Mason made his way over to us, taking a break from the shoveling to stand next to me with a frown. “October, you’re drawing quite a few eyes, positioned like that.”
“Huh? Do you have a light or something? And where’s Von? He doing alright?”
“He hasn’t surfaced from his endless supper. Though I do admire that he mainly stuck to feasting on the soldiers.” He mopped the sweat from his brow with a forfeited shirt from one of the dead. “Aren’t you finished yet?”
“Sheesh, Mason. This isn’t exactly easy to do when I can’t see much. I’m almost done.”
The guy I was treating looked at me with an embarrassed smile. “You’re really not from here, are you.”
“Nope. And I hope to leave before anything else like that goes down. I’m not all that used to war.”
“Take your time,” he told me, looking around and waving at a few guy friends who made lewd noises to my left.
Mason sounded exasperated. “You’re making him the king of all the men who’ve got their eyes on you.”
“What are you talking about?” It wasn’t until that moment I realized I had my head too far down between the guy’s legs, making me look like a service girl, and not a battlefield nurse. I picked my head up and did my best to trust my fingers in the dark as I finished the suture as quick as I could.
Mason pulled me up and thumbed my lower lip, giving it a kiss that made me feel like I was being dowsed with cold water. In the dark I started to see bursts of yellow and that familiar red I couldn’t blink away whenever he kissed me. “Come back to me,” he murmured. My stomach twisted when I realized he was already picturing his wife. It was almost like he loved me, but nothing like it at all. He was lost in the kiss and murmured, “So beautiful.”
I pulled out of the euphoria that crashed from such a steep height, leaving me a wreck in the aftermath. “That’s enough. People are looking, Mason.”
“So?”
“So, know me a little bit. I’m not big into public displays. It’s like you’re peeing all over me to mark your territory or something.”
Mason cleared his throat. “A thousand apologies,” he offered, though not without a hint of a bite to his words.
I sucked in a deep breath and tried to be kind. “Kara, she’s… she’s doing alright? In the vision? She’s happy with you?”
Mason looked deep into my eyes with an unfathomable expression. “She is. I was a good husband.”
I nodded, trying to be an adult. “Then every now and then, as often as I can muscle through it, we can kiss so you can see her. I’m thinking once a day is a fair amount. I can do that for you.” My eyes sharpened. “But not in public, and no more than once a day.”
Mason’s mouth fell open. “You have no idea what that means to me.”
I cleared my throat to change the subject. “That’s all I can do for these people. I can’t reset a broken arm that has multiple breaks, which is what Felix has over there. I reset as much as I could, but I’d need an actual x-ray to make sure it’s all perfectly aligned, which I’m guessing we don’t have down here. And Lona needs to stay awake until the possibility of a concussion’s been ruled out. Other than that, it’s all I can do. I hate that I’m not being more helpful.” Two bleeders had died while I’d been frantically stitching people up towards the beginning. That one sat heavy on me and would for a while, I just knew it. I’m not sure I could’ve saved them, but to not be able to try was a bitter pill I deserved to choke on.
Mason slowly came back to himself. “It’s good, hani. You did a good job.”
His arm on my back was supposed to offer comfort, but it felt wrong there now. I moved away a few steps. “We should go, then. I don’t like the idea of sleeping here. Let’s keep going in the dark toward the well.”
Mason held onto my arm to stop my progression. “The nails,” he reminded me. “Wait here for me to finish filling in the grave with the men, then I’ll carry you out.”
I didn’t like that option, but knew if I got even a paper cut, it would make things hard for Von. I sat down and whistled for my dragon puppies, who came bounding up to me eagerly after collecting more hearts from the soldiers they’d helped kill on my command. They nudged closer, trying to edge the others out so they could show me the trophies they were so proud of. Edward laid the top half of his body in my lap, licking my face as I came down from Mason’s kiss. He’d jerked me around too much for me to remain stable. I stroked my baby’s scales, tsking when I saw a wet gouge that looked fresh from the battle. “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I can’t even fix it for you, either. Your scales are too thick for my needle. What can I do to help? Tell me, Edward.”
The civilians were watching me with mouths agape, but I didn’t care. They were shocked the sigbins had fought on their side. They’d been unable to explain the unnatural shift until they saw Edward and me together. I don’t know why animals were so much easier to talk to than people, but I was grateful for the release of tension Edward brought me with his unconditional acceptance of all the things I was not, and might never be. My hands were coated in blood, so Edward did me a solid and started licking the crimson off to calm me down.
Edward was good like that.
Von came over with Mason, blood all down his front and covering his contented face. He looked too pleasantly gorged to be ashamed of himself this time. “You ready, Peach?”
“Yup. Are you full?”
“Quite, yes. Do I have something on my face?” He dabbed comically at the corner of his mouth, though his lips, nose, chin and chest were utterly dripping with the red goo.
“You did, but you got it. You’re ready for the prom now.”
Mason gave the sigbins a wide berth and hoisted me up. He made to carry me like a princess, but I opted for being worn like a backpack to avoid any chance he might kiss me again. Mason smelled like pine, patchouli and sweaty man. It was a deeply masculine allure he had on me, and I tried with every step he took to cross him off my list of men I was attracted to.
Edward followed us even after I sent the other puppies home, leading the way with his forked tail guiding us through the dark that engulfed us all too quickly.
33
Swimming and Drowning
The night in Sakuna was a black blanket that swept over our trio. We reached the base of the mountain where we were supposed to meet Ezra and Lang. “I don’t see them,” Von ruled. “And it’s at least another day’s journey to the castle from here. I vote we get a few hours of shuteye in the woods over there.” He pointed to a forest between our mountain and the one on the other side. “The trees can cover us in case King Geon sends any more of his men to find her.”
Mason looked like he wanted to argue, but finally consented when he spotted a smattering of trees thick enough to provide us with a little shelter. “Alright. Let’s grab a quick nap. So long as we’re up and moving by first light, that should be fine.” Mason stretched while I started clearing the space he led us to. We were deep inside the thicket of trees, and I knew that when we laid down, we wouldn’t be able to be seen by passersby on the road, which was now several stones’ throws away.
There were leaves, pebbles and various types of bramble I didn’t feel like sleeping on. I took my time clearing it all away for us while the guys eyed my meticulous care with curiosity. I needed the dirt swept in a certain even design, which was hard to get perfect. I knew I was starting to give in to my obsessive tendencies, and dreaded the person I would devolve into by morning.
When the three of us finally laid down, I was sandwiched in the middle, both of them seeking comfort from the traumatic events of the day. Mason spooned me while Von slid his hand between mine to assure us both I wouldn’t scratch open my scabs in my sleep. Edward wriggled up in between Von and me, snuggling his head through my elbows and resting his jaw to my breasts. I was endeared to my puppy even more when he looped his forked tail over Von to pull him closer.
Von marveled at the docile beast who loved us, mouthing, �
�Wicked!” He moved in so Edward’s slim body was the only space between us. Von’s lips were just inches from mine when he closed his eyes after delivering a sweet kiss to the tip of my nose. “Goodnight, darling.”
“Von?” I whispered, my anxiety getting the best of me.
“Yes, love?”
“You know how you don’t like people to see you as a monster when you vamp out? How that person isn’t the real you?”
Von’s eyes focused on mine as he nodded.
“I’m a day off my meds. When I wake up, I might not be able to be myself. I…” I pursed my lips together, hating the words that tumbled out next. “Please don’t leave me when I lose myself.”
Von’s gaze hardened in a vow of solidarity I desperately needed. “Never.” He held tight to my hand as he kissed my lips once more, just to assure me that he wasn’t afraid of the monster that was always lurking inside of me, shunning people and smiling at hand sanitizer. “Goodnight, Mrs. Brady.”
I smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “Goodnight, Mr. Brady.”
I dreamt I was swimming in a perfectly sterilized pool. The water was a tropical crystal clear with a hint of blue to it. I wore my gold bikini I’d never had the guts to put on in public before. I was alone in the water, my arms cutting the surface as I swam along at my own pace, enjoying the sun overhead for what it was. I didn’t know how to swim in real life, but in my dreams, I was a rocket. Or, you know, something that knows how to swim crazy fast.
I looked up and saw a familiar face that had visited my dreams before. My smile greeted him, but he didn’t seem to have one for me. “Hi, Philip.”
“Where are you?”
I glanced around to the palm trees and orange trees that dotted the yard I was swimming in. “I dunno. Florida? Come on in.”
Philip was wearing leather armor over black clothes, much like the soldiers of Sakuna. Only his skin was lighter and his hair still that shocking Billy Idol white-blond. “I’m not going swimming. I have things to do. Where are you really?”
“In real life? I’m not sure. I don’t think we’re lost, but the guys wouldn’t tell me if we were.”
“How many guys are you with?”
“The usual amount.” I quirked my eyebrow at him. “No offense, but I don’t conjure you up in my dreams to chat me up about real life. I come here to escape all that. So either escape it with me or go away. The madness starts all over again once I’m awake.”
Philip gave me a hard look, the muscles in his cleft chin flexing as if he wanted to be a jerk, but knew he shouldn’t. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll stay.”
“I do. I want.” I waded to the edge of the pool, blinking up at him through wet lashes. He was pretty, that’s for sure. I didn’t like him so frustrated, though. He was much better when he was seducing me.
Without warning, I grew tired in the water. I wasn’t sure why, but I couldn’t catch my breath. My limbs felt weighted and my brain foggy. “October?” Philip called, wary.
“Can’t breathe!” I wasn’t underwater, but it felt like I was.
“Where are you?” He was looking straight at me, his eyes wide as he swore. “Are you in Terraway?”
“Yes! I’m… I can’t…” I pressed the flat of my hand to my chest, confused and scared.
“Baga root! When was the last time you had any baga root?”
“Yesterday morning! No! Has it been twenty-four hours already?”
When I met his panicked gaze with one of my own, he cried out, “It’s been more than a day you’ve been here? The baga root might be out of your system?”
I nodded, confused and still short of breath.
“No! This wasn’t the plan.” He knelt at the edge of the pool and hiked me up over the edge, laying me down on the concrete. I gasped, fighting with the thinning air for a decent breath. I was reaching full-on panic mode, but Philip leaned over me and pressed his mouth to mine, pinching my nose and blowing in air to inflate my lungs.
It bought me a few seconds of life, but then something happened I couldn’t explain. The concrete beneath us began to crumble, plummeting us both down into the water below.
My arms began to flail as I felt myself drowning. Down, down, down I sank into the depth, watching the sun through the haze of crystal blue that had seconds ago felt refreshing. I knew in that moment that I would soon die.
I decided I was okay with that.
34
Hammer, not Daughter
I awoke to chest compressions and old spongy gum in my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but a large hand shoved it back in and closed my mouth so I had to swallow. My hands and feet were vacillating between tingly and numb, and were too heavy to lift to bat away the pressure that was still being pumped into my chest in a rhythm.
I opened my eyes to see Ezra’s mouth coming at me, pressing on my unresponsive lips and blowing air into my body. I was so confused in that moment, I didn’t know how to pull away or do anything that would end the strange mutation of my dream. Ezra, not Philip. Terraway, not the Florida pool.
I blinked and began to draw breath on my own. In and out, the sweet relief dragged through my lungs. It was fresh air that smelled like dirt and non-pollution. Ezra was shouting, overcome with elation as he slid his arm under my back to lift me up to sit. I couldn’t support my weight though, so I sagged against him. Ezra’s dirty fingers ran through my hair as he pressed my temple to his breast. His chest shook with emotional release as the world slowly started to filter into its right order again.
The fiery suns were rising through the trees, adding too much heat to the morning. I felt another hand on my back and looked over to find, of all people, Prince Langgam. He was scared, moving his hand with care down my spine. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We’ve been looking for you all night. I didn’t dream we’d be parted for so long.”
“Huh?” I tried to lift my arm, but it was too heavy. Everything about me felt weighted and clumsy, so I closed my eyes and hoped when I opened them again, I would be back in my bed – or at the very least, making out with Philip. Ezra’s chest was solid, so I leaned into him, relaxing in the paternal shelter I’d been surviving for so long without. I knew he wasn’t really my dad and probably never would be, but he was warm and held me with something I let myself pretend was the purest kind of love. In my fantasy, I’d skinned my knee riding my brand new shiny bike (not the rusty one Ollie had found me from the neighbor’s trash, and Terence had fixed up). My dad would come running toward me and scoop me up off the ground, not annoyed at all if I cried. There would be no need to suck it up. He was stronger than all the things that broke me.
I felt hot tears slide down my cheeks, followed by a semi-moist handkerchief wiping the dots of emotion away to salvage what was left of my pride. I was desperate for the shelter I knew I would be pushing away when my eyes opened again.
So I kept my eyes shut tight, leaning on the father I never had. When a little feeling came back into my hands, I clung to Ezra, surprising both of us. I felt his arm slide under my knees, then he rocked back to sit on his butt. He pulled me onto his lap, swaying my body gently to soothe us both. I’d not been held much as a child, and the difference good touch made was indescribable. I was curled up in a grown man’s lap like a baby, crying out years of pent-up loneliness coupled with the fear of waking up to suffocation. The sting of my own father never once coming to look for me to see if my knee was skinned poured out onto Ezra’s once white undershirt. The quiet song he hummed only to me sliced through the barrier of distance I usually regarded men with. I was broken, and he was gentle with the pieces. It was a surprisingly good fit.
I clung to Ezra, wishing he wouldn’t disappear from my life with his superhero dad kind of amazingness, but I knew he and Bev would never last. I ignored my instinct to pull away and bunched my fist into his shirt, hoping my sheer force of will would hold him to this very spot until I pulled myself together and stopped needing a dad. The longing ripped at my heart, so my natural inclination w
as to rip at the skin on the backs of my hands.
Ezra caught up my left hand in his, holding with a firm strength that told me I didn’t have to handle things by myself. That surviving didn’t have to hurt. That my dad would be there, and I could trust him not to leave. He pressed his cheek to my forehead as he rocked me for who knows how long.
I’d been declared an adult by a judge at the age of fifteen, but now at twenty-two, I was finally a child. I hadn’t been a child in so very long.
“I’m here, October Grace. I’m here,” Ezra whispered, tears dotting his eyes and falling into my hair. “Get that thing out of here, Von. I don’t care how much you love it.”
“What am I doing?” I asked, not able to mask how very lost I was. I mean, I’d barely woken up and meandered onto a grown man’s lap. To say that I was lost was pretty apparent.
“You’re breathing. That’s all you need to do now. We’ve been searching all night for you three. We had the baga root, and knew you wouldn’t last the morning. But we found you.” Ezra squeezed me, closing his eyes like a prayer. “The kingdom’s safe. The kingdom’s safe.”
It was like being doused with cold water. Ezra wasn’t my dad. He cared about me in the way you care about your hammer. I was a tool to be put to work until my usefulness expired. Ezra loved his kingdom. He’d rushed all night to save my life because I was his hammer. Hammer, not daughter.
I extracted myself from his embrace, only just now realizing I had an audience. There were a few new faces who’d just seen me fall apart like the child I knew I couldn’t afford to be. I gave Ezra back his handkerchief and offered him my hand to hoist him up, looking anywhere but into his aqua eyes that made me want to forget I was his hammer. “Hey, so there’s new people. Hi.” I held up my hand like it was the first day of school. “October.”
Tremble (Terraway Book 2) Page 20
