“I’ve held on to this thing for a while now. In fact . . . I almost threw it away.” He had looked deep into her eyes. “You asked for a break. I want you to have one—no matter how I feel.” He studied the business card and then handed it to her. “But don’t you think this could be a sign, Lucy? From God?”
She hadn’t known what to feel. Whether she should scream or hug him and never let go. Yes, she wanted a break and she loved Aaron even more for being sensitive to the fact. But his undying genuine belief that God was still going to bring about a miracle, that He was going to give them a baby, was so heartbreaking Lucy could hardly be angry.
Their lives were a trail of broken moments and closed doors when it came to having a baby. First baby Rio, then little Sophie. And one more child, a time when it seemed certain God Himself had moved heaven and earth to give them a baby.
The news had come at ten-fifteen in the morning on a Tuesday, just eight months ago. The last summer they were in Atlanta. Lucy had been at work, but the call came to the nurses’ station.
One of the doctors had found her treating a sick baby. “Lucy, you need to come. Now!”
At first she had thought something happened to Aaron. They had worked at different hospitals at that point, his fifteen miles on the other side of the city. She could remember the blood draining from her face, her heartbeat in her throat.
She hurried to the phone, but instead of Aaron, it was a familiar voice. The woman’s words came fast and excited. It was Bonnie, a nurse Lucy had worked with until the previous Christmas.
“There’s a baby boy here, Lucy,” the woman said. “You need to come right now. Tell Aaron.”
Then the woman had done her best to explain the story. A teenage girl had given birth. Not just any girl, but the daughter of a pair of attorneys from Highcastle Royal—the wealthiest housing enclave in Atlanta. Apparently she had given birth by C-section. Something her parents insisted on so that she wouldn’t hear the baby cry. Wouldn’t have any possible bonding with the infant. “If you can imagine.” Bonnie sounded outraged.
Lucy couldn’t fathom it.
“Anyway, the poor little mama never even held her baby. She and her parents have all signed off, giving up their rights to the child. I told the attending doctor about you and Aaron. She wants the two of you and your social worker to meet us at the hospital in an hour.” Her voice brimmed with elation. “And the baby’s yours.”
It felt like a tragedy and miracle all at once. How could parents treat their daughter that way? As if prestige and money and reputation mattered more than the girl’s heart. But maybe Lucy was looking too deeply into the situation. It could be the teenage mother wasn’t being pressured by her parents.
Maybe she didn’t want to raise a baby.
But why not at least make an adoption plan for the child? Lucy would never understand. Still, she didn’t dwell on the question for more than a few seconds. The bigger reality was exploding through her.
With no warning whatsoever, she and Aaron were going to have a baby of their own! A little boy who would never know anything but the two of them, never feel the uncertainty of foster care, never know a life other than the one he would have with them.
Lucy could barely hit the numbers as she called Aaron and explained the situation. “We have a baby boy!” she blurted out.
“What?” Aaron sounded ready to run from his office to find the child. “Where? How do we . . . What do you mean? Lucy, talk to me.”
She laughed, part disbelief, part otherworldly joy. A happiness she had known only a few times in all her life. They were going to be parents! She shared the details with Aaron and they called their social worker. The plan was set.
At one that afternoon, they’d meet at the hospital with the baby’s medical team. Paperwork would be signed and that night their son would be sleeping under their roof. In the nursery that had been waiting for him as far back as Lucy could remember.
Lucy didn’t know what to do. She asked for the rest of the day off, drove home and ran to the baby bedroom. The crib was clean, changing table ready. A quick trip to Target and she had a car seat, a selection of newborn outfits. Diapers. Wipes. Baby bottles. Pacifiers.
Everything they needed. As she packed up the car that day, Lucy checked the time on her phone. She still had thirty minutes. That’s when an idea hit her. Maybe a special blanket. Yes, that was it. Something to wrap around this little boy for the ride home. Lucy laughed out loud.
They didn’t even have a name for him. Of course they didn’t. She’d only just found out the baby was theirs.
Whatever his name, Lucy drove to the nearest Nordstrom and picked out the softest, most beautiful blue blanket. Something she would keep forever as a reminder of this day. He might not have been born into the world with anyone ready to care for him. But no one would love him and treasure him the way they would.
Lucy could hardly draw a breath she was so excited.
Finally, at twelve-forty-five, she parked her car in the hospital employee lot and took one bag—with an outfit and the blanket—from the passenger seat. Her hands were shaking. “We’re coming, Son.” She whispered the words out loud. “Mommy and Daddy are on the way.”
Aaron told her later that after her call he had taken a break and gone up to the maternity ward. He was an administrator, and this had been an unconventional case, so Bonnie had let him into the unit. There, Aaron had held the little boy and cradled him to his chest. Aaron said he would never forget the way he had felt in those moments.
“I’m your daddy, little one,” Aaron had told the newborn. “Me and your mommy will help you grow up big and strong. No one’s ever going to hurt you.” For the next hour he stayed there, holding the baby. Only when he was called back to his office for a briefing did Aaron leave.
Neither he nor Lucy could wait for one o’clock.
At 12:55, Lucy was standing in the hospital lobby when Aaron stepped off the elevator and came to her. The look of love and elation was one Lucy had never before seen in his eyes. At the same time their social worker walked through the hospital front doors.
The three of them had a quick meeting to explain the situation in greater detail and then they headed up to the maternity ward. Aaron put his arm around her and kissed her as they reached the right floor. “We’re parents, Lucy,” he whispered. “Can you believe it?”
The social worker gave them their space, but even she smiled. “Things like this don’t just happen.” She shook her head. “God must be really looking out for you two.”
There wasn’t a single thought that something could go wrong, that this baby wouldn’t be theirs. What could mess this up? The baby was an orphan.
At least that’s what they had thought.
They hurried with the social worker down a long corridor, and Aaron led the way into the nursery. He must have immediately noticed something was off, because he stopped short as soon as he entered the unit.
There a few yards away was another couple—about the same age as Lucy and Aaron. The woman was holding the newborn and next to them was a stern-looking woman in a navy blazer and business skirt.
“That’s our baby.” Aaron pointed, his voice low.
Lucy couldn’t draw a breath. What was happening? She hadn’t even met the little boy and now . . . Who were these people and why were they holding Lucy and Aaron’s son? Lucy was still trying to figure it out, still trying to keep herself from falling to the floor, when Bonnie walked up.
She had clearly been crying. “Please. Follow me.” She motioned to them, and Lucy and Aaron and the social worker followed her into a small room. Bonnie shut the door behind her. “I’m so sorry.” She looked from Lucy to Aaron and back. “I have no words.”
The room began to spin. No, Lucy remembered thinking. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not with another baby. She was the first to speak. “Wh-what do we have to do? The baby is ours. You said so.”
Before Bonnie could respond, the social worker cleared her voice. “Lo
ok, I’m not sure who those people are, but we’re prepared to sign paperwork. The baby is going to be adopted by my clients.”
Her words turned out to mean nothing.
Bonnie shook her head. “A doctor in the unit had the same idea. His sister and brother-in-law have been trying to have a child. He made arrangements with them at the same time.” Fresh tears filled her eyes. “It was miscommunication on my part.” She covered her face for a moment, obviously distraught. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. Aaron. It’s too late.” Her next words seemed almost impossible to hear. “The papers are already signed. The baby is theirs.”
Lucy dropped the bag with the blanket and new outfit. How could they lose another baby? Just when they were so close? She felt the floor fall away.
Aaron put his arm around her. His entire body was shaking. “Is . . . there anything we can do?”
The social worker looked defeated. “Have the other parents passed a background check?”
“Yes.” Bonnie looked sick to her stomach. “They’re licensed foster parents. Just like Lucy and Aaron.” She turned to them. “I’m so sorry. I feel terrible.”
The memory stopped there. It was as much as Lucy could take. She blinked and let the images fade. There had been a dozen other times when their social worker called with what seemed like certain news that a baby was about to be theirs. But always the situation didn’t work out.
Still, Bonnie’s baby—as they had come to call him—was right up there with Rio and Sophie. Three losses that stood like wooden crosses on the highway of infertility.
Lucy looked at the sick infant in the bassinet and then lifted her eyes to the ceiling.
You want me to believe You’re there? That You see our pain and keep allowing these situations? She could actually feel her heart breaking, see the faces of all three babies that had almost belonged to them. Did we do something wrong, God? And what about this lawyer Aaron’s excited about?
The idea of contacting the man made Lucy feel nervous and sick, exhausted and jaded. God hadn’t helped them before. Why would He step in now? She sighed and the sound lasted a long time. She needed to check on the other infants. As she stood up, she heard something like a voice.
I have loved you with an everlasting love, my daughter. Trust Me. Trust My timing.
Lucy gasped. She looked over one shoulder, then the other. She grabbed hold of the chair and looked around the room. No one else was around. Who could’ve said that? Her breathing was faster than usual, her heart pounding. Was she losing her mind? After so long without a single answer to her prayers?
She waited for the voice to say something else, to confirm what she’d already heard. But other than the whooshing and whirring of the machines, the room was silent.
Lucy moved on from there, ready to do her job. She still had no hope of having a baby, no desire to get back into the everyday conversations about what to do next.
But what did the voice mean? Love and trust?
Lucy shook off the thought of it and began making her rounds. Still she couldn’t quite get over the realness of the spoken words, or how they had made her feel. Even for just an instant.
What if Aaron was right? Yes, they’d had far too many disappointments. But that didn’t mean the next opportunity wouldn’t pan out. Maybe . . . if she held out hope just a little longer, a baby would finally be theirs.
Maybe not.
She waffled back and forth all day. If she did this, if she was really willing to consider adoption again after all they’d been through, she would do it for Aaron. Her amazing husband.
And possibly because of the voice. In case it had actually come from heaven . . . or even God.
And so by the end of her shift, Lucy had made a decision. If Aaron wanted to follow up with the adoption attorney, he could.
Even if the only thing that came from it was more heartbreak.
13
There was a reason Ashley was picking the petals off a hundred roses. The only reason that made any sense. She was a mother, and her son needed her. This time because Cole was trying to pull off a surprise for Elise, a special way to ask her to the prom.
Otherwise, Ashley would’ve loved to have been out on the houseboat with Landon and the kids. For early March, it was an unusually warm Saturday. But Cole had asked for her help, and she wasn’t going to miss the chance to be there for him. He’d be away at college before she knew it.
The basket at the middle of the table was beginning to fill up. “How is this going down again?”
Cole laughed. “I’m going to pick up Elise and tell her I’m taking her to dinner.”
“But you’re not going to dinner?” Ashley was halfway teasing. She had heard the plans. She just couldn’t believe how elaborate they were. Also, Cole kept changing them.
“Yes. But not till after the surprise.” He kept plucking. “I added one thing. I’m going to bring her half a dozen roses.”
Ashley smiled. “Half a dozen?”
“Right, and when I give them to her in my car I’m going to act like it’s a mistake.” He looked around the kitchen table and under it, acting out the moment yet to come. “ ‘Where are the rest of your roses?’ I’ll ask her.”
“Hmmm.” Ashley grabbed another rose and pulled the petals one at a time. “And then you’ll bring her here.”
“Exactly.” Cole looked giddy at the prospect. “It’ll be perfect. She’ll think I’m a little crazy, but we’ll laugh about it and then when we get here my question will be written in rose pedals across the front porch.”
“P-R-O-M?” Ashley raised her brow at him. “Right?”
“I thought about writing the whole thing. ‘Elise, will you please go to the prom with me?’ ” He chuckled. “But I couldn’t afford a thousand roses.”
“Thankfully!”
“Plus, I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes.” He smiled and kept working.
Ashley looked up at him, her firstborn son. He was so handsome, so mature. Between his height and his confidence, no one would’ve known he wasn’t Landon’s son. But times like this she could still see the little towhead he’d been when he was three years old.
And now here they were, two months till graduation.
Her heart ached at the thought. Before they knew it he’d be driving off to Liberty University and days like this would be gone forever. She took another flower from the bundle. “What’s Elise thinking these days? About the baby?”
Cole nodded. “We talk about it all the time. She’s four months along now.”
That’s about what Ashley had figured. Ashley still remembered the moment when Cole had burst through the door and run to her with the news. Elise had decided against abortion. Ashley and Cole had prayed right there in the foyer, thanking God for her change of mind.
Ever since then Ashley had felt a special bond with the girl. But they rarely talked about what Elise was going to do once the baby was born.
“What’s she thinking? Any plans?” Ashley didn’t want to push. She prayed every day, asking God to lead the girl. Especially since Cole was more head over heels for her all the time, Ashley wanted to know.
“She really doesn’t know yet.” Cole shrugged one shoulder. “One thing for sure. She’s not going to talk to her old boyfriend about the baby.”
Ashley hadn’t thought much about that. The guy was abusive, Cole had already told them that. But legally, she might need to tell him. “Is she sure?”
Cole’s expression darkened. “Her old boyfriend was . . . a bad guy.” He stopped plucking petals for a moment and looked at Ashley. “Worse than I told you before. Elise keeps letting out little details. He was abusive. In a lot of ways.” He paused. “Her friends say he’s made threats about finding her again.”
Ashley’s heart sank. She hadn’t known that.
“She wants nothing to do with the father.” Cole picked up another rose. “She’s open to adoption. She says it probably makes the most sense.”
Ashley understood that. Still, t
he idea of placing a child into adoption wasn’t one she had ever considered. What would her life be like without Cole? She angled her head and looked into her son’s blue eyes. “What about you? What do you think?”
“I’m there for her.” He stopped plucking again and let his hands settle on the table. “I told her I’d stay with her . . . help her raise the baby, Mom. If that’s what she wants.”
Cole had hinted about this a time or two. Ashley had even talked to Landon about the possibility, and he had convinced her that Cole wasn’t really serious. Not when he had so much schooling ahead. Not when he was just eighteen. But here . . . now . . . there was no mistaking Cole’s words.
He was serious.
“What . . . would that look like?” Ashley didn’t want to sound panicked. Whatever his plan, Cole wasn’t going to leave high school and marry Elise. Of course not. Ashley wouldn’t let him. But she forced herself not to voice any of that.
“We’ve talked about it.” He looked off. “At least I’ve talked about it.” He took a slow breath and locked eyes with her again. “I’d help Elise after the baby is born, and sometime this summer or maybe at Christmastime, we’d get married. Then we’d find a place to live and I’d take classes online.”
Ashley couldn’t breathe. Was he really serious? “You . . . feel that strongly for her?”
“Yes.” The resolve in Cole’s expression was unwavering. “Mom, I love her. With all my heart.”
If there was a way for Ashley to stop time, rewind the clocks everywhere in the world and take them back to the start of the semester, she would’ve made sure Cole never took science with Mr. Hansen. Made sure he had a normal last semester of his senior year and that he never would’ve befriended Elise Walker.
Ashley’s thoughts swirled and fought for attention, even as she felt terrible for having them. But what was Cole thinking? “Where would you work?”
Cole picked up another rose and once more he looked at her. “I know you’re worried, Mom. But it’s what Dad would do. You know it is.” He returned to the flower. “Anyway, at this point I think she’ll place the baby for adoption. So . . . it’s not really worth talking about.”
Two Weeks Page 13
