fools. One day at a time, Ava. Don't overthink events that aren't even on the horizon yet.
No, she wasn't g
oing to think like that. She had a beautiful baby calf to look after now, a living being reliant on Ava to feed and look after her. If Ava could handle an orphan cow, she might just be able to start thinking about babies of the two-legged variety without wanting to hide under a rock.
She turned back to the calf, frowning as tiny hooves scraped and slid over the concrete in an effort to stand. “Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. If you fall over in here, you'll hurt yourself.” Flustered, Ava tried to grab the calf several times, unsure how to hold her safely and securely. Thinking how Finn often held her, she hooked her left arm around the calf's skinny chest and looped her right one over the back to hook under the soft tummy. As the calf attempted to rise again, Ava squeaked and lifted, taking the weight as she struggled to help her charge balance. “That's it, stay on your feet. If you go down, so do I.”
Long lashes blinked over wide brown eyes, sucking Ava's heart in and capturing it. The little tongue, which had been so purple and distended, flicked out in a quick pink flash to touch the dark rubbery nose. The head was black with a big silver splash across the forehead, still slick with the last remnants of lube Ava hadn't quite managed to scrub off.
Ava giggled. “Maybe I should call you Lubey-Lou.”
The barn roof bowed with a metallic plunk that sounded like a gunshot. Ava winced, hunching over the calf protectively as she heard debris pinging against the wooden walls, kicked up by the chopper's approach. She didn't have a clue where it was landing, but she prayed fervently that Finn was being sensible and taking cover until the damn thing touched down. She squeezed her eyes shut against the noise, unable to hold the calf and cover her ears at the same time.
The calf bawled; Ava pulled her in closer, using her thighs to brace her. “It's okay. It's okay, I've got you, little one.” God, she sounded like Finn. She tried to keep the tremor out of her voice even as she wondered if the calf could hear her over the almighty racket from outside. “Just a few minutes, baby, and it will go away.”
Please, please, go away.
* * *
Finn
Finn held onto his hat as the chopper circled the buildings. In his head, he played through the processes the pilot needed to do in order to set the bird down and was gratified to see the chopper respond as though Finn actually directed its movements. It lowered gracefully behind the barns, in the flat pasture kept empty for that purpose. As it descended, Finn took a short cut between the barns, cutting through the narrow gaps left between each building, and waited at the other end for the engines to wind down.
The blades slowed, the noise lessening to a pulsing hum, and the passenger door opened. He watched with surprise as Ash tossed a pair of headphones onto his seat, then hopped out and shut the door behind him, ducking low and running across the pasture. “Who did you evict to get the faster ride?”
Ash grinned and shot a glance at the shiny black bird with Finn's initials emblazoned on the side in silver. “Only Carter. He bitched a bit, but I pulled rank. Figured I was needed here faster than he was.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth. “This is some kind of clusterfuck, boss.”
“Yeah. Stupidity on my part.”
“Not where I'm standing. You can't trust someone after years of working together, something's wrong. You raised Thomas the same way you raised me, Finn. Hands on, day in, day out. Taught us everything you know. It's not your fault the little fuck decided he deserved more, or that he stole your cattle and abused his privileges to get it. I know he meant a lot to you, boss. We all saw him as a friend.”
Finn ran his tongue over his teeth, barely containing the snarl in his chest. “Well, he's nothing now.”
“Last I heard from Pearson, he'd given them the go-ahead to hold the cattle in his pens. They were unloading both transporters about a mile down the road, where the first unit has broken down, and driving the cattle on foot. They've told him they've got four hundred head.”
Four hundred of his cattle. Finn's hand clenched into a fist. “Thomas has been handpicking heifers from the stock we've been sending and breeding them. As young as a year old,” he growled, thinking of the young Murray Grey Ava had valiantly fought to save. “Eight dead in the top barn, two live bulls in another, and a dead heifer in the bottom shed. Ava's in there now with the calf we just pulled out of it.”
Curious eyes roamed over him. “Huh. Thought you looked a bit disheveled. You pulled a calf out of a dead heifer?”
“Heifer was alive when Ava found her. Thomas left her with a stuck calf, just dumped her down there to die. We tried our best, but she was too young and too small. Died while we were trying to save the calf.”
“Ah hell. The calf?”
“Had to swing it, after Ava gave it mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions.” His lips twitched. God, he adored her. He didn't know a single soul who'd fight so fiercely for an animal that, for all intents and purposes, was dead when it hit the ground. “Looks like Thomas has been using an Angus bull. Can't be one of ours, not when we castrate them. Not unless we've missed one.”
“Small odds on that, boss. Every calf gets checked off when it's dosed and castrated unless they're headed west.”
“Yeah. I think we need to pull the records for what we've sent west over the last few years too. See if some of the young bulls we've sent to mature for breeding actually went where they were supposed to.” Finn didn't like the implications of that, and from the look on Ash's face, neither did he. “I think we need to look for a mole at home, Ash. Someone keeping an eye on the stock and diverting cattle in the opposite direction to where they should be going.”
“Fuck.”
They watched as the chopper engine finally died, pinging as it cooled. “I had a talk with Ava on the way over here. She has some ideas for changing the direction of the ranch, ideas I agreed with.”
“But you don't now?”
Finn shook his head. “No, now we're going to go ahead with them. We're going to cull out the individuals who've been helping Thomas if there are any left. They'll be handed over to the cops if we can find the evidence to support our claims. The majority of the breeding herd will be sold.” He thought it would hurt to say the words, to say them aloud and mean it. Years of breeding and genetics flying out of his grasp. But instead there was a strange sense of relief. “We'll be keeping the Black Angus herd, adding to it. Same with the Murrays.”
Ash staggered back a step, his face a mask of shock. “The fuck, boss?”
“We'll keep the cattle at home base. Gonna be a damn sight easier running fifteen hundred head than twenty thousand. The hands we can trust, we'll keep on.” Finn shot him a hard look, staring his friend down with all the dominance he could muster. “Can I trust you, Ash?”
Blue eyes met his without fear. He straightened his shoulders, stood taller, and tilted his chin in challenge. Finn saw no flicker of deception, nothing to suggest his friend was lying. Even his voice was confident in his reply. “Boss, have I ever given you a reason to think otherwise?”
“No, but then neither did Thomas until he stabbed me in the back. How long have you been with me now, Ash?”
“You took me on about the same time as Thomas.”
“And you've been happy with being my right hand? Babysitting the equine breeding and overseeing the cattle? Because not once do I recall you asking for more. You've never asked for a raise, for a shot at running one of the stations. Hell, I think the only damn thing you have asked me for is a new horse.” Finn cocked his head thoughtfully. “Are you where you want to be, Ash, is what I'm asking.”
He blew out a breath. “You pulled me outta a bad spot, Finn. Young, stupid, brass balls the size of cantaloupes. I didn't have the college education Thomas did, and I was one step away from spending my life in a state facility. You taught me how to ride a horse, rope a cow, survive a harsh winter, all while giving me a reason to take a hard look at myself and what I was gonna be. I wouldn't be the man I am today if you hadn't scooped me up and dragged my ass out here. I don't see as
I've got the right to ask for more.”
“You made those changes yourself, boy. I can't take credit for it, and I'm not going to.” Finn tipped his hat back and chose to trust his heart. “Seeing as you won't ask for more yourself, I'm gonna give it to you. When this mess is cleared up and we know exactly what Thomas has stolen, I'll be clearing the west station. The Angus and the Murrays we're keeping will come home; the rest will be sold off. After that, that station's gonna be empty. I'll give you a healthy budget to play with; renovate the barns and the fencing how you see fit.”
“For what?”
“I figure it's about time you do what you do best. You're good with the cattle, that's for sure, but you were made to work with horses. Just so happens that Ava thinks we should do more with that, and she's a woman after my own heart. We breed horses to sell, for the most part. That's gonna change. Take them west, Ash. Keep the best of what we produce instead of selling them and build a herd. Compete if you want to. You've earned the right to run them on your own.”
“Jesus Christ.” Ash leaned back against the barn, his throat working quickly. “I appreciate the gesture, boss, but...”
“You're turning it down?”
“No! Hell, no. I just...would you mind if I ask for more?” The slightest flush worked up his tanned face.
“More than a free rein, fat budget, and twenty thousand acres?” Finn laughed, pleased the boy was getting the idea. “Those cantaloupe-sized brass balls are making a reappearance, Ash. What the hell, ask away. Seems to be the day for it.”
“I've been saving for a few years now, hoping to get enough together to get my own place one day. There's a tidy sum, not a massive amount, but with what you pay me, it's nothing to laugh at.” The flush deepened with embarrassment. “You're a millionaire, boss, everyone knows it. So, I'll understand if it doesn't interest you. But I...I'd appreciate it if you'd consider letting me buy into it. The horses, I mean.”
Black Light: Branded Page 17
