“This was a smart idea,” Ned said as Ian set two plates on the table. Each was covered by a steak that extended over the sides.
“Yeah, the fog lifted just in time to grill.”
“And we don’t have to beg a meal off of Mac.” Ned sliced his baked potato lengthwise.
“That too. When are those women leaving?”
Ned looked up. “I don’t know. It was supposed to be a long weekend, but they don’t seem to be in any hurry to leave. Does it matter?”
“I—damn, listen to that wind. Guess we better shutter the windows after dinner.”
“Yeah, okay. You know if you’d thin out some of the damn trees, you’d wouldn’t have so much trouble with the wind. Plus, you’d have a view of the ocean.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“And you wouldn’t have to worry so much about falling limbs.”
“True.”
“So why do you want to know when they’re leaving? Is that CEO still annoying you?”
“No. Just curious.”
“Ay, well, I don’t know. Lillo’s barely talking to me.”
“I thought you two were getting along.”
“For a minute. She pisses me off. Just sitting around here when she could be practicing medicine. But nothing I say changes her mind. I don’t know why she has to be so damn stubborn.”
“She’s not stubborn.”
“No? What would you call it?”
“She’s afraid.”
Ned put down his fork. “Neurotic, maybe.”
“You don’t get it. And I’m really glad for you. You’ve probably never felt paralyzing fear.”
Ned had been scared plenty of times. But not so that it paralyzed him. He couldn’t imagine Ian not being able to act. Was that what Lillo’s problem was? And he’d called her a coward.
“It’s not like fear that you get from something specific, like people are afraid of the water, or being in a car accident. It’s not a thing you can describe, but it’s always there, knowing that if you stop paying attention even for a blink of an eye, one split nanosecond, you’ll be sucked into a black nothingness that has no end and no escape.” Ian swallowed.
“You’re not going to get trapped in any black hole.”
“You still don’t get it. It’s not the fear of not being able to escape, it’s the fear of not wanting to.”
Ian was right. Ned didn’t understand it. He’d never felt he was losing himself or his grip on the world. He was just an ordinary pragmatist, with an average grip on life. He was a good surgeon. But there were a lot of good surgeons. He did volunteer work with the hospital, but he knew that his reason, or at least his initial reason, for doing it was so that he’d have more freedom.
“I kissed her.”
Ned jolted back to the conversation. “What? Wait. You kissed Lillo?”
Ian shook his head. “The CEO.”
Ned put down his fork, leaned forward on his elbows. “Well, good for you. When did this happen? I mean, it’s none of my business, but …”
“This morning.”
“We’ve been here all afternoon and you didn’t mention it?”
“I wasn’t going to mention it at all. It kind of slipped out.”
“Okay, so you kissed her and … ?”
“Well, actually, she kissed me. I was so startled I just sort of kissed her back.”
“When did you even see her? Don’t tell me she came for a riding lesson in that fog.”
Ian shrugged. “I’d had to go out on a call, you had the SUV, so I took Loki. Just up the road to Nehemiah Jensen’s. I was coming back and I nearly hit her. I guess she was on her way to the stables but she’d gotten disoriented.
“If Loki hadn’t sensed her and shied, I would have trampled her.” He shuddered.
“Jesus, she didn’t really think you would take her out riding in heavy fog?”
“I didn’t ask.”
“So, then you … ?”
“I jumped down to make sure she was all right. And I pulled her to her feet and she kissed me.”
“Right, and then you kissed her back, and then she kissed you back and … ?”
“And I put her up behind me and took her back to Lillo’s.”
Ned turned away, turned back. He’d known from the get-go the CEO would be trouble, and as it turned out he’d been right.
“What was I supposed to do?”
Ned picked up his knife and fork, cut into his steak. Ordered himself to keep his mouth shut. Stay out of it. Best to let her leave without rocking Ian’s boat, it was rocky enough as it was. “I don’t know. Give her a chance. Make love to her knowing it’s going to end in a couple of days and enjoy it for what it’s worth.”
“Shit, man. It’s not like that.”
“Aw, crap. What’s it like, then?”
“Damned if I know.” Ian speared a piece of steak and inspected it with more intensity than it deserved. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like her.”
“That I can believe,” Ned said. “Sorry, you’re right. If you think you can’t do casual, then you should stay away from her. To expect anything else is asking for trouble.”
“I know, that’s why I told her not to come back.” Ian put his fork back on his plate. “God, I really told her not to come back.” He shoved the plate away. “What else could I do?”
Ned stared at him. Shit. Shit. Shit. Ian finally is ready to show interest in another being—let’s call it what it is, a woman—and it has to be a loudmouth pushy business mogul from Manhattan. He’d laugh but it was just too damn sad.
Chapter 23
Lillo stretched as the morning sun poured through the window, bathing her in warmish light. A perfect day for sightseeing. A perfect day for not seeing Ned at the clinic. For Diana to get away from Ian.
She sat up just as Diana came through the front door.
“Where have you been?”
“In the parking lot talking to the car rental place.” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “If my friends could see me now. Wait. They can.” She twirled around and headed for the kitchen.
Lillo followed her over. “Did they have a car?” She’d never seen Diana quite so effervescent. Was she anticipating going home, or just pretending like she had forgotten all about riding and Ian?
“Yep; said we could pick it up this afternoon. Is the place far?”
“Not really, we’ll just end our sightseeing tour in that direction and you can follow us back to the island.”
“Great.” Diana poured out two cups of coffee.
Allie and Jess showed up minutes later. Everyone seemed bright and enthusiastic at breakfast. Maybe too enthusiastic? Lillo thought that in spite of all the drama, they’d had a good time. Maybe they were anxious to leave, maybe they weren’t.
It didn’t matter. Today they were just going to enjoy themselves. Without Ned. Without Ian, without Jess’s parents or Allie’s family. Just four girls on the lam. It would be fun.
In a few days they’d return home. Ned and the bikers would leave. Move on to the next town and the next until jobs and families called them home. And things on the island would settle down to the way they had been. Lillo would prepare the flower beds for fall, do the occasional errand, and wait for another Maine winter. Which normally she would look forward to … Maybe she’d take up knitting.
“What’s so funny?” Jess asked, stretching over with the coffeepot to refill Lillo’s mug.
“Nothing, you guys about ready to hit the road?”
“Almost,” Allie said. “Should we take jackets?”
“Always in Maine. I’ll just run over to let Mac know we’re leaving.”
A few minutes later they all climbed into the van and Lillo drove through town toward the bridge to the mainland.
“I thought we’d drive along the coast for a ways. There’s some good shopping and several really good places to eat. Anything else you want to see or do?”
“Sounds great,” Allie said.
&
nbsp; “And it will be a day away from those little thugs,” Diana said, gesturing to a group of boys standing on the corner.
As Lillo approached the intersection the boys stepped off the curb and into the street. Lillo slammed on the brakes.
The boys, looking studiously sullen, sauntered across.
“Or I may kill them first.” Diana unfastened her seat belt.
“What are you going to do?” Allie and Jess yelled from the back seat.
The kids reached the front of the car. Tommy Clayton turned and smirked at them.
Diana rolled down her window and stuck her head out. “You sure would look funny with our bumper up your butt.”
Several of the boys flinched and sped up. Tommy stuck his hand out to stop them, but they scurried across the street and he did, too.
“I can’t believe you said that,” Lillo said.
“Screamed it for the whole town to hear,” Jess said. “Priceless.”
“My nana always yelled that,” Diana said. “And it always worked.”
“Very effective,” Lillo said. “I may have to borrow it sometime.”
“Be my guest.”
“He’s only eleven?” Allie said.
“Yeah, I know,” Lillo said. “Seven whole years before he leaves town and one of the younger ones takes his place.”
The boys finally reached the other side of the street and Lillo drove forward.
“A vicious cycle,” Jess said. “Hey, isn’t that little Bobby with them?”
Lillo looked out the window at the boys walking up the middle of the cross street. “Looks like it. He’s supposed to be at the community center. His mother works full-time and so does the father. Actually, they should all be at the center.”
“They’re going to grow up to be those old men sitting in the general store rocking and reminiscing about the good old days,” Diana said. “Totally forgetting they were the little shits who grew up to be bigger and older shits.”
“Thank you, Diana,” said Lillo. “I believe we all get the point.”
“Well, it’s true. Once a bully, always a bully. Isn’t that right, Jess?”
“Yep. Pretty much always,” Jess said, turning forward in her seat. “These kids have way too much get-into-trouble time. They could use a good camp.”
Lillo glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “Well, don’t look at me. That ship has sailed.”
Lillo took the eastern fork that would keep them close to the ocean. They drove in and out of woods, along cliffs, then dipped down to rocky beaches. They stopped at scenic lookouts, browsed through two quaint antiques malls, bought moose scarves in honor of their almost road trip, ate lobster rolls walking along the brick streets of an old fishing village.
Jess made Diana and Allie try homemade whoopie pies. They sat at a round picnic table chewing and licking marshmallow cream off their fingers while Jess reminisced about her days in camp, conveniently remembering the good parts and glossing over the majority of events that were anything but good.
Lillo smiled, inwardly amazed at how the past could take on the mood of the way you were feeling in the present.
“Didn’t we, Lillo?” Jess asked.
“Didn’t we what?” Lillo asked, brought back from her own reminiscing.
“Take the skiff out to the marshes and get stuck in the mud. It was so disgusting. We had to tromp through the mud, I swear it was like quicksand. And the smell. Ugh. I can still remember it.”
Yeah, Lillo remembered. They’d both been given a good talking-to. Jess was sent back to her cabin to think about responsibility—carrying a huge care package sent by one of her mother’s secretaries. Lillo was sent to scrub the drying mud from the boat.
Even then she hadn’t resented it. It wasn’t about punishment. It hardly ever was with her parents. It was about taking responsibility. Like they’d told Jess. Lillo had thought Jess would have learned more by helping to clean the boat. But they didn’t dare treat the campers in any way that could be considered punishment. Many of the parents were of the same ilk as the Parkers.
Lillo’s parents loved kids, loved the opportunity to share their enthusiasm for living a healthy life in a place they thought the most beautiful place in the world. They’d hoped Lillo would carry on their legacy, run the camp herself. But they’d sold it all.
Now they had no camp and no doctor. And hadn’t seen their daughter in over a year.
A cloud passed over the sun. At first Lillo thought it was her changing mood, then realized it was the sky.
“We’d better get a move on. Looks like there’s more weather coming our way.”
They gathered up their trash and hurried back to the van. They left the coast and took a county road to the rental place, where Diana and Allie picked up their car, then followed the van to Lighthouse Beach.
This time when they crossed the bridge, no one commented on the sign that said their lives would never be the same. They were in two separate cars, already breaking up. About to go their separate ways.
When they reached Main Street, Diana beeped and turned left. Lillo continued to the town parking lot.
“Probably stopping for more wine and cheese,” Lillo said.
“Ugh.” Jess crossed her arms across her stomach. “I don’t think I’ll ever eat again. My stomach must have really shrunk.” She sighed. “At last, Mother would be so proud.”
“Are you feeling any qualms about your decision?”
“Nope. For the first time since that whole horrible wedding thing began, I’m actually enjoying myself, eating and drinking what I want, and I still fit into my clothes.”
“It has only been a week,” Lillo reminded her.
“I know. But I feel like I’m really in control of my own destiny. Well, you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I do. And I’m happy for you.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What are you going to do when Allie and Diana leave?”
“Go back to doing what I did before they came. What about you?”
Jess looked thoughtful. “I’m not really sure. And for once, that’s a good thing.”
Was it? Diana and Allie were already making preparations to go back to their lives. Jess didn’t have a life to go back to. So did she have a plan? Or was she planning to stay?
Ned glanced out the clinic window as he and Clancy and Agnes finished cleaning up the examination rooms for the day. They’d been here a week. There was more to do, but they were scheduled to travel to another town starting Monday. The group had decided to spend their two days off in Lighthouse Beach. They usually did. Clancy was born and raised here, and several of the guys had made real connections with their host families. And the new guys were always made to feel at home.
Ned had spent his teenage years here and he felt like his second family was here. He cared about what happened in the town. But as far as helping Lillo get back on her feet, time was running out. If she stayed out of her residency much longer, it would be a long uphill battle to go back.
Maybe she just didn’t want to go back, didn’t have what it took to be a surgeon. Maybe she just didn’t care enough to fight for it.
Well, he’d give her space, spend a little time with Ian, and then hit the road. Summer was short enough without wasting it on someone who didn’t want your concern.
The phone rang. Ned groaned. It always happened. An emergency on Friday just before you’re leaving for the day.
While Ned and Clancy stood by, watching her, Agnes picked up the phone. “Lighthouse Free Clinic.” At first she only listened, but Ned could hear a frantic voice at the other end of the line. She put her hand over the receiver and mouthed, “It’s Lou Trader. Bobby’s missing.”
Ned looked at Clancy, who shook his head. Ned took the phone from Agnes. “Mrs. Trader. This is Dr. Hartley.”
“Oh, Doc. We can’t find him. I don’t know where to look. And Flynn is off to work still.”
“Okay, where are yo
u now?”
“I’m at the community center. I came to pick him up. But they said he wasn’t here. That he hadn’t been here. But I left him here this morning. He’s supposed to be here. Why ain’t he here?”
“Mrs. Trader, Lou, take a deep breath. When did you last see him?”
“I dropped him off at the side door when I left for my job at the Laundromat. That was around eight thirty this morning. Sada’s car was here and some others. I told him to go straight inside. I didn’t go in with him ’cause we were running late. I should have waited.” She started to cry.
“And Sada hasn’t seen him at all?”
“Said he never came in, but I left him right there at the door.”
“Did you search the building? Maybe he came in and fell asleep somewhere.”
“We did. Twice. People are out looking around the neighborhood. And Sada’s started the phone chain. I know that something awful has happened.”
“Is Joey missing, too?”
“No, he had speech therapy on the mainland, the bus dropped him off at the community center afterward. He hasn’t seen his brother since this morning. What could have happened to him?” She broke down completely and Sada came on the phone.
“Doc?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so glad I caught you before you left. I’ve called almost the whole list. No one’s seen him. Least that they’re saying. I’m having people meet and report to the center and expand the search from here. Mike and Sal are leading the search in town. Junior Nomes for the surrounding area.”
“And is Mrs. Trader sure he didn’t just go home?”
“Barbara Carroll volunteered to take Joey home and stay with him in case Bobby comes back. You know these kids, they’re running off all the time. They usually return in time for dinner, but with the wind advisory, it could be dangerous if he’s out in the elements. I just didn’t think we should wait. I was hoping maybe you had seen him. I know he sometimes goes to ask Agnes for a lollipop.”
Agnes’s hand flew to her mouth. She shook her head.
“We haven’t seen him today. What about the other kids? Have any of them seen him?”
“The ones we could reach haven’t. It may be nothing, and I’ll personally tan his hide if he’s causing us all this worry for nothing. I—” She lowered her voice. “He’s so enamored with that Tommy Clayton and his gang. I should have nipped that in the bud, but what can you do? I called the Clayton house but no one’s home.” Her next sentence was even quieter and sounded like she had placed her hand over the receiver. “I even have men searching down by the beach.”
Lighthouse Beach Page 29
