“Jenna and Caleb are coming over,” I inform Jordan as he walks into my living room wearing black sweat pants and a long-sleeved white T-shirt, his blond curls still damp from his shower.
He nods, but doesn’t respond.
Jordan’s mad at me. He’s never been truly mad at me and I don’t know what to do. It’s killing me. I’m more upset that I hurt him than I am about finding out Garrett killed someone. I’m not certain, but he said he was sentenced for manslaughter. That’s not murder. It may be a technicality, but the way he explained it made it seem like he didn’t murder anyone.
I’m still so confused about the whole thing; I can’t quite get a grip on a coherent thought.
In classic Emily interacting with Garrett form, I rambled my way through my conversation with him. I wish I could have a normal dialogue with him just once so he can see I’m not a nut job. But when he’s around, I feel unhinged. Not in a bad way either.
Looking into his blue, concerned eyes out on the bluff today, I didn’t see a murderer. I didn’t see someone I should fear. I didn’t see someone who made me feel like I need to stay away from him. I didn’t see anything other than a man terrified something bad had happened to his woman.
I’m not sure I’m his woman anymore though. I don’t know if I should be. I clearly don’t know anything about him. I know how I feel when I’m with him though. I know I’ve never felt anything even resembling what I feel for him. That’s after a few days, a handful of interactions and months of watching him. And in that tiny amount of time, I feel something for Garrett that I never felt for Adam. I know I can’t just walk away from that.
Jordan flops on the couch next to me and drags me onto his lap. He’s mad at me, but he can’t seem to let me out of his grasp. His five-minute shower was the longest he’s left me alone since he got to the cabin. We swung by his place so he could grab clothes and his bike. I was at his side every second.
I nuzzle into him and whisper, “I’m really sorry, Jordan. I’ll never do that again. I swear on my mother’s grave, I’ll never run off without telling you.”
“The last time someone ran off without tellin’ me, I found my old man’s dead body, Em. I can’t do that with you. I can’t find you hurt and I sure as shit can’t find you dead. I won’t survive it.”
Tears leak from my eyes as I nod into his shoulder. I know Jordan found his father after he was murdered. It was selfish of me to put him through this today. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t even think my brain was functioning. If they had called my father…this would be a thousand times worse.
My father is a weapon’s engineer for the military. Once a sniper, he found a love for designing and started doing that after he retired from the Marines. That’s the reason I was so close with my mom. We were alone a lot. My dad was stationed in different parts of the country or deployed so my mom decided to stop moving around with him when I was born. Both sets of my grandparents were still in Kansas City and she wanted me to grow up with family around.
She was diagnosed with cancer two years after he left the Corp. I think they both regretted the time they spent apart in their relationship. I felt guilty about it until they both chewed me out. The next ten years as my mom battled cancer off and on, my father was never more than a few feet from her at any given time. They made up for what they lost. Until they lost each other.
If Jordan called my father today and told him I was missing, a fleet of armed drones would have been scouring the area for me. It was a thoughtless mistake. I won’t make it again.
“Forgive me,” I urge Jordan, not being able to handle his anger.
“I’m not mad at you, Em. I was fuckin’ scared outta my mind. Just let me hold you. I’ll be fine by tomorrow. Give me this for now.”
That I can do. I snuggle in and close my eyes only to pop them open a few minutes later when there’s a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Jordan murmurs into my hair, before setting me on the couch.
He opens the door and Jenna flies to me, tackling me onto the cushions.
“Don’t ever do that again!” she yells as she squishes all the air out of me.
How can someone so skinny be this strong?
Then she rolls me to the side and slaps my butt. I yelp and turn shocked eyes at her. We stare at each other for a while and then we’re laughing hysterically. These tears feel so much better. I didn’t tell Jenna anything about Garrett. It’s not my story to share. But I see understanding in her eyes as we calm down.
“That was some kinky shit,” Caleb declares, striding his massive frame toward me.
It’s like having Hulk in my house.
He rips me off the couch and crushes my ribs in a brutal hug. Good thing Jenna’s strong or he might hurt her in the sack.
“I wanna smack your ass too. I don’t think Sharp would take too kindly to that though. But know, if you weren’t his, I’d tan your ass for what you did today.” His words don’t match his tone. The threat isn’t there and his voice is thick with concern.
I nod because I can’t breathe in order to respond.
Caleb’s father was murdered with Jordan’s and I can only assume he found a dead body that day too. I don’t owe Caleb what I owe Jordan, but I still feel like crap for worrying him. When I feel like I’m about to pass out from lack of oxygen, he passes me to Jordan who pulls me back down onto his lap.
Our conversation never veers toward Garrett while Jenna and Caleb are here. Jordan’s mostly quiet, which is bizarre but understandable. They don’t stay long. After another round of hugs without spankings, they take off.
I stare at my new door for a while as Jordan starts shutting lights off. I don’t know what wood it is, but it’s rich and warm. I can see every grain running through it. It’s heavy, more solid than what I had before. There are three locks that engage when I flip the deadbolt. And there’s a peephole. Garrett made sure I’m safe.
He also left six hundred dollars on my kitchen table in an envelope that simply said “Don’t” across the front. I won’t try to give it back to him. I’m starting to learn with Garrett that he says what he means and he means what he says. He reminds me so much of my father sometimes it’s scary. Adam is nothing like my father. My father would have cut off his own arms before he ever would have disrespected my mother.
Adam got what he wanted today. That I’m certain of in all of this. He wanted to scare me, to run me off. He knew it would hurt Jordan. He knew it would rile Garrett. He knew it would make me feel bad. I’ve underestimated how calculating Adam can be. Which has me asking myself a very important question that I haven’t fully explored until today.
What does Adam want with me?
I’ve asked myself over and over why does he want me, but never what does he want with me. Those are two vastly different things. I don’t have an answer to either question and I don’t think I’ll figure them out tonight. But I will figure them out.
People often mistake me for naïve, but that’s exactly what that is…a mistake. I’m kind. I try to see the good in light of the bad. I believe in people. I love hard and quick. I’m happy more often than not. I would rather spend my time smiling and laughing than crying or complaining. I’m not perfect. I have bad days, but I don’t let them run the show. I’m not stupid.
I was in denial with Adam. Somewhere I knew what he was doing to me. I didn’t cut him loose like I should have. A mistake. A huge mistake that caused me a lot of unnecessary pain. He won’t continue to inflict pain on the people I care about or me anymore. I’m done.
I slide between my sheets as Jordan puts his gun in my nightstand. He turns off the lamp and climbs in next to me, scooping me almost all the way onto him.
I hurt the person I love the most in life today.
“I love you,” I say strongly, hugging him with all my might.
“I love you too, Em. More than you’ll ever know,” he responds tenderly, pressing a long kiss to my hair.
We fall asleep quickly, holding each
other through the night. Reminding each other that the other is there…and always will be.
“You’re disgusting,” I whine as Jordan farts and shoves my head under the covers.
He was true to his word. When my alarm went off this morning, Jordan was back to normal. We went to the shop together, baked, locked up and came back to my place. We’re having another movie day, which has included a lot of flatulence torture.
“It’s not gonna be funny when I puke all over you,” I yell, trying to fight my way out of the stench.
He’s laughing so hard I’m able to break free. I launch myself at him and twist his nipples as hard as I can. He screams a bit like a girl and tries to knock me away. Now I’m the one laughing like a mad woman.
This feels good.
I release him and we both fall back, panting and snickering.
“Wanna take a ride?” Jordan asks as the credits roll on Dude Where’s My Car?
“Yeah.”
We get up and dressed quickly before climbing on the back of Jordan’s bike. The air is crisp, but it doesn’t bite as it flows over my skin. I hold Jordan a little tighter as he guns the engine and flies down the two-lane highway that bends and moves with the river below us.
We ride for hours. I don’t know what tiny town we end up in for lunch, but it’s basically empty other than the diner and a handful of shops. We laugh and enjoy our meal before heading back to Bluffside. Jordan’s decided he’s staying at my house again tonight. I didn’t fight him. I don’t know if I’ll fight him on that one again. Not in the near future anyway.
Jordan pulls up in front of the old Victorian house that’s been turned into a duplex where he lives. He needs clothes.
“I’ll wait here,” I say as he climbs off the bike.
He pauses for a moment and then nods in agreement. Jordan’s back to himself, but he still wants me close. I get it.
I look down the leafy street and spy Cody as he carries a few big black trash bags into the back of a panel truck.
“Cody!” I call out, swinging my leg off the bike.
“Hey,” he says sweetly as I make my way to him.
“Are you moving?” I ask the dumb question.
There’s not much in the truck, but it’s clearly being loaded.
“Yeah.”
“I just wanted to say thank you again. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t show up when you did.”
I thanked him profusely yesterday, but I don’t feel like it’s enough. Maybe I’ll bake him a cake. Is that a weird way to thank a teenager? Probably, but it’s what I do.
“Emily,” Garrett’s deep sultry voice scares the crap out of me.
I jump and gasp, clutching my heart.
“Stop doin’ that!” I yell, smacking his chest.
His lip twitches, but he doesn’t smile. My gaze travels from his pushed aside hair, down his square, stubble-covered jaw, to his navy T-shirt-covered torso that’s straining beneath the material, to his jean-clad legs, ending on his boots. Then I flick my gaze where I truly need it to be. Kaleidoscopes.
“Em!” Jordan screams with concern.
“Here!” I reply quickly before he can freak out.
His broad shoulders sag in relief as he makes his way over to us.
“I think Jenna was on to somethin’ last night,” Jordan says before cracking my butt with a sharp smack.
I shriek and jump forward, plowing into Garrett’s chest. He wraps both arms around me, dropping the bags he was carrying.
“And based on the look Sharp’s givin’ me right now, Caleb was right too,” Jordan says through a chuff.
I look up to see dark brown, angry eyes drilling holes into Jordan.
“Where’re you movin’, Cody?” Jordan asks, unperturbed by Garrett.
“My place,” Garrett grunts.
“Why?” I ask concerned.
“He’s my brother.”
Garrett finally stops glaring at Jordan and turns blue eyes down at me.
“Huh?” I ask, completely lost.
“Garrett didn’t know. That’s what I was talking to him about yesterday. My mom died four weeks ago. I don’t have any family left,” Cody explains, picking up the bags that Garrett dropped before launching them into the truck that I now notice is the Sharp Furniture truck. I’m quick.
I pull out of Garrett’s warm embrace and pull Cody into mine, shocking him. He gives me a few uncomfortable pats before I release him.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” I whisper before pressing a kiss to his cheek.
His face flames from the contact and his deep green eyes flick nervously to Garrett. If that man has his angry brown eyes on right now, I’m going to kick him in the shin.
I look over my shoulder to find them a stormy blue-grey I haven’t seen before. He looks sad. I’m not a fan of these eyes at all. I’m sure they have a lot to do with finding out he’s got an orphan brother he didn’t know about, but there’s something else lingering in his gaze just for me.
“Wanna hand?” Jordan pipes in.
“We’re good,” Garrett responds, still staring into my eyes.
“Don’t be silly. Four sets of hands are better than two,” I say dismissively, linking an arm with Cody.
I quirk a brow at Garrett and he shakes his head at me. I see a small smirk forming and it makes my face beam.
Cody leads me into the house where he’s been staying, explaining it’s a friend’s house. There isn’t much in the tiny room other than a single bed, a dresser and a closet.
“Most of my stuff’s in storage. Our house was in foreclosure when my mom died. I got as much out as I could, but I lost a lot,” Cody says coolly.
He reminds me so much of Garrett right now. There’s that same cold barrier around him. It’s like he’s completely numb. Grief affects everyone differently. I learned that after Mom died. I went to a support group for a few months and none of us felt the same way. It was just a little different for everybody. That’s how it goes with pain.
I help him stuff the last of his clothes in trash bags. I try to fold his clothes neatly, but he tells me just to shove them in. I sense he wants this over with quickly. The family that lives here isn’t home and I wonder briefly if he had a falling out with them, but I keep my questions to myself.
Jordan and Garrett stay outside the whole time. I refused to give Jordan the details about why I took off yesterday. I just told him I learned something about Garrett that threw me for a loop. I’m guessing he’s being filled in on that loop now.
When Cody and I come outside carrying the last of his belongings, we find Garrett and Jordan sitting on the back of the truck…smoking. Both of them are smoking. I want to find it disgusting, but the two of them look serene and very James Dean. I quiver instead, as I watch Garrett take a long drag, tip his head back and exhale in relief.
Yeah, that was hot.
Cody clears his throat and I realize I’m blocking his path while I visually molest a man who was my boyfriend yesterday.
Garrett’s gaze snaps to mine when he hears Cody. He holds his cigarette between his lips, climbs to his feet and strides to me. He takes the bags out of my hands before returning to the truck. I still haven’t moved. That might be the sexiest I’ve ever seen the man look and I can’t feel my legs.
I start to stumble and Cody wraps me in his arms.
Jordan chuckles at me as he flicks his butt into the street. After Garrett puts the bags in the truck his eyes come back to mine. Then he’s moving again. He takes a quick drag before flicking the butt near Jordan’s. Cody passes me off and carries the rest of his stuff to the truck while Garrett yanks me against him.
“What’s wrong?”
“You,” I answer honestly.
His arms instantly drop from my back, but I grasp his shirt with my cold hands to keep him close to me.
“I hate smoking. But watching you just now, cigarette in your mouth, you being you…I almost fell over. Cody caught me. I’m not done with you, Gar
rett. Not by a long shot. If you don’t want me, tell me now. Otherwise, I’m comin’ to your house. Jordan and I will help you get Cody settled. I’ll make us all dinner. And then we’re gonna talk,” I finish sounding as normal as I ever have with him.
His eyes are that blue-grey sad again as I watch him and wait for an answer. When he just continues to stare, I figure he’s decided he’s done with me. I release his shirt and move around him, feeling pretty sad myself.
“Mouth,” he grunts roughly, grabbing my wrist.
I’ve never had a man demand kisses with one word the way he does. I feel like I should hate it, but I don’t. I freaking love it. I must take too long thinking about his grunting because he jerks me back to him and smashes his mouth to mine.
Garrett leads. I like that too. His hands go to my butt, dragging me up his body. I wrap my legs around his trim waist and drive my fingers into his hair when he slants his head, plundering my mouth with his tongue.
I whimper with need as a rumble of desire breaks from his chest. I tangle my tongue with his as his dances across mine. His fingers are digging into my cheeks almost painfully as he kisses me with more passion than I’ve ever experienced. Garrett tastes like mint and tobacco. It’s heaven in a way I didn’t think it could be.
When I begin to rock my hips against him, a loud ear-piercing whistle breaks through the heat between us. Garrett pulls his mouth from mine and presses a hard kiss to my dimple. I beam at him and his messy hair. I’ve ruined his suave look. I like this one even better.
“Shit,” I hear and look to see a car pulling up, Cody irritated about it.
A teenager climbs out of an old beat up car, similar to Cody’s and stalks toward him. Garrett rights my feet on the ground, interlacing our fingers before pulling me toward the truck.
“So you’re just gonna run off like a pussy?” the boy spits at Cody, shoving him with both hands.
Cody doesn’t stumble, but his jaw ticks as he lowers his gaze to the ground.
“Hey,” Jordan warns, moving to step in.
“You fucked my sister!” the boy screams.
Mugs of Love Page 16
