by Hadley Quinn
His hands went to his waist and he slid his boxers down. She hoped she didn’t gasp out loud and bit her lower lip to keep quiet. She was intrigued by what she saw but… Really?
To ease her nerves she smiled and said, “You’re gonna have to take it easy on me, champ.”
He kind of smiled. “Of course I’ll be careful with you, Ava. And speaking of careful…” He reached over to the nightstand to open the drawer and she watched him remove a condom. She had her own birth control handled, but Gabe struck her as the type of guy to really make sure. “I don’t know if you feel like, you know, going through our history or whatever, but I got a clean bill of health when I was, uh, released…”
She shook her head. “I don’t need to know about your past. Let’s leave it there.”
He looked at her in such a way that she couldn’t read. Was he grateful? Surprised? Did he feel guilty for some reason? She realized that she had referred to his “past” and he was talking about his “health.” They were two different things. Sure he was older than her, and she knew that guys had a different lifestyle than she did—shoot, most people in general did—but there wasn’t exactly a reason why she didn’t need to know right then.
He cleared his throat and nodded as he tore the wrapper open and slipped on the condom. “You’re not the type of girl that I need to worry about, though.”
She smiled again and shook her head. “No, I’m definitely not.”
He lowered himself over her and kissed her neck. The tip of his cock touched her entry below and her heart picked up its pace again. He was slowly working it at the edge when he suddenly stopped and rose above her.
“Wait a minute, definitely not? You mean… Ava, are you… Are you a virgin?”
He looked at her with utter disbelief and it startled her. Was that an awful thing? Was he mad at her? Disappointed?
She swallowed and said, “Yes, technically.”
“Technically?” he repeated. “Aww hell.”
He tried to get up but she stopped him. “ ‘Aww hell’? Are you kidding me?”
“I’m sorry, but that just… I can’t do this.”
“Why? What’s wrong with being a virgin?”
“Nothing is wrong with it. That’s the thing. I’m about to- to…”
“Deflower me?” she asked, biting back a smile.
He stared at her for a second and then couldn’t help but let out an uncomfortable chuckle. “Yeah, that.”
“Gabe, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this to happen with you.”
He was silent as she watched him wrestle with his thoughts. Finally he said, “I don’t know what to think, Ava. I mean…you are young and beautiful and…perfect. How can I spoil that? What kind of…” He sighed. “Fuck, how did I not realize this?”
“You mean I didn’t have ‘VIRGIN’ flashing in bright lights over my head?” she asked sarcastically.
“Well you’re the sexiest little thing I’ve ever seen,” he retorted almost angrily. “I could tell you were different but this… I can’t believe that out of all the things I’ve been mentally prepared for, a damn woman is my undoing. My brain is telling me to walk away, but the rest of my senses are in mutiny.”
“Your brain sounds pretty stupid to me right now.”
He stared at her for several seconds before a light laugh escaped him. “Why, Ava? Why are you so set on this? Just answer me that and then…then I’ll have to think about it.”
She paused for only a moment, but only to pull him down closer to her. She didn’t want to lose the momentum of their intimacy, and right now, she wanted him so badly it was killing her. She arched her back slightly to rub against his cock. He closed his eyes and sighed but allowed her to continue.
“Because I told myself that I wanted to be with a man that turned me completely inside out; I wanted to be with a man that not only gave me butterflies, but gave me the whole damn zoo. When it comes to you, there is no question in my mind that you have a physical and emotional effect on me like I have always wanted to feel from someone.”
She rubbed against him some more to keep him aroused, and she could tell that he was, but he was also extremely hesitant.
“I am a half second away from bolting right now,” he admitted quietly, leaning his forehead against hers.
“I can tell,” she whispered.
“I should put my clothes back on and cover your gorgeous, perfect body with a blanket.”
She smiled but moved her mouth to press against his. “I really, really don’t want you to do that,” she told him as she caressed his lips with soft kisses.
“Ava, you could turn the strongest man to the dark side. You know that, right?”
“I only want you on my side,” she countered.
“But to not ever have been taken by a man… Are you sure you want it to be with me?”
“I need it to be with you, Gabe,” she whispered in his ear.
She could feel his body react to her words. He sucked in a breath of air and slowly let it out. “I don’t feel like I deserve you,” he said softly, and he laid his forehead humbly against her chest.
She ran her fingers through his hair and along his neck. “Why? What don’t you deserve?”
“Your innocence,” he murmured. “Your purity compared to the life I’ve had… It just seems so…”
“Necessary,” she answered. “Gabe, look at me.” She had one arm wrapped firmly around his back to keep him close, and she placed the other hand softly against his face as he lifted his head. “Remember? We’re gonna make good memories to overtake the bad ones. I promise. Not the other way around, okay?”
“You don’t need to make progress this way, Ava. Trust me, just holding you in my arms and kissing you has done more for me than you’ll ever know. This is something that can wait, honey. I’m not saying that to be chivalrous. I really mean it.”
Her lips caressed his mouth and his jaw, and she moved along to his neck and his earlobe. She pulled him closer and continued to move below him. He started to kiss her again and then they were back to where they were before.
“Ava, you’re so beautiful—inside and out. I want you to know that I will never take this for granted. Ever.”
“Then make love to me so I’ll remember it forever.”
He smiled. “Uh, you might not have a choice but to remember, sweetheart. I’ll do my best to be gentle but…”
“You’re huge. I know.”
He laughed again as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. “Humor might possibly help you through this,” he murmured.
She made him look at her and said, “No, you will help me through this. And I’m going to savor every second of being with you.”
They continued to kiss again, and Gabe was every bit as gentle as he’d always been with her. He worked his way in and there was some pressure and a bit of discomfort for her at first, but no pain. Then he softly said, “This might hurt a little, sweetheart. Are you okay so far?”
She nodded and he continued to kiss her, doing his best to distract her with his mouth. Then he worked himself in a little further, and a little further, going slow and careful, and then—
She made a noise, a whelp, and he said, “Fuck, I’m sorry,” and he laid his head against her again.
“I’m okay, I swear. You’re all the way in, right?” She moved a little to get him back into it, and even though it felt really tight, she was managing just fine.
“Nah, I got a few more inches to go.” She was sure she couldn’t hide her fear before he said, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” and buried his lips into her neck.
She chuckled, but man was she relieved! He’d kill her. Death by gigantic cock.
He slowly moved inside of her and let out the sexiest groan she’d ever heard. “Hell, you feel so good, Ava…”
He kissed her lips and continued to gently move inside her, and she just reminded herself to stay relaxed. It seemed to work—Chelsea had b
een right about that. And besides, it wasn’t like she hadn’t used a little assistance over the past few years. A battery operated boyfriend had been beneficial now and then.
Gabe brushed the side of her face with his hand and said, “I’m gonna pull almost all the way out and then slide back in. You tell me if it hurts, okay? If it does, I won’t do it again.”
She nodded, so he did just that. He pulled himself almost entirely out, and then began to slide back in. There was still a little discomfort, but it wasn’t painful when she stayed relaxed. She told him to do it again and when he did he said, “You’re gonna damn near finish me, girl.”
“I want you to,” she told him.
“Are you too uncomfortable to come this way?”
She slowly shrugged and then smiled. “I don’t know, Gabe. Are you gonna make me come?”
He smiled and said, “As long as you’re okay. You tell me if it’s too much, alright?”
She nodded, so he returned to kissing her, adding some play on her nipples now and then, and angling himself to work between her legs in different ways. He hit one spot just right and she made a noise.
“That was a good moan, right?” he smiled against her face.
“Yes. That spot was good.”
He pressed his mouth to hers and she could feel him smile as he moved inside of her. His hands slid behind her ass and he hit the sweet spot again, only better. She released a sound that surprised even herself, and then a thousand ripples of pleasure rolled through her body. She clutched him tightly, kissing him hard while digging her nails into his back until his release followed a few seconds later.
Gabe took his time kissing her softly and then settled next to her, holding her close.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Ava couldn’t even begin to describe what it was like to wake up next to Gabe that morning. She was warm between his sheets, snuggled up beside him, and he immediately asked how she was feeling.
“Very happy,” she replied.
He propped himself onto his side and placed a hand on her hip. “Happy?” he smiled.
“No, I said very happy.”
“Very happy,” he repeated with a nod. He kissed her shoulder and said, “Then I’m incredibly happy.” When she looked at him and smiled he added, “Ava…”
She was fully attentive and eager to hear anything he had to say. But he looked so serious that it worried her. “Is something wrong?” she couldn’t help but ask.
He seemed surprised. “No, nothing’s wrong, honey. That’s just it,” he smiled. “Nothing’s wrong. I just…wanted to tell you that last night with you…” He sighed as he considered the right words. “It was just amazing. I mean I never thought I could feel so…relaxed with someone. No, that sounds dumb. I mean that I don’t even know what I need anymore and I just… You do and… What the hell,” he scoffed.
He was apparently frustrated that he couldn’t say what he felt he should be saying, but what he said was enough for her. She smiled and propped herself up on her elbow to mirror his position. She ran her hand along his waist and said, “Well I just need you. That’s all I go by. It’s purely selfish intent.”
He studied her for a moment and lifted an eyebrow. “I knew it. You used me for my body.”
She stifled a laugh. “Uh huh, you’d better believe it. Somebody should.”
He gave her a crooked grin. “Ava Carmichael, I’m shocked.”
“You shouldn’t be. You made me cream my panties the first moment I saw you.”
He let out a laugh that absolutely thrilled her. “You are so good to me, you know it? Damn, girl…”
Gabe pulled her to him so there was no longer space between them. His kisses made her feel loved and appreciated, and they also aroused her again.
He smiled when her hands took ownership of his hardened cock.
“Ava, lemme give you a rest, okay?”
She continued to kiss and caress him. “You’re going to deny me the gratitude of pleasing my man?”
He smiled even bigger. “Damn, I’ve been pleased beyond pleased. But not at the expense of your comfort, sweetheart. You’re gonna over do it and be pretty sore for the next day or so.”
“Oh? And you’re an expert on my vagina?”
He laughed out loud. She didn’t think she would ever tire of hearing him laugh.
“Well I’d like to be,” he murmured, and they carried on with another session.
When Ava came out of the shower forty minutes later, Gabe was cooking eggs in the kitchen. She stared at him for a minute without him knowing she was there. But then he said, “I’d rather you come kiss me again.”
She chuckled as he turned around. She should have known he was always aware of his predators.
“Some kind of God-given gift you have, I guess,” she told him.
He shrugged as he dumped an omelette onto a plate. “Years of practice.” He smiled at her, but in a cheerless sort of way.
She moved into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him from behind. She could take Gabe shirtless every day of her life. She kissed his shoulder blade and he placed his hand against hers that rested on his stomach.
“Will you tell me about the rest of your tattoos?” she asked. He’d briefed her on everything on his front side, but she’d yet to study his back.
“Uh, sure,” he replied.
She was particularly interested in the one that was right between his shoulders. It was a triple stretch of barbwire fencing between two rough looking wooden posts, and within the lines of wire were initials.
She traced it with her fingers.
“Those are my fallen comrades,” he spoke reverently. He paused for a few seconds. “Two that I knew since training and three of my closest teammates over the years. Smitty, Peeps, Alfie, Tin Dog, and River Rat. All for one, one for all—they certainly had my back.”
She nodded at the significance—the tattoo and the location of it. She kissed it and wrapped her arms around him again, her fingers softly running over the speed bumps that were his abs. “I’m sure there isn’t a person in the world that you get closer to,” she said softly.
He barely nodded and then explained the other two tattoos on his back, one at his waistband and another on the back of his shoulder. There was another that wrapped around from his front side and she’d seen most of it. Now she could see how it ended along his waist.
He served her an omelette. “You were wondering if the initials were previous lovers, weren’t you,” he joked.
She laughed and shook her head. “No, actually I wasn’t. Maybe if it was a tattoo of a bedpost and not fence posts.”
He smiled.
“But I didn’t figure you the type to tattoo any females on your body,” she added. “I already assumed it had to do with your job.”
He nodded and they sat down at the small table together. He had juice and sliced bananas already there and she really appreciated the effort he put into feeding her. But while they were on the subject of former lovers…
“So tell me about these women that have been lucky enough to be with you,” she said, trying to be indifferent as she took a sip of juice.
His fork stopped just before his mouth and he looked at her over the mound of egg on it. Then he slowly put it down and said, “Uh, you mean real relationships or just…?”
She met his eyes as she understood what he was saying. She took another drink of juice just to maintain a casual front. “Well, if you’ve had dozens of one night stands that didn’t mean anything, then I guess I don’t need to know about ‘em. But maybe you should mention any that were actual ‘relationships.’ ”
“Well, that’s kind of the thing,” he shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t really have relationships with women. I mean…I guess just a few, but I’ve never… Ah, shit. I don’t know what I’m trying to say,” he grumbled.
She didn’t mean to agitate him, but he looked pretty unnerved. Judging from what he’d mentioned in previous conversations, he didn’t like to get
serious with anyone.
“Well,” Ava shrugged. “If you can just be honest with me…”
He studied her for a moment. She could tell he wasn’t planning to keep it from her, but she was sure the fact that she’d been with him and only him made him uneasy.
He sighed. “I don’t let anyone get close to me,” he admitted. “Not really. There are only three women that I’ve actually, uh, slept with more than once. I could say that the rest didn’t mean anything, but even those three didn’t mean anything to me either. I don’t get serious with anyone.” He gave her a level gaze, like he was warning her.
Okay, point taken. She nodded and took a bite of her omelette. That must’ve been why he was hesitant to be with her the night before. He either didn’t want her to regret a one-night stand, or he had feelings for her more than he expected.
She was going to go with the latter. She’d gone with her instincts so far and she could still feel it from him now. This was definitely not just a summer fling. There was something indefinably beautiful between them and she was going to treat it as such.
“So tell me about these three women,” she said nonchalantly.
He paused to think it over. “I’ve never felt so dirty until now,” he spoke quietly, like he was ashamed to confess it.
“Don’t,” she shook her head. “I’m certainly not holding it against you.”
“Well I’ve never thought much about one-night stands because I always made it clear that that’s all it was going to be. You’re willing to dismiss those, but still want to know about the shitty friends-with-benefits relationships?” He paused for a few beats and then sighed heavily. “Uh…the first relationship was with Amy, right out of high school. We’d dated some of our senior year, kind of off and on. I enlisted in the army and she was pissed, even though she knew that was my plan. Dumped me the day before I shipped out.”
He took a bite and chewed for a moment.
“But she was your first?” she was bold enough to ask.
He slowly shook his head. “Um, no. I was probably fifteen or sixteen for that. I don’t even remember anything about it, to tell you the truth. An older girl at a friend’s party… I sound like a douchebag and I’ve barely begun,” he murmured.
