She took the proffered chair and he poured them both coffee. Then he lifted the dome lids on the room service cart, revealing muffins, bagels, corned beef, scrambled eggs, and a bowl of fresh fruit. Robin chose a bagel and some strawberries and couldn’t help noticing that Tony took nothing for himself.
“You’re not hungry?” She asked as she spread cream cheese on her whole wheat bagel.
“I’ve been up for several hours and have already eaten.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Enjoy. I’ll just have coffee.”
Robin tried to engage him in general idle talk while she ate, but he was mostly unresponsive, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. Finally, she brushed the crumbs off of her fingertips and picked up her coffee cup. “So, what’s up? Why the impromptu meeting?”
Tony always seemed so sure of himself. In the time that she’d known him, he never missed a beat. He always appeared to know what to say, how to say it, what to do and how to do it. She watched as he lifted his cup and set it down, as he rubbed a finger across his eye as if to ward off a headache, how he drummed his fingers on the table and realized he didn’t know what to say or how to say it. She began to feel the beginnings of some pretty serious nerves dance along the back of her spine.
She cleared her throat. “I’ve always preferred a direct approach myself.”
His eyes flashed surprised before he half grinned. “I appreciate you, Robin.” As his fingers toyed with the knot on his tie, the diamond on his pinkie winked in the light. “I missed you yesterday. A lot.” She opened her mouth to agree with him, but he held a finger up. “My worship is a huge part of my life. It encourages me, inspires me, rejuvenates me, and feeds my spirit. I cannot imagine getting through the kind of weeks I have without devoting an entire day to God and discovering the accompanying peace and solace I find in Him. But I also find myself distracted by missing you. Frankly, it’s getting to be a problem for me, and it’s interfering with my worship.”
“Tony, that’s something I’ve been wanting to talk with you about as well.”
Thrown off of his prepared speech, he cocked his head. “Oh?”
She smiled. “There’s this strange appeal to the thought of experiencing your church with you. I don’t know why, but I do want to go. I’d already decided that on Wednesday when you ask me to go, I would say yes.”
Tony closed his eyes, relief flooding from his heart through his soul and whispered a thank you to God, “La ringrazio, Dio.” He opened them again, and reached for her hand, cupping it with both of his. “I am so very happy to hear that.” He smiled, and the smile warmed his eyes, giving her heart a little extra beat to it. “I planned on giving you an ultimatum.”
Robin’s eyes widened. “Wow. Good timing on my part.”
Tony brought her hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “I don’t know if I was going to be able to go through with it, but yes, cara. Excellent timing. Thank you so much for preempting what might have been a bad move on my part.”
This time, Robin sat forward and used her other hand to cup one of his. “I am a straight forward kind of girl, Tony. I don’t pick up on a lot of hints or subtleties, and I’ll drive myself crazy wondering what you mean or what you feel if you don’t come out and tell me.”
Tony wondered if she realized how much she had changed over the last few months. She had completely blossomed with confidence and strength that he was certain she doubted ever even existed in her. “So you’re saying just be blunt and straightforward?” Oh the things he wished he could tell her. How much he loved her, how much he desired for her to be his wife, how he longed for her soul to be saved, for her to give her life to Christ. Despite what she said, though, he knew she wasn’t ready to hear it.
“Yes. Please just tell me what’s up. I work much better that way.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. How much longer must he contain this amazing joy he had in the love he felt for her? “Cara, there is a time for everything under heaven. I hope to tell you everything in time. And I assure you I will try to be blunt and straightforward when the time comes.”
CHAPTER 13
OBIN watched the clock all day. She was a little nervous about going to church that night with Tony. What did one do at church? How weird were the people going to be? She hoped she didn’t embarrass herself, or worse yet, embarrass Tony.
These thoughts plagued her off and on all day, so she went to work to try to take her mind off of it. It didn’t help. The unknown kept distracting her from her job. She tried to work accounting, but couldn’t focus. She tried to get with Casey about orders, but he was in a rare form and couldn’t be bothered. So, she decided to just walk through the front of the house, check on customers, check on the hostess and the wait staff.
When she met Peter and Caroline, Robin thought that their loving acceptance of her fell well outside of the norm, an exception to every rule of life and living she had ever learned. Never before had anyone treated her so kindly, so naturally, without any expectations. When she walked into the doorway of the main church building of Boston Central Christian Church on that Wednesday night, though, she felt like she’d walked into the open arms of long lost family.
They came together and sang songs. A guitarist and someone playing a tambourine provided the only accompaniment, and the lyrics appeared on a big screen behind them. Robin enjoyed the songs, enjoyed the emotion and the passion behind them. She enjoyed hearing Tony’s voice as he sang next to her. She found herself clapping along or smiling or doing both at the same time.
After songs and prayer, they broke away into smaller groups. Robin found herself in a classroom sitting on a folding metal chair, a Styrofoam cup of coffee in one hand a work sheet in the other, and the Bible Tony had given to her as a gift after they pulled into the church parking lot that evening sitting on her lap crisp and new. While holding the work sheet, she laid her hand on top of the Bible so that the back of her hand lay against the dark blue leather, enjoying the cool feel of it against her skin and instinctively knowing that this gift meant more to Tony than the dark blue sapphire necklace ever could.
As Tony took the seat next to her, he spoke softly to her, “There are several classes we could attend. This one is studying the book of Daniel. The teacher used to be a rabbi before he came to know Christ, and his Old Testament insight is amazing.”
None of that meant anything to Robin. She didn’t know what the book of Daniel was. She didn’t know what the phrase “came to know Christ” meant, though she thought perhaps it had something to do with the conversation Tony had with her about getting off of the street, and she had absolutely no idea what Old Testament meant. The teacher started speaking, though, so she didn’t ask for clarification.
Everyone in the class showed genuine pleasure at meeting Robin. She felt so loved and accepted that she hoped the class would never end. The teaching mostly went over her head, because she had zero background in anything to do with the Bible or church and with the way the discussions moved, she assumed this was an advanced class. She didn’t mind, and was almost sorry when it ended.
People bombarded Tony as they left the class and made their way out of the church. She quit counting how many people asked to meet with him for this or that, how many wanted this lunch appointment or that coffee date. So many came to just meet her with kindness in their eyes and a hug or a warm handshake to hand out.
After church services she found herself back down that row of little houses with the picket fences and inside a different house – this time, the home of the former rabbi, Abram Rabinovich. He was probably about fifty, several inches shorter than her, with almost no hair. His wife was stunning, tall and thin with a beautiful face and strong Eastern European features.
“Sofia’s family came from the Ukraine in the early seventies,” Abram said as Sofia set a coffee tray on the low table in front of them then perched on the arm of his chair. “We met as children at synagogue so long ago that to find the exact date you might have to cut us
in half and count the rings to be sure.”
Sofia smiled as she draped her arm across her husband’s shoulders and spoke with a slight accent. “We were married when we were seventeen. Twenty-nine beautiful years.”
He laid a hand on her knee. “Not all of them so beautiful.” He looked at Robin and Tony. “When Sofia came to know Christ, I’m afraid I didn’t take it so well.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Sofia said. “You had worked for fifteen years to get to where you were and were being offered that job at Brandeis University.” She winked at Robin. “But you came around.”
“Kicking and screaming,” Abram said with a smile.
Robin shook her head. “I don’t understand. If you were a rabbi, didn’t you already ‘know the Lord’?” She purposefully made air quotes so that he would know the clarification she sought.
Abram sat forward slightly and made a tent with his fingers. “I did not know Christ Jesus, God’s only Son, to be my personal Lord and Savior. I studied God, but had no relationship with Christ.”
“What’s the difference?”
Abram pulled a pair of reading glasses out of his shirt pocket and held out his hand. “May I see your Bible?” As Robin handed it to him, he thanked her and flipped through a few pages. “This is a great version, and it has a comprehensive study guide. You are a smart girl. I can see that in your eyes. My suggestion to you is to read this book. When you read it, you’ll understand the difference. He handed it back to her still open. She saw the words “The Gospel of Mark” in bold print across the top of the page.
“Start near the end?”
Sofia chuckled warmly. “No, darling. The Bible is not one book. It’s like a library of books that are sorted by type. You have the law, which is in the front. You have prophets, poems, wisdom, eyewitnesses to Christ Jesus, letters, what our future will bring. You can read any book in any order you want. Start with Mark, it’s a quick read and he talks all about what Jesus did. Then go to John. He was with Jesus, and saw the same things Mark spoke of, but used more words to describe them and focused a lot more on what Jesus said.”
Robin nodded and thanked them. She looked over at Tony who sat next to her on the couch. “I imagine you’ve read this,” she said with a smile.
He grinned and moved his hand from her shoulder to cup the back of her neck and squeeze. “A few times and in a couple different languages.”
Sofia set her coffee cup on the table and stood. “Anyone interested in some cake? I don’t cook, but I shop at wonderful bakeries.”
They enjoyed the time at the Rabinovich’s. Robin enjoyed watching them together. The love they had for each other shone through every gesture, every word, every touch. She liked watching their interactions and found herself scooting closer to Tony on the couch, and ended up cradled in his arm, holding his hand that draped over her shoulder, her arm resting against his leg. It felt comfortable and right to sit like this with him.
She wanted to freeze time and stay in that room in that little house for hours and hours more, but the clock ticked on and they had to leave. As Tony took her to her door that night, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him to her, inhaling the smell of his cologne, enjoying the feel of the heat of his skin through his shirt. She didn’t know how long they stood there, but when she finally broke the hug and stepped back slightly, he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her so sweetly, so gently that emotion flooded her system and clogged her throat. She had to blink tears away.
When he broke the kiss, she laid her head on his shoulder and stood there in the comfort of his arms. “Thank you for my Bible,” she finally said, her lips nearly grazing the skin of his neck as she spoke.
“I’m glad you liked it. Did you enjoy church?” He asked.
“I did. I’m so glad I went.” She sighed knowing that the night had to end. Straightening, she pulled her door key out of her purse. “I hope you’ll be back from wherever in time to go again Sunday.”
“If I was on the moon this week, I’d be back to take you to church on Sunday,” he said. He pulled her close again and gave her one more long, lingering kiss.
Her arms slipped up around his neck and she kissed him back, feeling a flood of different emotions this time, less tender and sweet and more wanting, perhaps needing something – needing more. When he raised his head, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “As it is,” he said, his voice rough and low, “I’ll be in town for the rest of the week. I’m really, really looking forward to church with you on Sunday.”
“I am, too,” she said. “Come inside.”
She felt him tense as the words sank in, felt the muscles knot beneath her fingertips. She liked the feel of his strength. His voice sounded like a low growl as he asked, “Are your sisters home?”
She kissed his neck and felt his heat beneath her lips. Against his skin she answered, “No.”
He felt tight like a bowstring, tight like a fist, tight like a clenched jaw. She felt his pulse race in his neck and heard him take in a massive breath before he said, “Then, let me just say no to your kind request. But understand that I genuinely appreciate the invitation. I hope you extend it again when the time is right.”
“My sisters need to be home for you to come inside?”
“For now, yes.” The way he said it was as if he were reminding himself.
“Is this a God thing?”
“It’s about respecting you and respecting myself, cara. Respecting you as much as myself, actually. Kind of a golden rule thing.”
It had never occurred to her that he respected her. What had she done to deserve his respect? He had slain dragons. She had simply scratched out a living for herself and her sisters. The mystery of being respected by this man would probably keep her puzzling for weeks.
Then he kissed her and her thoughts vanished. She had no idea how much time passed as they stood there in each other’s arms, but eventually she found herself back in her apartment, alone, leaning against the door as she listened to the faint sound of his footsteps walking away. She could not hear the reluctance in his step, and had no idea of the real battle he waged with his flesh to make himself continue to put one foot in front of the other. She ran her fingertips lightly over her lips, feeling them tingle at the memory of his kiss.
Her work week went quickly. Sunday morning arrived and Robin woke up excited, anxious to see Tony and anxious for church. As she dressed in a baby blue cashmere sweater and a tan suede skirt with knee high boots, an outfit on loan to her from Maxine, she thought about the conversation with Abram and his talk about how knowing about God and a relationship with Jesus were two different things. She pondered the love and generosity that seemed to be the standard and which poured from all of the people she had met at the church, all of Tony’s friends and employees with whom she had interacted.
As she brushed her hair, she stared at her own reflection and pondered. If something tangible, something attainable, was responsible for the happiness and contentment she found in the people in Tony’s realm; responsible for the way they appeared to rise above the selfishness of human nature that Robin had always known to be the rule rather than the exception; then maybe she wanted to attain that tangible thing in her life, too. She wondered, though, how one went about acquiring this thing.
It seemed like it all centered around a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Her entire experience with personal relationships existed in Maxine, Sarah, and now Tony. She had casual interactions with people at work, but casual was the key word. She had never scoured the personals and never joined a dating service and she never missed dating because you don’t miss what you don’t have. She spent too many years working too hard and too long to leave room for anyone else in her life, so she didn’t go to happy hours or parties or movies or anything with co-workers that might end in uncomfortable entanglements. It worked out when she became manager, because no friendships got in the way of her doing her job, but it also meant that she had ver
y little skill in acquiring a personal relationship with anyone, deity or not.
Tony’s arrival at her door broke through her thoughts and she quickly put her brush away and moved through the apartment. She opened the door and grinned, so happy to see him and to get to spend the day with him that she just wanted to laugh with joy.
Tony always had to prepare himself to see Robin, to steel himself as he waited for her to open the door. Her physical beauty had a lot to do with it – her face and her eyes simply took his breath away. He loved the shape of her body, he loved her height and how the few times she’d worn heels she stood at least an inch taller than him which forced him to look up into her eyes. And, oh, how he loved the way she moved. But more than any of that, he simply longed for her, for so much from her, that he had to shore himself up when he saw her lest he cave in to those longings.
He longed to touch her and hold her and kiss her. He longed to tell her how deeply he felt for her, how much he loved her and desired to be with her for eternity. He longed to see her commit to Christ and to love the Lord their God with all of her heart and all of her soul. He longed for so much from her that, occasionally, he was happy that they couldn’t see each other every single day or he feared he would eventually just give into the pressures of his flesh and of his heart.
When Robin opened the door, he almost had to take a step back. She grabbed her coat and her purse and stepped out of her apartment. The light blue sweater she wore made her eyes positively glow; the blue in them so vivid he thought he might drown in those sapphire pools. More than that, though, some thing about her had changed. She radiated some sort of positive energy that he could not quite define but that tugged at him. She had a smile on her face that lit up the dim hallway, and a laugh in her voice that struck musical tones.
Giving in, just for a moment, just for a small moment, he put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her to him. His lips drank in the last of a laugh, and he felt it sparkle through his veins like a bubbly wine, leaving him drunk on her and wanting yet more. Rather than surrender all control and find himself just pushing her against the wall and ravishing her, he pulled back and away, putting his hands on her shoulders and physically taking a step back. He smiled at her, at the glow of joy on her face and the skirting of desire in her eyes. “You look beautiful, cara. Bello. I like the sweater.”
Sapphire Ice: Book 1 in the Jewel Series Page 14
