by Kat Catesby
“What do you think caused that?” I ask and jerk my chin towards the still lightly bleeding foot.
Doctor Peterson gives a thoughtful shrug. “I can’t be certain but I would hazard a guess at a sharp rock. The wound isn’t clean like I would expect if it were from a knife; the edges are jagged, suggesting the skin was broken by something uneven. Sprinting along barefoot like she was, she probably put a lot of force onto the object she stepped on. But she got lucky, whatever is was missed the tendons in her foot. It’s just a large, slightly deep wound that requires a few stitches to stop the bleeding.”
Once he snips the thread of the last stitch and bandages her foot, he gets up to leave. “Vanessa, the nurse, will conduct half-hourly observations to check on Katie’s vitals. If any of the machine alarms sound, don’t panic; Vanessa and her team will deal with it. Here is the call button,” he indicates a red button on a corded remote that he places on the bed near my hand, “press it if you have any concerns and Vanessa or one of her team will come immediately. Unless Katie takes a turn for the worse, I’ll be back in a few hours.”
I’m alone with Katie then, for the first time since our argument in our bedroom this morning. I’d give anything to have her wake up, argue with me again and tell me how much of a dick I was.
It’s always the small things that hit you in moments like this.
With my parents, I remember thinking how sad it was that we’d never have the epic drama that accompanied every game of family monopoly. Sitting here with Katie now, the rough pad of my thumb tracing the pale, silky coolness of her knuckles, I’m struck by the myriad of memories I can’t bear to lose. The way her face lights up when she smiles or how her eyes sparkle and dance when she’s makin’ mischief. The way her body sways to songs on the radio as she cooks in the kitchen, flipping her hair around and wafting the coconut smell of her shampoo that assaults me. How my cock is strangled on a daily basis because I’m transfixed by Katie’s bouncing breasts and perky nipples that pebble through her shirt because she refuses to wear a bra. God, I love that she doesn’t wear a bra and that whenever I feel like it, I bend down and nip one of her delicious, rosy buds through her clothes, eliciting a positively primal moan that hardens my dick in seconds.
I even miss the mundane things, like finding her toiletries all over the bathroom and the sass she gives me when I dare to complain about it. Who knew there were so many necessary feminine products and that the struggle to find the toothpaste amongst the tampons was real? We even had an argument about her using tampons; I’m a possessive prick who hates the idea of anything penetrating her but me and the toys I use on her. I don’t care if it’s for sanitary purposes; I’d fuck her whether she was on her period or not and a tampon is just in the way of that. She laughed adoringly at me and said once she used them up, she would ‘consider’ switching to pads. Always on her terms and I love that she’s secure enough with me to enforce that. Not that I would ever coerce her but I’m glad she doesn’t feel the pressure to buckle to my desires over what she’s comfortable with. I can be a force to be reckoned with, I know this; I’m dominant with a commanding presence and it’s easy for women to get swept away in that and give me what I want. But Katie is her own powerhouse and she stands toe to toe with me; an unshakable force of nature to rival my own.
God, this woman.
My woman.
I love her so damn much.
She better fuckin’ wake up and soon.
Stroking little circles on the delicate skin of her wrist I settle in for the long haul. The steady beeps and the rhythmic hiss of the ventilator breathing for Katie my only companions until Max returns with take-out coffee cups and a shit tonne of vending machine junk food.
“I couldn’t find an open café as it’s a Sunday night, but there are various vending machines for snacks and hot drinks scattered around. I’ve scouted out the best and brought you back my haul. Help yourself,” he dumps his score on a little table in the corner of the room. “How’s she doing?”
I wave a hand at all the machines keeping her alive, not sure what to make of it all. “She’s as good as she can be, I guess, considering there’s a machine breathing for her. The doc sounded positive. It’s a waiting game now,” I scrub my hand down my exhausted face and over the stubble that’s grown the past couple of days.
I keep thinking I’ll wake up from this nightmare any second and that Katie will be safely tucked into my side, sleeping soundly with that delicate faint smile her lips naturally rest in.
Reality is not so kind.
“Maddie messaged me; she and Dix will be here in about half-hour.” Max sits in a chair near the door and tries to get comfortable. Leaning my head forward to rest on the bed next to Katie’s arm, I zone out until I hear familiar voices outside.
I look up just as they enter and Maddie lets out a panicked sob at the sight of her best friend. She doesn’t look too steady on her feet either – glad it’s not just me – but Dix is there to support her before she hits the floor. Wrapping his arms around her, he holds her tight.
Dix isn’t an uncaring man, but it’s been a long while since a woman was able to move him enough for him to want to offer support. He’s chivalrous enough that he wouldn’t let Maddie face plant the floor but once she was steady on her feet, he’d put distance between them. He doesn’t do that. He continues to hold her, tucking her into his side and leaving a sturdy arm wrapped around her waist. If I wasn’t in turmoil, I’d be curious, but playing twenty questions with Dix will just have to wait for another day.
When Maddie has calmed enough to talk, Max and I explain her injuries while Dix looks grimly on.
“How much do you know?” Max asks.
“Only that David attacked her and that, as her emergency contact, I was needed at the hospital. They wouldn’t give out any details over the phone,” Maddie’s voice trembles and her eyes glisten as they fill with tears.
“You should know, I had to tell them I was her fiancé to be allowed to stay with her. Please don’t accidentally mention the truth,” Maddie and Dix nod their understanding in unison. They both know enough about mine and Katie’s relationship to realize this is just a technicality. We belong to each other and if she could talk this second, I’d come right out and ask her to be my wife.
“A deputy called to tell me I was safe and that David was no longer a threat; I take it they apprehended him?” Maddie asks.
Dix’s eyes bore into mine; he sees the truth. One look at his brother, who returns his steady gaze, and he has the confirmation he needs. The Cooper brothers have known me pretty much my whole life. They know that any man stupid enough to harm my woman has already drawn his last breath.
“He’s dead, Maddie. I shot him,” I answer bluntly. My earlier unease of taking a man’s life is long gone. One look at what he’s done to my Sunshine is enough to erase any misplaced guilt. Fucker had it coming and I’d gladly do it again.
“You sure? David is as wretched as a cockroach and it’s always the assholes who survive –”
“I blew a hole between his eyes, Maddie. Unless he can survive without half his brain, which is splattered across my hillside, I’m fairly confident I ended his reign of terror.”
Maddie’s eyes widen and at first, I think its fear I see there, hearing me talk so violently and seeing how unrepentant I am to have killed someone but she walks to me, pauses, then throws her arms around my waist and sobs ‘thank you’ repeatedly. It wasn’t fear in her eyes, it was shock and relief. Katie and Maddie no longer have to live in the shadow that creep created.
“I promised you she’d be safe with me and I only half delivered. You have nothing to thank me for,” I whisper dejectedly. I vowed to keep Katie safe and I failed. Watching her battered body on life support is proof of that.
Maddie tightens her arms around me, “She’s alive, Asher, because of you.”
“No, she’s in here because of me. I wasn’t with her when she was attacked. Had I been, that asshole wouldn’t ha
ve managed to even breathe on her, let alone lay a finger on her. I left her in the care of someone else and they got hurt too.”
“Shut up,” Max interrupts. “Wallowing in self-pity isn’t attractive, man. You don’t deserve to do that to yourself. The police had a lead, they’d set up extra patrols, she was in the care of a more than capable man. It was just bad luck David got the drop on Bill. You can’t anticipate every eventuality but you can do your damnedest to fight when shit hits the fan and that’s what you did. You gunned that mother fucker down and you saved the woman you love. It looks a long road right now but Katie is alive and fighting. She already looks much better than she did a few hours ago. Before you know it, she’s gonna be up and about and she’s not gonna want to see you lookin’ guilty and beatin’ yourself up for saving her life. You did good, brother.”
He’s right. She does look better than she did; it gives me enough comfort to stop my pity-party for one. The next few days are going to be tough enough on us all and I don’t need to throw my own self-doubt into the mix.
After a few hours, Dix drives Maddie and Max to a motel so they can get some sleep. I refuse to leave and they know better than to try and make me. Besides, Dix had his hands full with Maddie after he put his foot down and told her she was sharing a room with him. Yeah, definitely somethin’ up there.
The next day passes in a strange blur of fragmented time. Katie’s vitals improve and her skin looks less grey and lifeless with every passing hour. Detective Jones and his forensic specialist arrive. I have to leave the room while the specialist collects her samples, including a rape kit. The very notion has me spitting with rage. I understand why they have to take the samples, but it kills me to let them while Katie can’t consent to it. It’s like violating her all over again. The air in my lungs freezes when I think about how David raped her while they were together. I know she was unconscious during the assault and I’m thankful she doesn’t have to live with those memories but it still happened to her and she knows it. Not sure if that’s worse? Knowing it happened to you but not being able to remember it. Now here she lays, unconscious once more while someone touches her most intimate places without her knowledge.
Sensing my difficulty, Maddie gave consent for the collection of the samples. Katie always spoke highly of how Maddie could take a step back from a situation and apply the logic it required to solve a problem. Maddie shouldn’t have had to make that call but I’m more grateful than she’ll ever know that she did.
I use the time away from Katie’s side to give my statement to Detective Jones, who confirmed the DA won’t be bringing charges against me as I acted in defense of another on my property.
Lucy arrives a little while after to offer sympathy and collect Max; Maddie was intent on staying and Dix was insistent on staying with Maddie. That left Max without a ride. Thankfully, he has the love of a good woman who didn’t bat an eye at making a six-hour round trip to collect her man.
While Lucy and Maddie are acquainted from the club, Katie and Lucy hadn’t had the opportunity to meet in person and that realization twists the knife in my gut. In my mind’s eye, I can see how well Katie, Maddie, and Lucy will get along and I hope it’s an opportunity Katie gets to have. There are so many things I wish for Katie – I just need her to pull through. I’ll give her the goddam world so long as she wakes up.
Bill and Moira also make the drive to Denver, though I told them not to. I feel guilty for putting them in harm’s way and Bill needs to rest his concussion. But there’s no stopping that pair when they get an idea lodged in their heads.
They look as exhausted as I feel and it’s obvious, they both feel no small amount of guilt over Katie’s condition. No matter how much I tell them otherwise, they feel responsible. I love that they’ve taken Katie under their protective wing as they did me; it makes it feel like Katie is family. I mean, she already is as far as I’m concerned, but to have the other people in my life love her like family too – that squeezes my chest in all the right ways.
Not loving Bill’s guilt burden though. David was a big guy who got the drop on him and there’s no shame in that. It happens. Especially as the working theory is that David was already lurking inside the house, so they effectively locked themselves inside with him. I don’t know how he got in but I’ve arranged for a security firm to overhaul all the security at the lodge and ranch house. I’m considering gated access where the long drive meets the main road. I even thought about knocking my house down and rebuilding so Katie doesn’t have any permanent reminders of the bad shit that happened to her. I’m not ruling it out but I think that’s a call I need to make with Katie when she wakes up.
She’s been making good progress and they are keen to take her off life support, as long as she continues to improve throughout the night. My hope comes with trepidation; there are so many variables at play and I don’t want to get excited for a milestone that could be delayed if her recovery stalls for whatever reason. The team of medical staff is cautiously optimistic, saying things like ‘no longer in critical condition’ and ‘over the worst’ but until those big blue eyes are open and looking at me, I’m not getting carried away.
By morning, Katie has made enough progress for them to remove life support. I swear my heartbeat shudders to a stop while the whole room tensely anticipates her first breath without the ventilator. Doctors and nurses hover closely in case she doesn’t breathe on her own. Seconds tick by, my anxiety is damn near stratospheric and the atmosphere in the room begins to waver. I feel like a statue; clenched so tightly my white knuckles ache and my teeth grind together, but I’m terrified to move. This moment is balancing precariously on a knife-edge that is teetering the wrong way.
Just when I fear they will need to reconnect the ventilator, Katie draws a ragged little breath and her chest begins to rise and fall rhythmically on its own.
My body sags with relief and I slump into the nearest chair, hiding my face in my hands while my eyes moisten. This woman makes me feel so damn much – I’ve never been the guy who cried…until I met her.
“What happens now?” I ask, my throat thick from fighting back tears.
“We wait for her to regain consciousness,” replies an older doctor.
“How long does that normally take?”
“It’s different for every person. It could be minutes, hours or days. In very rare cases, months or years.” My head snaps up at this. Years? “Comas are unpredictable and I would be remiss not to make you aware that some people never wake up. Having said that, I’m optimistic that Katie will wake sooner rather than later. Her scans and vitals are very promising. Continue talking to her and holding her hand – let her know you’re here.”
So, that’s how the next few hours pass; me and Maddie holding Katie’s hand, Dix sat by the door and all of us silently praying she doesn’t make us wait too long. But Katie’s not one for takin’ anythin’ slowly – you only have to look at how quickly our relationship started to see that – and true to form, a couple of hours after coming off the ventilator, the long lashes framing her delicate eyelids begin to flutter.
Slowly, she focuses on her surroundings, taking us all in and gently flexing the muscles in her body and flinching when she finds something that hurts.
Dix returns to the room with a doctor and nurse in tow – I didn’t even notice him leave – and they start checking Katie over and asking her questions. Her eyes zero in on me, wide and relieved while her tiny hand squeezes mine as if she’s afraid to let go. It doesn’t help the assessment as it forces the nurse to work around our connection.
I don’t care if it’s awkward; if Katie wants to hold my hand for every second of the rest of her life, then that’s what she’ll get.
The doctor asks what she remembers and explains her injuries to her. Despite the fear, adrenaline, and beating she took, her memories are in remarkably good shape. Again, not sure if that’s a good thing.
Her voice is a hoarse whisper and she winces when she tries to speak.
“There is swelling to your vocal cords. It’s going to be sore to speak for a few days so try not to talk too much. The laceration to your foot is healing nicely but I’d like you to keep from bearing weight on it for a few more days. It’s your ribs however, that will be the most bothersome for you. You have a fracture to five of them: three on your left, two on your right. They’re going to take around six to eight weeks to repair and they’re going to be quite sore for the first few. Breathing may be uncomfortable and we’ll give you pain meds to take home with you when you’re discharged, but I will need you to take things easy so as not to hinder your recovery. Don’t lift heavy objects, no exercise or exertion and try not to twist or bend suddenly; it will hurt if you do.”
“It’s okay baby, I’ll take care of you,” I try to soothe the panic in her dilated eyes.
“Would you like a drink Katie?” Maddie asks. She nods and Maddie walks out of the room with the doctor, leaving us alone. I can’t hold back anymore and lean in to kiss her lips as gently as I can, avoiding the bruises to her face. She groans and I pull back immediately, worried that I’ve hurt her, only to see a flash of fire in her electric eyes. There’s pleasure mixed amongst the pain and it would be too easy to lose myself in her, but I need to restrain myself – I’m not gonna knock her recovery backward just because I can’t control my eager dick.
“You killed him?” her whisper is barely audible and I’d much rather she not waste her precious words on David but this conversation is inevitable. I just have to hope my actions don’t scare her out of my life. The last thing I want her thinking is that she’s replaced one violent man with another. I am nothing like David Marks.
“I did, Sunshine, and I’d do it again,” I answer solemnly.
Her pale lips quirk into a small smile. “You could’ve shot him in the shoulder.”
“Could’ve, but didn’t. I chose to remove him from our lives. Permanently.”
Katie reaches for me with the hand I’m not holding, grabs my shirt by the collar, balls it in her tiny fist and pulls me towards her. “Thank you,” she breathes before pulling my lips to hers and kissing me tenderly. “You’ll never know how much that means to me.”
