by Marla Monroe
Gunner realized that his friend was living this with her to the extent that someone could. He’d bought into the entire story and was empathizing with her to a degree that it affected his expressions and the way his eyes shown bright when he looked at Gunner.
“Go on, Jackie. What happened?”
“One night he carried a small plastic basin down when he got home. I knew it was earlier than usual and figured he’d skipped his meal for the night. He pulled me out of the cage and strapped me down to one of the odd-shaped tables he had down there. Then he washed and braided my hair. I almost smiled. I knew from the past that when he braided my hair, he planned to kill me. It was finally over, so I didn’t care what else he did to me. I mean, washing and braiding my hair didn’t faze me.
“My arms were strapped to the table, but my wrists and hands were free. While he bent over me, my hand brushed against the knife he carried in his belt. I couldn’t believe my luck. The next time he bumped against me I slipped it out and shoved it under my hip, praying it wouldn’t show and he wouldn’t notice that it was missing. He’d finished what he had planned to do and left me there. I figured he’d gone to dig my grave next to the others.
“Being alone didn’t bother me. I equated being alone to being without pain. It was a welcome part of my life at that point. The weaker I got, the more I didn’t want to die. I don’t know what was different compared to the time I’d tried to kill myself unless it was because he was the one to kill me and I didn’t want him to have that privilege. It hadn’t been my choice to end my life. It had been his, and I wasn’t going to let him win.” She drew in a deep breath and lifted her head to stare at them.
Gunner almost took a step back at the amount of rage and determination on her face. A bright light shined from her eyes that was more like madness than anything else. It spooked him. He couldn’t imagine what she had described and still wasn’t sure how much of it he could believe. The one thing he did believe in that moment was what he saw in her eyes, a fierceness that could only be described as bravery in the face of certain death.
“I struggled against the straps, but they were too tight for me to try and slip out. I worked the knife out from under me and started trying to cut the straps holding me down. I had to focus on making my fingers work to locate the handle of the knife. I managed to cut my fingers before I found the handle, but I managed to cut one free then the other.
“I panted trying to slow my breathing so that I didn’t pass out by hyperventilating. My hand and fingers were bleeding from all the botched attempts at getting free. I knew holding my arms up would slow the amount that came out, but I couldn’t hold them up forever.”
“It had to have taken a lot of determination to do it,” Hawk told her. “Not only because of your hands being cut but also because of what all you had already been through. That’s amazing.”
She shrugged. “No. Maybe if I hadn’t already tried to kill myself, it would have been.”
“If you had been meant to die, you would have,” Gunner finally spoke up.
“Maybe.” Jackie sighed. “After I managed to get free, I wasn’t sure what to do next. I was sure I was locked in, and if I wasn’t, he’d see me trying to get away. I didn’t think I had a lot of time. I decided to wait at the top of the stairs and see if I could hear anything. If he was up and moving around, I hoped I’d hear it and know to wait. At the last minute, I grabbed the knife to carry with me.
“There were exactly twelve steps up to the door. I counted them as I climbed up. I nearly fell twice. I was so tired, and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. When I reached the top one, I sat down and pressed my ear to the door. I couldn’t hear anything at all. I wasn’t sure if he was asleep in bed, on a chair, or if I just couldn’t hear anything. It felt as if every minute lasted an hour. And with each one that passed, I seemed sleepier and sleepier. I had to remind myself to breathe. It made me angry that I had gotten this far and might fail. I guess the anger gave me enough strength to keep going.”
Gunner watched her as she rubbed at the scars on her wrists. First one then the other, and she repeated it over and over until Hawk grabbed her hands to stop her. He was glad someone had sense in that moment. He was completely helpless. Her words were far too real now. She had described exactly what it had felt like the time he’d been shot and nearly bled out before Hawk had gotten to him.
“What did you do, Jackie?” Hawk finally asked her.
“I managed to get to my feet, and I checked to see if the doorknob would turn. If it didn’t, I was going to try and force the slide out of the door. Wasn’t much of a plan, but I wasn’t giving up. The knob turned, though, and I found myself in his kitchen. I couldn’t believe it. I was going to make it. Before I reached the back door, though, he walked in with a shocked expression. I think we stared at each other for an entire minute before he yelled at me and started toward me. I groped for the knob on the back door and tried to open it, but it would budge. I realized later that there was a deadbolt I had to throw first.
“When he snagged my braid and tried to pull me backward, I slashed at him with the knife I still had in one hand. It hit his forearm, and the impact jarred my wrists to the bone. He screamed, and then I can’t really remember what happened after that. I just know that we fought and he ended up on top of me with the knife in his chest, dead.”
Chapter Nine
Jackie sat there without saying anything else for a long time. It felt as if she’d run a marathon. She was sweating, exhausted, and panting like a dog. Just going back over it had drained her. At least she hadn’t thrown up this time.
“Are you okay, Jackie?” Hawk asked, gently squeezing her hands in his.
“Yeah. I’m good. After I finally rolled him off of me and realized he was dead, I crawled over to the phone on the counter and managed to grab it. I dialed 911 and just started crying. The police and ambulance showed up and took me to the hospital. I spent four days there before I was released. The cops asked a lot of questions, but I guess my injuries and the basement pretty much told the story.”
Jackie sighed and picked up the can for another drink, but it was empty. Gunner walked over to the little fridge and pulled another one out. After he’d opened it, he helped her hold it until her hands quit shaking. It tasted so good. She savored the slight burn as it went down. The first few swallows of a soda were always the best.
“Anyway, they told me later that they’d uncovered four other female bodies in his back yard and all of their personal items had been locked in his safe. They returned mine to me later. One of the cops was an older man. He brought his wife to help me dress and get ready to be discharged. He seemed to know that I wasn’t going to trust anyone again. He was right. It was a long time before I could stand to be in the same room with a man.
“They told me that the only reason I had survived to call the police was because the cuts in my hand and fingers were shallow and would have taken a good deal of time for me to bleed out. At that point, I didn’t care. Instead, I had to figure out how to survive in a world that I no longer felt safe in. I had to find somewhere to live and a job to pay for it. Oddly enough, the court awarded me with a couple thousand dollars from his estate to reestablish myself. I’m not sure I would have made it without that.”
Jackie watched as Hawk slowly stood and held out his hand to her. Gunner walked over and held out his hand, as well. Jackie took another swallow of her Diet Coke then Gunner took it from her. She let them pull her to her feet and guide her over to the bed.
“Let’s get you ready for bed. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. You must be exhausted.” Hawk urged her to sit then knelt to remove her boots and socks. “Fuck!”
“What?” Gunner dropped to his knees next to him. “What is it?”
“Look at the blisters on her feet. I told you those boots weren’t good for walking.” Hawk shook his head. “Can’t do anything about it now. I’ll get some salve and bring it by after lunch, hon.”
“D
on’t worry about it. I’m planning to go by and get some better shoes when I get up in the morning.” She looked over at the clock and groaned. “Later this morning.”
“No you’re not, babe. You’re staying in bed till at least noon. We’ll get you some salve and a pair of house shoes to wear to the store to pick out something better for your feet. I’ll tell Scoot and Duke that you won’t be working until those blisters heal.” Gunner sighed and ran his hands through his hair. She noticed again how there appeared to be silver or gray highlights in his brown hair that poked up after he’d plowed his fingers through it.
When she looked over at Hawk, she couldn’t help but admire the way his darker brown hair curled a little as it almost brushed the tip of his shoulders. She had the urge to run her hands through it to see if it was as soft as it looked. Unlike Gunner, there wasn’t a scar visible on his face, but his hazel eyes appeared older than his real age. For a second, she wondered if she was older than either of the men.
“Let’s get your clothes off and you into bed.” Hawk stood after setting her boots and socks to the side.
“I can handle getting undressed, Hawk. I don’t need anyone’s help with that.” Jackie didn’t want to see the pity on their faces if they saw her body with all the scars.
“Gunner, get her a warm bath cloth to wash her face,” Hawk continued as if she hadn’t said a word.
She didn’t bother fighting him when he pulled off her shirt. He was stronger than she was and she guessed it really didn’t matter one way or another what they saw. She wasn’t going to be there more than a month or two at the most.
“Mother fuck!” Gunner’s voice behind her made her hang her head for a second. Then she turned and looked at him over her shoulder.
“Don’t stare at me. Give me the damn cloth.” She held out one hand and curled her fingers.
He looked up to meet her gaze then walked around the bed to hand her the warm, wet cloth. She washed her face then her neck before handing it back to him expecting that he’d return it to the bathroom. Instead, he tossed it in that direction and continued to stand there while Hawk made her lie back so he could remove her jeans.
“I don’t want you standing on those blisters unless you have to. Let us take care of this.” Hawk nodded at Gunner, and they each took a leg and pulled down after she’d unfastened them and shoved them as far down her hips as she could manage.
“There you go. Get some sleep, Jackie,” Hawk said.
“Don’t get out of this bed until we knock on the door to bring you the salve and shoes. I mean it, babe. We kept you up all night nosing where we had no business. I’m sorry.” Gunner turned and strode to the door where he kept his back to her while he waited on Hawk to join him.
When they’d closed it behind them, and the automatic lock clicked into place, Jackie relaxed against the mattress and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t crying, but somehow it had been good for her to talk about it out loud. She realized it had been cathartic to tell them about it. There’d been more, but it was only a blip in her history. Not worth thinking about really. It had been bad luck and nothing more.
The last thing she thought about before she drifted off was that she hoped this wasn’t going to end up being another bad memory in a long trail of dark ones she ended up locking away. She was kind of tired of all the bad luck and wanted something to be normal for a change.
* * * *
Jackie jerked awake at the pounding on the door. She scrubbed at her eyes trying to remember where she was and why someone was beating on her door. Then she remembered and managed to focus on the clock on the bedside table. Twelve thirty. From the light seeping into the room around the blackout drapes, it was daytime.
“Fuck!”
She needed more sleep, but she had to be at work at six anyway. She still needed shoes and something to eat, not necessarily in that order. Crap. Who was beating on the fucking door?
Jackie cringed as she dropped her sore feet to the floor and stood. It didn’t get any easier when she walked across the floor to the door either. She slipped the drapes to one side and groaned.
Gunner.
She opened the door and let him in. Short of causing a scene, Jackie figured that was the only way to settle the matter.
“Come on, babe. Back to bed and off those feet. I’ve got some medicine and a pair of house shoes that should work for now. We’ll go get some decent shoes for you later.”
“Thanks for the medicine. I’ll put it on after I get dressed. I’ve got a lot to do before I go in to work tonight.”
“You’re not going on those feet, Jackie.” Gunner’s deep voice didn’t carry the soothing quality that Hawk’s did.
“I’m going to work. If you ruin this for me, I’ll find another way to get out of this town without the money.”
“Fuck, Jack. Fine. First, let’s tend to your feet then we’ll go get something to eat. You’re bound to be starving.”
She sat up against the headboard and crossed one leg so that she could check out the messy blisters on one foot. They weren’t going to be comfortable to stand on even with the best of shoes. She’d need a soft innersole to cushion them.
Gunner strode across the floor to the bathroom then returned a couple of minutes later with a warm, wet bath cloth. He gently pressed the cloth to the bottoms of her feet until he felt they were clean enough to bandage. She growled at him when he applied some sort of salve that stung a little.
“I thought you were supposed to be making them feel better, not burn me.”
“The salve will heal the blisters faster than just applying an antibiotic salve and slapping a bandage over them.”
“I’m not convinced.”
He chuckled. “That’s because it still hurts a little. They’ll feel better in a few hours. It’s going to take several days to heal them so that they don’t hurt some when you walk on them. Especially if you insist on going back to work.”
“I can handle the pain.” She waited while he applied the bandages. “I need the work. I have to eat and pay the rent on this place, so not working isn’t an option.”
“Once Hawk gets here we’ll go get something to eat then see about some shoes. See if you can stand up now.”
Jackie slid over to the edge of the bed and gently stood on her newly bandaged feet. They burned, but they weren’t quite as tender as before. She pulled her clothes out of her suitcase, thankful to have all her things from the truck now.
“I’m going to get dressed. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” She left Gunner sitting on the bed as she closed the bathroom door behind her.
What in the hell am I going to do with them? I was hoping last night was just some sort of bad dream. Now it looks like I have a pair of bikers intent on being my escorts for the day.
“Wonderful.”
She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and finished her toiletries before pulling on a fresh pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She fooled with her hair then pulled it back in a ponytail to keep it out of her eyes. The sound of a bike pulling up outside the motel told her that her time was up, and she needed to face them. If she were lucky, they would agree to leave her alone. She’d pressure them after she had something to eat. Gunner was right, she was starved.
The motel door opened then closed again before she walked out of the bathroom. Hawk and Gunner stood by the door talking. Hawk looked up and gave her a biker version of a smile most people would call smartass.
“How are you feeling today?” Hawk asked.
“I’m good. Feet feel better, but the house shoes help that.”
“Let’s ride, doll. I’m hungry, so I’m sure you are, as well.”
“Can’t say that I’ve ever ridden on back of a bike with house shoes before.” She stepped out of the room behind Hawk with Gunner closing the door behind them.
Hawk chuckled. “First for me, too. Hold on and keep your shoes on the spikes. Don’t know how the shoes will hold up if you hit one of the pipes, so don’t
do it.”
Jackie had no plans of getting her feet burned on top of the killer blisters. She’d make double sure her feet were where they were supposed to be.
Gunner helped her climb on the back of Hawk’s bike then the two bikes roared out of the parking lot of the motel. Jackie cringed. She sure hoped the old woman was slightly deaf or she was going to lose her temporary home.
The quick trip to the diner took all of sixty seconds. It took longer for her to climb down off the bike and give Hawk his helmet back than it had to get there. She followed Gunner inside with Hawk trailing this time. They seemed intent on keeping her between them, which should have bothered her, but for some reason, it made her feel protected.
The waitress wasn’t the same one she’d met the day before. This one had mid length blonde hair that obviously came out of a bottle since her darker roots needed some cover up. She crossed the room in a slow stride meant to give them time to get seated before she asked for their drink order. Hawk held her chair at the dingy Formica table. Jackie felt awkward as she sat, unused to that type of treatment.
“What can I get ya’ to drink, guys?”
“We want tea,” Gunner said. “What about you, babe?”
“Um, water’s fine.”
“Need menus?” the waitress asked, holding them out.”
“She will. We don’t.” Hawk snagged one of the menus and handed it to her.
“Their food is pretty good here. Nothing like bar’s crap,” Gunner said.
“What are you guys getting?” She was sure they’d know what was best on the menu so she’d probably get whatever they wanted.
“Meatloaf and mashed potatoes.” Hawk pointed it out on the menu she held in her hand.
“Sounds good to me. I’ll get the same thing.”
When the waitress returned with their drinks, Hawk gave her their order. She nodded and walked over to the counter where she called it out to the cook in the back.
“The only real store here in town that might have what you want for your feet is the general store. There are a few specialty shops that have shoes, but mostly they’re fancy heels and not what I assume you’re going to need for standing on your feet at night.” Gunner added a little sugar to his tea and stirred it.
