by Carina Adams
And here I was.
I propped my shoulder against the door frame and looked over my empty studio with pride. We’d done it, Reid and I. Maybe it wasn’t choreographing a concert tour or a music video for today’s hottest artist. I wasn’t in New York, using my B.F.A in Dance Performance to work on Broadway. No, it wasn’t the studio I’d planned to start, one where I helped kids fall in love with creative movement.
Soiree was important in it’s own way though. After working for China, and learning first hand how most bosses in the industry mistreated their employees, it was imperative for Reid and me to create a safe place for our employees. We’d wanted a company that was more like family, one that took care of it’s own, no matter how dysfunctional we all were. For the most part, we’d been able to do that.
Some days I felt the urge to throw my shit in a backpack and drive to Boston or New York, to start over with a clean slate and follow the dreams of my younger self. Then I’d remember I was too old, I’d abused my body too much in recent years, and my time had passed. I’d missed the boat years before when I’d turned down a chance to work on a music video for an up-and-comer named Molly Ray. I’d wanted to take the job and knew it would lead to another gig. And then another.
Right before I’d gotten the offer to work for Molly with Frank Gatson—the greatest choreographer of my time—Brooke had had a meltdown. She was terrified I’d move on and forget about her. To ease her fears, I’d promised I would never leave her behind. Even though I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that came only after my liberal arts advisor had called in a favor, I had to say no.
I’d have given up anything for Brooke.
Reid would say I had given up almost everything for her. I’d stopped performing because Brooke was worried someone she knew would recognize me. I’d pulled away from Reid because her history with him made her uncomfortable with our friendship. I’d almost stopped working altogether because she was worried I’d leave her for one of my dancers. There wasn’t much she could have demanded that I wouldn’t have willingly given her.
Except for Soiree.
The studio was my dream come true, no matter how much it varied from the original plan. Owning it with my best friend had been the icing on the cake. And even though I wasn’t one of our performers, I had the space to do what I loved every day.
A long, sad sigh escaped me.
Yeah, I had the company and the job I’d always dreamt of, yet I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually danced. I’d helped Ruffles with her routine, and occasionally I’d stop in and work with my other employees, but I never went into the studio on my own. I hadn’t since Brooke had admitted she felt like she’d always be second best to my love of dance.
I tugged my cell from the pocket of my sweats, synced it with the stereo, and turned the volume all the way up. It was past midnight; no one else would be there for hours. Opening my music app, I found my old playlist, pressed play, and then tossed the phone onto the floor near the mirrors. Within seconds “Turn Down for What” filled the air and I walked to the center of the room, spun to stare at my reflection, centered myself, and slid my feet together.
On beat, I turned my right foot and slowly dragged my knee toward the side of the room, swiveling on the ball of the foot, and brought my feet back together before repeating the move on my left side. Adding an arm wave, I launched into the routine, losing myself in the music. I didn’t need to think about what I was doing because after hours and hours of practicing, my body moved on it’s own. My muscles remembered difficult steps as if I’d done them only days before, not years.
I bounced around the room, dropping my body on the beat. Each time one song ended, I moved back to the center of the room, faced the mirrors, and took a deep breath. With the start of every new tune, I moved to the choreography without thinking.
For a little over an hour, my mind was blissfully blank. I didn’t think about Brooke and the sexy as sin smile she used to send my way whenever she caught me staring at her. I didn’t worry about Reid or the tension between us that I wasn’t sure how to fix. I didn’t focus on Ruffles or contemplate how I could convince her to be more comfortable in her own skin. Soiree, my employees, my family… everything ceased to exist.
As soon as the last note from the last song faded away, I bent over, trying to catch my breath. My muscles ached from months of neglect, my shirt clung to my chest, my lungs burned, yet I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt better. I thought about switching on my old burlesque playlist and continuing to dance. I stood, in desperate need of water and a towel.
I startled a bit when I saw her. I’d been so consumed in the music and moves that I’d never sensed anyone had joined me. My eyes narrowed on her before I could conceal my agitation at being watched, of having my personal time invaded.
“What are you doing here?”
She held a bottle of water out as I approached, an amused smile twisted her lips. “Watching you kick ass. That was amazing.”
I shrugged off her compliment. I hadn’t been dancing to impress anyone, especially not her. If I’d known she’d joined me, I would have stopped.
“I forget what a great dancer you are. How well you can move.”
It wasn’t what she said, but how Liv said it that had my eyebrows flying toward my hairline. It was all breathy and shit, almost wistful, the tone a woman used when she flirted. I half expected her to reach out and grab my arm or try to pet me, so I took two steps back, and put distance between us.
“What are you doing here?”
She ignored me. “Your talent is wasted here. You never should have stayed.”
“Liv,” I growled, pissed I’d once shared something so private with her.
She swallowed, but didn’t answer right away. I was immediately on edge, expecting the worst.
“I called you,” she chewed her lip. “When you didn’t answer, I figured you were out. Or at Reid’s already. I was on the way there when I saw your truck here.”
“You couldn’t wait until morning?”
“No. I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d talk to you and then go to Frankie’s.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared down at her. If it was important enough to keep her awake and track me down, I was going to hate whatever she had to say.
“I had class with Brooke today.”
I felt my jaw tick in annoyance. I tended to forget what a drama queen she could be. It took every ounce of energy I had to stay rooted to the spot and not step around her and stride toward the door.
“I don’t know why that’s such a big deal,” I responded when I’d calmed down enough not to snap. “You two have gone to the same college for the last three years. You’ve had classes together before. At one time, the two of you were even friends—,”
Her sardonic laugh cut me off. “We were never friends. She pretended to like me. I tolerated her. For you. You are the only man on earth convinced his girlfriend and best female friend can like each other.”
“Whatever. You go to the same school. It can’t be that big of a surprise to have a class together.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “It isn’t. Cady’s in the class, too.” She acted like it was the end of the world. “She already asked me about all the shade your precious princess was tossing my way.”
I snorted as I pictured the mess that was Ruffles. “That’s what you’re worried about? It’s not as if they have a lot in common.” Brooke believed the company you kept was a reflection of yourself. None of her friends ever had a hair out of place, and they’d die before they stepped outside wearing a Marvel tee or baggy jeans “I doubt we have to worry about them bonding.”
“Funny thing about college professors is that they don’t give two shits about what you look like.” She started to pace, her arms wrapped around herself. The reason she was so upset completely lost on me. “Fate likes to toy with me. Rub salt in the wound. It’s karma. I must have done something truly horrible in a past life
.”
“It’s safe to say you’ve done some pretty horrible things in this one.” I regretted the jab immediately. I didn’t have a reason to be an asshole to Liv. I was tired and stressed, but that didn’t justify my cruel words. I tried to soften my tone. “We both have. Things we can’t take back, no matter how much we want to. Tell me why you’re so upset.”
She swallowed loudly and turned back to me. “Our professor separated the class into partners for the semester. Unless we have a valid reason, we can’t change.”
“And you got put with Brooke,” I surmised. What a cluster. Talk about an uncomfortable situation for them both. “That is awful. You’ll both find a way to make it work. You can be professional for one semester.”
“Not me,” she argued. “He put Brooke and Cady together. Cady suspects something. And Brooke knows Cady and I are friends.”
It took a few seconds for the news to sink in. My gut reaction was to tell Liv it was no big deal. They were both adults who had no knowledge of the connection they shared.
However, as I thought about it more, I started to understand Liv’s reaction. All it would take was one misguided and seemingly innocent comment from Brooke to make Cady sense there was something Livie wasn’t telling her. Once she realized there was more, she was far too stubborn to let it go. Brooke could paint a really horrific portrait of me if she wanted.
“Fuck.”
Liv nodded. “Yeah.” She propped her hands on her hips. “We need to tell her.”
“Are you insane?” I spit out, my voice no more than a sharp whisper. “Cady and I are good. We’re becoming a team. I’m not going to ruin that.”
“We’ll talk about that in a minute,” she tipped her chin up. “We need to tell her who Brooke is. It’s not a secret. Anyone here could tell Cady stories about the two of you. I’ll talk to her, start a controlled burn. Let her know Brooke is your ex and that it’s messy. Cady’s got a bleeding heart. She’ll understand. And ignore whatever Brooke says.”
“It could work.”
“It will,” she assured me. “But I didn’t want to do it until I talked to you.”
“Do it. We’ll go from there.” I turned and strode toward my things. “Go home. Stop worrying.”
“Oh, no. We’re not done yet,” she snapped. “The two of you?”
I’d known she wasn’t going to let if go, but I’d hoped she would. I chugged down half my water before I glanced at her over my shoulder. “We’re a team,” I supplied with a shrug. “I think we’ll make a good one.”
“It’s not a good idea. Put her with someone else.”
I was getting really sick of people telling me how to run my company. “I feel like I have to keep reminding you, so try to remember this time. You don’t work here anymore. And you sure as hell don’t make the calls.”
“Roman!”
I turned to face her, angry. “You asked me to hire her. You called in your favor. I don’t owe you anything else, especially not an explanation. Ruffles is my employee. And my partner. I will do whatever I have to to protect her. Even from you.”
“And what if you’re the one she needs protection from?”
I laughed bitterly. “You know, I thought Cady was going to be a pain in my ass because she was in way over her head. I was wrong. She comes to the studio early. She stays late. She listens to every criticism I throw her way, and instead of pouting, trains harder. She doesn’t just want a job. She wants to excel. I admire that drive. And somewhere over the last few days I realized she’s actually funny. A sweet kid. I like being around her.”
If fireballs could have flown from Livie’s eyes, I’d have burnt alive.
It made me angrier. “I don’t have to tell you how great she is, though, do I? The two of you are friends, remember? So why are you so upset?”
“Intentional ignorance doesn’t suit you,” she spit back as her arms flew into the air.
Reid’s words from earlier echoed in my mind. “Don’t be jealous Liv. She’s nothing like the blonde, picture perfect, fake women I sleep with.”
My arrow hit its mark.
“Screw you.” She couldn’t hide the hurt on her face. “I’m not jealous of Cady. I’m worried about her.”
I straightened, offended. “You don’t need to be. She’s a big girl. And I’ve got her back.”
“You’ve got her back?” Liv snorted, yet there was no humor in her action. “Like you had mine? You mean you’re going to pretend to be her friend and watch out for her until Brooke needs you. Then you’ll go running straight to your ex and let everyone else pick up the pieces.”
My fists clenched as my rage threatened to boil over. I’d apologized, I’d taken the blame. I’d given her friend a job. Anything I could do to make up for what had happened, I’d done it. Yet it was always going to be there, the canyon between us.
I was partially at fault. I’d own up to that. Yet, I hadn’t been the only one to make fucked up decisions that night.
“It’s not even close to the same situation and you know it. You were there, too.”
“Of course, I’m to blame.” She snarled, disgust clear on her face.
“We both are,” I growled back. She only ever heard what she wanted to hear. “It has nothing to do with Ruffles.”
“It has everything to do with her,” she screamed.
“You wanted me to hire her.”
Liv didn’t flinch at my bellow, too angry herself. “Yeah, I did. Because you’d never look twice at someone like her. You’d probably never even be friends with someone like her.”
She was right. I knew that. Yet, I couldn’t say a damn thing.
Not when I could still see Cady leaning back against my bedroom door, biting a lip I could still taste, looking at me like I was the desert she wanted to devour. Not when I could still hear her laughter as she made fun of herself for screwing up her routine for the fiftieth time, making me smile with her. And definitely not with Reid’s hurt expression and accusations fresh in my mind.
I ignored the way my heart pounded. “I’m trying to make the best of a shitty situation. And now you want me to do what, fire her? Because I teamed her up with me?”
“No. Soiree is an amazing company. Cady needs the money. And I know she’s going to do well here. Just move her to someone else. Please?”
There was no one else. That was none of her business, though. “No.”
“This thing is going to blow up and when it does, Cady will be the one who suffers. Brooke is ruthless. Cady isn’t like you and me.”
“You mean she could be deliriously drunk and she’d still make better choices than either of us make sober?” I snarled.
Tears filled Liv’s eyes. “She doesn’t intentionally hurt the people she loves. And she doesn’t forgive those who hurt her. I don’t want her to be me this time next year. She’ll never recover.”
I wanted to yell at her, to tell her I didn’t need a lesson on Ruffles. I knew more about Cady after a week than I knew about Liv after four years. Everything Liv said was true, Cady was all that and more, but I would never admit it. Because it wasn’t any of her business.
“She won’t be you. I’m not going to sleep with her.”
I expected tears. Maybe even a slap. She did neither and crossed her arms over her chest. “Good.” She cleared her throat. “Cady will never survive your girlfriend’s wrath, especially when Brooke realizes she’s a double threat.”
“What are you talking about?”
Liv’s face softened for just a moment. “Cady doesn’t realize he’s serious, that he’s really interested, but the moment she does, she’s going to snap Reid up. She gets a goofy smile on her lips every time she talks about him. You really think Brooke is going to tolerate another woman stealing the attention of both her men?”
I ignored the burn in my stomach at the thought of Reid and Cady together. “Ruffles is my teammate, my friend, nothing more.”
“I believe you. The point is that Brooke won’t. Not after m
e.”
“I don’t care what she thinks. Neither one of us belongs to her anymore.”
“If you believe that, you’re an idiot,” she sneered.
“Get out,” I tipped my head toward the door. If I had to spend more second in her presence, I’d lose it.
“Gladly!” She narrowed her eyes on last time. “I’m going to tell Cady who Brooke is. Do your damn job and protect my friend,” she turned and walked away.
“Always.” I told the empty room after I let her words sink in. I meant it.
Fifteen
Cady
I couldn’t stifle the yawn as I slid into an empty booth at Perk Up early Friday afternoon. I felt like I’d been awake for days. Roman had worked me to the point of exhaustion all week, yet the morning had been particularly rough. I didn’t feel excited and energetic like I usually did, and I was pretty sure I didn’t have a single fuck left to give about anything.
It took everything in my power not to lean onto the table and close my eyes for a quick nap. I gulped my coffee and ignored how it burned my tongue. I needed caffeine to get through the rest of the day.
“You look exhausted,” Livie sighed as she slid onto the bench across from me.
“I feel worse,” I assured her and lifted a flip-flopped foot. “Look at these blisters.”
“Cady!”
“I’ve been practicing in costume,” I explained, knowing she’d understand the high-heels I’d been forcing myself to wear felt more like stilted torture devices than the average woman’s pumps. “It’ll be fine. I’m just dragging right now.”
“You’re working too hard.”
I shook my head with a smile. She always worried about me. “I’ll be fine,” I promised. “I just need practice. Roman says once I get my routines down, it won’t feel like work.”
