by Brey Willows
She smiled, deciding not to let them see her. Sometimes it worked even better if the doubts came from nowhere rather than a specific person they could then blame. She waved her hand over them and felt the doubts begin to take hold, like a parasitic vine entering its host. They began to doubt anyone was listening. They began to believe they were going to die. They started weeping, wailing. One of the fathers, enraged by his feeling of hopelessness, jumped up, grabbed a gun off the nearby table, and ran out into the street, firing at anything and everything.
She watched, mildly amused, and kept walking through the war zone toward the ones with the most guns. Again, she dropped the seeds of doubt and discord among them and watched them flourish. They turned on one another, on themselves, on their gods. Hope died with them on the dusty roads.
In minutes, she’d been able to do more than she had by visiting all the small communities. It occurred to her that it wasn’t only those areas where there were few believers gathered together that were weak. Their naturally violent nature left humans open to fear and insecurity. Their refusal to care for the poor and marginalized meant those communities, too, were ripe for her visit. All she had to do was show up, and she’d tear them down en masse.
She passed an enigmatic road sign that said, “What is your endgame?” by some company named after the goddess of victory. She considered the question and decided she didn’t actually have one. She was Chaos. She did what she did because that’s who she was. She didn’t want to rule over the silly humans; that would be as dull as a black hole. Horus wanted humanity brought back into line so the gods could rule over them the way he felt they were supposed to. But Dis didn’t care about that, either. The gods could live on or fade away; it made no difference to her. They were, after all, simply paradoxical manifestations of the human need for solace on an unstable planet. When she’d affected all she could, when humanity had, indeed, been brought to its knees, she’d probably move on. She’d go back to the beautiful vastness of the universe and check in on the other planets, who for the most part were far beyond this planet ruled by evolved apes.
And before she left, she’d take at least one of the fury sisters with her.
Chapter Six
“What in the seven hells is going on?” Zed stared at the map on the office wall.
Kera looked at everyone around the table. “Thoughts?”
Dani tried not to let the despondency she felt show. “I can give you numbers, but I think you’ll find it’s worse than that. Some of the dead still have their souls intact, but when we take them, they’re like moth-eaten cloth. Some of the souls are gone, much like we’ve been seeing in Dis-hit territories.” She looked around. “But worse, there are plenty of humans who survive in these zones.”
“How is that worse?” Tis asked.
“Because they’re different. If one of you went with me and saw into them, I think you’d see it more clearly. I can feel it. It’s like something inside them has been coated with darkness. Even if they continue to have faith, it’s tainted. They’re hurting, full of doubts and insecurity. They’re scared, and it’s making them act out. In a way, that’s worse than death, because although they have a semblance of faith left, they’ll keep doing things that put their souls in mortal danger.”
Zed slammed his hand on the table, making everyone jump. “Are the underworld gods in on this?”
No one answered. Dani noticed that Meg looked preoccupied as she doodled on a notepad in front of her.
“If they’re not, they should be.” Selene looked contemplative, as she always did. “This is going to get them a lot of influx.”
Kera pressed the intercom button. “Get Hades and Azrael up here, now.”
Meg looked up from her doodling. “That’s not a great way to deal with the underworld gods. It could get your rather adorable human ass fried.” She looked at Tis. “No offense.”
Tis grinned and blew her a kiss. “None taken. You’re right.”
“She keeps doing things I tell her will get her killed, but she doesn’t pay attention. It won’t be my fault when she finally pushes someone to turn her into clay.” Zed noisily sucked on a piece of candy and nodded knowingly.
Kera shrugged and pushed the intercom button again. “Tell them I said please.”
While they waited, Dani leaned over to Meg. “Hey. You okay?”
Meg touched Dani’s hand. “Just a lot on my mind. You?”
“Same. I’m looking forward to Selene’s party, if that’s still on?” Dani loved the feel of Meg’s hand over her own.
“For sure. Hopefully, we can set work aside and just have a good time.”
Dani could feel that Meg’s energy was low, and it also seemed tinged with sadness. “You know if you want to talk, I’m always here.”
Meg looked at her for a long moment, as though searching for something. She finally smiled slightly and kissed Dani’s cheek. “Thank you. I might take you up on that.”
The door opened and both Hades and Azrael came in, neither looking happy. When Azrael saw Meg, though, he seemed to brighten. He took the seat next to her and rested his hand on her back, making Dani twinge slightly with jealousy. She knew the furies had worked for Azrael for quite a while, and they had a strong connection, but the familiar touch still bothered her. She forced herself to focus.
Kera quickly explained the situation, and it was clear from their expressions that neither of the top underworld gods had any idea what she was talking about.
Azrael steepled his fingers under his chin and stared at the map. “Yeah, it seems like a good thing for us, on the surface. But the people who come to us aren’t going to arrive because of their intrinsic natures or because they’ve done something truly egregious. They’re going to come to us because they’ve been infected. That’s not the same, and I take issue with punishing people in my domain who don’t really belong there.” He smiled and looked at Meg. “But then, in my new plans, maybe I can accommodate them in a new way.”
Meg nodded, finally looking interested in the conversation. “True. It doesn’t make up for them being there, but it makes it a little less unfair.”
Zed turned to Hades. “And you, brother?”
Hades waved dismissively. “Souls come to me because they believe in us, and they’re dead. Olympus isn’t an option, and I’m going to get them no matter what. Like Az says, it’s where they end up that’s the issue. But these days I’m allowing far more movement for those who don’t belong in punishment realms. They’ll be fine in my areas.” He indicated the Asian areas on the maps. “But the Eastern religions might have some issues in this area. Souls are weighed against feathers in some of theirs, so they may face greater complications.”
“I think you might need to call a meeting.” Tis was taking notes, scribbling and crossing out, adding more. “See if you can come up with a collective idea on how to deal with what’s going on.”
Dani raised her hand to talk. “I’d like to be at that meeting, if I may? I’m facing an interesting issue I’ve never seen before. Souls who believe, like agnostics, but don’t actually follow any particular faith. They only believe because they know for a fact the gods exist, but they don’t want to follow a religion. True atheists simply return to dust, but these souls linger like the ones who believe. I don’t know what to do with them.”
Everyone was quiet as they took that in, and Dani knew they too hadn’t considered the possibility of people believing, but not in a particular faith.
“We’ll let you know as soon as it’s scheduled.” Azrael stood. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go start gathering folks now.” Hades stood, and they both left, already discussing who would do what.
Zed turned back to the others in the room. “What do we do next?”
Kera turned to Tis. “Do you think this is Dis’s work?”
“I don’t see how it could be anything but. The question is why? I mean, she’s Chaos, but surely she must want something out of all this?”
It was Zed�
�s turn to press the intercom. “Can you please ask Clotho if she’d be willing to come to my office for a moment?” He rolled his eyes as he did his best to be politic.
“You’re thinking if there’s something she wants, maybe we can bypass all this shit and just give it to her?” Kera played with a rubber band, twisting it around her fingers.
“Exactly. Maybe we can make it less messy.”
Meg leaned back in her chair. “She said she was here for as long as it took humans to settle into the idea of having the gods around. Don’t we have to wait for that?”
The door opened, and Clotho came in, her expensive suit setting off her regal air. “While that’s true, Megara, she seems to have taken it upon herself to further develop the humans’ innate fight-or-flight responses. The level of confusion that brought her here is no longer enough to interest her. She wants to see how far she can push.”
No one was surprised that Clotho answered a question asked before she’d come into the room. She was a Fate, and nothing was beyond her.
“How do we stop her from being an extra level of psycho?” Kera asked.
“Find a way to help the humans. That’s always the answer, isn’t it?” Clotho smiled enigmatically. “If you can get to them first, bolster their belief not only in their gods but in themselves, perhaps you can slow her down.”
“And if we can’t?”
“Then she runs riot over the world. Humans die by the thousands, and those left standing are the strong. She weeds out the weak and leaves behind those she couldn’t get to. Gods lose believers by the score, and those humans left have either unshakable faith or no faith at all.” She gave Zed a short nod. “Next time, come to my office.” She left, clearly done with answering questions.
“I think that’s the most direct she’s ever been,” Dani said, impressed with the level of forthrightness.
“That’s what worries me,” Zed said. “If she’s willing to answer that clearly, there’s either something we’re missing, or they can’t take a chance on leaving anything too unclear this time.”
“So they know that batshit-crazy asteroid is out of control. Excellent.” Kera shot the rubber band at him, and he batted it away.
Tis pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, everyone. I think we all need some time to process. Let’s think about what we know and come up with a list of questions. At the same time, let’s think of ways we can bolster faith and self-esteem.” She sighed and gave them a weary smile. “It just gets easier, doesn’t it?”
Meg stood and grabbed Dani’s hand. “I need a drink.”
Dani was happy to go anywhere with Meg, whatever she needed. Selene stood and stretched, and Dani noticed how tired she looked. Even the humans who are strong are having trouble keeping up. Would they need to worry about Selene’s and Kera’s states of mind? She focused on the conversation, unable to think of an immediate answer.
“Let’s meet up at my place at seven. Meg, you bring the alcohol. We’ll handle the food.” Selene leaned into Alec, who draped her wing around her protectively.
Meg dragged Dani out the door, and Dani waved at the others over her shoulder. The energy of the room had become oppressive as everyone mulled over their own concerns about the future. It would be good to relax away from the office with people she considered friends.
She followed Meg to the small convenience store on the office campus, where Meg bought enough alcohol to get an entire army drunk and paid to have it brought to her place. She followed Meg to her house, bemused by Meg’s lack of conversation and total focus on her task. When they got inside and closed the door, Meg surprised Dani by falling against her and wrapping her arms around her.
“This day sucked.” Meg’s voice was muffled against Dani’s sweatshirt.
She stroked Meg’s hair, hoping Meg wouldn’t notice that her hand trembled slightly. “Yeah. It seems like a lot of days suck right now.”
Meg looked up at Dani. “I’m really glad you’re here. Thanks for coming with me tonight.”
Dani smiled. “Well, I had to move a lot of things around on my social calendar, but I guess you’re worth it.” Am I flirting? Am I any good at it?
Meg pinched her and smiled, some of the tension leaving her body. “You guess? That means I have to work harder.”
Yes! I must be okay at it. “You do that. Play your cards right, and you can have all my time.”
Meg’s expression faltered slightly, and she pulled away.
And…fail.
“I’m going to hop in the shower before we head to Selene’s. Do you want—” She bit her lip and blushed. “I mean, do you want to hang out while I get ready?”
Do I want what? What were you going to say? Dani desperately wanted to ask but wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “Thanks, but I’ll head home and get changed. I’ll be back here about six thirty, if that’s okay?”
Meg nodded, once again looking distracted. “Perfect. See you soon.” She disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Dani to let herself out.
Dani opened a portal road and decided to walk home. She wanted the air and space to think. Meg was distracted, her energy off. Was she going to ask me to shower with her? Was it reflexive, just something she’d normally do with people? But not something she’d do with me. The thought left her deflated. Still, she was going to get to spend time with all her favorite people, and that was something.
Chapter Seven
Meg stood under the hot water, relishing the feeling of it sliding through her feathers and over her skin. What was I thinking? She’d very nearly asked Dani into the shower with her. Part of the request was habit. She loved showering with people. The way soap made bodies slide together, the hot water steaming up the room and giving the moment a sense of sensuality, made for great passion. But as she stood under the water, alone, she knew she’d made the right decision.
Dani wasn’t a casual play partner, and taking it beyond friendship would surely create tension Meg didn’t want with someone she felt safe with. Sex could complicate things if everyone wasn’t on the same page, and she knew instinctively she and Dani weren’t even reading the same book. Sex with gods was often simple. The nature of their existence meant damn near everything was temporary, so no one tended to put a lot of stock in “forever.” But there were some, like her sisters, who found solace and comfort in coming home to a special person every day.
It wasn’t something Meg had ever wanted for herself. Despite what she’d said to Pan, however, part of her wondered what it might be like. She shook her head and splashed water against the shower wall. Don’t be stupid. You can have that kind of friendship with someone and still have sex with anyone you want. That’s the best of both worlds. She knew that; so why did she feel out of sorts about it?
She finished her shower, feeling edgy and disgruntled. And when she went to choose her outfit, she ended up flinging clothes all over the place in a tantrum. She didn’t want to look seductive and give Dani the wrong impression, especially after she’d nearly slipped up. But she also didn’t want to look like some muted version of herself. Finally, she closed her eyes and stopped to calm down. Who am I? It was a good question, and she decided that today she did feel like a muted version of herself. She grabbed her favorite comfortable jeans and a loose gray tank top with a wing design over the breasts. She added heeled black sandals and looked in the mirror. Still me.
She shook out her hair and noticed how long it had gotten. Over the years she’d had it in every color and length imaginable. For the last several years she’d worn it natural, letting the thick waves set off her natural red. Maybe it’s time for a change. Like her sisters, she didn’t age, and she didn’t need to worry about wrinkles or age spots or middle-age spread, thank the gods. Still, she liked having the ability to change her style at a whim. She’d often felt bad for Tis, whose snakes were part of her hair, meaning it had stayed the same since she was a child. With her own snakes tucked safely away in her feathers, she could go wild with her look whenever she want
ed to.
She opened the door when she heard Dani knock and was struck by how sexy she looked. She didn’t seem to have a spare ounce of fat on her body. Her eyes were like crystal with the mists of time hidden in them. Her shaggy dark hair sometimes fell in front of her eyes, hiding her expression, as it did now. She was a perfect package of androgyny, something that had always appealed to Meg’s desire to have it all. In her black skinny jeans and black T-shirt with red Chinese symbols on it, she looked delicious.
“Hey. I’m not too early, am I?”
Meg gave her clit a mental order to back down. “Nope. All ready to go. What’s that?” She pointed at the foil-covered tray in Dani’s hands.
Dani blushed. “I like to bake. I thought I’d make some brownies.”
“Well, aren’t you the most adorable Death baker in the world.” Meg grabbed her car keys and purse. “Let’s go.”
“Do you want to take your way or mine?”
Meg popped open the trunk to make sure all the alcohol was there before closing it and getting in the driver’s seat. She laughed when she noticed Dani hunch slightly so her head didn’t brush against the roof. “I forget how tall you are sometimes.” She lowered the convertible top, and Dani looked far more comfortable. “Let’s take your way, and you can give me a tour as we go.”
Meg backed out of the driveway, and Dani opened a portal. “I’m not sure what you know and what you don’t.”
Meg thought for a moment, wondering if she should admit to not knowing, or at least not remembering, much about Dani’s world.
“It’s okay, you know…to not remember stuff. I don’t remember everything about what you do or where you come from either.”
Meg glared at her. “Are you in my head? That’s not cool.”
