by Hadley Quinn
But I also knew how much drug rehab could cost, and I knew that she didn’t have that kind of money lying around. She took care of her finances well, but I wasn’t sure how she planned on helping someone out like that.
“Are you in the position to do that?” I asked, trying not to sound like I was questioning her choices.
“I have some money saved. I think I can manage. Karla can help me with some resources, too.”
“And what if he doesn’t take it seriously and he’s right back to snorting as soon as he’s out?”
“You can’t predict who can be helped and who can’t. Everyone is worth the shot. And I need to do this, Jude. For Livvy. What if I can save her brother from the same thing that happened to her?”
I understood her passion, I really did, but I just didn’t want her to get hurt from it all. I’d been around enough musicians and their families to know the downside of trying to help a junkie, but then there were people like Ree who were the success stories you’d want for everyone.
“Anyway, I should go get ready for my shift,” she sighed. “I’m really sorry if all of that made you uncomfortable—you know, Alex approaching me and wanting to talk. He caught me off guard. But…I just want to see him get better.”
I nodded, glad for the clarification, and pulled her closer for a kiss. “You can always come to me. About anything.”
She smiled, and I was happy to finally see one on her face. “I know, and you’re amazing that way.”
“Would you have come to me if I hadn’t come to you first?” I asked, honestly wanting to know.
“Yes, of course,” she nodded. “I didn’t expect our short conversation about Livvy to affect me like it did, but I guess it still hurts. I told him I didn’t want to see him end up like that. I headed for the bathroom for privacy, but yes, I would have told you who he was and why he was there. I wouldn’t keep anything from you.”
“Okay, it just worried me when I couldn’t find you. Sorry if I’m too overprotective. Well no, I’m not sorry. You’ll just have to deal with it.”
Laughing, she gave me a hug. “I can certainly deal with that. And the second some chick thinks you’re marrying her just because you acknowledge her presence, I may have to let her know otherwise.”
God, she wasn’t kidding either. Sometimes it was hard to believe people were really like that, but being cautious around them was necessary. There is a psychological factor in idolization called idealism, and it’s a wicked thing for someone to be caught up in. When someone invests ninety percent of their lives in a false reality, they cannot separate fiction from fact. The hero worship these days was out of control, and I found it quite ridiculous that so many celebrities had to protect themselves from these warped ideals. It was a serious struggle, and if you think I’m whining about having to deal with it, just put yourself in that position and see how uncomfortable it is. All the money in the world won’t make it go away.
Ree kissed me one last time and opened the car door. Then she paused and asked me, “Why’d you call me Ivory earlier?”
It caught me by surprise, but thinking back, I actually did call her that. “Truthfully? I like the name,” I shrugged.
She chuckled and shook her head. “Of course you would.”
“And why don’t you like it?”
Blake had given me a reason, but I wanted to hear it from her.
“Well…my hippie mom thought it would be a fun joke on the world, I guess. That kind of rubs me the wrong way, but the real reason these days is that people think I’m kidding when I say my name. I’ve decided it’s much easier to repeat ‘Ree’ several times for them to finally get rather than explain that yes, I am half black and my name is Ivory.”
I could understand that but it made me smile. “Well whatever your name is, I dig it,” I winked at her. “I’ll call you my sexy bar goddess if I want and you better respond.”
Her grin was huge as she kissed me again and said, “Bar goddess needs to go manage her throne.”
25
My suggestion is to be careful, Jude,” Luke told me one final time. “I’m saying this as an outsider because I don’t judge on character, understand? Just the facts.”
I nodded my comprehension. He’d just given me the lowdown on Mr. Alexander Donahue—Ree’s ex-roommate’s brother—and warned me of the risks. The guy seemed like a harmless thief that lived to feed his next fix, but because of that, it was obvious he could also take advantage of Ivory in a heartbeat.
“But you paid him a visit and it’s done?” I asked.
He nodded resolutely. “Yep. Sorta scared the shit out of him, though. Sorry, but you know how I work.”
I did know how Luke operated and I was plenty okay with that. I didn’t want Alex coming around Ree anymore and I wanted Luke to make sure he understood that loud and clear. He also made him the offer I suggested, which was only for Ree’s sake, and the guy actually agreed. It wasn’t up to me if he completed rehab successfully, but I was more than happy to give him the chance—especially if it made my girl happy.
Except…she wasn’t that happy with me when she found out. She didn’t overreact or get loud and heated when I told her, but I could tell she felt a bit slighted that I took things into my own hands. Well, through Luke’s hands, but at my command. But I told Ree it didn’t matter who paid for the guy’s rehab, only that he was getting the opportunity and to pray for his recovery. She ultimately agreed with me, thanked me, hugged me, kissed me…
And then one thing led to another in the VIP lounge at The Urchin. It wasn’t the first time, and I was glad the door had a lock on it. She had my pants open as I pinned her up against the wall, so the obvious choice was to take advantage of the skirt she was wearing and wrap her sexy legs around my waist.
“You’re quite skilled with more than just your hands,” she whispered in my ear, teasing me.
My hands were gripped under her thighs to hold her up while I buried my cock inside of her, and although it was working just fine, against-the-wall sex was not something any normal man could do for very long. Fortunately for me, she got off easily—especially since she made me promise it could only be a quickie because she needed to get to work.
And then there was me, who needed to sit at a piano and perform for a crowd in about ten minutes. It was a Sunday afternoon, and I also knew there were some guests in the house that I was looking forward to playing for, along with an interview that I was also eager to do. There were very few people I looked forward to meeting, but Drew Tucker was one of them. I’d loved his radio show in L.A. for as long as I could remember, and tonight he was broadcasting a live feed of my performance over the air.
“Okay, sport, knock ‘em dead,” Ree told me after coming out of the bathroom, now with a pair of black leggings on to work the bar. She kissed me on the mouth and said, “You make my heart keep beating, Jude Collins. I love you.”
I’d been straightening my tie but paused as I absorbed those emotions she was willing to share with me. My feelings were mutual, and instead of trying to pace myself any longer, I pressed my lips against hers and whispered, “I love you too, Ivory Miller. I need you out there, so don’t get too busy.”
Her hands were placed against my face and she nodded. I knew how much my words meant to her so I didn’t expect a verbal response. She actually brushed away a tear and kissed me on the cheek.
“I’m always there,” she whispered back.
And that’s the way it always was. I could sit at that piano and play my heart out—past songs, new songs…it didn’t matter—and I knew that Ree was listening to every word. I was counting on that tonight. I had a couple of surprises for her.
The Urchin had been in business for seven months now, five of those months involving me. Today was Valentine’s Day, and the restaurant was packed. In fact, the day had been booked solid since over a month ago. I figured it’d be fun to debut some new tunes, but not only that, announce that I was about to produce a new album.
I had Wes playing with me today, which I was extremely excited for. We hadn’t played together much since he got a guitar gig with a local band and had been gone quite a bit playing small shows throughout the state. But tonight he was mine and we had some cool compilations to share. He’d even agreed to record tracks on my next album, so I was completely stoked for that.
Halfway through my set, I paused to tell another story. It was about this girl that I’d met—one that I wasn’t expecting to change my life so drastically, but she did for the better. I caught Ree’s gaze as I began it and she stopped mid-pour to listen. My attention returned to the audience again as I explained how my stubborn ass was set straight by the one woman that could get through to me; the only woman that was meant to fill that role in my life.
I dedicated the song to Ivory, and as I started the intro to the song I’d written specifically for her, I looked at her one last time. She had a beautiful air to her right now; so tranquil and just…content. Her effect on me was anchoring. There wasn’t a better word than that. She kept me grounded and made me feel secure. I couldn’t remember ever feeling that way about someone besides my dad.
And on that thought, as I finished up the song, I also felt a calming peace wash over me that could only be my father’s presence. In hindsight I could see that my dad had influenced me to give The Urchin a shot. Normal circumstances may have led me there—or maybe they weren’t exactly normal; maybe there were divine hands involved in that too—but the pieces of the puzzle had fit my life and I wanted to stay.
Ivory Miller had also achieved something with me that I decided could only be called a miracle, and that was convincing my heart to be open for a real shot at love. I truly believe that there are certain people in your life that hold the key to your future. We’re not always ready to progress until the right pieces—or people—are in place. It’s like going to battle without armor, and no one wants to be unprepared for that.
The set that day had been one of my favorites so far. I stuck around for a few photo ops from the stage, but I had a scheduled sit-down with Drew Tucker and met him in the lounge. This was to be a video recording too, and it was my first on-screen interview in a very long time. I was comfortable with it, though. Drew was a very laid back, candid guy and we got along great.
When he left with his camera crew, I felt very much at ease. I was in control of my life again, and it was because I’d finally recognized what balances needed to be made. I could still perform, but on my own terms; I could still write and record albums, but without the hectic tours; and I could also have a personal life that consisted of what I wanted to have in it. These things may seem like easy decisions to some people—just do what makes you happy, right? —but I was finally at a point in my life where it was actually possible for me.
I was surprised when Luke came into the room right after Drew left. I was expecting Ree, but I understood why he walked right in when he quietly said, “Alex Donohue committed suicide this morning.”
Silence filled the room for a few beats, and just like that, my mood shifted.
“I wanted you to know before Ree found out,” Luke added.
“I appreciate that,” I nodded, letting the news sink in. “And what do you know?”
With a sigh he replied, “He finished his drug treatment two weeks ago and relapsed just a few days ago. His friends said he hit it pretty hard after trying ‘just a small fix.’ They said he went downhill from there, attempted to kill himself once already, but the second time he succeeded. That was this morning, and I’d rather spare you the details because it’s pretty bad.”
“It wasn’t an overdose?”
“No sir, not this time,” Luke shook his head. “Slit himself until there was practically nothing left of his arms.”
I closed my eyes with remorse, although I knew I wasn’t at fault. I guess it was just the fact that I’d directly been a part of his life—maybe just financially, but my genuine interest had been involved too. I didn’t know what to say to Luke, so I just nodded and he realized that was his cue to leave.
Life was so fucking unpredictable I just couldn’t understand it sometimes. You make a choice, thinking it’s the right thing to do, and when something unexpected results from it, you question your approach all over again. There were some things I had no control over. I needed to keep telling myself that. And I knew that Ree was going to be heartbroken over the news, so I went about the rest of my evening in preparation for telling her.
When she clocked out an hour later, I asked her if she’d grab milkshakes with me before she spent the night at my apartment. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, so she agreed easily and even picked out the movie when we got home. It was our low-key Valentine’s Day celebration and I’d been looking forward to it after a busy day at The Urchin. It was so enjoyable to just cuddle with her on the couch and be comfortable; I didn’t want to ruin the evening with the news of her friend.
She was the one that surprised me when she said, “Alex killed himself this morning.”
I hadn’t realized she knew, but she seemed very calm and matter-of-fact about it.
“Luke told me after the show,” I admitted. “I’ve been trying to decide how to break it to you.”
She looked at me with a sad smile and said, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For… I don’t know,” she chuckled despondently. “That you had to be dragged into it and worry about how it would make me feel.”
“Oh, no, no, no,” I shook my head. “I told you, babe. In this together. You and me. That’s the way it works. And I’ll always worry about your happiness, okay?”
Her head slowly bobbed up and down, but I could tell her wheels were spinning and something was on her mind. Finally she said, “I thought I could help someone, I guess I was wrong.”
“You get points for trying, Ree. You have a big heart; you aren’t responsible for what happened.”
“I saw him yesterday,” she told me. “One of my friends called me up and said he’d tried to overdose a few nights before, so I tracked him down to talk to him. I called Karla for some advice, but Alex just screamed at me to get out of his house.”
I wasn’t aware of this, but I was instantly concerned for her safety and she could tell.
“Ben went with me,” she informed me. “We both tried to talk some sense into him but…you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.”
She wasn’t looking for a response, so I didn’t give one. I did, however, pull her close and hold her tight. We had a long discussion on it until we both felt better about the situation. Ivory had mentioned how easily that could have been her, and I really didn’t like hearing that, but I guess it was another eye opener for us to take into account. I was thankful she had family she could depend on. Some people weren’t that lucky.
Just as we were about to pay attention to the movie again, Luke’s phone call deterred me. I thought maybe he was calling about the White Sox game we were going to the next night, but I was way off.
“Hey, man,” he began when I answered. “That crazy psychic chick is getting arrested outside your apartment.”
“What? Right now?”
“Yep, Gregory just called me from the security desk to let me know. I’m on my way over.”
I groaned, but instead of letting Luke take care of it on his own, I had a few words I needed to say to this lady.
26
Since I’d called downstairs to let them know I was on my way, a pair of police officers were down in the lobby with Gretta in their custody, waiting for me. She was babbling at me a mile a minute the second she saw me, and one of the officers even rolled his eyes.
“Can you slow down and explain what’s going on?” I asked her.
“That,” she growled at me, pointing with her handcuffed hands toward the front desk.
Gregory held up a tabloid and he appeared to do so begrudgingly. I took it from him and stared at the front. It was a picture of myself wi
th Ree, stepping out of a vehicle that Luke was most likely driving. Based on what I was wearing, I could tell it wasn’t a show at The Urchin, but maybe dinner out during the previous week.
The caption read:
Jude Collins’ girlfriend, Ivory Miller, predicted by psychic
I wanted to roll my own eyes at that point. “What about it?” I asked her with a shrug.
“What about it? That’s my story!” she yelled at me. “Mine! They didn’t even give me any credit!”
Seriously? And why was I supposed to give a fuck about this? I shook my head and asked, “And why are you here? I have nothing to do with this garbage.”
She looked totally appalled and narrowed her eyes at me. “Not once have you ever mentioned my part in all of this. You and your new love? That was because of me! Tell them!”
I scoffed with disbelief. “Really? You’re claiming to have something to do with the choices in my life?”
“You deny having two conversations with me about Ivory?”
I shook my head and answered, “Absolutely not. But check your facts, lady. I met Ivory long before I ever met you. The dates I started playing at The Urchin are still on the website so go do your research.”
She started screaming at me fanatically, waving what she could of her handcuffed arms until the police calmed her down.
“What would you like us to do, Mr. Collins?” one of the officers asked.
I seriously didn’t know what to do, and I was glad that Luke walked into the building right then. I briefed him on what was going on, all while the fortuneteller kept interrupting and yelling her own two cents.
Finally Luke said, “Would you shut the fuck up?”
Sometimes I envied the fact that he didn’t have to watch his mouth in public as much as I did.
She narrowed her eyes at him, staring like she’d done to me before. It seriously was creepy as hell, and I have no doubt it was half the reason why Luke told the police to remove her from the building and then suggested for me to file a restraining order.
