by Elena Aitken
Tears streamed down her face and she didn’t even hear the chimes over the door when they opened and Cal came in. It wasn’t until his arms were around her, pulling her into a hug, that she registered his presence.
“Milena.” He held her tight and wouldn’t let her turn her head to look at the computer. “I’m so sorry…this shouldn’t have…” He gave up trying to find the words and simply held her, a small thing Milena was intensely grateful for.
They stayed that way for a few moments until finally, Cal spoke. “I really didn’t think she’d do this. I tried to stop her.”
“What?” Milena sniffed and pulled back to look at him. “You tried to stop who?”
“Bridget.” Cal handed her a box of tissue. “She threatened me with leaking these pictures, but I—”
“You knew?”
So many things ran through her head at once. Cal knew about the pictures. How did he know? Why hadn’t he told her? And what the hell did Bridget have to do with it?
“You knew there were pictures?” she asked again when he didn’t answer right away. “When?”
“When what?”
“When did you know about the pictures?” Milena sat up straight and crumpled the tissue in her hand.
“I…well…it was…”
He wouldn’t look at her.
He knew. Nausea rolled through her stomach. How could Cal know about something like this and not say anything?
“When, Cal?”
“Milena, it’s not like…I mean, I didn’t want to tell you.”
She couldn’t sit any longer. Milena pushed back in her chair and jumped to her feet. “Why? Why wouldn’t you want to tell me that someone had private pictures of me? Of us? Especially if you thought for even a minute that they might publish them.” She stalked to the window and turned around. “I don’t understand. You should have warned me.”
“I didn’t want you to know at all.”
Milena whirled around. “What?”
“I didn’t want you to know,” he said again. Cal walked over to her, but she was too worked up to let him touch her. “Milena,” he pleaded. “Don’t be upset with me. I was hoping to take care of this before you even found out. My brothers said that—”
“Your brothers?”
Something flickered on his face and it was clear he hadn’t intended to tell her that part either.
“What do your brothers have to do with this?”
“I asked them for their advice about what to—”
“You should have asked me,” she interrupted him. “This is my life. They’re pictures of me, Cal. If anyone should have a say in what to do, it should be me.”
“Milena.” He reached out for her, but she shook off his touch. “I thought I could handle it. And I did.”
“No.” She whirled around to face him. “You didn’t handle it.” Milena pointed to her computer screen. “Is that handling it? Is that what it’s called when my picture is plastered all over the Internet with headlines about how fat I am? That’s handling it, Cal?”
“I’m sorry, Milena.” Cal tried again to reach out to her. “Gwen helped me come up with a plan that was supposed to take care of everything.”
“Gwen?”
She knew too? Milena shook her head and forced herself not to cry again.
“Yes,” Cal said. “Jade thought that if I—”
“Jade, too?” She couldn’t help the tear that slipped down her cheek. “Did everyone know except me? Did everyone have something to say about my future except for me, Cal? Is this why you blew me off last night? So you could go behind my back and discuss how to hide this from me?”
He opened his mouth but closed it again, which told her everything she needed to know.
Cal dropped his head, and if she hadn’t been so upset, she might actually feel badly for him. But she couldn’t. Not when her heart was breaking. Because not only did he know she was about to be humiliated, he’d kept it from her. They were supposed to be a team. Relationships were partnerships and if they were going to be together, they had to… Maybe they shouldn’t be together? Maybe she couldn’t handle dating a celebrity? Maybe she couldn’t handle being in love with someone who would leave her out of such big decisions?
“I don’t think I can do this.” Her voice was quiet and she worked hard to keep it from breaking. She couldn’t look at him. “I think…I think I need some time.”
“Some time?” He grabbed her arm, and she didn’t bother shaking it off. “What do you mean, you can’t do this? What’s this, Milena? This whole thing with the pictures and Bridget, it has nothing to do with me and you.”
“It has everything to do with us.”
“No.” He shook her arm and she looked at him. “It’s just gossip, Milena. It’s not real.”
Her heart broke. “But you didn’t come to me. You didn’t involve me. You knew how I felt about the tabloids, and how I wanted to stay out of them as long as possible.”
As she spoke the words, she realized for the first time how ridiculous it was to think she could have ever stayed out of the public eye. Not if she was going to be with Cal.
“That’s why I didn’t want to—”
“But you should have.” She shook her head sadly. “A relationship is a partnership, Cal. You can’t do it on your own. You can’t make all the decisions.” She couldn’t look him in the eye. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“No,” he said. “Milena, don’t say that. You can’t say that.”
Something in his voice made her look up again and she immediately wished she hadn’t. There was so much pain and hurt in his eyes, she almost crumbled.
Almost.
But she couldn’t. She wasn’t going to settle again. She wasn’t going to be with someone who didn’t realize that he couldn’t shut her out like that. She couldn’t risk her heart.
Not again.
“Milena.” Cal cupped her chin in her hands. “I love you.”
Hearing him speak the words she’d been feeling inside almost from the moment they’d met broke something inside her. Milena was afraid to breathe, afraid to move, because if she did, she might come apart completely.
“Say something,” he said after a moment.
What she really wanted to say was how much she loved him too. She wanted to tell him that she was strong enough to be with him. That she could handle the tabloids and the gossip as long as they were in it together.
But she couldn’t.
She wasn’t strong enough.
“I’m sorry.” She pulled away from him, and he let her go. “I just can’t.” She turned, put her hands down on the desk in front of her so she wouldn’t fall over, and squeezed her eyes shut.
“Milena. Please.”
She didn’t respond. She kept her eyes squeezed shut and focused on her breath.
In through the nose.
Out through the mouth.
She started counting silently to herself. Every breath in and out was a victory.
Her heart had completely shattered, but she was still breathing.
It wasn’t until she heard his footsteps on the floor and the door shutting behind him that she let herself crumble to the floor and cry.
Cal walked down Main Street only vaguely aware of the other people he passed.
He didn’t have to look in a mirror to know he looked like hell.
His heart had just been ripped from his chest and stomped on. Nothing else was important.
Cal walked aimlessly, unsure of where he was going until finally he stopped in front of the rehearsal space. The last thing he would have thought he wanted to do was work or see anyone related to the show. But as soon as he opened the door, he realized it was exactly what he needed to do.
Taking his mind off the way he’d just confessed his love to Milena only to have her turn away was exactly what he needed because if he had to be alone in his thoughts, replaying those moments over in his head, he might just go crazy.
“Hey man.” By
ron spotted him the moment he walked in. “There you are. Have you seen—”
Cal held up his hand to ward off what he knew his friend was going to say. “Of course I’ve seen it!” he snapped. “Everyone’s seen it. That’s why it’s on the Internet, right? So everyone can see it. And if you read that trash and believe any of it, then you’re just as—”
“Whoa.” Byron took a step back. “That’s not what I was talking about. Of course…yes, I’ve seen that, too. But you should know better than to think I would believe anything that’s printed in Stars Secrets.”
Cal shook his head. “That’s not what you were talking about?”
“No.” Byron laughed. “I was going to ask you if you’ve seen Jade yet today. She said she had something important to tell you.”
“To tell me?”
“That’s what she said.” Together, they walked down the hall to Jade’s office. “I don’t know what about, but I’m willing to bet it has something to do with the head executive being in town.”
“Peter?”
“The one and only.” Byron stopped and stared at him. “Don’t tell me you know him?”
“No.” Cal didn’t know him. Only of him. And of course he knew that the night before Gwen had said she was going to call him and complain about having Bridget on the project.
There was no way he’d gotten up there so quickly based on that phone call.
Was there?
“I mean,” Cal said, “everyone knows Peter Short, right?”
Byron shrugged and kept walking. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of him visiting a set before production even begins. This could be good.” They stopped in front of Jade’s door and Cal knocked. “I’ll catch up with you in a bit.” Byron smacked him on the shoulder. “Good luck.”
“Come in,” Jade’s voice called. “We’ve been expecting you.”
Cal glanced around, but he was standing alone in the hallway. He really had no idea what to expect when he walked inside, but he did know it couldn’t possibly be any worse than what he’d just been through with Milena. If Jade or Peter Short wanted to fire him, they could. It would be far preferable to Milena turning away from him.
He turned the handle and walked inside to see a full office. Gwen, Ian, Jade, and a man who he assumed was Peter Short were all seated around Jade’s table-like desk. Cal glanced behind him again before he walked inside. “Hello?”
“Hi, Cal.” Jade stood and gave him a quick hug before she introduced him. “I don’t think you’ve met Peter Short before.”
“No, I haven’t had the pleasure.” Peter stood and offered his hand, which Cal took in a firm handshake. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”
“Call me Peter. It’s about time I got up here to meet my newest star in the making. Thanks for coming in.”
Cal looked to Jade, who gestured to an empty chair. “I actually didn’t know you were waiting for me.” He took his seat. “I would have been here sooner but…”
He couldn’t finish the statement. He wouldn’t have been there any sooner even if he had known they were all waiting for him. He ran his hand over his face and hoped he didn’t look too haggard.
“Are you okay, Cal?” Ian asked. His older brother’s face was lined with concern.
“As good as I can be,” he said truthfully.
“I can’t believe she sent those terrible pictures in with that story of lies.” It was Gwen who spoke up. She didn’t have to specify who she was. They all knew. As well as Peter Short, apparently.
“We don’t need that kind of publicity,” he said. “I’m not going to lie to you, Cal. I thought it would be a great idea to bring you and Bridget back together for this show.” Cal nodded. “And it was my idea to keep Bridget’s involvement a secret from you.”
Cal tried to keep his face neutral. He didn’t want to lose his job because he thought his boss had a terrible idea.
“And I’m not afraid to tell you, Cal, that I was wrong.”
Cal’s head snapped up. “You were what, sir?”
“It’s Peter.”
Cal nodded.
“I haven’t gotten to where I am today in this industry by making a habit of executing bad decisions,” Peter said. “But that doesn’t mean I haven’t made my fair share of them. In business, even show business, you have to take chances on things because sometimes they turn out to be the best thing you could have done.” Cal nodded in agreement. “But sometimes those chances are some of the worst decisions you’ve ever made and if you’re lucky, they don’t bankrupt you or take down an entire project.”
What was happening? Was he really sitting across from Peter Short, who was telling him that the little experiment he’d conducted with Cal and Bridget had been a failure? Because if that’s what he was saying, Cal already knew that. It was his life that had been on the line, and his relationship that had been sacrificed all because of Peter Short’s brilliant idea. But if he was going to tell him next that they were canceling the show and he’d not only lost the love of his life, but also the big break that could make his career, Cal didn’t think he could handle it.
“Cal,” Gwen said. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look very good.”
Cal nodded absently, but didn’t take his eyes off Peter. “What are you saying?”
“What I’m trying to tell you, son, is that sometimes, in business, decisions are made that you’re not—”
“No,” Cal interrupted him. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you finish.”
“Cal, you need to hear what—”
“No, Ian, I don’t. I need to say this.” Cal only spared his brother a quick glance before he focused again on Peter. “I can’t let you cancel this show. Gwen and Ian have worked so hard on this. Not to mention Jade.” He looked to her, but she didn’t look happy with what he was saying. “She busts her ass to make sure that everything goes smoothly, even when it’s not. Especially when it’s not. She’s organized things I didn’t even know needed to be organized. Too many people are counting on this show. And it’s going to be a hit. It really is, Peter. You can’t cancel it because of one bad decision. And yes, I know how terrible of a decision it was. Because I lived it. Hell…” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I’m still living it. Because of that little publicity stunt, and of course because of Bridget being the unfortunate person she is, and hell, maybe even because of this show, the woman I love more than anything else in the world wants nothing to do with me.”
From somewhere in the room, he heard a gasp and someone else mutter an expletive, but he kept going. “But despite all of that, I still believe in Mr. Summer. I still believe in Gwen and Ian and Jade and everyone else who’s associated with this show. Have you seen how great of a job Byron’s doing? And Alison, I think she could—”
“Be the next Gwen Henderson?” Peter crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. He actually smiled.
Cal glanced around the room. Everyone else’s faces were a combination of surprise, humor, or disbelief. He looked back to Peter, who seemed to still be waiting for an answer. “Yes,” Cal said, somewhat uncertainly. “That’s exactly what I was going to say. I think Alison would make a great Gwen.”
“Then it’s settled. Bridget is out and Alison is in.” Peter dusted his hands together and stood from his chair. “Jade, I assume everything else is under control?”
Bridget was out? Cal’s mind spun. Maybe he was a little fuzzy from all the emotions he’d been through in the last few hours, but he was having a lot of trouble keeping up with what was going on.
“Wait. What is—”
“Absolutely, Peter.” Jade ignored Cal with a wide smile. “We’re going to start filming tomorrow, in fact.”
Tomorrow?
“Seriously,” Cal tried again. “What’s going—”
“The cast and crew are more than ready,” Jade said. “I have full confidence in my team.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Peter said. “It was good to see ev
eryone.” He nodded at the group as a whole. “I’d love to stick around but I’m sure you have it under control. I look forward to seeing the pilot.”
And just like that, Peter Short was gone. Cal waited a beat before he turned to Jade. “What just happened there?”
Ian stood and slapped his little brother on the back. “What just happened is the show was saved, that’s what just happened.”
“So, Alison…”
“Is the new Gwen.”
“And she’ll be amazing,” Jade said. “She should have had the part from the beginning.”
“I’m just glad she has it now.” Gwen squeezed Cal’s shoulders. “I called Peter last night and explained a bit about what was going on here. He agreed it was less than ideal and came up to sort it all out.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
He almost asked how Bridget had taken the news, and then he realized he didn’t care. If Bridget was upset or had raged or thrown a tantrum or…it didn’t matter.
Nothing mattered.
He dropped his head and his knees almost gave out as he remembered again the way that Milena had turned away from him, heartbroken.
“Cal?” Gwen put a hand on his back and rubbed. “What’s going on? You said earlier that the woman you love wants nothing to do with you? Is everything okay?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Nothing is okay.”
Chapter Thirteen
Somehow Milena managed to get through the morning. She answered the phone, checked a few listings and was pretty sure she even answered a few emails, although if pressed, she wouldn’t have been able to say what they were about.
At some point after noon, she flipped the sign to Closed, locked up and made her way home, walking the side roads and alleyways to avoid anyone she knew. All she wanted to do was crawl into her bed, pull the covers over her head and hide.
Maybe with a pint of ice cream.
But the ice cream would have to wait because she hadn’t kept it in the house for years and there was no way she was going to the store. Not where everyone would look at her and whisper. Or say something to her.
She wouldn’t be able to handle it if someone mentioned the photos or worse, Cal.
