by Lexie Davis
She hated the feelings he created within her more than anything—how looking at him reminded her of heartbreak as much as desire, how she would have given up everything just to be with him, how the one time she'd said she loved him he'd walked away. But most of all she hated the fact that she still loved him. As much as she forced herself to deny it, her love for him had never gone away.
"Marah, would you please wait?"
She walked briskly toward her mother's house hoping to erase Ben from her memory. She hadn't planned on him following her.
"Why?” She stopped and whirled around to face him. “Why should I waste my time with you?"
"I want you, Marah. I don't deserve you one bit, but I want to fuck you so bad I can't see straight."
Her hand dropped to her side at the admission. “Is that your way of expecting me to forget everything?” Anger poured off her with her words. Damn him for thinking I'm easy and damn me for letting him near. She turned and took a few steps, but Ben pulled her back around to face him.
"You want me too, Marah. I see it in your eyes. Your heart's pounding against your ribs expecting my next move. Let me make it up to you, sweetheart. Let me make up all those cold lonely nights while I was gone."
Oh, he was a smooth talker.
"Is that all I ever meant to you? A cheap, easy fuck?” Marah jerked her arm free from his grasp. “Don't try patronising me by manipulating my feelings for you. I'm not that same eighteen-year-old girl anymore."
Her mother's house was two blocks away, and all she could think about was getting there and locking herself in her room. How dare her father put her in this position? She continued walking down the street, refusing to let the tears fall. Her anger bubbled deep within her, the repressed feelings of hurt and sadness washing over her like a big wave of emotions. The damn concert wasn't until tomorrow night, and the Dallas interview couldn't come soon enough.
"Marah, would you wait?” Ben came up behind her and she started walking faster nearly running. God help her, she wanted him and it scared her. “Marah!"
"What?” she swivelled around, tears in her eyes. “I poured my heart out to you and you left. I told you I loved you, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and still you went. Now, you come back and confuse me even more only five minutes after reuniting. What am I suppose to think?” She wiped her wet face with the back of her hand. “I loved you. I guess that makes me stupid because I thought you loved me, too."
He stared at her, his jaw tight, body stiff, ready to punch something. “Marah, please."
"Please what? Huh? ‘Please fuck me, Ben?’ Is that what you want to hear?” she scoffed. “Fine. If you're so callous to think I should offer you a good time after all that's been said, then so be it. Let's get it on."
She turned the corner to the white mansion at the end of the small dirt road. Her mother had built the place with her father's alimony checks and neither one of them could bear to separate from it. When the weight of the world fell on her shoulders, this was the one place Marah went to make it go away.
Except this time she was bringing trouble with her.
"Marah, I'm sorry.” He came up behind her, sliding a hand down her arm. “I don't know what else to say. I hate seeing that look in your eyes. God, I hate myself for putting it there."
She unlocked the door to the house in silence. Her body reacted to the simplicity of his touch, the warmth of his hands against her bare skin. It had been long enough since she'd felt desire for any man. And she'd never experienced such an intense desire except with this man.
"Yeah, well the past is over. Who gives a shit right?” She threw her purse and keys in the foyer, against the wall.
"Would you stop?” He turned her around, his fierce green eyes penetrating her emotions better than anything else in the world. “What do you want from me? I never meant to hurt you. I've said I'm sorry. I can't erase the past.” He sighed with exasperation. “I still want you, Marah. There's no point in keeping that a secret."
She slid her hand to the banister, ready to climb the steps. “For how long, Ben? You're in town for two days. Do you plan to fuck and run and leave me again just like you did ten years ago?"
"You don't understand what it was like living with that man. I had to get away, and it had nothing to do with you.” Without preamble, he followed her up the stairs.
"I'm tired of the same old argument with you.” She stopped halfway up. “I was eighteen years old, head over heels for a boy I thought was the world. I would have given anything if he'd thought the same for me and feel so foolish that I allowed myself to believe he did. I know your home life sucked, but it had nothing to do with us. It never did, Ben, so stop making a futile effort to convince me otherwise."
"Then how can I get you to stop hating me?"
"Marah?” Holly Reece came around the corner, flicking on the hall light. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, she looked between the two of them. “What's going on here?"
"Nothing, Ms. Reece.” Ben shook his head regretfully. “I just wanted to make sure Marah arrived safely. I'm leaving now."
Holly's eyebrows arched in question.
"Mom, Ben and the guys need a place to crash. Can they stay in your spare bedrooms?” She needed to get the interview done and the sooner the better. “Dad wants me to interview Darkfever so I figure we can get that out of the way tonight."
Holly reached for Ben's hand, clasping his wrist with her fingers when he tried to escape. “It's past ten, Marah. Can't the interview wait until morning?"
"No. They have rehearsals and I'm planning on leaving around lunch.” Disappointment crossed Ben's face, but he refused to meet her eyes.
"I don't mind the boys staying. It's been quite some time since we've had houseguests.” Holly gave Ben a warm smile. “It's really good to see you, Benjamin. I'm glad you finally came back home."
Ben forced his lips in a curved, stiff smile. “So far, Ms. Reece, you're the only one that thinks that."
Holly glanced up at her daughter, and Marah looked away. “I'm sure you two have plenty to catch up on. Are the boys at Bessie's? I'll go call them and invite them over. I can't wait to see them."
Both Ben and Marah watched Holly leave, silence filling the stagnant air around them. Marah heated under his speculation, her pussy contracting with the memories of only moments before. She could deny wanting him to herself all night long, but her body made her a liar. She'd missed him, and just being around him ignited the flame that once burned brightly between them. She knew it, and he knew it, as well. The weekend wouldn't pass without finishing what they'd started in the alley.
"I don't hate you, Ben. I never have,” Marah said, referring to their conversation before Holly had interrupted. “And quite frankly, I'm tired of talking about it."
She came to him, standing no more than a few inches away. Heat radiated from his body, entrapping her in sensual delight. She hesitated for a moment staring at his firm lips, somehow drawing courage to say what she needed to say.
"I hate how you entered my life, crushing my defences with just one look. I hate how you kiss me and my body tingles. I hate how you touch me and I melt in the palm of your hand. I hate it all but I can't stop it.
"So you're right, Ben. I do want you and my advice to you is to finish what you started. You're going to fuck me. We're going to get if out of our systems and off our minds."
Her hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him so that his mouth met hers. Her lips brushed against his as she spoke. “And no one needs to know."
He cupped her face, holding her close to his eager mouth as he tasted her. They relived what they'd once had together, what they once had been. His tongue licked at her mouth, sweeping inside to tangle with her own. Her mind swam with the intensity of his kiss, his taste.
He trailed his fingers across her face to her neck, gently brushing the soft skin he found. Marah's body knew his touch. Everything within her screamed with desire, making her inner thighs grow wet and
sticky. They might have been standing in her mother's foyer, but she couldn't get enough. She would never get enough of him.
Her mind reeled at the thought of her dreams coming true. Ben was home. She wanted to hold him and make love to him all night so the good memories ruled over the bad ones.
"Ben.” She pushed lightly at his chest. “If we're going to do this, I need to know something."
He stopped, puffing hot breaths of air against her wet lips. His erection pressed firmly against his fly, the large bulge making it hard to focus.
"I need to know...” How was she suppose to say it? She tilted her head up, trying to find the words.
"I'm single, STD free and have never wanted another woman the way I want you,” he replied, though serious, with a smile. “Does one of those answer your question?"
She nodded in answer. “We need to get out of the hallway just in case my mother comes back."
Without strain, he lifted her into his arms and carried her up the remaining stairs. She held on to him and laughed because this was what she'd missed all these years. Even if this fling was only for the weekend she couldn't deny she'd missed him. Period.
She kissed him with a fierce intensity, wrapping her whole body around him as he slowly lowered them both to the mattress. Clothing flew off between kisses as their passion fuelled their haste. Marah tugged his shirt over his head then resealed their lips as her eager hands explored his broad back. Hot, slick skin covered rippling muscle as her fingers coasted downward. His mouth grazed her neck while her fingers dipped underneath his waistband.
"Unzip me.” Ben's tongue darted out to lick her pulse point.
She hesitated a moment before reaching around and finding the clasp on his jeans. She flicked the button and lowered the zipper to free his hard cock. Smooth skin covered hard steel as she slid her hand around him, clasping him tight.
"Oh, God, Marah.” He pushed up, meeting her eyes with his own. “This isn't going to last if you do stuff like that."
She ignored him.
Her mouth found his, ceasing further conversation while she started a slow, steady stroke. Before long, Ben clasped her hands, trapping them on the bed on each side of her head. His mouth found her breasts and tormented her through the fabric of her shirt. Her nipples protruded in hard little points and Ben took advantage, bending his head down to suck one into his mouth, shirt and all.
She arched her back in silent invitation to do whatever he pleased—she loved it all.
"Ben, please,” she gasped. “I need you inside me."
He switched to the other breast, teasing her more, giving her no reprieve. His fingers entwined with hers when his mouth finally streamed kisses along her neck. In one quick motion, he released her hands and pulled her shirt over her head, groaning at the sight of her naked breasts.
"You're beautiful, Marah,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. His mouth came down hard against hers, his hands going to her waistband to tug the skirt from her hips. He brushed her bare belly with his knuckles eliciting a delicious tremor down her spine. He needed her, just as much as she needed him.
He pulled back, finally discarding the remnants of their clothing so that they both lay naked. His body had changed over the years, but the scars remained the same. Faint little white marks marred his flesh, a reminder of the painful years he suffered. Marah lightly skimmed her fingers over the marks, tracing them with gentle care.
"I need a condom,” he said, “but the ones I brought are in my luggage."
He smiled.
She wondered if he'd planned this all along but quickly pushed aside the thought. Of course, he'd planned it. They were good together once upon a time.
"You're safe with me, Ben,” she said, combing her hands through his hair. “It's okay."
He kissed his way down her body, seemingly happy with her response. His lips seared a path on the inside of one thigh, darting his tongue out to taste the flesh there.
The first swipe of his tongue teased them both. He pushed her legs wider, fanning his hot breath against her clit. She squirmed.
Cocky grin in place he said, “Tell me what you want."
What she wanted? Now that was a loaded question she didn't dare touch. Instead, she raised her pelvis toward his mouth almost pressing her pussy against his lips."I want you to tongue-fuck me,” she said breathlessly.
At the first touch of his lips and tongue, Marah shivered. He slid his tongue along her slit and into her moist heat, drinking her essence. She smelled herself, the scent of sex floating in the room. He shifted his mouth to her clit, flicking, sucking, and rolling it between his lips while he slid two fingers inside her body. She came hard, her body pulling at him, too greedy to let him go. Vaguely, she heard her scream, the pounding of her heart blocking out all other noise in the room. He let her ride the wave to completion before sliding up her body to press his lips against hers. His tongue swept inside her mouth as she arched her body in invitation.
"Ben,” she said, kneading his ass with both hands. “Please, now."
In one swift stroke, he plunged himself into her body. “Jesus, Marah. How long has it been?"
"Way too long,” she replied. “But I want you hard and fast."
He complied, gritting his teeth as he pulled back and plunged in once more. He thrust into her again and again until their bodies slicked with sweat and their minds completely muddled.
"Oh, God, Ben,” she said, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust.
"Say my name again,” he ground out.
Her body arched off the mattress with a strangled cry of his name. She convulsed around him, pulling him into his own orgasm. Hot bursts of semen shot into her as he slowed his hips, milking the orgasm as long as he could.
He collapsed on top of her, pulling her into his warm embrace. It was more than sex with him. It always had been. Spent, he rolled over, keeping their bodies connected. She splayed across his chest, satisfied and relaxed while he stroked her hair. His eyes drooped as she smiled down at him.
She almost said she loved him, but pride kept her from it. She didn't need the humiliation of laying her feelings on the line again. If this was the only way she could have Ben, then so be it.
"Marah, can I ask you something? If I'd stayed, where would we be now?"
"Oh, I don't know.” She yawned, laying her head on his chest. “I'd planned it all in my head at eighteen. We'd end up married. Probably have a kid or two. You'd get a job in Dallas with your music while I practiced psychology in my own clinic. We'd have lunch everyday at precisely twelve where we'd spend time making love rather than eating our food. Stuff like that."
She kissed his chest. “Why?"
He continued to stroke her back. “I don't know. I debated with that question the first year Darkfever made it big. I should have asked you to come with me, even though you wouldn't have. I know you wouldn't have, so don't deny it."
"Ben, you can't know that for sure. I was desperate to keep you with me. I probably would have gone to Mars and back if you'd asked.” She slid her hand up to his face, stroking his cheek. “I thought you didn't want me with you."
"Marah.” Pain showed in his eyes. “You shouldn't have to settle for anything. For the life of me, I don't know why you aren't in Dallas right now making it big as a hotshot doctor. You like to help people, why aren't you doing it?"
She rolled to her side, facing him. “I don't know. I need money, and my dad is generous enough to pay a decent wage. I got my Masters from the University of Texas while working at the paper in Houston. I still have debt to pay, but then this job I'm interviewing for came up and I can't afford to pass up the opportunity. If I get my doctorate, I'll have a chance to make partner—that is if I get hired for the internship program."
She turned to face him, realising again how easy it was to talk to Ben. Though a man of few words, he listened to her, understood her like no one else did.
"My dad doesn't even know about Dallas. I told him the trip was for the pollu
tion paper I'm working on at the office. He hates that I want my doctorate."
Ben lay back against the pillows, watching her as she spoke with passion about what she wanted to do with her life. Self-consciously, she pulled the thin sheet over her naked body, covering him as well. “Sometimes, I just wish I'd stayed in New York instead of coming back here."
"You were in New York?” he asked. “When?"
"Right after you left. I went to college and earned double degrees in both psychology and journalism. It took five years, but I worked my ass off. And then I came back here, got the job at the paper, went to school for my masters and well ... you know the rest.” She grabbed his hand stroking his knuckles.
"What did your mom have to say about that?” He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers.
"Oh, you know her. She and Rick just wanted me to be happy. They paid for half my tuition in New York. My dad and Jasmine covered the other half. In reality though, I guess each paid for the degree they wanted me to earn."
Ben pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her waist. He kissed her, soft and sweet, then pulled back only to kiss her again, quick and hard. She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him close.
"You're perfect,” he whispered, kissing her eyes closed.
"Hardly.” She pushed him back, refusing to allow his words to go to her head. This was for the now, to rid him from her system and move on with her life. Nothing more, nothing less. She gripped his cock in one hand, stroking it until he was hard again. It was just sex. She wouldn't get wrapped up in the feelings.
"Marah?"
Lowering her head, she slid her tongue along his tip, while continuing to pump him from the base up. Ben groaned. “You're going to kill me."
She smiled, a devilish little grin. “I'll take you to heaven first."
She took him in her mouth, sucking him, pumping him, driving him completely out of his mind. He watched her every move. His cock sank into her mouth and then slid between her lips, shiny with moisture. She brought her other hand into play, stroking his balls They tightened under her ministrations.
