by Hadley Quinn
“This is nice,” she said as they arranged themselves on a quilt between a maple tree and a Douglas fir. “Do you spend much time here?”
He shrugged while he laid his head on her lap. “An hour here or there. But I can’t ever beat this, lying here with you.”
He smiled up at her so she leaned down to kiss him. She had her legs stretched out in front of her and she lounged back on one hand. The other hand was used to run her fingers through his hair.
There was a natural silence between them after that, neither of them set on saying anything in particular. Gabe’s eyes were closed, and the last thing he remembered was running his fingers over her leg, thinking how soft her skin was.
And then a child’s head was tossed in his lap, the little girl’s dark brown eyes still wide open, petrified with fear. The blood was saturating his fatigues—
“What happened?” he heard a voice exclaim all of a sudden.
He realized he was standing up a few feet away from Ava and she seemed really upset.
“Gabe? What’s wrong?” she stood.
He immediately tried to control his breathing, but just the thought of whatever he’d done or said had him terrified. He just couldn’t bring Ava into that world. No. Never.
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head of the nightmare he’d had. He put his hands to his forehead and rubbed it for a few seconds.
“Nothing?” she asked, coming closer. His breathing must have been noticeable because she put a hand on his chest. “Your heart is racing. Gabe, what happened?”
He clasped his hands behind his head and he just stared at her for a moment. He had no idea what to say but he exhaled and wrapped his arms around her to hold her close.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ava softly asked.
She apparently realized he must have had a nightmare, but there was no fucking way he was going to tell her about it.
“I’m okay now,” he said. “I just…wake up like that and…sometimes it’s so real that I get confused when I see my current surroundings.”
While they were still holding each other she asked, “What was the nightmare about, Gabe? Can you tell me?”
He didn’t speak for a long time. The last thing he wanted to do was shut her out, but some things were better kept to himself.
“I dreamt that I was asleep, fully dressed in my combat gear, but I was on my back. That’s not a position I would ever be sleeping in during a mission; must’ve been because of the way I was just laying.”
He paused and she waited. He didn’t add the rest of it though, so she took a step back from him to look at his face. “What else?” she asked suspiciously.
He studied her for a moment, trying to determine how to make her just drop it. “Nothing good happened after that.” He let go of her and took another deep breath. “I’m hungry, how ‘bout you?”
He collected the blanket from the ground and shook it out. As he folded it she asked, “What happened in the dream, Gabe?”
He slowed what he was doing. “It’s just a nightmare, Ava. A lot of scary shit just gets jumbled together.”
She paused as he motioned for her to follow him to the house. “So what was this particular nightmare jumbled with?”
He stopped and looked at her. “This isn’t up for discussion, sweetheart. I don’t need for you to be thinking about that stuff.”
“Gabe, it’s not the same to me because I wasn’t there. Maybe that’s why you don’t want to tell me—because you don’t think I can relate or understand—but it’s not going to scar me like it has you. You were there; I wasn’t.”
“Damn right I was there. And because of these fucking dreams, I feel like I’m there again. It’s just part of the job. You don’t need to suffer, too. It would freak you the fuck out.”
“I’m suffering now, just from knowing that you should be getting some of this stuff off your chest.”
“I’ve seen shrinks, Ava. I know the drill. But it doesn’t stop the nightmares. I’ve seen a lot of things that you shouldn’t hear about, and being haunted by it comes with the territory. ”
He started walking again and she joined him. When they were inside she asked, “Haven’t you been given something to help you sleep?”
He laughed, but it was sarcastic. He took her hand and led her to the bathroom, pulling open the medicine cabinet. “Bam. A shitload of stuff I’ll never take.”
She carefully reached for a bottle and then did the same with the other four. He wasn’t even sure if she could tell what they were prescribed for but he allowed her to look them over.
“So why don’t you take any of these?” she asked gently.
“I’m not a pill popper,” he answered matter-of-factly.
“Gabe, just because you’re prescribed a medication, it isn’t a terrible thing. There are medications out there that are necessary. I’m not up to date on prescription drugs… What are these for?”
“Sleep.”
“All of them?”
He eyed her carefully. “Yes, all of them.”
“I’m just asking.”
“Well I’m not depressed. I admit I have anxiety, social anxiety mostly, but I’ve always kind of been that way. And now, after the past few years, I don’t want to talk to anybody about my job. But I’m not depressed. Yeah I have PTSD, if that’s what this is all about. It’s just something I’m going to have to live with.”
“And what about sleep? What’s wrong with taking something once in a while to sleep?”
“I do on occasion,” he admitted with a sigh. “But not unless it’s been days since I’ve slept. Look, Ava… I know you’re trying to help, but I’ve been through this for a few years now. I’m given a leave, the anxiety and nightmares fuck me up, and a bit later, I’m doing a lot better. Just in time to do it all again,” he added dryly. “It’s a process, one that I’m familiar with.”
She seemed to study him very carefully right now, like she was about to question him further on it. But he wasn’t prepared for what she actually wanted to know.
“Gabe, what is your status with the army? Were you discharged?”
He felt his heart drop a little as he watched her carefully. “I left honorably,” he replied evenly. “Voluntary separation. That means it was my decision and no one else’s.”
She seemed relieved. Why, was she worried that they cut him loose because he was crazy or something?
“So your contract was complete, you chose to be done, and you don’t have to go back, right?” she asked him.
He was grateful for the way she worded the question. “No, I don’t have another contract with the army,” he answered truthfully.
Again she seemed relieved and didn’t try to hide it. She let out a breath of air and wrapped her arms around him. “Good. I don’t think I could let you leave again.”
He held her for a minute before he finally said, “Let’s eat something.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
It was only a matter of time—two more days, to be exact—before outside forces began to interfere with Gabe’s peaceful milieu. It was mid-July, the lake recreation was in full swing, and he was actually enjoying life without having to worry about death and carnage.
They divided their time between the main house and the guest cabin, but mainly that was just Ava. Gabe didn’t spend much time in the main house except to watch an occasional movie with her, or to do any kind of maintenance inside. When he spent a couple of hours a day taking care of things around the property, she usually worked on some paintings. Sometimes she would draw outside, just so she could watch him work.
On Thursday he was refinishing the deck. Ava had offered to help but he declined, so she sat in a chair as close to him as she could. He loved having her near him wherever he was. He felt like he had a guardian angel—except he was lucky enough to have her in the flesh.
After about an hour she mentioned how hot the sun was getting. “Let’s go swimming,” she said.
Gabe agreed it was
pretty hot but his body had somehow become accustomed to endure it. He smiled and said, “I want to finish this first. You go ahead. I’ll watch from here.”
“But I want you in the water with me,” she pouted.
“No work, no play,” he reminded her for the fifth time, playfully scolding her with a wag of his finger. “It’s why I’m here, sweetheart. To take care of everything in exchange for staying here.”
“So how did you end up over here, anyway? You only said that someone recommended you to my dad or something.”
He nodded as he dipped his brush into the can of deck stain. “My Lieutenant Colonel knows your dad and it just so happened that your former caretaker here was having some health issues. Your dad wanted to get this place in shape for summer, so he took my LC’s suggestion. Washington just seemed like a nice place to go. I have no family anywhere, at least none worth connecting with, so I jumped at the chance.”
“Wow, lucky me,” she smiled.
He returned the smile.
“It’s odd to think that in a way, my dad actually did something that was good for me. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I hate it, I guess.”
He considered that as he dipped the brush again and stained another section. “Perhaps fate had a hand in it.”
Gabe didn’t quite know what to think about that kind of thing, though. He struggled with the idea that God would allow so much evil and desolation to take over the earth. He’d prayed his ass off when all seemed hopeless during an assignment, especially when good people were dying all around him. If there were a loving God looking over everyone, he wouldn’t have had to watch innocent children be executed right in front of their parents.
“I could believe that fate brought us together,” she finally said. “But I guess I don’t really care how to explain it as long as this is the result. Me with you, that’s all that matters.”
He smiled at her with a nod. “Yeah, I’d be a dumb shit if I questioned the one good thing in my life.”
“Well I could say the same thing about myself,” she agreed. She noticed his ice water was getting low so she told him she would refill it for him. He made her kiss him before she went inside.
“You demand so much,” she teased against his lips. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pressed up against him. “But maybe you should demand a little more.”
He was definitely interested, but gave her a cocky smile. “Good things will come to those who wait.”
She leaned back with interest written all over her face. “Oh yeah? You promise?”
He bent forward to close the gap between them again. He kissed the corner of her mouth, and then the other corner, and then he nipped her lower lip. “Cross my heart,” he smiled.
While she filled up his water jug she smiled at him through the kitchen window.
Gabe’s phone rang. He wasn’t going to answer it, but when he glanced at the name on the screen, he figured he should get it over with while Ava was busy. “Mr. Carmichael,” he answered.
“You wouldn’t happen to be the same Gabe that was parading around with my daughter in Seattle, would you?”
He ran his hand over his head when he answered, “Yes, I would be the same Gabe.”
“And what exactly do think you’re doing? My daughter is off limits, do you hear me? I didn’t hire you to help yourself to whatever the hell you want! Maybe if you’d like to continue staying at my house, you’ll do the smart thing and keep your hands off my daughter.”
Gabe was just about to take the call away from the house when Ava came outside, but she took the phone out of his hand and asked, “Did I hear you say ‘Mr. Carmichael’?”
Without waiting for Gabe’s response, she put the phone to her ear. There was a pause as she listened. “Yes, it’s Ava,” she growled at him. Then she put the call on speakerphone. “Who else would it be? Do you have other forsaken daughters out there?”
“Watch your mouth, young lady. And thank you for confirming my suspicions by rudely interrupting the call. I’m disappointed in you.”
“And why is that?”
“I’ve hired someone to fix up my vacation home and you bring him to meet your mother? And to the Harper’s party? Introducing him as your boyfriend?”
“So?”
“So?!” he exploded. “I take it you want him to find employment elsewhere, is that it?”
Gabe shook his head, not at the thought of losing a job, but just for the look on Ava’s face. Before, she had been angry and defensive. Now she looked worried.
“Why would you do that?” she asked in a calmer tone.
“Because he’s there to work, Ava. Not fondle my guests.”
“That’s funny, I’ve always felt like one of your guests. Thanks for the confirmation. And have you checked your personal email account? I sent you some pictures. Will you look them over and call me back? On my cell phone.”
“What pictures? I don’t have time for your games, Ava.”
“You’re worried about the work done around here? Take a look at the email. And for your information, I like being fondled by him!”
She hung up on him and Gabe thought she was going to throw the phone in the lake.
“Sorry,” she mumbled, handing over his phone. “He brings out the worst in me.”
He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his head. He wasn’t sure how to proceed since coming between a father and daughter had never been his intention. “Uh, what are we looking at here? Should I pack my things?”
“No,” she scoffed with a smile. “My dad doesn’t give a shit about me one way or another. This is just his way of finding some leverage.”
“He told me if I stopped seeing you, I could stay here.”
She studied him carefully. “He threatened you?”
“Sounded pretty damn pissed.”
“He’s an asshole, Gabe. I have no idea why he even wasted his breath.”
“Well he’s a smart asshole,” he said, picking up his brush again. “I don’t intend on giving you up, so I guess I’ll be packing up my things.”
He returned to staining the deck.
“You can’t be serious.”
He looked up at her. “Ava, he gave me this job. He can sure as hell fire me from it.”
“And how would that get him anywhere? He’ll have to find someone else to be his caretaker and he’ll have me to deal with. It’s kind of not his style. The less he has to do with me, the better for him.”
“Then why did he bother to call me?” He didn’t even look at her, just kept right on staining. He was having a hard time remaining objective while feeling like a piece of shit.
“I can only assume my mom somehow relayed to him the name of my boyfriend. Knowing my mother, she probably threatened that she wouldn’t leave him alone until he did something about his ‘wayward daughter’.”
Gabe’s phone rang again, and before Ava could react, he told her, “Babe, just let me talk to him, okay?”
He didn’t give her an option and he answered the phone as he walked toward the dock. He spent five minutes conversing with Brad Carmichael and then turned around and walked back to the house. The guy was even more irate than before but it was nothing Gabe couldn’t handle.
He slid his phone into his pocket as he walked up the steps, and went right back to work.
Ava stood at the sliding glass door. Gabe didn’t look up but of course he knew she was there. At last she said, “Well?”
He didn’t even miss a beat and kept right on staining. “The bottom line is that your dad really is an asshole.”
He glanced over at her and she looked extremely pissed.
“Sorry,” he told her with a smile. “I guess it’s not my place to say shit about your family like that.”
She angrily crossed her arms over her chest. “I couldn’t care less what you say about him. But what did he say, Gabe?”
He stained another section as she impatiently waited for his answer. “I talked some sense into him.”<
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“Huh? What do you mean?”
He moved the can of stain to the last corner of the deck. “I mean that I convinced him to let me finish the summer here, you’d most likely get tired of me and move on, and everything would be back to normal. He’d have his lake house in pristine condition, and you’d be convinced that a nice Harvard boy is more your type.”
“I have no idea how to take that. And my father rarely ever bargains with anyone. Please tell me that you know what you’re doing.”
He finally looked at her. “I’m doing what I think is right, if that’s what you mean.”
“And what is ‘right’?” she asked.
While he dipped his brush again he gave her a side-glance. “Sorry Ava, but he’d rather make money than be concerned over your happiness. He’s selling this place at the end of the summer.”
Her jaw dropped. “What?”
Gabe looked at her with a sigh and finally put the brush down. “It’s why he has me here. He wanted the house sold and he wanted the most he could get for it. I’m sorry, I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and she turned on her heel for the house.
Shit. Fuck. He did not handle that right at all. He wasn’t good at family drama, but maybe he’d been missing the point. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about them; all he needed to do was take care of her.
He headed upstairs and lightly knocked on her bedroom door. “Ava. Let me in, please.”
“I can’t talk right now. Give me a few minutes.”
He paused. “Then listen, okay? It’s gonna be fine. I know how much you love this place—I know you’ve reconnected a bit—but…it is your dad’s place, remember? Maybe it’s a good thing to just break that tie to him. Do you really want to be here only because he lets you be here?”
He waited half a minute but she didn’t say anything.
“I’ll be here until August 15th, hon. You can still be here as much as you want and—”