by Cara Carnes
Fuck.
Talk about a screwed-up mess. She’d had sex with Kristof one night and she was already thinking about…
What?
Okay, so she’d thought about what he’d be like as a husband. A father.
Fuck knows she wasn’t going to be a good mom. Then again, both she and Kristof knew exactly what not to do. Between Peter and Kostya there was a huge ass manual on precisely what not to do. So maybe they’d have a shot.
Together.
But how would that work?
She couldn’t leave The Arsenal. They were her new family—the one she’d never had.
But was it fair to expect him to leave Russia?
Grrrr. Frustrated that her mind was thinking about hearts and happily ever after instead of the mission, Addy grabbed her weapons and a com and exited the safe house. Talk about a mess. She hadn’t even showered, and she was wearing Kristof’s T-shirt like a lovesick idiot.
Love.
Her heart thudded at the thought.
Did she even know what the hell love felt like? Did it feel like a vise squeezing hard at the thought of never seeing the person again? Was it the quickening of her pulse whenever the person was in the room? Or the joy that swept through her when Kristof smiled at her like she was the most beautiful and perfect thing he’d ever seen?
Damn.
Talk about a clusterfuck. She may have shelved the operative Addy last night. It felt good to just be herself—like she actually knew who she really was—but now that she’d woken up and entered a new day, she needed that Addy back. Where the hell had she gone?
She hadn’t shown up when she’d showered. Kristof had joined her beneath the heated spray last night. Then she’d fallen asleep tucked against him. Sex hadn’t ever been that much fun. Exhilarating.
She gripped the steering wheel as she navigated the crowded streets and made her way to Gavriil’s strip club. Hadn’t there been a better, more out-of-the-way place to meet? Unease pricked her skin the more she thought about what-if scenarios.
No.
Her team was with Kristof. They’d keep each other safe.
Maybe.
She’d gotten the majority of her mind sorted by the time she pulled up outside Gavriil’s club. Three armed guards stood outside the entrance. They moved aside and held the door open for her as she entered.
Okay, Gavriil had security sorted.
A surveillance drone flitted around her end. Someone had dispatched Arsenal drones. Good.
She took a deeper breath and made her way toward the men clustered at the same booth area they’d used last time she was here. Kristof stood between Beast and Shep. All three turned her direction when she halted a few steps away.
Shep chuckled.
Kristof took two steps forward and wrapped an arm around her waist. Her pulse quickened. He claimed her mouth in a hot, hungry kiss—the kind that promised the same carnal pleasure she’d had last night. She returned the kiss, took control and clasped his head.
Whistles sounded around her. She pulled back and kept her gaze averted from her asshole teammates. Kristof chuckled as he kissed her mouth once more, then whispered in her ear. “I love seeing you in my shirt, but I’ll enjoy stripping it off you more.”
Her nipples hardened as her thoughts wandered down the trail he’d sketched out so vividly. Desire rolled through her as he finger-combed her hair.
“You rolled out of bed and came straight here, didn’t you?” Concern filled his voice. “Did you eat?”
Addy shook her head. “I’ll eat later.”
“Come, sit.” He put an arm around her waist and guided her to the oversized booth. Beast, Shep, and Johnny stood while Cracker and Thunder sat on the other side of Gavriil, who watched her with his darkened gaze. Amusement crawled along his handsome face in a wise grin.
“You’re the mysterious Addison Rugers,” he said.
Addy tightened as she sat in the booth and scooted over for Kristof to join her.
“Kristof spoke of you often through the years,” Gavriil said as he leaned back in the booth. “I should’ve realized you were Iriana. He wouldn’t trust just anyone with his network.”
Kristof motioned for a waitress. The scantily-clad blonde stopped in front of him with a smile. “Bring a few of your most popular appetizers and dishes. Please. And water and orange juice.”
The woman scurried off. Silence loomed a few moments as Addy’s team watched her. Though no one said anything, she sensed the amusement in their gazes.
Okay, she’d always kept her infrequent one-night stands private. Even though she trusted them with her life and they were the closest thing to family that she had, her team didn’t need to know about her sex life—or lack of one.
But Kristof was different. He was…important. She’d recaptured a piece of herself that’d gone missing long ago. She wanted the men who were like family to accept the man she…
Not going there. Nope. She wasn’t thinking about what she felt for him. Not right now.
“Fuck off,” she growled.
“Think we’ll let Lavrov handle that,” Cracker said.
Kristof chuckled and settled his arm on the booth behind her. “We weren’t expecting you.”
“I’m not sure whether to be proud or insulted that you came straight here after waking up,” Beast said. “Did you think we were going to bury him somewhere?”
“Maybe I was worried about the five of you,” Addy said.
Gavriil laughed. “I wouldn’t take this one on, gentlemen. She’s got twice as much fight in her than all my men combined.”
“That doesn’t exactly ease my worries,” Addy said. “What did I miss?”
“We were discussing the transition,” Kristof said. “Gavriil and Maksim will take lead on dividing up what will remain of the Sidorav assets. There won’t be many. Most will be disbanded. Properties will be given to their rightful owners or torn down.”
Sadness and regret filled her as she glanced at Kristof. He’d have nothing left from his past or his mother. “That must be hard.”
“What is?”
“Letting it all go, having nothing left. I know how tough it is for me to think about my parents and have nothing to remember them by,” she admitted. “Don’t give it all away until you’re sure. I’m not sure she’d want that for you.”
“Father burned or gave away everything of hers when I was in the camp.” He held her tighter. “But you’re right. There are a few places I might keep for a while. I’ll show them to you, see what you think.”
Anticipation quickened her pulse. He wanted her opinion on them. Traversing the emotional path of a relationship was harder than Addy expected. It left her exposed, vulnerable. But she sensed it was easier with Kristof than it would’ve been with anyone else because she trusted him not to intentionally hurt her.
“I’d like that,” she said. “I bought my parents’ house back a few years ago. I haven’t gone there yet.”
The admission settled within the silence. Beast and Shep raised their eyebrows.
“That’s the first I’m hearing of that,” Johnny said with a smile. “I’m glad. I can’t wait to see it. Cracker and I are decent with a hammer.”
“Kristof’s decent with construction work, too,” Gavriil said. “We’ve overhauled a couple of places the past year.”
Addy glanced at Kristof. He smiled and regarded her with a half-hooded gaze. “I’d love to help you work on it.”
“That’d be great. A group project,” she said. The rightness of having the six most important men in her life work on restoring the one memento of her past she’d salvaged felt right, a step in the right direction. Now all she needed to do was rope her girls into helping.
No telling what Bree and them would do. Amusement rolled through her as she contemplated the potential antics. House renovations Arsenal style.
“What about Maksim?” Thunder asked.
“Maksim has agreed to remain here in Russia and oversee the first
phase of the process so that I can accompany you all to Texas,” Gavriil said.
“You’re going to Texas?” Addy glanced over at Beast. “Does Zoey know this? Wait. Does Mary know this?”
“She’s his sister,” Kristof whispered in Addy’s ear. “He won’t cause any problems.”
Of course. She wasn’t concerned with him causing trouble, but they’d need to make sure he was safeguarded. Was he on any watchlists? She’d have to check with Mary and make sure he wouldn’t run into any problems.
“I’m looking forward to seeing Stacia again. I’ve missed her.” Love shone on his face. “What your group has done to keep her safe is a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”
“You already have.” He’d helped keep Kristof safe. “She’s safe. Happy.”
“She’ll be happier once she’s reunited with Olaf.” Gavriil drummed his fingers on the table. “Maksim mentioned the boy has some concerns about seeing her.”
The boy. Addy smiled. Olaf was only a few years younger than Kristof and Gavriil. Her stomach rumbled when the waitress approached with armloads of food. Two more followed with even more.
Beast and Shep pulled another table up and dragged chairs into position. Pitchers of water and orange juice and empty glasses and plates appeared next.
“Ladies first,” Kristof said.
Amusement flickered across her teammates’ faces as their gazes shifted from him to her as though they were an interesting tennis match. “I’m not a lady, but I’ll go first because I know how these pigs put away food.”
Thunder laughed.
Addy studied the eclectic buffet of Russian food before her and opted for butterbrots and tvorog with some fruit to begin. She scowled at the kasha. If she never saw any form of porridge again then it’d be too soon.
“The kasha is good—the best around,” Gavriil commented. “Though, Kristof isn’t a fan either.”
“Too much of it at the camp,” Kristof commented.
Addy tightened as her team tensed around her. Yeah, not going there. Not today. She focused on the butterbrots—open-faced sandwiches on the best bread she’d ever tasted. A moan escaped her as she made her way through the first quickly.
That was the one thing about Russia she enjoyed. The food.
No. She enjoyed more than that. She couldn’t blame an entire country for one vile bastard. Or several.
“That’s where he met you,” Gavriil said. Intensity resonated within his gaze when she looked at him. “The camp. I should’ve realized you were her. The pieces are all together now.”
What the hell did that mean? She glanced at Kristof, who offered a slight smile as he leaned over. His hot breath fanned along her ear. “I’ve only ever spoken of three women. The girl I knew at the camp. An operative named Addy. And Iriana.”
All her. Her heart warmed with the confession.
Shep and Johnny arm wrestled for the last piece of bread, a tasty rye that surpassed anything she’d ever tasted, then both turned red when the waitress appeared with another batch. Addy was relieved they were finally relaxing and enjoying themselves. The past few weeks hadn’t been much fun for anyone, but she and her team had carried the brunt of it.
Hopefully they’d get some R&R soon—assuming that whatever went down with Bob and his cronies was handled quickly. Or didn’t require them.
A bit of time off would be good. She could show Kristof around and…
Stop.
“You’re pretty quiet,” Shep commented. Amusement glimmered in his gaze. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine.” Addy took another bite of the food she’d taken. Kristof poured her a glass of orange juice and handed it to her. She swallowed. “Thanks. You’d better get some food before these piranhas eat it all.”
“We ate when we arrived,” Kristof said with a grin. “Apparently they forgot.”
Gavriil laughed. “Their stomachs will make Chef happy. He rarely gets to cook this much at once. Let them feast.”
“Marshall and the other guys are going to be pissed that they missed this,” Cracker said.
“We will send food for them,” Gavriil announced. He called out orders to the waitress. She scurried back into the kitchen area.
Poor girl. It wasn’t even noon yet and she was already run ragged. Addy studied Gavriil. He ran a syndicate, one as large as Kostya’s had been. Yet he’d helped Kristof free women and children from the underground auctions.
Because of what had happened to his sister.
That didn’t make him a “good” person, but Addy didn’t think there was such a thing. Everyone was alternating shades of black and white with a whole ton of gray in the middle. No one was perfect. Sometimes the strife for perfection simply tarnished a person even more.
She finished off the last bite of her food and wiped her mouth. Kristof reached over and put more on her plate. She swatted his hand.
“Stop. I’m full.”
“You need to eat more,” he admonished. “You need your energy.”
She silently cursed when her team started laughing. “Seriously, guys? We aren’t in kindergarten. Grow up. I had sex. Great sex.”
“TMI,” Shep commented. “I for one am glad to see you doing something other than work.”
“Or someone,” Johnny whispered.
Cracker shook his head. Beast glared at Johnny.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Kristof growled. “I was thinking we could go fishing for a few hours. It’s not the optimal time of the day, but the water will be pleasant.”
“Fishing?” Cracker leaned forward. “You fish, Red?”
“I used to.” She set her silverware down. “Kristof and I would sneak out sometimes, before dawn broke. There was this river not too far from the camp. We’d take our hooks and our line and go into the woods and find some worms. Then we’d go down there and sit.”
“Not sure we ever caught a fish,” Kristof said with a laugh.
“We always released what we caught,” she whispered. Killing animals hadn’t ever been a line she’d crossed willingly in the camp. Freeing the rabbit the first night she’d met Kristof had cemented an affirmation of life she hadn’t betrayed during her time there.
“Better not mention that to Nolan,” Shep said with a chuckle.
“He’s against fishing?” Gavriil asked.
“He’s got a problem with worms.”
“Maggots,” Addy corrected. “Slight difference.” Mary had led his team out of a harrowing jungle ordeal when their team found themselves stuck between two warring drug cartels without a viable extraction. He’d shared enough of what’d happened when she and the other girls had arrived at The Arsenal for Addy to know she wouldn’t care for maggots either if she was him.
“Thinking he wouldn’t see that,” Johnny said. “Is this a group fishing trip, or just you two?”
Addy looked at Kristof. Although she wanted to spend more time alone with him, she could tell her team wanted to go. And she really wanted them to get to know Kristof better. More importantly, she wanted time with him outside of missions.
“The yacht is a distance away, but we could all drive there,” Kristof said.
“Or you could use mine,” Gavriil offered.
“I’d appreciate that.” Kristof looked at Beast. “You should invite the others.”
“Not sure they’d be okay with everyone taking time off at once,” Addy said. “But it’s worth a shot.”
“I’ll text you the location and information,” Gavriil said. “You can forward to whomever needs it.”
“Thanks,” Kristof said. “You should come with us.”
“I’ll try to join you later if possible. I’ve got a few meetings to deal with later that can’t wait.”
“Anything we can help with?” Addy offered. She wanted Kristof to have time with his friend, and she wanted to get to know Gavriil better. He was clearly an important person in Kristof’s life.
“No, but thank you. I’d rather you and Kristof rest while y
ou can.”
Beast shook his head when his phone chimed. “Nolan thinks we’re nuts. Marshall and Gage and their teams are in, though. Nolan’s crew will take point at the house.”
“We should bring Olaf with us,” Addy said. “I know he needs rest, but the sunshine would be good for him. He can rest below when he gets tired.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Kristof said.
Olaf’s transition to a normal life wouldn’t be easy, but she’d learned a few things while at The Arsenal. Recovery wasn’t about coddling the person. It was about ensuring they felt safe enough to heal.
“She’s right. There are plenty of us to help get him from one place to another if needed, but he was walking around the hallway early this morning, so he’s ambulatory enough to get out a bit,” Thunder said. “I wouldn’t want to be cooped up if I was him.”
“Treat him like an invalid and he’ll act like one,” Shep said. “He can sit on a boat just as easily as he can sit in a house.”
The man crossed his arms and winked at Addy. She smiled. Shep always read her easily, often better than the rest of the team. Whenever he weighed in on her side, the others typically followed.
“A few hours won’t hurt and enough of us know sign language to communicate with him,” Johnny said. “We’ll watch out for him.”
Addy could tell Kristof was torn. She touched his thigh. “Let’s make his last memory of Russia a happy one. Or, as happy as it can be.”
“You’re right.” He looked at Gavriil. “And the missing Sidorav leaders? Were they found?”
“They were, along with a few others who’d escaped,” Gavriil said.
Which meant their mission business was resolved for now. She shifted the conversation back to the planned fishing expedition. “And you’ll come?” Addy asked Gavriil. “I can ask Zoey if she has any more pictures of Stacia. She said she was going to try and get a few more.”
“You know the way to a man’s heart.” His gaze shimmered. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m thinking Olaf isn’t the only one you’re trying to make happy memories for.”
Addy shrugged. Kristof’s entire existence had revolved around avenging his mother. Then Olaf. And apparently her. The last part unsettled her because she wasn’t used to someone caring that much about her. Sure, she had her teams and the girls, but no one outside her work world had ever cared about her enough to avenge her.
