“I don’t think I should trust you to be my ride anymore.”
“Hey…I thought you weren’t mad.”
“I’m just teasing.” She took a sip of her coffee. “But I’m not going to go to the brunch anyway.”
“Why? Were you up too late too?”
Megan knew she should just say yes and call it good, but even that response would lead to more. Lisa would want to know what had happened last night between Megan and Tyler, and then she’d have to tell her everything. But she knew that’s where it was headed anyway. “That’s not why. I’ve just…had as much catching up as I can handle. I’m done.”
“Oh, my God. What the hell happened last night after I left?”
Megan inhaled and said, “Nothing you need to worry about. Trust me. I just…don’t want to do anything else involving the reunion.”
“Oh, no. You’re not blowing me off like that, Megan. I’m coming right over.” Megan heard Lisa’s phone hang up and she debated getting dressed as originally planned and then leaving before Lisa could arrive. But she knew her friend and reconciled herself to the fact that she might as well just get it over with now.
Chapter Fourteen
MEGAN MUST HAVE known it would come to this. After all, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d drunk an entire pot of coffee by herself, long night or not.
She and Lisa sat at her kitchen table. Lisa looked tired but happier than she had in months. She had a twinkle in her blue eyes that Megan hadn’t seen in a long time. But Megan also saw concern in her friend’s eyes for herself, and she wondered how she could make it disappear. Lisa was going to be late for the brunch, and it would be all Megan’s fault.
“So, Meg, tell me what’s so bad that you’re refusing to go to the rest of the reunion. I mean, when I left, you and Tyler looked all snuggly and…stuff.”
Megan smiled and sipped her coffee. “I just…realized that things will never work out between the two of us.”
“What do you mean? Did you guys have an argument or something last night?”
“No.”
“Well, what…?” Lisa set her coffee cup down.
Megan shook her head. “It’s just stupid to pursue something like that.”
Lisa was silent for a moment and then said, “Oh, my God. You did, didn’t you?”
Megan tried to look innocent, but goddammit. Lisa knew her too well. Still, she had to try. “Did what?”
“You guys did the deed, didn’t you? The horizontal mambo?” Megan felt the blush crawling up her neck to her cheeks long before it showed. It didn’t matter. Lisa knew anyway. “My God, you did.” Megan’s friend dropped her voice. “So did it suck? Is that it? Or is he…smaller than you’d remembered? Or has he been a little too pre-owned?”
“Jesus, Lisa, nothing like that.”
“So how the fuck was it? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”
Megan smiled but rubbed her forehead. Why couldn’t Lisa ever just let anything be easy? “The point is not how it was. The point is that he’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. The entire point is how it was. If it sucked, you probably wouldn’t care.” Megan shrugged her shoulders. Maybe what Lisa was saying was true. “So how was it?”
Megan allowed herself to think about last night’s events. She’d been avoiding it because her heart was in a fragile place. But she’d already withheld enough from Lisa. “It was…really incredible. I, uh…I wasn’t ready, and he was so patient. He gave me this backrub that was insane.”
“Erotic, huh?”
“No. Just really…incredible. Intense. It was after that…he just…” She couldn’t put it into words, but she didn’t know that she wanted to tell Lisa every little thing. “No, we were just kids back then, you know, and everything then was fun, no matter how awkward or bad we were. But now…he was…” She cleared her throat and took another sip of her coffee. “Let’s just say he rocked my world.”
Lisa smiled. “Sounds like he left you pretty tongue-tied too. So now after an incredible evening of lovemaking, you’ve decided to just let him go.”
“I don’t have a choice, Leese. He’s got his world, and I’ve got mine. I knew that before I slept with him, no matter how stupid I thought it was to begin with.”
“No. It doesn’t have to be that way, Meg. Did you tell him how you feel?”
Megan sighed and finished the coffee in her mug. “No way. No way in hell. I’m sure I was just a fun little trip down memory lane until he returns to his big life. He wanted some nostalgia, and I was able to provide it.”
Lisa sat back in her chair and scoffed. “You should hear yourself. I know you’ve become more cynical over the years, but wow. Poor Tyler didn’t stand a chance. Seriously. How do you know you’re just a fling to him?”
Megan was quiet for a little bit and then stood to fill her cup back up with more coffee. With her back to Lisa, she said, “I don’t want to hear it from him. I feel like my heart’s already broken. I don’t want to risk it.”
Lisa waited until Megan sat back down again. “You know that’s stupid, don’t you?”
“I don’t care. I need to protect myself.”
Lisa shrugged but said nothing, swallowing the last of her coffee. “Well, suit yourself. If you decide to come, I promise I won’t let you out of my sight.” She waited until Megan made eye contact, then said, “Will you come along for the hike?” Megan had dug in her heels. She just looked at Lisa and shook her head. “Fine, but you have to come to dinner tonight.”
“No, Leese. I can’t do it.”
“But Madversary’s going to be playing. It’s like a free concert!” Megan continued to shake her head and say nothing. “You can just come watch and then leave. He’ll be onstage. He’ll never see you.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Come on, Megan. The dinner’s at the hotel, but the dance is gonna be at the gym in the high school. You could sneak in and out…”
“No. It’s final.” And Megan meant it.
Chapter Fifteen
MEGAN’S RESOLVE HAD been strong all day long. After Lisa had left to go to what remained of the brunch, Megan walked to the library as planned. It was hot out, but being uncomfortable helped take her mind off her worries.
She checked out a couple of books and spent the afternoon on the couch, getting involved in fictional lives and problems. But she could never fully lose herself in those stories. She found her mind drifting back to her own life.
Lisa called late afternoon and Megan answered the phone against her better judgment. “Damn it, Megan. Tyler tracked me down and asked me if I knew where you were. And shit. He’s cuter and sweeter than I remembered. I almost gave him your phone number. Please stop making me the bad guy. He kept asking me what he’d done wrong last night.”
Megan felt a little guilty. Maybe Lisa was right. Maybe she should just tell Tyler how she felt, because he hadn’t done anything wrong. But at least by telling him what she was thinking, if it did turn out to be just a fling as she’d suspected it would be, they would leave on good terms…just like last time. But she said nothing.
“Besides, Randy has to miss part of the dinner and I don’t want to sit by myself. You’ve already paid for it, so you might as well get your money’s worth.”
Megan sighed. “Lisa, I never wanted to go to this thing in the first place. And don’t you want to talk to other people besides Randy? You didn’t go to the reunion just for him, did you?”
Lisa was quiet for a moment until she said, “No, but we’ve reconnected on an intense level, Meg. It’s like we’re soul partners or something. I can’t believe we never got together in high school. It’s weird.”
“I’m happy for you, Lisa, but…”
“But what?”
“What happens when he leaves?”
“So he leaves. I know that’s gonna happen, and I don’t care. I know he’s got his own life and I’ve got mine, but I want to enjoy it while I can. I can e
ither mourn the fact that he’s leaving tomorrow or I can eat him up while he’s here. I choose to have fun while I can.” She sighed. “And I think you should too.”
Megan let Lisa’s words sink in. She knew her friend was right. Choosing not to see Tyler again was not only cowardly, but it was letting her circumstances rule her life rather than choosing to run it herself. And she really did want to see him again, when she looked deep inside herself. She took a deep breath. She had the books for two weeks. If he left tomorrow and she felt empty then, well, she had plenty to keep her mind occupied. Only now, at least, she was already into the books and would be able to get lost more easily. “Fine. But I didn’t get anything formal and I refuse to wear anything over the top.”
Lisa squealed. “Well, I’m not gonna wear anything overly formal either. You should know me better than that.”
“Do you want me to drive this time?”
“I don’t care. Randy’s got a rental car if I need it.”
“I used the cab this morning. They cost a little, but they’re faster than you’d think. So, really, I don’t care.”
“I would love your support…. Dinner starts at seven, so I’ll be by your place around six-thirty, okay?”
Megan couldn’t believe she was doing it, so she just said, “See you then.”
And then her stomach started doing flip flops. She was going to see Tyler again. Her heart soared, eager to be with him once more. It was those feelings that scared her and made her realize just how much she was setting herself up for a fall, but she didn’t know what else to do to stop herself from hitting the ground. Maybe a fall was just what she needed.
* * *
Megan walked inside the hotel with Lisa once again. She’d settled on a little black dress, something not formal at all but something she knew would be good enough. It had the tiniest of sleeves, just an inch of flowing fabric, but the dress itself fit her like a glove, showing off her thin waist and accenting the curves of her breasts and hips. The skirt, though, was what made the dress. It had multiple overlapping layers of sheer black fabric that ended around the knees, creating a wispy, ethereal look. And she wore black high heels, something she rarely did, but she wanted to look sexy. Tyler had commented last night on how desirable she’d looked in something conservative, so she wanted him to feast his eyes on her wearing something meant to impress.
And then she felt nervous again. Having blown off the entire day, would Tyler even care at this point? Megan knew it could go either way. But she’d made no promises when she’d last seen him, so she hoped he could forgive her for having disappeared for the day. He’d asked if he’d see her later. Well, didn’t dinner count? If he asked, well…she wasn’t sure what she’d say. She didn’t want to tell him how torn she’d been earlier.
But as the two women entered the large room they’d been in the night before now converted to be a dining space, she couldn’t see Tyler anywhere. Granted, the place was packed not only with former classmates but their spouses too, but Tyler was a little taller than most and Megan thought he’d stand out. Or maybe he hadn’t planned on attending the dinner and she would have known if she’d gone to the brunch or the hike.
But she wasn’t going to let any of her disappointment show on her face. The only thing that would make her lose it entirely would be if there was an announcement that Madversary wouldn’t play at the show tonight. That would cause her to freak out. Otherwise, she could sit tight and wait.
There were lots of round tables in the room, all decked out in crisp burgundy linen tablecloths adorned with white candles. As they started walking around the room, Lisa and Megan looked for empty seats. Megan saw black fabric napkins at each place setting, folded to look like a fan. There were also goblets at each setting, along with carafes of water. The reunion committee had done a nice job, and well they should, considering how much everyone had paid to attend.
Lisa pointed to a table halfway through the room that only had one couple. “Wanna sit there?”
“Yeah.” Megan was okay with not being a social butterfly. She glanced at the couple seated on the other side of the table and smiled. The guy looked a little familiar, but she didn’t recognize the woman. She knew if the man had more hair on his head, she’d recognize him, but no such luck. Well, she recognized him now; she just couldn’t recall his name or how she knew him. Was he someone who had been in a class with her or someone she’d just passed in the hall on a daily basis? Did he remember her? What was worse was there were quite a few people at the reunion she’d had the same reaction to. But this poor guy…not even thirty and he’d lost half his hair. But his wife didn’t seem to mind. She sat close to him and looked enamored.
Lisa and Megan sat across from the couple and Megan made a point of smiling at them. She didn’t want to seem standoffish or rude, even if she couldn’t remember them. She looked around the room once more, verifying there was no sign of Tyler. She asked Lisa, “So when is Randy supposed to show up?”
“I think he said he won’t be at the dinner at all. He’s going to try to meet us at the high school later.”
“What’s he got goin’ on a Saturday night?”
Lisa shrugged. “I didn’t ask. None of my business.”
Megan felt her eyebrows climb up her forehead. She lowered her voice. “He had his dick in you last night, Lisa. I don’t think it would be super-nosy to just ask.”
Lisa couldn’t help but smile. She turned to Megan and whispered, “Yeah, well, I don’t know him or his dick enough yet to feel comfortable asking where he is every little second.”
Megan shrugged and nodded her head. “Yeah, I get that, but he’s here for his high school reunion, for God’s sake. Wouldn’t he want to be part of all of it?”
Lisa smirked. “You didn’t.”
The smile slid off Megan’s face, but she wasn’t angry. “I didn’t want to do this in the first place if you’ll recall. You’re lucky I’ve showed for anything.”
Lisa stuck her tongue out and grabbed a carafe of water, pouring it into the larger goblet in front of her. The man across from them said, “Megan Walker and Lisa French, right?”
Both women nodded. Lisa was drinking from her glass, but Megan said, “Yep. I’m afraid I can’t recall your name, though.”
“Ben Regan…Benny. We were in—”
“Biology and physics together. Yeah. Two classes I’d just as soon forget. But I passed them. I remember you, Benny. How’ve you been?”
“Great. This is my wife Amanda.” The wife nodded on cue. “We’re expecting our first child.”
Megan smiled and nodded. She hardly remembered Benny. In fact, all she could recall was that he was one of the smartest guys in their class. “Congratulations.”
“So are you two still single?”
Lisa said, “Afraid so. It’s not so bad, though.”
Megan really did believe the sentiment that being single wasn’t so bad, but she knew Lisa couldn’t buy it. It was a lie her friend told herself to make herself feel better. Megan didn’t want to marry until she knew she was with the right man, and she was beginning to think there was no such thing. She’d already reconciled herself to it. She’d rather be single than stuck with the wrong guy and kids to boot, and it had been starting to feel like there was no right guy.
Penny Austin saved them from more awkward conversation. There was a small mike at the head of the room and she began talking into it. “Hello, everyone. I hope you’re all having a great time here. We’re getting ready to start. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourselves as much as I have. Anyway, your servers will be around shortly to fill up your drinks and serve you food. You have a choice of beef or chicken. If you don’t want either, there are a small number of vegetarian entrees. Just ask if that’s what you need. Anyway, when we’re done here, we’ll head over to the high school….”
Penny prattled on but Megan found herself tuning out again. All the reunion had done was depress her. Sure, it was kind of interesting to see how people had ch
anged, but the novelty of that had already worn off. And then she realized…she was suffering from Lisa syndrome. She would have been perfectly content if Tyler was there. And he wasn’t. And she was going to have to spend the next two hours listening to talk of Benny’s job teaching science at a high school in another state. She should’ve listened to her instincts and stayed the hell home.
Chapter Sixteen
IN THE SPAN of five minutes, three more people had joined their table and they’d been served salad and rolls. The three other people at the table were women who had belonged to the clique of the second-most popular girls in the school. They hadn’t changed much in the last decade. And they’d been friendly enough tonight, introducing themselves to everyone at the table. The girl named Jasmine had remembered everyone else at the table—Megan, Lisa, and Benny. Megan was impressed by that. The woman seemed genuinely interested in everyone else. Jasmine had started telling them that she was now a registered nurse and working at Memorial Hospital in Colorado Springs until her other two friends pulled her back into their more intimate conversation. Just as well, Megan thought. They’d all be going their separate ways again tomorrow.
Lisa touched Megan’s forearm with her cool fingers. Megan looked at her and she said, “Look, Meg, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not an option.”
Megan tried to look innocent. “What?”
“I know you’re considering ditching the dance afterward, and it’s not going to happen.”
Megan stabbed a cucumber slice with her fork. No use pretending with Lisa. “You wouldn’t even care if Randy was there.”
“That’s not true. He is going to be there, but I know…”
“Know what?”
“I know something special happened between you and Tyler, and I think you need to finish what you started.”
Megan scoffed. “I didn’t start anything. It was one thing, one night, okay? That’s it.” She didn’t know that she believed it, but she had to try.
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