“They said it’s going to be at least six hours before the power comes back.” Louise’s hands flew to her head. “Six hours! I thought this would be an easy one, so I already let my kitchen staff go for the day. What am I going to do?”
“We are going to figure it out.” Toby walked the length of the stainless-steel prep island taking stock of what they had. He was about to make a recommendation when Jane crashed through the door dressed in her bathrobe and a lopsided hairdo. Looked like she’d made it through curling only one side of her hair, but man she was beautiful. He hadn’t seen her since she’d gotten so upset at the winery. He wanted to apologize again, but she spoke before he could.
“Why is the power off?” She caught sight of Toby in the corner and immediately halted.
“They gave me some song and dance about the wind last night,” Louise grumbled. “Something is busted somewhere and it’s going to take six hours to fix!”
Jane hadn’t looked away from Toby. He didn’t look away from her either.
“I was just starting to cut up the vegetables and pull out ingredients for my sauce,” the older woman lamented. “Now we’re going to have to order pizza for Beth’s rehearsal.”
“No pizza.” Toby finally found his legs. He smiled at Jane. “We can figure this out together. The three of us.”
“Right.” Jane’s hand clamped the top of her robe closed even though she had it belted at the waist. “We’ll figure it out, Louise. After I get dressed.”
Did she have to? Toby let his eyes linger on her smooth, toned legs as she walked out the door. He was so tempted to follow her, to ask her to hear him out, but now wasn’t the time.
“Well?” Louise brought him back with an elbow to his ribs. “What’s the plan then?”
Toby turned his attention back to the counters. It looked as though she’d been preparing to serve steak and chicken along with potatoes, zucchini, and onions. “Kabobs. We can make them over the fire.” They had plenty of grill grates for campfire roasts. “We’ll move the dinner out of the dining room and into the pavilion. It’ll be lighter outside. We can decorate and light the space with candles after the sun goes down.”
“Kabobs.” Louise seemed to mull it over. “What about sides?”
“We can use some of the big pots Mara uses for canning and set them over the fire to boil up some risotto.” He didn’t know much about risotto, but if you dumped in enough broth and parmesan it always tasted pretty good.
“I do have a lot of rice.” It appeared Louise was coming around to the idea. “Here.” She walked over and handed him a knife. “You start cutting up the meat. I’ll work on the veggies.”
“Perfect.” They could get her all prepped and set up and then head to the ceremony spot to run through the wedding before dinner.
The door flew open again. This time, Jane was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, which she somehow made look as sexy as the bathrobe. Her hair seemed to be in a state of chaos, but Toby liked that too. It reminded him of how she’d looked when she’d woken up in his bed.
“What happened to your hair?” Louise handed her a knife. “Go on over there and help Toby cut the meat.”
Jane did what she was told. “My curling iron quit working.” She joined Toby at the island and glanced down at the cubes of meat he’d cut. “I thought we were having chicken and steak.”
“Toby suggested kabobs. We can cook them over the grills and do some risotto in pots over the fire.” Louise sliced through a zucchini. “He’s a smart one. Good in a crisis too.”
“He’s definitely good in a crisis,” Jane murmured, but Toby couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She cut the meat like it took all her concentration.
“Goodness girl, slow down,” Louise scolded. “You’re going to take off your finger moving so fast.”
“Right.” Jane inhaled and seemed to hold her breath, her hands settling into a more normal rhythm.
“I like your hair,” Toby offered.
“Right,” she grumbled, but a smile peeked through.
“Nothing a little updo won’t fix,” Louise clucked from the other side of the island. “I’ll help you with that later. Right now, we need a little more chopping and a lot less talking.”
* * *
“That boy cares for you.” Louise hovered over Jane, pinning strands of her hair into a creation that Jane hoped would be better than what she’d walked in with. Judging from the pins stabbing her head and the way Louise muttered occasionally, she wasn’t sure they’d ever get there.
Jane shifted on the stool that they’d set up next to a credenza in the great room. “What makes you say that?” She flinched as another pin went straight into her temple.
“It’s all in the way a man looks at a woman,” Louise insisted. “He gets those starry eyes when he sees you, just like my Craig still does for me.”
“I know he cares about me.” She didn’t doubt his feelings, but she’d started to doubt her own. Bernadette was right. Jane did crave more. But still something held her back. Something she wasn’t even sure she had the strength to acknowledge.
“Do you care for him?” Louise never beat around the bush.
“Of course I do.” She swallowed the tears that proved that statement true. “But I got so mad at him last week.” She’d totally lost control at the winery, and she was so ashamed to admit why.
Louise stopped working on her hair. “Mad? Whatever for?”
Jane closed her eyes, feeling that anger rise up in her again. “He was talking about riding, about his injury. He was making light of the fact that he almost died…”
“Ah.” Louise picked up another pin. “Well, it’s understandable that upset you.”
Jane couldn’t let herself off the hook so easily. It might’ve been understandable, but it certainly wasn’t rational. “I’m still angry at my father.” She couldn’t manage more than a whisper. It sounded awful to say that out loud. “I’m still mad, Louise. I’m still mad he went on that trip when he didn’t have to,” It was ridiculous. In her heart, she knew he didn’t want to die. She knew he never would’ve chosen to leave her for good, but she’d held on to that anger, and it had all come out with Toby.
The revelation didn’t seem to horrify Louise though. Instead of a shocked gasp, the woman simply nodded. “Oh, I was angry at your father too.”
Jane turned to look at her. “You were?” Or was she only trying to make Jane feel better?
“I was.” Louise spritzed some hairspray over Jane’s bangs. “I couldn’t believe he’d take a risk like that when he had everything.”
Pressure built in Jane’s chest, relief bubbling to the surface. Was it possible someone understood what she felt, what she’d been so afraid of? Everyone understood the sadness, the grief, but the anger…it had been so undeserved. That’s why she’d stuffed it away. She couldn’t talk about it. Not even with her mother. Her father had been the most amazing person. He’d loved her. She had no right to feel that way.
“But then,” Louise continued, “maybe a month later, I was standing in the kitchen kneading bread dough. The sun was coming in through that window above the sink.” She sighed as though she could see it now. “The colors on that mountain were so vibrant they were alive. And this sense of purpose and fulfillment washed over me, and I realized that was how your dad must’ve felt when he was climbing a mountain or boating on that crazy river.”
Jane held her breath. “You think being out there gave him a sense of purpose.”
Louise leaned down bringing her face in line with Jane’s, her green eyes brimming with tears. “I think doing all of those things made him feel more alive. The same way I feel when I’m baking or cooking for people. The way you probably feel when you’re teaching.”
Not teaching. Writing. That sense of purpose and fulfillment washed over her whenever she discovered something new about her characters, or when she found exactly the right words to describe a mountain sunset.
“We all need that feeling, J
anie,” the woman murmured, patting her cheek. “And we all find it in different ways.”
Those words set her tears free. She’d never thought about it like that before. But she couldn’t imagine giving up writing. Even if she was never able to publish another book, she would still want to write. “In a way he was chasing his dreams then.” She’d always assumed he was being reckless, living for the adrenaline rush. She’d thought the same thing about Toby. But it went deeper.
“Yes, sweetie.” Louise carefully pressed one more bobby pin into her hair. “And your father would want you to chase your dreams too. Whatever they look like.”
Jane nodded, catching the tears with the tips of her fingers in an attempt to preserve her makeup.
“Hold on. One more pin.” Louise tilted Jane’s head to the left and worked another bobby pin in—that had to be at least fifty—and then handed her the mirror Jane had brought. “Ta-da! You look lovely.”
“Especially with bleary eyes.” She laughed a little. She could always count on Louise to understand, to offer what she needed to hear. That had been the missing piece. She’d allowed herself to feel the sadness, to feel the pain. But she’d been too afraid to acknowledge the anger.
“Come on now.” Louise helped her off the stool.
Jane stood, feeling lighter inside. She peeked into the mirror again. “You’re a miracle worker.” Louise had fashioned a twisty updo that looked neither too refined nor too messy. She’d taken a frizzy head of hair and made it into a masterpiece.
“Sometimes your mom and I have to help fix the bridal party’s hair.” The woman put the leftover bobby pins into a small bag. “I suppose she’s told you she’s thinking about selling the place.”
“Yes.” Jane didn’t know if anyone else was aware, so she hadn’t talked to anyone about the plan. Well, except for Toby. “I think she should. She should be free to follow her dreams too.” Jane had no doubt her father would want that for all of them. “How do you feel about it?”
“It’s impossible to know if whoever buys it would keep me on.” Louise led the way back into the kitchen where they started to load the bags of marinating kabobs into a box. “I’d sure miss this place, but I’m getting close to retirement. It’s time for me to spend more time with my grandkids. And Mara needs to do what’s best for her too.”
“Yes, she does.” Jane abandoned the stool. “Whoever buys it would be crazy not to keep you on.” She went to hug the woman. “What kind of kitchen manager can also do hair while offering free therapy sessions?”
Louise laughed. “Only one that I know of. I’m sure gonna miss you when you go back to California.”
“I’ll miss you too.” She would miss all this more than she’d ever dreamed, but she had to make herself stop crying now or she’d never get through Beth’s rehearsal.
“We’d better get the meat down to the pavilion.” Louise handed Jane one of the food boxes they needed to carry. Toby had gotten most of them, but they’d wanted to keep the meat refrigerated. “After you, my dear.” Louise fell in step behind Jane and locked the door on their way out.
“At least the weather cooperated.” Jane meandered along, feeling a sense of calm. The power might’ve gone out, but the late afternoon sun shone bright and cheerful, scattering sparkles across the lake’s tranquil surface. “It might actually be more fun out here.” The rehearsal dinner was supposed to be a little fancier—Jane had even bought a new dress for it at the boutique in town yesterday, but they were still in the mountains, and the pavilion would give the evening a rustic elegance.
“I have to admit, I was worried,” Louise said. “But these things always have a way of working themselves out.” She winked at Jane. “Love has a way of working itself out too.”
“Can I take the box?”
Jane had been so focused on her footing as they walked down the path that she hadn’t noticed Toby waiting for them in the pavilion.
Her heart latched on to Louise’s comment about love. “Sure. You can take the box.” She handed Toby the food.
He took the box from her but stood and admired her instead of setting it down. “New dress?” he asked, his eyes telling her how much he appreciated it.
“Yes.” Had she thought of him when she’d bought it? Maybe.
“You look stunning,” he said simply before he carted the box to a table.
Louise raised her eyebrows in a silent See?
She did see. She saw how Toby looked at her, she saw how his eyes intensified every time they met hers. And it made her float.
After he set down the box, Toby came back to where they were standing. “We’ll head up to the hillside for the rehearsal and then I’ll help you cook the kabobs,” he promised Louise.
“I can get started, but I’d appreciate the assistance.” She unpacked the boxes. “I hired extra serving help too. Just for the night.”
“Great.” Toby turned to Jane. “Ready?”
“Sure.” She wasn’t sure she could find her footing, but she could try to walk up that hill with him. At least he’d be there to catch her if she didn’t make it.
They started off taking on the trail behind the pavilion and followed the steps her father had built into the incline. There were so many things Jane wanted to say to Toby, but she wasn’t sure where to begin. He was quiet too, but he smiled at her and squeezed her hand as they neared the top.
When they crested the hill, Jane’s mom met them at the start of the aisle. “There you are. Did you help Louise get everything together?”
“It’s all taken care of,” Jane said. “Thanks to Toby.”
The compliment seemed to startle him. “We make a great team.”
“We do,” she agreed, letting her gaze linger on his.
“Everyone’s taking their places.” Mara cut off the moment and all but shoved Toby down the aisle. “You’ll stand on the steps of the gazebo with the other groomsmen to start the ceremony. And Jane”—she steered her in the opposite direction—“you’ll be walking down the aisle right before Beth.”
“Got it.” She almost teased her mother about her militant attitude, but that wasn’t a good idea when Mara was in wedding coordinator mode. “We can talk later?” she asked Toby almost shyly. His smile perked up. “Of course,” he murmured before walking away.
Beth traipsed over to where Jane stood. Jane smiled, but her gaze kept drifting over to Toby. He’d taken his post on the top step of the gazebo and was talking with Ethan.
“Everyone take your places!” Jane’s mom yelled like the director on a movie set.
Looking a little startled, the pastor joined Ethan at the center of the gazebo.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this for real in two days,” Beth squealed. “This is so much more fun than I ever dreamed it would be.”
Jane hugged her friend tight. “I’m so glad.”
The violinist started to play, giving the flower girls their cue. Beth’s nieces twirled and skipped down the aisle, making everyone’s hearts melt. Jane took her spot in line right before her best friend. It wasn’t even the real ceremony, and already tears were stinging the corners of her eyes.
“You forgot your bouquet.” Her mother shoved a bundle of wildflowers into her hands.
“Of course.” She had to practice holding flowers while pretending to fluff the train on Beth’s wedding dress. That would be a trick.
Her eyes wandered to Toby again and she wasn’t surprised to realize he was looking at her too. The air charged between them, even across so much distance. She smiled at him, tears still threatening to fall.
“You’re supposed to go,” her mother hissed from the sidelines.
Right. She had to walk. She had to move. She couldn’t stand still anymore. Not here and not in her life.
She’d made it all of two steps when Toby suddenly strode to the middle of the aisle to meet her.
“Hey! What’re you doing?” Jane’s mother hurried toward them, but Toby held up a hand to stop her.
�
��Give me a minute,” the cowboy said, addressing everyone. “Please. I need one minute with Jane.”
Everyone seemed to quiet instantly. Even Jane’s mom backed off to give the two of them space.
Jane stared into Toby’s eyes, her heart threatening to leap out of her chest. But it wasn’t because everyone was staring at them. At her. For once in her life she didn’t care about being the center of attention. For once she didn’t want to run away and hide. Let them stare. Never in her life had she seen a man look at her the way Toby looked at her now.
“I don’t want to go back to riding nearly as much as I want to stay with you,” he said.
“Oh my God,” Jane heard Beth say behind her. She turned around to shush her friend and quickly faced Toby again, her knees wobbling violently.
“I’ll give it all up.” He eased a step closer to her. “My whole career. I’d rather give it all up than walk away from you. I love you. Maybe I’ve always loved you and I was too afraid to realize it.”
The mountain air seemed to thin even more. Jane couldn’t draw in a deep enough breath to speak.
Toby grinned at her a little, and then he stepped back into his place by Ethan. “I just wanted you to know that. I couldn’t wait one more minute to tell you.” He glanced around sheepishly. “Sorry for the interruption everyone. We can get back to the rehearsal now.”
Jane wanted to tell him no, they needed one more minute. Something in her heart had shifted. She wanted to tell him everything—that she couldn’t let him give up riding and she couldn’t walk away from him either. But her mother rushed over and prodded her toward the gazebo. “Okay everyone,” she called. “Let’s keep this moving. We still have a lot to cover!” Jane knew she was trying to protect her. From the attention, from being put on the spot. But strangely, Jane didn’t want to be protected.
Everything around her moved again—the pastor, Beth and her father walking slowly down the aisle.
Jane’s mother moved her into position. She’d missed her moment to respond. She’d missed her moment to tell Toby what she knew in her heart. She was finally free to love him too.
First Kiss with a Cowboy: Includes a bonus novella Page 20
