Grateful for his assistance, I came unsteadily to my feet. My knees were still a bit weak. While I made sure my legs would hold me, he straightened my clothes, smoothing my dress back into place. A slow praise song came on, playing quietly in the background as he gathered me into his arms and hugged me tight.
“Thank you,” Roberto said, sounding like his normal calm, cool, and collected self and kissed the top of my head as it rested on his chest.
“You’re welcome.”
He pushed me gently away from him. “You’d better go change.”
I walked to the door.
“Nina?”
I glanced back over my shoulder.
“Lock the door.”
I swallowed as I took note of the fire still burning in his eyes. I entered my room, pushed the door closed and leaned my back against it. As an afterthought, I locked the door as instructed, not sure if I was keeping him out or me in.
Knowing we both needed time, I gathered clothing and took it into the bathroom with me and showered. Despite popular opinion, cold—or rather cool—showers don’t do anything to curb desire, but it did give me time to think and gain greater control over my flesh, which was still screaming at me for denying it what it wanted.
Roberto stood as I entered the living room. “We need to talk,” he quietly stated.
“I’m sorry.” It just burst out without any forethought.
He tilted his head to the side. “For?”
If he were anyone else, I would have thought he was being sarcastic, looking for his pound of flesh after the way I’d treated him, but I knew Roberto sincerely wanted to know why I was apologizing. It was there in the surprised expression on his face.
“For blowing up, storming out and not returning your calls.” As much as I hated to apologize, I had no problems admitting when I was wrong.
“Come sit down.” He motioned toward the couch. When I was seated, he sat close next to me, hesitated, then increased the distance between us. I couldn’t help but smile at this telling action.
He turned to me and brought his knee up on the couch between us. My gaze dropped to his crotch and I hurriedly snatched it away, hopefully before he noticed.
“I’ve never seen you so angry,” he began.
“Well, I’ve never had a man announce he was in love with and planned to marry me without discussing it with me first,” I sniped. Okay, apparently that was still a sore spot with me.
Roberto frowned. “Surely you understand why?”
The problem was, I did understand. Roberto was an honorable man, a true gentleman. He was also more concerned about my reputation than I. In fact, today was the first hint of impropriety he’d ever shown towards me. I sighed. “I understand, but that’s not exactly the way a woman wants to be told that she’s loved or that the man she’s seeing is contemplating marriage.”
He moved close enough to cup my cheek. “It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. I told you from the beginning that I wanted everything. What did you think I meant?”
Not marriage, obviously although I should have known.
“Nina?” he questioned when I didn’t answer.
“I don’t know. I didn’t think. Just kind of went with the flow.”
“And now that you know?” He gazed intently into my eyes, demanding things of me I wasn’t sure I was ready to give.
“I think maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t love you. As far as marriage goes, that’s something I’m not, and may never be ready for.” I tried to be honest with him.
His smile was mysterious, secretive even. As if he knew something I didn’t and the knowledge amused him. “Let me worry about my heart. Did you miss me at all this last week and a half?”
I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction as I admitted, “Yes.”
“Look at me.” He waited until I obeyed. “Do you want me in your life?”
Staring into his eyes, I saw tenderness and another emotion I was unwilling to identify as again I admitted that the answer was, “Yes.”
“Then as far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed. We’re still taking it one day at a time, getting to know each other and enjoying one another’s company,” he stated firmly, as though that settled everything.
“But…”
He kissed me silent. While not the unrestrained passion of before, this kiss nevertheless held more heat than the gentle pecks I was used to. It effectively silenced me and robbed me of every protest.
“No buts. Now let’s get out of here and go get something to eat before I forget myself again.”
Chapter Seven
I was…happy. Content. Life was good and I was enjoying every moment of it. Two months later and Roberto and I were still going strong as ever. I kept waiting for him to slip, to be something other than what he was portraying himself to be but so far he hadn’t.
I’d seen him tired, angry, and frustrated. I could tell by the infliction in his voice what type of mood he was in. Our friendship grew stronger by the day. I found myself sharing with him the things I’d previously only told to God.
He was learning me as well. When I went to share a problem with him, he’d ask, “Do you want a sounding board or advice?”
Most times the answer was sounding board, although I’d discovered Roberto frequently provided deep insight into problems that helped me make the right decisions without emotions clouding my view. We also worked well together, as Pastor discovered when he assigned us to work one of the many projects always needing to be done at the church.
The twins looked forward to seeing Roberto as much as I did, and I was as comfortable in his home as I was my own. We worked hard to keep our relationship above reproach, although you wouldn’t believe it the way some people acted.
“I can’t believe the way they’re flaunting their relationship. Pastor needs to sit both of them down. I know they’re having sex. You can tell by the way they are together. And I know for sure they aren’t married. Sinning, in the house of the Lord. I don’t know what Roberto sees in her anyway. He’s too good for her.”
I’d innocently walked into the restroom to find Roberto and I the topic of discussion.
“It’s cause she’s giving it up. You know, men never marry those kinds. They just take what they want and move on to the next woman,” another voice said.
I came around the corner of the wall that separated the lounge from the restroom sink and stalls into view. “Really? And you two know so much? How dare you two sit here gossiping, judging my and Roberto’s relationship when you know nothing. As if you had room to talk. Sister Percelle, I see you have your baby with you today. It’s a shame her daddy decided not to leave his wife after all.”
She sucked in a shocked breath.
“And Sister Brenda, I’m really surprised to see you here. I mean, you’ve only been married for…a year isn’t it? But how long did you and your man shack up before he finally decided to marry you?”
She looked at me as though I were the devil incarnate.
“Before you ladies…and I use the term loosely…go slinging mud, you might want to make sure your own lives are above reproach. These other people may smile in your face and let you get away with your holier than thou attitudes, but I won’t. I guarantee if we start comparing notes, you’ll come out much worse than I.”
One of the younger Sisters of the church muffled a snicker. Another said, “It’s about time somebody brought those biddies down a peg or two.”
The ladies in question swept out of the bathroom.
I handled my business and returned to Roberto, fired up. He leaned over and asked, “What happened?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.” I wasn’t going to let their jealously ruin my day, cause that’s all it was. They wanted him and was pissed that he wasn’t interested in them, despite all they’d done over the years to attract his attention.
I still wasn’t sure why he’d picked me, or what it was about me that drew
him but I didn’t worry overly much about it. He thought he was in love with me and sometimes, I believed it was true. I was taking things one day at a time.
A couple of weeks later, I waited for Roberto to pick me up for a couple’s banquet we were attending sponsored by the Marriage and Family Ministry of our church. I’d splurged and purchased a gorgeous chiffon dress in for the occasion. It had a handkerchief hem, deep-v neckline, and three-quarter length sheer sleeves.
What I loved about it was that it hugged me in the right areas and skimmed the problem ones. In it I felt beautiful, dainty and graceful as it floated around my calves with my slightest movement. The sling-back heels I wore added a few inches to my height. When I saw the heat and admiration in Roberto’s gaze, I added sexy to my list of adjectives.
“You always look beautiful, but today you outdid yourself. I only wished you’d left your hair down,” he commented.
I reached up to straighten his already straight tie, just needed to touch him. “You’re looking rather debonair yourself.”
“Come here. I need my kiss.” His hands slid from my waist to grip me by the hips as he pulled me forward. With my added height, we stood eye-to-eye, perfect for kissing. By the time he turned me loose, I was breathing heavy and more interested in staying in than going out. It set the tone for the rest of the evening.
The MFM had wisely made the decision to hold the banquet in a facility away from the church. The food was delicious. The company lively and the accommodations lovely. There was a live jazz band that was absolutely incredible, and a Christian comedian that made me laugh until I cried.
The highlight of the evening was the dancing. I read in a book once where dancing was described as making love with your clothes on. Roberto made that true. There was nothing lewd or obscene about our actions. With my arms around his neck and his low on my hips, he held me close enough for our chests and pelvis to rub with each step. He was aroused, and I’d been in a low state of arousal since our kiss. The romantic atmosphere just kept it at a low hum.
When the festivities ended, I wasn’t ready for the evening to end. “Let’s go somewhere.”
Roberto smiled as he helped me into the SUV. “Where?”
“I don’t care. I’m just not ready to go home.”
He walked around and got in on his side. “It’s a little too cool to walk along the river.”
“That’s perfect. Besides, I trust you to keep me warm.”
He reached out, took my hand and kissed the back of it before holding it between us. “The Riverwalk it is.”
While definitely chilly, it wasn’t too cool to spoil my enjoyment as we walked along the riverbank boardwalk. At one point, Roberto pinned me against the railing and kissed me again. I burrowed under his jacket and held him close.
He caged me in, looked me in the eye and said, “I love you.”
“Why?”
He chuckled. “That right there is one of the many reasons.”
My left eyebrow arched in surprise. “Because I questioned you?”
“No, because you don’t see your own worth.”
I frowned at him. “Are you saying I have low self-esteem?”
“No, I’m saying that you don’t realize how precious you are.”
I snorted. “I’m blunt and outspoken.”
“You’re open and honest.”
I narrowed my eyes at the way he’d twisted my negative to a positive.
“You’re also loyal, faithful and loving.”
“You make me sound like a golden retriever.”
He burst out laughing. “And you have a wonderful sense of humor.”
“You must be in love…or blind. I’m not sure which applies.”
He kissed me again, a long lingering one. “It’s love.”
A breeze, colder than the rest, blew across the river and I shivered.
“Let’s get you out of this cold.” He escorted me back to the vehicle. I still wasn’t ready to go home but remaining out here dressed as I was would have been foolish.
When we reached my house, Roberto cut off the engine, which clued me in that he was coming inside. Good, I was nowhere ready for him to leave. Instead, I wanted to continue our discussion.
As soon as we entered the house, I kicked off my shoes, glad to be out of them. Loved the way they looked but I really wasn’t a heel wearer. Wiggling my toes, I followed Roberto to the couch. He took off his jacket and tossed it onto the love seat, loosed his tie and the first few buttons of his shirt before being seated. Instead of sitting beside him as normal, I knelt on the cushion facing him.
“Seriously Roberto, how can you be so sure it’s love? We haven’t been together that long. You don’t know me well enough.”
He captured me by the waist and pulled until I straddled his lap. “If we’re going to have this conversation, I want you closer.”
My hands automatically went to his chest as my dress rose up around my thighs. Roberto’s large, hard hands cupped my butt and pulled me even closer until my crotch was nestled against his groin. Suddenly, I was uncomfortably aware just how damp my underwear was.
“If this is supposed to help me concentrate on our conversation, it’s not working.”
His grin was a trifle wicked. “No, this is for me.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at him. I quickly sobered as he began to speak.
“You think I don’t know you, but I do. I’ve been watching and learning you for awhile.”
“How long is awhile?”
He tightened his grip on my butt like he expected me to bolt. “For years, long before I ever approached you. In fact, since I joined the church.”
I froze, stunned. Roberto joined House of Prayer a few years after I did, and I’d been at the church for eleven years, since the twins were two. I quickly did the math. Eight years. He’d been watching me for eight years?
Before I could recover, he tipped me over onto my back on the couch and came down on top of me. “What’s more, you love me too.”
“Wh-what makes you say that?” It was hard to think with us lying like we were. I shook my head, disagreeing with him.
“Yes, you do. I know you do. You just haven’t admitted it to yourself, but you will.” He was utterly convinced of what he was saying.
I wiggled to get into a more comfortable position and stopped when I felt a lower part of his anatomy harden and rise. Pressed as he was against my mound, I couldn’t help but notice.
“I don’t like your hair like this. Lift up.” I obediently raised my head so he could pull all the pins out of my hair. He unraveled my French roll and spread my tresses out on the couch. “That’s much better.”
“Roberto,” I sighed, not wanting to disappoint him, “I like you, a lot. I enjoy being with you, but that’s not love.”
“Nina,” he mocked, “you love me as much as I love you. Want to know how I know?”
“Yes, tell me why you’re so sure of yourself.” I smirked at him, convinced he wouldn’t be able to prove his case. I’d know if I was in love with the man, wouldn’t I?
Roberto rose to his knees and slid his hands straight up my thighs, under my dress until his hands gripped my panties. I grabbed his forearms. “What are you doing?”
“Taking these. Very nice,” he commented as he stripped the panties right off of me and tossed them to the side. I held my skirt down to keep myself covered, but other than that did little to stop him.
“What did that prove?” I asked as he settled back on top of me, braced on his forearms above me.
“Remember that day in your exercise room?”
How could I forget? I still dreamt about it, but in my dreams we didn’t stop. “Yes, but what has that to do with this?”
He gave me that mysterious smile of his again and chuckled. “You really don’t know yourself very well, do you? That night, if I’d pushed, you would have let me make love to you.”
“You took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting to see you, and I missed you,�
�� I explained.
“Uh-huh, and right now, even knowing it’s wrong, you’d let me strip this dress off of you and make love to you all night. What does that tell you?” He arched a brow while he awaited my answer.
I was still caught up on the ‘all night’ part of his statement. “That I’m horny?”
He laughed, took my hands and pinned them down over my head. He lowered his face until we were nose-to-nose and my eyes almost crossed looking at him. “You called me baby.”
“No I didn’t,” I firmly denied. Baby is what I’d called Jonathan until he pissed me off that last time. Then I called him by his name—his last name.
“Yes, you did. The first time was the night we almost made love and you’ve done it several times since.”
I was vigorously shaking my head.
He dropped a kiss on my lips. “I hate to drag you out of the denial you’re in, but you love me and this,” he looked down at my body stretched out beneath him, “proves it. You are not the type of woman to give your body unless you’ve already given your heart.”
His insight rocked me to my core. I pushed his revelation to the side to deal with later, raised up and kissed him. Teasing his lips with mine, I nibbled around the edges before pulling his lower lip in mine and sucking on it. Simultaneously, I wrapped both of my legs around his and arched into him.
He groaned and took charge. I was uniquely aware that there were only three thin layers of material keeping him away from where I wanted him to be. The kiss went on and on, until we were both gasping for air.
Roberto rested his forehead against mine, breathing hard. “That’s enough of that.” He released me, rose up on his knees and tugged me into a seated position. “Any more and what those women said at church will be the truth.”
My mouth dropped open. “How did you…?”
“I told you. I observe. I know everything that concerns you, especially in the church.” He leaned over and grabbed his jacket. “I have something for you.”
Love's Challenges Page 6
