by JA Low
“Wait. No. That’s not what I’m after,” I try and explain it to him.
“Because that’s what it sounded like.” Anderson crosses his arms in front of his chest and glares at me.
“I’m worried that all this build-up might, you know, be for nothing,” I tell him truthfully.
“Are you saying you might choke at the finishing line?” Anderson chuckles.
“Hell, no.” How dare he have a go at my stamina. “I’m just saying what happens if all these feelings are being generated because of the sexual tension between us.”
“You said when you kissed her, it made you feel something more.” I nod in agreement. “There’s your fucking answer, bro.” He slaps me across the chest. “Stop second-guessing your feelings.” He warns. “It’s pretty simple. Could you live without her in your life?” he asks.
“No. Never.” He throws his hands up.
“Then hurry up and make your move and get your woman before some other prick comes alone like Douchebag Dan and sweeps her off her feet.” As soon as Anderson says that, my mind goes to Gray and all his fucking muscles.
He’s right.
I’ve been miserable since Stella left as if a part of me is missing. I need to get out of my head and take action. I should never have let her go to The Hamptons.
“Now come, let’s drink beer, get drunk, and whine about women.” Anderson chuckles, clasping his hand around my neck and pulling me back toward the living room.
29
Stella
Things have been going great in The Hamptons. Ariana and I have been sitting by the pool relaxing. We’ve had massages, a chef comes and cooks us dinner, loads of cocktails, and just good old-fashioned girl chats. You know, the kind where you pretty much fix the entire world’s problems in one sitting.
Gray has been coming to the house every day exercising me, and as much as he is a nice distraction, I’m not interested in his flirtation, but Ariana is. After his session with me, he has a session with Ariana. They head off to the beach every day, and she always comes back with a glow on her face. It must be the endorphins from the exercise. Yeah, right!
I haven’t heard from EJ in a long while, which has been weird. I don’t think I’ve gone this long without hearing from him, especially since it’s my job to be in touch with him continually. But after three weeks of lounging around, I’m going stir crazy. I need to get back to work, even if it’s just me and my laptop in bed. Opening up my work emails, I’m besieged with thousands and thousands of them. Ana and the other girls in the office have done an excellent job working through the ones they can answer but still, wow. Picking up the phone, I give Ana a call to let her know I’m online and to run through what has been happening. She lets me know that EJ has come back early from his vacation and has been unbearable at work. Grumpier than usual. He usually gets like that when he’s stressed.
Is it me? Have I made him like this?
Ana asks if I can speak to him. I reassure her that I will, and we continue working on her questions. I feel like Ana has everything under control once I hang up the phone.
I’ve been stressed about how everything has been functioning with me being away. It seems like everything has been going well like they don’t even need me. Perhaps they don’t need me anymore? That’s an interesting thought. What would I do? My mind turns up blank. I went straight from university to being EJ’s right-hand woman. I’m not sure I’ve ever thought about what I wanted out of my career. I was so happy to get a high-paying job and leave Montana that I never thought about my profession.
Laying back, I look up at the white ceiling hoping it can magically tell me what I want out of life. I stare at the blank canvas, a metaphor pretty much for my life at the moment, and try to let my mind wander.
The stupid thing keeps coming back to EJ.
No. Shaking my head.
I don’t want to see images of us holding hands and looking happy. I don’t want to be that girl who sees her future on the arm of a man. I want to be like my friends, independent and on my terms. I’m just EJ’s executive assistant. Yes, I probably have way more responsibilities than my title suggests, and I am monetarily compensated for that, but I feel like I should want more.
“Hey.” Ariana’s voice makes me jump as I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t hear her come in. She’s freshly showered from her session with Gray. “You okay?” She looks down at me staring at the ceiling.
“Just trying to decide want I want out of life.”
“I’m joining, too.” Ariana hops on the other side of the bed and wiggles down, so she too is looking up at the ceiling like me. “It’s really white, this ceiling,” Ariana muses as we stare at it, which makes me laugh. “It’s so white I feel like maybe I’ve been institutionalized.” This makes me giggle even more. “Do you think if we stare at it long enough, we can see into another dimension?” I clutch my stomach in laughter. It’s exactly what I need. “Have you had any success staring into the white abyss?” Ariana turns her head to me.
“Don’t laugh, but all I keep seeing is EJ.” Rolling my eyes, I’m feeling frustrated with myself.
“Why would I laugh at that?” she states.
I turn and look over at her with a frown on my face. “Because I was trying to work out what I wanted to do with my life.”
“I know, and it looks like you want to do EJ.” She grins.
“But I feel like I’m letting my side down thinking that,” I explain to her ashamedly.
“Hey.” She turns and sits up on her elbow. “There is no shame in seeing a future with someone. Not everyone is career-driven. It sounds like you’re driven more by partnership, family, and building a life together. And there is nothing wrong with that, at all, Stell,” she reassures me.
I let out a heavy sigh feeling a little better.
“What do you want? Forget everything and think about what do you see for yourself. This is a judgment-free zone,” Ariana tells me.
Do I tell her what is hidden deep down inside that no one knows about?
“I won’t ever share your inner thoughts with anyone, Stell.”
Okay, here goes. I close my eyes because I can’t look at her as I spill my guts. “I want a life with EJ. The white picket fence. The two-point-five kids. I want to join Lenna and Chloe in Connecticut and have family barbecues. All our kids growing up together.” There it all is, out into the universe. I can’t hide from it now. Turning my head, I reluctantly pop an eye open and look at her.
She’s grinning widely. “I love it.”
“You do?”
She nods her head. “Look at Lenna. The corporate woman until little Jagger came along, and now, she is happily at home with him. I mean, did you ever think we would see Lenna like that?” Ariana questions me. “And you know Chloe isn’t far away. She has her wedding at the end of the year, and you know Noah is dying to knock her up,” she adds.
This is all true. I sigh loudly, which makes Ariana laugh.
“Is EJ the one for you?” she questions.
“How do I know?” Turning the question around on her, I wait patiently for her answer.
“I think the fact that when you think about your future, he has a starring role tells me a lot.” She taps me gently, making me smile. “You’ve known EJ for years, Stell. You may not have done anything more than kiss, but you know that man to his core. You’ve seen him at his worst and at his best, and you still love him,” she explains. “Are you worried he’s going to suck in bed?” Ariana grins. “I mean, from what I’ve heard, he knows what he’s doing,” she jokes.
“What happens if I’m not up to par? The women he normally screws are supermodels,” I confess.
Ariana frowns as she glares at me. “Are you serious, Stell?”
I nod my head. “Yeah, I am. These women have a load of experience. They know things and do things that I have no idea about.”
“Babe…” her face softens, “… the way the two of you feel about each other… instinct wi
ll take over. The moment you two are naked, fireworks will explode.” Ariana grins.
Maybe she’s right, and I’m overthinking it all. Urgh, I need to get out of my head.
“Enough about me, what about you and Gray?” I ask, turning the tables on her.
“That man. Wow. Stamina city.” Ariana grins.
Right now, I’m insanely jealous that she’s getting laid, and I’m not.
“Do you even do any working out?” I ask.
“Babe, he most definitely is giving me a workout.” She winks, and we both dissolve into laughter. “It’s just a bit of fun to blow off some steam.” She rolls over onto her back. “I’ve got some bad news.” Oh, no. “I have to go back to the city for the rest of the week.” She groans. “Fucking assholes need me to sit in on some bullshit meeting they don’t want to deal with.”
“But you’re on vacation.”
“They don’t care, Stell. Honestly, I want to tell them to go fuck themselves.” She huffs.
“You should,” I agree with her.
“Unfortunately, I need the money. This is the last straw. I need to find another job or go out on my own.” She sighs. “But I need money for that, too.”
“You know what we need is to get the other girls up this weekend and help plan your escape.”
“Yes.” Ariana sits up.
“We must know enough people in New York who need an architect to do some work for them.” Finally, I feel excited that I can help her. “You know this world is all about who you know.” Ariana nods in agreement. “We’ve got you, babe.”
Ariana reaches out and gives me a tight hug. “Things are going to work out for you, too,” she tells me. Maybe she’s right. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you when I’m back at the weekend. Have loads of fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” And with that piece of sage advice, she is out the door.
30
EJ
“It’s go-time on the ‘get Stella to love me’ plan,” Chloe squeals down the phone.
Wait, what did she say?
“What the hell kind of name is that for a plan?” I ask.
“Um… a good one. That’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” she asks, sounding confused.
“But I’m a guy. It should be something more, you know, manly,” I tell her.
“More like ‘it’s time to get the girl and screw her brains out’ plan, right?”
Chloe doesn’t sound impressed with me, so I huff out in annoyance, “Fine. Call it whatever.”
“Good.” Chloe laughs. “Stella just called and invited us up for a weekend of girl time. So why don’t you and the boys come and have guys’ time at the hotel,” she adds. “We don’t even have to come up with an elaborate plan. I can say the boys thought they might as well come too and check on the hotel while we are away if she asks.” I can hear the excitement in her voice.
“And how on earth do you think I’m going to get alone time with her?” I ask my sister.
“You stay on after we leave,” she adds as if it all makes sense.
“And what… I’m just supposed to rock on up to her house and say hi, just passing, thought I’d drop by?” I’m shaking my head at the silliness of this idea.
“Um… yeah,” she adds as if it’s that easy. “I can’t hold your hand the entire way, EJ. You have to get her back yourself.” She huffs.
Oh my God, my sister is infuriating.
“I know.” I raise my voice in utter frustration.
“Geez, you’re grumpy. I’m just trying to help,” she snips at me. I’m seconds away from tearing my hair out.
“I know, Chlo. And thank you,” I reply through gritted teeth.
“You’re welcome. Oh, and just so you know, I’ve organized with the girls for a private dinner Sunday night where you will be cooking for us all, but in reality, it’s just for you and Stella.” Chloe drops that little detail on me like a brick from a height. “So… you’re welcome,” she says sarcastically. “That’s your shot, Elliot.”
“Thank you.” I say it this time with a little more warmth in my voice.
“I know you are.” And with that, she hangs up on me.
Guess I better get my shit together. I have a woman to woo.
Chloe and I flesh out the plan a little more during the week. She thinks I should drop off the food and drinks for the weekend Friday afternoon. That will give us a good couple of hours before the girls come so I can gauge Stella’s reaction to seeing me, then change the plan for Sunday night if need be.
It sounds like a solid plan.
I’m nervous the entire way from the city up to The Hamptons. What happens if I arrive and I walk in on her and Gray having fun together? Or she throws her phone at me again? Or she’s met someone else? These crazy thoughts are running through my mind over and over on the entire drive there.
Pulling up to the front gates to which Ariana gave me the code to enter, I reach out and type the numbers in and make my way through the canopy laden dirt driveway to the home. You can see the ocean in the distance as you drive up to the front door. It’s a gorgeous spot, and I can see why Stella would rather be here than my apartment. I grab the food from the trunk of my car and make my way toward the door.
Do I knock or just walk in?
Do you want to give her a heart attack thinking some random person is walking into her home?
She has a broken leg, so getting her to hobble over to the door is a terrible idea. I contemplate this for a couple of moments and set upon the choice of knocking and entering.
I use the knocker loudly, so there is no mistaking that someone is at the door. I give her a couple of moments to call out before I open the door.
There’s silence.
Might she be asleep?
I twist the knob, and it’s unlocked, so I carry the box of food down the hall and into the kitchen.
The first thing that hits me is, wow, what a view—nothing but white sand and blue ocean in front of me. I take in the coastal-themed home and realize how relaxing it feels. I take in a deep breath of salty air and instantly feel some of the tension begin to subside.
“Stella,” I call out to the silence, but I get nothing in return. My heart kicks up a notch as worry begins to filter through my veins. “Hey, Stell, it’s EJ,” I call out again, looking around the living room.
There’s a hall to the side where Stella’s bedroom must be because there’s no way in the world she will be climbing those stairs with her broken leg. I can hear a murmur coming from the bedroom, and my stomach sinks.
Does she have someone with her?
I continue further down the hall until I reach Stella’s room. The door is ajar, and I can’t see around it. I pause for a moment and listen to make sure I’m not going to walk in on something I don’t want to see. My ears tune into the sounds, and I recognize the voice—it’s me. Is she watching me on her television? My heart kicks up a notch in excited anticipation that maybe I’m in with a chance. That she is thinking about me. I push the door to her bedroom to the side, and I wasn’t ready for what I see next.
Fuck.
I’m speechless.
I can’t look away.
I don’t know what to do.
I…
Just…
Fuck me dead.
She can’t hear me because she’s currently using her battery-operated friend to satisfy her while watching episodes of me on YouTube. This is the hottest thing I think I’ve ever seen in my life. My dick is well and truly appreciating the sight before him.
“EJ,” Stella screams as her attention is pulled from her fun to me, standing at her bedroom door like a peeping Tom.
I’m frozen.
I can’t move.
I can’t take my eyes off of her.
“Get the fuck out,” she screams.
Her words pull me from the wicked thoughts I’m currently having. I grab the door and slam it shut.
My chest is heaving.
My breath is labored.
My
dick is standing at attention.
Fuck.
31
Stella
Oh my fucking God.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
No, this can not be happening to me right now.
EJ did not just see me pleasuring myself with my battery-operated friend while watching him cook on YouTube.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
I’ve never been so mortified in my life. I think this has ruined masturbation for me forever. I’m going to have to quit my job. I can never look at him again. Never. Ever.
“Stell.” EJ knocks on my bedroom door.
“Go away,” I scream. Grabbing a pillow, I press it across my face. How long does it take to suffocate yourself?
“I’m not leaving,” he tells me through the door.
Fuck.
“I quit, EJ. You’re going to have to find someone else to work with you. I’m never leaving this bedroom,” I scream at him. There’s a chuckle coming from the other side of the door—I’m so glad my mortification is hilarious to him.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“No. Fuck, no,” I scream. “You open that door… I will throw my phone at you.” He chuckles again, and I die of embarrassment. “I’ll throw the lamp, too.”
“None of that is going to stop me from coming in, Stell.”
“Please, EJ,” I beg. “Please leave.”
I hear the door creak open, but I refuse to look at him. This pillow is my last defense against him.
“Stella.” EJ’s voice is soft and alluring, but it’s a trap.
I will not look at him.
The next thing I know, the bed dips at my feet. What is he doing? But I’m too mortified to pull the pillow away from my face. I feel a hand run up along my leg, and my body freezes. What is happening? Then the next thing I feel is his lips pressing kisses along my legs.
No. My body erupts in goosebumps and tingles as every single nerve ending begins firing on all cylinders. My body was primed and ready because of my little friend, and now feeling his lips against my skin is setting me on fire. Not fair!
