She looked up at Landon. “You don’t think he’s really considering it? Running off and getting married out of high school?” An exasperated sound came from her. “Just so he could be like you?”
“No.” He kissed her lips this time. “There are a lot of ways Cole could help Elise if she raises her baby. Giving up his future career doesn’t seem like a very good choice.”
“Yes.” Ashley nodded. “Good. That’s what I needed to hear.”
“Of course.” Landon laughed, the quiet sort that was meant only for her. “Happy to help.”
Ashley chuckled. She hated feeling anxious, especially about her kids. They were God’s first and God’s always. All of them were only on loan to her and Landon. Still, she would pray desperately that God would work out the details for Cole and his life in the coming months. Not only for her son.
But for the girl he loved.
• • •
SINCE HE’D PICKED her up an hour ago, every time Cole looked at Elise she took his breath. Like literally, he couldn’t breathe right, couldn’t think straight. His mind was spinning and his feet didn’t seem to touch the floor.
He had never seen a more beautiful girl in all his life.
As he walked her down the porch steps to his car, the sun was setting over the golden fields and the slightest breeze rustled the baby leaves in the trees that lined the far side of the driveway. The sky and her dress and her crystal blue eyes were all the same color and a truth hit him in a sudden rush.
This moment would live with him forever.
He stopped and turned to her. Then he held up his hands and formed a frame. “If I ever become an artist like you, this will be my first painting.” He let his hands fall slowly to his sides. “The way you look tonight.”
Her eyes lit up and she held her skirt out and twirled. “That’s my dream, Cole.” She stopped and her smile reached to the center of his heart. “It’s always been my dream.”
“For me to be an artist?” He took her hand and spun her twice more. Who needed the prom? This was the dance he would remember. “I better get an easel.”
“No, silly.” She laughed. “To live in a painting. To be the art instead of creating it.”
“Well, then . . .” Cole drew her closer and looked deep into her eyes. “Your dream just came true, Elise. Because you are the most unforgettable work of art.”
This time she grew quiet, her eyes full of a love Cole had only hoped to know one day. “You’re my dream come true, Cole.” Her voice was like a song on the evening air. “Only you.”
Just for tonight Cole didn’t want to think about Elise being pregnant. He didn’t want to talk about due dates and clinic visits and how her decisions in the next few months could change both their lives forever. He only wanted to be young and free and eighteen.
In love with the prettiest girl at prom.
On the ride to school, at first neither of them said anything. The feel of her fingers between his was enough. As often as he could, Cole caught a glance at her. At every stoplight she looked more beautiful. How could she ever have been the bad girl? Running around with some jerk who didn’t respect her? It was impossible to believe.
Cole leaned back, his eyes on the road. He took another glimpse at her. “You know something, Elise?”
“What?” She lowered her chin, flirting with him. Her eyes sparkled even in the dim of the car.
Cole wanted to pull over and just stare at her. Instead he forced himself to look at the road. “Every guy’s going to be jealous of me tonight.” Another brief glance. “You look like an angel.”
“Thank you.” She turned and faced him. Her corsage was positioned just so on her left wrist. The smell of his carnation and her tiny white roses filled the air between them.
He could tell she was thinking about something. “What’s on your mind?” They were still a few minutes from the school. Prom was taking place in the gymnasium.
“Liberty.” She sounded curious, casual. All her walls completely down. “Why do you want to go there?”
Strange, Cole thought. She had barely talked to him about Liberty University before this. Their conversations had been so much about Elise and her pregnancy, her regrets about Randy and what she was going to do once the baby was born. And most of all how he might help her. This was the first time she’d asked about his school.
He shot her a quick look. “Now?” He didn’t want to think about being a world away from Elise. Not on a night like this. “You want to talk about Liberty?”
“Yes.” She smiled. Her voice was softer still. “It matters to you. So it matters to me.”
“Okay.” He made a right turn. The school was just two miles away. “At Liberty there’s a high bar and every student wants it. Higher academics. Stronger character. Deeper faith.” He smiled. “Four years later, people come out ready. For a career, for life.” He looked at her again. “For a family.”
“That’s what I thought.” Elise faced straight ahead and stared into the evening. For a minute she didn’t say anything. Then she took a quick breath and turned to him again. “It sounds wonderful, Cole. And the medical school you want to attend, it’s there, too?”
“It is.” The wonder of the night was wearing thin. Cole didn’t want to talk about this now. Not right before the dance. He wanted to be Prince Charming and she his princess. At least until midnight—when her aunt and uncle wanted her home.
These adult conversations could come later. They would come later.
But Elise didn’t let it go. “Liberty’s in Virginia, right?”
“Lynchburg. Yes.” He didn’t want to be upset. If talking about Liberty was important to her, then he’d go along. Maybe if he laughed a little. “So what you’re saying is”—he winked at her—“you’re thinking of going to Liberty?”
“No.” She laughed. “I’m for sure about NYU. I sent in my application, my service hours.” Her words came with all the confidence in the world. As if she was making more of a declaration than a response.
So where was this going? Cole turned into the Clear Creek High parking lot. “Then why all the questions?”
“I told you.” She was watching him. Really watching him. “If you care about it, I care about it.”
He nodded. “Okay. I get that.” They found a parking spot and he cut the engine. He still had hold of her hand. “NYU, huh?”
“Yes.” She didn’t blink, didn’t look away. A deeper meaning seemed to live in her answer.
Again, this wasn’t the time, but Cole could do nothing to stop the conversation. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
Her expression softened and she nodded. Just the slightest move of her head. “I’m not ready for a baby, Cole.” Her smile held an ocean of sadness. “You . . . you make it sound so wonderful and easy. You’ll stay with me. You’ll help me. And if things work out, maybe we’ll get married.”
“They will work out.” Cole had no doubt. “Okay, sure we’re young. And yes, I have plans to attend Liberty for the next eight years. But plans change.” The passion in his voice didn’t waver. “You and me, Elise, we would make it work. If we keep God at the center, if we follow His lead.” He paused. “Don’t you believe that?”
“I do.”
He leaned back in his seat. Her response took his breath. They were the words she would say to him one day if God allowed it. But it didn’t look like she picked up on the fact.
“I believe it.” She took a steady breath. “But not right now, Cole.”
“Why?” For the first time since she’d found out she was pregnant, Cole heard a voice loud and clear. Because she’s right. This isn’t the time. You barely know her. And the plans you had before you met her were good plans. He shut out the voice. “I told you I’m here for you.” He hesitated. He wished she’d never brought the subject up. They were supposed to be heading into prom. He forced himself to sound calm. “All my life I wanted to be like my dad.”
“He’s a nice man.” Her tone held t
he ring of longing. “The sort of dad I always pictured having.”
“Thanks.” Cole looked straight ahead and suddenly he wasn’t seeing across a high school parking lot. He was seeing his dad run to him when he got home from the fire station, swinging him up onto his shoulders or sitting down at the table to hear about Cole’s day. No question, Cole was who he was now because of his dad.
The man who chose to be his father.
“Your mom and dad want you to go to Liberty. Your dad, especially. He’s a successful man, Cole.” She exhaled. “He wouldn’t have cut his career short to marry your mom.” Her voice fell, and a sense of control returned to the moment. “It’s what he would’ve done in this situation if he had been your age.”
“No, it’s not.” Cole gripped the steering wheel and for a few seconds he looked out the driver’s-side window. Please, God, let her see how serious I am. He turned back to her. “My dad gave up his life to love my mom and take care of me.” Cole turned so he could face her fully. He pressed his shoulder into the seat. “I don’t have his blood in my veins, but he’ll be my father till the day I die.”
Elise still looked confused. “You really think your dad would’ve given up his school and training, at our age, to marry your mom?”
“Of course.” Finally she was getting it.
But instead she shook her head. “The timing was different.” Elise’s tone started to rise, but she brought it back down again. “Ask him, Cole. Ask your mom. What would they do in our situation?” She lifted her hands and let them fall into her lap. “Maybe your mom would’ve chosen adoption if she’d only been eighteen. And maybe your dad would’ve kept in touch. Been a friend to her. But I can’t see him giving up his calling to be a firefighter.”
Cole turned toward the windshield again. Was that what he was doing? Giving up his college career? His chance at being a doctor? Online classes were just as good. They had to be. At least for the first few years. Maybe he would talk to his papa. See if being in a classroom really mattered. He looked at her again, but he had no words. This was supposed to be the best night of his life.
He still wanted it to be.
She adjusted her position. “This baby, this pregnancy . . .” She put her free hand on her belly as her voice fell. “It’s my problem to figure out.” She didn’t look sad or upset. But there was no wavering in her tone. “I’ve been so confused, Cole. Some days I think about what you’re offering and it’s all I want. You beside me when the baby is born, the two of us making a life for ourselves. Getting married.”
“Exactly.” Cole didn’t feel as convinced as before. Like he was confused, also. More than he’d been willing to admit. Still, his offer stood.
Elise sighed. “No, Cole. When I’m thinking straight I know there’s nothing right about that plan. We barely just met.” She took hold of his hand again. “Honestly, I’m not ready to be a mom.”
Cole stared straight ahead, his other hand still on the steering wheel. For a long time he said nothing, just let her words hang in his heart for a bit.
She broke the silence first. “I’ve made up my mind.” Her voice was softer now. “I’m going to call an attorney your aunt told me about. He manages adoptions. She gave me his business card when I went back to her clinic . . .”
He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “Elise, you should give it some time. You can’t undo a decision like adoption.” Cole still couldn’t believe they were discussing this now. He studied her and tried to understand. What could’ve brought this up tonight? And then it hit him. The answer was there in her eyes. Kind and tender, deeper than the ocean. Until now their relationship had spun around her. But now . . . now she loved him as much as he loved her. That was it.
And this decision, it was her way of caring for him, loving him.
She smoothed her dress and smiled at him. “I want you to be at Liberty in the fall.” Her smile was as genuine as springtime. She ran her thumb along the top of his hand. “You’re going to be a doctor, Cole.”
He didn’t respond right away. There was freedom in this new plan of hers, freedom for them to pursue their dreams. But still Cole wasn’t sure. Something about marrying her by Christmastime sounded wonderful. The stuff movies were made of. He reached across the console and took her other hand. “I just want to say it again.” He looked deep into her beautiful eyes. “My dad would’ve done whatever it took to love my mom. To love me.” He had never been more sure. “And I want to be the same kind of man.”
They’d each said what they needed to say. Cole checked the time on his phone and then he grinned at her. “Come on, Princess. I gotta get you to the dance.”
“Yes.” She giggled and the mood lifted. He opened the door and jogged around to her side. As she stepped out she put her hand on his cheek. “Thanks for listening.”
His knees trembled, and not because of the chilly late March evening air. He wanted to kiss her so bad he could barely think. Deep breath, Cole. Get to the dance. His silent pep talk helped him. He took a step back, grinned and took her hand. “Thanks for talking.” He wove his fingers between hers. As they set out across the parking lot, he kept the pace easy. “Now . . . for the next three hours, no talking, all right?”
She laughed. “What are we going to do?”
Cole let his head fall back, the joy from earlier filling him again. “We’re going to dance, Elise.” The night was going to be okay, after all. “Until the very last song.”
And that’s just what they did. They took a break only when he and Carolyn Everly were named prom king and queen. Up onstage, as they were getting their crowns, Carolyn whispered in his direction. “I knew it would be you.” Her smile was more genuine than flirty. Carolyn was aware of Elise. “I don’t know any other guy like you, Cole.”
Her compliment touched his heart. Being with Carolyn was as natural as breathing. The two of them had grown up together. Their classmates were clapping, cheering, and the photographer was motioning for them to get closer.
“Hold hands,” he told them. “This is for the yearbook.”
Cole took Carolyn’s hand and they both posed for the picture. After, while they were still on the stage, they faced each other. “You look pretty, Carolyn.” It was true. There was something timeless about Carolyn. She was a good girl from a good family. In the back of Cole’s mind he had always pictured marrying someone like Carolyn one day.
But that was before Elise.
They shared a hug and before they parted ways, Carolyn’s eyes lit up. “Wait! I forgot to tell you!” Whatever her news, happiness spilled from her. Before Cole could ask what it was, Carolyn blurted it out. “I’m going to Liberty. I got my acceptance letter yesterday!” He could tell she wasn’t trying to make things awkward between them. “Looks like we’ll get another four years together.”
Any other day, any other time and this would’ve been the best news and Cole would’ve celebrated. But he could feel Elise watching from somewhere in the crowd, so he kept his response tame. “Wow, that’s amazing!” Cole took a step back. The crowns were still on both their heads. “Let’s talk later.” He pointed to the dance floor. “I . . . I have to go.”
If Carolyn was disappointed in his response, she didn’t show it. Everyone thought she was the sweetest, prettiest, most popular girl at Clear Creek High. And besides, Carolyn didn’t have feelings for Cole, that much was certain. After all, she was here with Burke Ballinger, senior quarterback. She gave Cole a quick wave and danced down the steps to the spot where her date was waiting for her. Cole watched Burke take her in his arms. Whatever he was saying, one thing was sure.
He was smitten with Carolyn Everly.
Were the two dating? Cole let his look linger a bit longer. Maybe they were. The idea would’ve bugged him before, but not now. Not when he was here with—
A shot of fear ran through him. Elise! Where was she?
The prom king and queen process had taken far too long. He scanned the dance floor and found her leaning against the
back wall. Their eyes met, and as soon as Cole saw her understanding smile, relief flooded his heart. He hurried to her and led her to the dance floor, where they stayed until the very last song. Never mind Carolyn Everly or Liberty or his title as prom king. Years from now there was only one thing he would remember about tonight’s prom.
The way it felt to have Elise Walker in his arms.
15
Elise waited till Tuesday afternoon to visit the lawyer. Cole had a baseball game in Indianapolis that day. He wouldn’t be home till eight or later. Already Elise had spoken by phone with the man—Alan Green.
“I want to place my baby for adoption,” Elise had said during their call. She used the wording from the lawyer’s website. A girl didn’t give up her baby. She placed the baby in an adoptive home. Elise liked that. It was something she could do for her baby. More intentional.
The attorney sounded kind and patient. “You’ll have time to change your mind.” His tone was warm, like the way she pictured the gentle waves on some distant Caribbean shore. “It’s important that this is your decision, Elise. Only yours.”
She explained that she had no way to get to his office. Her aunt and uncle didn’t know about the baby and she had no one else. Of course she wouldn’t think of having Cole or his mother take her. Like Mr. Green had said, this was a choice she had to make on her own.
So the attorney had arranged for Helen, his secretary, to pick up Elise this afternoon, at the park across the street from school. Her stomach had hurt all day. She was sure about her decision, but that didn’t make it easy. Elise was waiting in the meeting spot near the park entrance when she felt something sudden and fluttery.
Like butterfly wings on the inside of her stomach.
At first she thought maybe it was hunger pains. But then it happened again and Elise gasped. It was her baby! The doctor had said she’d be feeling it move soon. So that’s what this had to be. As if her baby were crying out to her, Don’t place me somewhere else. Please keep me.
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