“Show me truths that I blinded myself to for so long. I want to learn, Lord, and grow. I now see how Mother and Father grew so much after they gave their lives to you in ways I resented because I could not see properly. Now I realize those were difficult times for them. I see that it took courage to change as they did. And even if they made some mistakes along the way, they were doing the best they knew, and their motives were always to do right. Forgive my wrong attitudes during those times and for not respecting their courage.
“I wish Daddy were still here, because now I want to know him as I never allowed myself to before. But though he is now with you, show me what he was trying to teach me. Open my eyes to the truth of his life, even though he is no longer with me. Let me learn from his memory. In the same way the words of his sermon spoke what you knew I needed that day outside Timothy’s church, perhaps other things about his life can help me grow in the same way. Give me new insight into his character and spiritual life, even though it must happen in the quietness of my own heart.
“And let me learn from my dear mother as well. I see what a woman of stature and dignity you have made of her. Daddy is gone, but I still have her, and I am so grateful for that. Thank you for bringing me home and that she has been so gracious and wonderful and loving toward me. Help her to know how much I love her. Help me to live that love toward her every day.
“And thank you, dear Father, for Catharine. What a joy to have a sister who is so fun, so full of life and energy, and such a good friend.”
Amanda rose and walked about the small prayer wood breathing deeply, as if the very air itself contained some special life-giving quality, then sat down again and pulled out a small piece of paper. It was Catharine’s Christmas gift to Jocelyn, which she had copied out again in her own hand at Amanda’s request.
Before she had finished reading it again, as she had many times during the past few months, Amanda’s eyes were full of tears.
“I want to be your woman too, Lord,” she whispered. “It seems I am so far behind both my mother and even my younger sister. But I will be patient for you to do your work. Let me do what Catharine’s little story says, and follow the example you have given me.”
Again Amanda rose and now made her way slowly back through the passageway through the trees by which she had come.
“Give me strength to look forward,” she prayed as she went. “I ask you to somehow make good come of my past, though it is difficult for my eyes to look at myself and see anything but failure. I feel small for what I was and responsible for so much grief that has come to so many. Help me see which guilts I must accountably bear, and which I need to leave in your hands and not take up again. I know you can turn all things for good, so use my past for good . . . somehow . . . though at present I do not see how that is possible.
“And use me, Father,” she added, “in the lives of others. If someday I might help turn one other person away from self-centeredness, so that he or she is prevented from bringing pain into their families, as well as into their own hearts, I cannot say that would make it all worth it, but I would at least feel that maybe my life had counted for something.
“Turn my mistakes to good, Lord, and accomplish your will and purpose in my life.”
121
Overdue Letter
That evening found Amanda in an even quieter and more reflective frame of mind than usual. The mood of the prayer wood had remained with her throughout the rest of the day.
“Is everything all right, my dear?” said Jocelyn as the three sat together after evening tea.
“Yes, Mother,” Amanda replied with a smile. “I am just feeling quiet, you know. I think I’ll go upstairs and read. There’s a book I want to finish. Then maybe I’ll finally start my letter to the sisters in Wengen.”
She rose and hugged Jocelyn. “Thank you, Mother.”
“For what?” said Jocelyn, smiling up at her.
“For being you . . . for being my mother, for your patience and forgiveness. I love you.”
“Thank you, dear. I love you too.”
“I know, Mother,” nodded Amanda. “I really do know it now.”
Amanda walked over to where Catharine sat quietly writing a letter. Catharine glanced up, and Amanda bent down and embraced her.
“I love you, Catharine,” she said. “I thank God so much for you. You’re the best friend a sister could possibly have.”
“Thank you, Amanda,” smiled Catharine. “That is so sweet of you to say. You are a good friend too.”
Amanda turned and walked up to her room.
The night had grown late, and both sister and mother were already in bed when Amanda sat down two hours later at her writing table. She took out a sizable stack of writing paper from its drawer, then set her pen to the top sheet, and began.
Dear Sisters Hope, Gretchen, Marjolaine, Regina, Luane, Agatha, Galiana, Clariss, Anika, and Kasmira, whom I hardly had the chance to know, if you are still at the chalet—
Greetings to you all from England.
This letter is long overdue. I have started it in my mind at least two dozen times, and on paper probably half that many. But somehow the time has never seemed right, and I have not been able to continue and say everything I need and want to.
But I think now that time has finally come. I am sorry it has taken me so long. Here I am at last, and I am determined to see it through this time, although it will probably be a very long letter. Someday, I hope in the not-too-distant future, I can visit you face-to-face and thank each of you for the very individual ways you were all used in helping me arrive where I am today in my personal journey. God used each one of you uniquely, though I could not see it as clearly then as I do now. Someday I will thank you and hug you each personally for loving me and opening yourselves to me as you did. Believe it or not, my mother and sister and I have actually talked about making a trip to Switzerland whenever circumstances with the war permit. Until that time, however, I must content myself with the written mode of communication, although I doubt I shall be able to convey only a hundredth of what is in my heart.
There is so much to tell, and the story I have to share begins several years ago, with a visit a certain little girl made with her family to a city called London.
Just a few minutes ago I finished reading a book. Perhaps you have heard of it. The title is Robinson Crusoe. As soon as I read the final page I knew the time had come for me to tell you this girl’s story. She did not find herself marooned on a distant desert island, but was shipwrecked much closer to the land of her birth. Fortunately, it did not take her quite thirty-five years, as it did Crusoe, to find her own way back. I am pleased to be able to report to you that she is at last home, in her heart, I mean, though getting there was not without pain and loss.
The girl’s name is Amanda. . . .
About the Author
Michael Phillips is a bestselling author with more than seventy of his own titles. In addition, he has served as editor/redactor of nearly thirty more books. He is known as the man responsible for the reawakened interest in George MacDonald of the last thirty years. In addition to the MacDonald titles adapted/edited for today’s reader, his publishing efforts in bringing back full-length quality facsimile editions also spawned renewed interest in MacDonald’s original work. Michael and his wife, Judy, spend time each year in Scotland, but make their home near Sacramento, California. Visit Michael’s website at www.macdonaldphillips.com.
Fiction by Michael Phillips
www.macdonaldphillips.com
THE RUSSIANS*
The Crown and the Crucible • A House Divided • Travail and Triumph
THE STONEWYCKE TRILOGY*
The Heather Hills of Stonewycke • Flight from Stonewycke • Lady of Stonewycke
THE STONEWYCKE LEGACY*
Stranger at Stonewycke • Shadows Over Stonewycke • Treasure of Stonewycke
THE SECRETS OF HEATHERSLEIGH HALL
Wild Grows the Heather in Devon • Wayward Winds
Heathersleigh Homecoming • A New Dawn Over Devon
SHENANDOAH SISTERS
Angels Watching Over Me • A Day to Pick Your Own Cotton
The Color of Your Skin Ain’t the Color of Your Heart • Together Is All We Need
CAROLINA COUSINS
A Perilous Proposal • The Soldier’s Lady
Never Too Late • Miss Katie’s Rosewood
CALEDONIA
Legend of the Celtic Stone • An Ancient Strife
THE HIGHLAND COLLECTION*
Jamie MacLeod: Highland Lass • Robbie Taggart: Highland Sailor
THE JOURNALS OF CORRIE BELLE HOLLISTER
My Father’s World* • Daughter of Grace* • On the Trail of the Truth*
A Place in the Sun* • Sea to Shining Sea • Into the Long Dark Night
Land of the Brave and the Free • A Home for the Heart
*with Judith Pella
Heathersleigh Homecoming Page 47
