by Sharon Green
“Not any more,” Selendi surprised them by saying, anger and resentment strong in her mind. “I can see now that I never really believed we would win. I thought we would just perform in the competitions and then go back to our previous lives, but now I know that my previous life doesn’t want me back. My father could have kept this from happening to me, but since he’ll still have my sister he probably didn’t even try. I want him to regret that, along with the way he never had any time for me once I reached the age of eleven. I will make him regret it.”
“Along with my father,” Homin agreed, his thoughts more hardened than Kambil had ever seen them. “I can now remember at least two occasions when I overheard him saying I was an embarrassment to him. Once it was to an associate who was just as powerful as he was, and once it was to Elfini. After that was when she first began to … concentrate on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to blame my father for the torment. Now I can, and suddenly I want to see him pay.”
“For me it’s my father and mother together,” Bron said with his gaze on his empty plate, another surprise. “They always gave me everything I wanted, then seemed to blame me for wanting it in the first place. If there were things they didn’t want me to have or do, why couldn’t they have just said so? Why is it my fault that they could never refuse me anything? I want to ask them that, but if we don’t win I’ll never get the chance.”
“And my father has spent my entire life trying to grind me under his heel,” Delin put in, his gaze distracted and far away. “He’s never been able to force me into accepting his authority without question the way everyone else does, and he resents that lack bitterly. He knows I’ve always been terrified of his punishments, but that’s never been enough. He needs to be in complete control of everything, and I’m the one who kept that from happening. I swore a long time ago to always be the one, and winning is the only way I can keep that oath.”
“Winning is also the only way I can ever see my grandmother again,” Kambil said, feeling that closing the circle was extremely necessary. “She’s always been my whole world, and would never understand if I disappeared without a word. I could never do that to her, not on purpose and not even involuntarily. I’ll do anything I have to to avoid it, and I mean anything.”
“So we’re all agreed,” Delin said with the first smile for his groupmates that wasn’t forced or artificial. “We’re going to do this, so I propose we get started right after dinner. Since we know what’s supposed to be done, let’s just go ahead and do it.”
Everyone liked that idea, a fact Kambil checked on before reaching for the table bell that summoned the servants. Every one of them was prepared to do his or her best, and the resolve was strong enough to carry them along with it. If they were just able to Blend the first time, the greatest hurdle would then be behind them.
Dinner was a little less than perfect because of the forced delay in having it served, but no one seemed to mind. Everyone ate with better appetite than they had in a long while, and after dessert they retired to the sitting room with a large tea service. They were all prepared to keep at the practice until they finally achieved Blending, and once again the servants had been put into a state of complete forgetfulness where the five of them were concerned.
“All right, let’s get into our positions,” Delin said after Kambil had closed the door and joined them. “Bron first, Kambil second, me third, Homin to Kambil’s right, Selendi to Kambil’s left.”
Everyone nodded and began to move, and actually checked their positions once they were in them. Kambil always found it amazing that the proper motivation was able to change a person completely, the proof of the contention now being right in front of his eyes. Bron and Selendi were totally different people, and Homin’s slow change of character had now strengthened and intensified.
But it was Kambil’s place to begin the exercise, so he put aside all extraneous thought and opened himself more widely to the power. The inrush of strength was both familiar and necessary, allowing him to extend invisible arms to his groupmates without the delaying drag of fatigue. He touched them all at the same time, and then—
And then was almost knocked over when all four of them responded immediately! Double lines of incredible strength held him to them and them to him, lines Kambil knew they were all aware of. And then the unexpected happened, when Homin also reached out to Selendi. Her instant touch in return spread to include the other two men, who also instantly returned the touch. And through her in some way, all three men linked up with each other! There was almost a burst of light, soundless and extremely brief, but enough to illuminate the fact that everyone was now linked to everyone else.
*We’ve done it!* Delin’s “voice” came through the link, exultant with delight and pleasure. *We’ve Blended, even though they probably thought we couldn’t! So what do we do next?*
*I don’t know,* Kambil admitted, aware of the way his frustrated annoyance reached the others immediately. *No one really knows how this works, so it’s impossible to say. Let’s make sure our ties are strong enough to return the next time, and then let it go.*
Kambil shared the disappointment which came from the others, but prudence had dictated his decision. When you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s just as likely that you’ll harm yourself as it is that you’ll accomplish something positive. They’d come much too far to take a chance like that, not when their dream was almost in their grasp. Kambil checked his attachments to the others, decided that they couldn’t possibly be stronger, and so withdrew his touch and let the Blending dissolve.
“I’ve never experienced anything like that in my entire life,” Delin said then, his expression almost giddy. “I was myself at all times, but I was also each of you.”
“And I felt all the other connections go through me,” Selendi said with a faint frown. “The ones to Kambil and Homin were strongest, which means you were right, Kambil. I’ll visit Delin and Bron tonight, so that tomorrow all the connections will be strong.”
“And then we’ll begin to be a force to be reckoned with,” Homin said, giving Selendi a quick, encouraging hug. “Tomorrow our … mentor should be pleasantly surprised.”
“When this happens for the first time in front of him, I think you mean,” Delin corrected gently. “We don’t want them knowing we’re ambitious enough to have practiced, so we make sure not to mention it. And we especially make sure that Rigos doesn’t find out.”
“I’ve fixed it so that Rigos is less of a problem,” Kambil pointed out, having found a place to sit as soon as he released the power. “I’m too tired to go into details right now, but Rigos’s spy won’t be telling him anything we don’t want him to know.”
“That will just make Rigos a small bit less dangerous,” Delin disagreed, walking toward the tea service. “We need to be entirely rid of him, or he’ll certainly find a way to ruin our intentions. But don’t any of you worry about that. I’ll find a way to dispose of him, just wait and see if I don’t.”
The others nodded as they began to drift after Delin to the tea service, already discussing their own views of the experience so recently past. Kambil sat in his chair, trying to gather enough strength to go to bed, staring at Delin’s turned back without expression. He had no idea of the details which Delin had in mind, but where Rigos was concerned, Delin needed to be watched carefully. If he messed things up and was caught, the rest of them would pay right along with him.
Which thought finally gave Kambil the ability to get to his feet. The sooner he got the rest he needed, the sooner he could be back on guard. Nothing could allowed to ruin their plans, absolutely nothing…
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jovvi saw Tamma heading out of the library, so she followed while pretending to be about her own business. Luckily it turned out to be the garden Tamma headed for, and none of the servants saw either of them go. Jovvi checked carefully for observers as she stepped outside, and when there were none to be found she hurried past the bath house and around to the fa
r side of it. By then Tamma had seen her, of course, and hurried to join her when Jovvi gestured that she was to follow.
“What’s wrong?” Tamma asked once they both stood safe from observation with the bath house between them and the main house. “Has something happened?”
“Not the way you mean it,” Jovvi reassured her, adding a bit of a smile. “There just happens to be something you and I need to discuss, without the men around.”
“That sounds almost ominous,” Tamma replied with brows high. “I hadn’t realized there were things they couldn’t know about.”
“There aren’t,” Jovvi said, still trying to find the best way to explain. “It’s just that… I feel this is something … you and I need to … discuss first. Let me start by asking a question: when we Blended, did you perceive all the men in the same way? Or did the contact with any of them seem stronger than the others?”
“Now that you mention it, the contact with Rion was stronger than the ones with Lorand and Vallant,” she responded slowly, her brow creased in thought. “I noticed it at the time, and then managed to forget. How did you know?”
“I knew because I perceived Rion and Lorand more strongly than Vallant,” Jovvi answered, sending a trickle of calm toward Tamma. “I wasn’t completely certain until you confirmed my guess, but now I’m sure of it: being intimate with the men increases the strength of our bond with them. The situation is logically sensible, but it puts us into what might be considered a … an uncomfortable position.”
“Why?” Tamma asked, her head cocked slightly to one side. “If you’ve already lain with Lorand and Rion, you just have to do the same with—Oh. And I—Oh.”
Her second “oh” was slightly higher than the first, showing she now saw the whole problem. It would be less of one if Tamma and Vallant had already lain together at least once, but that wouldn’t have made the situation go away. Jovvi herself had lain with Lorand once, and her disturbance was still very much there.
“This whole thing is very confusing,” Tamma complained, using one hand to rub at her forehead. “My feelings about Vallant are still scattered every which way, but knowing that you need to lie with him is somehow … disturbing. Do you feel the same about me lying with Lorand? I hadn’t thought you would, but now I’m not quite sure.”
“To be honest, I hate the idea of you lying with Lorand,” Jovvi admitted, struggling to keep her balance. “Considering my career as a courtesan the objection is absurd, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. The fact that he and I are having difficulties must be causing it, but the reason for it doesn’t matter. If our Blending is to be as strong as possible, you and he have to lie together. Right now my main purpose in bringing up the matter is to ask if you’d rather lie with Vallant before I do.”
“Which may or may not make it easier for me to accept the necessity,” Tamma said with a nod, her gaze on the way her fingers twisted together. “It’s really strange, but touching the power isn’t helping me now at all. Which probably means that being attacked is easier to cope with than making this decision.”
She looked up then with a wry expression, and Jovvi found herself replying with the same sort of smile. What Tamma had said was absolutely true, about attack being easier to accept and cope with. Allestine’s trying to kidnap her hadn’t been half this upsetting…
“But I’m suddenly getting an idea,” Tamma said, alertness bringing her head up. “This could be a golden opportunity, and I almost didn’t see it. If Vallant lies with you first and then with me, his returning to me can only mean a true desire for involvement on his part. I know how marvelous you’ll be for him, so his coming back to me will speak more clearly than any words he may use.”
“Now, that’s something I hadn’t thought about,” Jovvi said, her own brows having risen. “It’s an excellent point, and I wish I had something like it.”
“Jovvi, you don’t need anything like it,” Tamma said gently and slowly, as though she were explaining something to a child. “Your ability should tell you exactly how Lorand feels—if you aren’t afraid to use it with him. You’re not, are you?”
Jovvi’s silence must surely have answered the question, telling Tamma just what Jovvi couldn’t. There had been so much bitterness in Lorand the night of the costume ball at the palace, that Jovvi hadn’t been able to approach his emotions again.
“I don’t know how much good it’s done, but I have been arguing with him for you,” Tamma offered, her expression now full of compassion. “He thinks he isn’t good enough for you, but I won’t let him tell me that. It’s only his disappointment with himself talking, and once he’s over that he should be over the rest as well.”
“If only I hadn’t said what I did,” Jovvi responded with a sigh, feeling fractionally better. “When we can’t be sure any of us will survive, I was a fool to talk about a secure future. But we all have our needs and fears, and that happens to be mine. If I had yours instead, I probably wouldn’t have put my foot in it quite so deep.”
“You probably wouldn’t have put your foot in at all, or any other part of you, either,” Tamma said with a grin that was very unlike her usual self. “But if it makes you feel better, I’ll trade my problem for yours any day.”
“Easier said than done,” Jovvi told her with a laugh, now feeling a lot better. “We’ve discussed the point before, but you can’t just tell someone to have a different problem. It would take—”
“Jovvi, what’s wrong?” Tamma asked, obviously concerned over the way Jovvi’s words had broken off so abruptly. “You look … strange.”
“I feel strange,” Jovvi replied, the original understatement of the ages. “I think I need to sit down, but if I do my mind will probably whirl me up into the air. That very odd thing Allestine said at the trial; I think I now know what it means.”
“What odd thing did Allestine say?” Tamma asked, looking as though she were ready to catch Jovvi when she fell. Which wasn’t that farfetched an idea…
“Allestine was asked why she hadn’t left Gan Garee and returned to Rincammon,” Jovvi explained. “Apparently she and the men had packed their possessions and they’d even paid their bill at the inn, but they were still here when the guardsmen went to arrest them. Allestine’s answer to the question was something like, ‘Oh, it isn’t possible to leave, it just isn’t.’”
“Why wasn’t it possible?” Tamma asked, frowning over the same confusion Jovvi had felt. “It almost sounds as if someone had forced her to stay.”
“Someone did,” Jovvi told her heavily. “I’d just about forgotten the fact, but when I spoke to Allestine in the coach I used just those words. ‘Don’t even think about leaving because it isn’t possible,’ I told her, hoping she would do the exact opposite—and not realizing that I was fully in touch with the power at the time. It looks like there’s at least one side to my ability that no one ever bothered to mention.”
“It’s so unimportant, I can’t imagine why they would,” Tamma muttered, almost as stunned as Jovvi had been. “You told Allestine that leaving was impossible, and in spite of everything she obeyed you. The whole concept is so bizarre, that I can’t even imagine what you would use the ability for. Aside from making people your slaves, that is.”
“That’s one thing I won’t be using it for,” Jovvi told her firmly, more determined about that than almost anything else in her life. “I’d rather die than make innocent people into slaves, people who would be helpless to stop me. But that idea you had just now, the one we discussed once before: you said people have trouble coping only with their own problems, not the problems of others. Assuming I got permission from Lorand and Vallant, what do you think would happen if I told each of them that they had the other’s problem?”
“One of three things, probably,” Tamma replied, her brows still high. “Number one, nothing at all would happen. Number two, they’d each have a problem they could handle. Number three, they’d each end up with two problems instead of one. Do you know for certain that nu
mber three can’t possibly happen?”
“I’m barely certain what time of day it is,” Jovvi said, not joking in the least. “This is going to take a lot of thought, a lot of discussion, and maybe even some experimenting. After all that I might try it, assuming Lorand and Vallant are willing.”
“Why don’t you ask Vallant when you lie with him, and I’ll do the same with Lorand,” Tamma suggested, now much more calm and composed than Jovvi herself. “Once we get used to Blending, it might turn out to be totally unnecessary, but they still ought to know. And one of us should tell Rion what’s going on.”
“I’ll try to tell him,” Jovvi decided. “It’s easier for me to know if anyone else is around. Are you … going directly to Lorand?”
“As soon as I get my nerve up,” Tamma said with a sigh. “It’s one thing to ask a man to lie with you when you’re angry and also don’t intend to do it right away. Walking up to him and telling him the time is now is another matter entirely. Are … you going directly to Vallant?”
“Only if there’s no opportunity to speak to Rion first,” Jovvi said, then shook her head with a faint smile.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we? We’ve each told those men we want nothing to do with them, but now that another woman is about to lie with the man we want nothing to do with…”
“Right,” Tamma said sourly. “But it’s a good thing the other woman is you. If it ever turned out to be that floozie Vallant used to be involved with… Well, all I’ll say is that if he ever gets together with a woman other than me, you can bet every din you have that it won’t be her. I’ll see you later.”
Jovvi nodded and watched Tamma walk away, then checked for other watchers before making her own way back to the house. As involved and complicated as their previous days had been, Jovvi had the definite feeling that they hadn’t really seen anything yet.
