“Jay,” she cried. Suddenly he rolled onto his back, drawing her on top of him.
“Take me then, my impatient love.”
She reached down, circling his shaft, pumping firmly, enjoying his groan as he drove his hips up. But she was too starved, too desperate to tease him. Kneeling, she held the base of his shaft and directed him toward her pussy.
They both moaned as the tip of him came into contact with her warm, moist folds. Instead of immediately directing him to her entrance, she guided his cock to her clit, rubbing the head over the swollen bundle of nerves, watching him as he watched her, each feeding off the other’s joy.
“Jesus, Cassie, you’re so hot. Look at you, a goddess. How did I ever get you?”
She whimpered as he cupped her breasts, his thumbs grazing her nipples. It was too much. She had to have him, now. Moving the head of his shaft to her entrance, she drove herself on him in one smooth, clean thrust. Then she dropped forward, placing her palms flat on his chest, staring down at him once more. Passion was etched into every line of his face while his eyes seemed to glitter with burning need.
Thighs quivering, she couldn’t seem to move fast enough, to take as much of him in as she needed.
“Easy,” he moaned, resting his hands on her hips as he slowed her down.
“I want,” she panted, “I want—”
“Shh, baby, I know.” He rolled onto his side, taking her with him, his cock still lodged firmly inside her. Clasping her thigh, he raised one leg up so it rested over his hip before dipping his hand down between them, his finger homing in on her clit, giving her exactly what she longed for.
“Oh, oh, ohhh,” she cried as she came, her orgasm rolling through her. He drove into her harder, this position making him feel even bigger, filling her even more. Cassie clasped his shoulders, clamping her muscles around his shaft until he gave one final deep plunge and exploded.
Relaxing, he pulled out of her and rolled onto his back, gathering her against his side.
“Wow, who knew it could get better?” she marveled as he chuckled. He ran his hand down her back, slapping her bottom lightly.
“We’ll have to start packing,” Jay murmured as she snuggled into his chest. “Although we’ll wait for the morning.”
“Packing?” She stiffened.
“I take it you want to bring some of this stuff with you?”
“Ahh, well, most of my gear is still in Landon, this is the landlord’s furniture.”
“That’ll make it quicker then.”
“Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you asking me to move in with you?”
He leaned up on one elbow. “Of course you’ll move in with me.”
“Onto the estate?”
“Yes.” He was looking at her a little quizzically.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Not quite yet. Moving in with you, moving onto the estate. Those are big steps.”
“Cassie.” He took her hand, squeezing it gently. “You’re my mate. These last few days, keeping my distance, it was incredibly, horrendously hard. I don’t want to waste any more time apart from you.”
She chewed her lip. She’d known this was coming, she just hadn’t expected him to broach the subject so soon. But then, what had she thought? That they’d live apart? That wasn’t what she wanted at all.
“Can I have a little more time? I have to work out a week’s notice anyway. Jimmy took me on with no experience. He took a chance on me. I can’t leave him hanging.”
Jay snorted. “Oh yeah, he took a real chance. Come on, Cassie, the guy snapped you up because he knew how lucky he was that someone as classy and hardworking as you wanted to work in that dump.”
“It’s not a dump.”
“Yeah it is, and you owe that guy no loyalty. I bet he works you long hours for crap pay and with little thanks.”
Well, she couldn’t really argue with that, but still…
“I’m not walking out, Jay,” she replied, crossing her arms. “I do have some work ethic, you know. I need some time to get used to the two of us before I have to get used to living with the pack, to sharing you with them. I know it’s selfish when you need to go back—”
“You’re not being selfish,” he interrupted her. He ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it even more. “Okay, another week it is. You can get used to living with me before you have to live on the estate. I must admit, I like having you all to myself.”
“Are you sure? I’ll understand if you have to go, I can follow…”
He shook his head. “They’ll manage without me.”
But she saw the frown flutter across his face and she wondered how long he could, and would, stay away.
* * * * *
“That was one hot kiss.” Ella fanned her hand in front of her face as she stepped into the kitchen of Fat Eddy’s. “So I take it you and Jay are together now?”
Cassie blushed. Jay had walked her into the bar, kissing her lingeringly before he’d taken a seat in her section. She’d tried to convince him to stay at home but he’d told her he could make his calls as easily from the bar as he could from her apartment, and here he could keep an eye on her. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that, but didn’t feel it was something to argue with him over. Yet.
“Yeah, we are.”
“About time, any fool can see he loves you.”
“He hasn’t said it,” Cassie replied, surprised by how much she longed to hear the words from him. “I didn’t think you liked him.”
Ella shrugged. “I was prepared to hate him after he hurt you. But he’s not so bad.”
“He wants me to move back with him. But I don’t know if I’m ready for that just yet.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
Cassie shook her head. Do I?
“You’re lying to yourself if you think you don’t, Cassie. Even my jaded, disillusioned eyes can see he makes you happy. Maybe, maybe that’s worth a shot. Life is what you make it.”
The taller woman turned her face away abruptly as Cassie gaped, taken aback. Ella always seemed so tough, yet Cassie was sure she’d seen her eyes glitter with tears.
“Of course, it could be that he enjoys the chase. Some guys are like that, they like to chase and when they catch you they dump you like last week’s rubbish.” The words were bitter but the pain was real.
“Ella—” Cassie reached up with a tentative hand but Ella shrugged it off, walking to the door.
“I guess you’ve got to decide if he’s worth the risk to your heart.”
Chapter Nine
“Who was that?” she asked as Jay walked into the bedroom, shutting his cell phone. It had been a long shift and she felt exhausted. It didn’t help that she’d spent half the time worrying about moving back to the estate and the other half trying to get Jay to stop growling at all her patrons.
He’d taken exception to every customer she had, glaring at them until she’d stepped away. Tomorrow, she was going to insist he stay at home.
“Rye,” he answered, his face serious.
“What is it? Is it Dusty?”
“Dusty’s okay, not great, but she’s alive. They’re releasing her soon. Cain’s still with her. We thought it was HAW who bombed the shop, but Dusty reckons she caught a scent before the bomb went off. She’s certain she smelled a werewolf.”
“What? Not one of the Shadowpeak pack?”
“No.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t know who, but she’s certain it was a werewolf.”
“Why would another werewolf bomb the shop? And how are you all going to find him?”
“Good questions,” he replied seriously. “The enforcers are meeting tonight to discuss possibilities. I’ll ring Rye tomorrow for a briefing.”
“Wow, that’s awful. I mean, it’s awful to think HAW would do something like that, but for it to be another werewolf? That’s horrid.”
Jay nodded, obviously deep in thought.
“They need you to
go back,” she guessed.
He gazed over at her pensively. “Yeah, they do.”
“When?”
“Now, apparently. I told Rye that was impossible, that I’d be back next week. He wasn’t happy.”
She swallowed. Cassie felt awful, she knew he needed to go home. She was worried about fitting in with the pack. Jay seemed confident they’d accept her but she wasn’t so sure. She’d be the odd one out again, the only human. But she couldn’t keep him with her, not when they needed him.
“I have some questions,” Cassie began, sitting up on the bed. Maybe she’d feel better if she armed herself with some information.
“Yeah?” Jay glanced up at her, his fingers moving in long sweeps over her thigh.
“Will the pack always come first? If Ryan were to order you home, would you have to go? Leave me?”
Jay shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. Not really. The pack is an integral part of a werewolf’s life. Werewolves have to live with a pack.”
“Laney lived away from the pack for a year.”
“Which was remarkable. Lone werewolves can go feral, can start killing for fun, and I don’t mean just targeting animals.”
She gulped. “What happens then?”
“Each pack takes care of its own, so the tracker for that pack would have to hunt the feral wolf down.”
“And kill them?” she asked.
He nodded.
“Who’s the tracker in your pack?”
“Marcus. But it isn’t simply a fear of going feral that keeps a werewolf in a pack. We’re a family. We’re a community. We help and protect one another. So if Cooper ordered me back, yes, I’d probably have to go. But I know he’d only do it if it was absolutely necessary, because he knows my being here is extremely important to me. I’m an enforcer. It’s not just a job. It’s who I am. I can’t turn my back on that.”
“I know.” She grabbed his hand. “I wouldn’t ask you to. I guess I’m trying to understand where I fit in, that’s all.”
“You’re my mate.” He sat up and lifted her into his lap. “You mean everything. It’s all about balance and respect. The pack respects the bond between mates, and wouldn’t come between them. In turn, mated werewolves work for the good of the pack. At least, that’s the way a healthy pack should work. Zachary ruled more by fear than respect.”
She patted his chest, trying to ease the tension.
“Does that make sense?”
“I guess so. I suppose I’ll understand better once I’m there.”
He kissed her tenderly. “It means so much that you’re willing to try to live with the pack, to learn our ways. I promise to help as much as I can.”
“You know, this is the most I’ve heard you talk about the pack. You don’t talk much about being a werewolf.”
He stiffened and she noticed his eyes darken.
“That’s not bad or anything,” she said hastily. “You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to. But I would like to see your wolf one day, if it’s okay with you.”
He remained silent for so long she wondered if he was ever going to speak to her again. Then he spoke quietly. “It’s not that I don’t want to show you, it’s just…” He sighed. “Remember that girl I told you about? The human one I got involved with?”
She nodded. “The one you said betrayed you?” She’d been wondering about her, had been waiting for a good time to ask.
“I used to go to the market each week in Sefton. Lia worked there for her dad. I thought it was love at first sight. We had to date in secret. Zachary hated humans. Hell, he hated most everyone. So I went against my Alpha, against pack rules at the time, and got involved with her.”
Cassie gulped at the word love, achingly aware he’d never said the words to her. She knew Ella was right. She loved him. They were mated. Surely that meant he loved her. Or was it possible for a werewolf to mate without love? Could it be purely about the wolf’s wants and not the man’s? No, that was stupid, he loved her. And she didn’t need to hear the words.
She didn’t.
“Zachary would never have allowed me to marry her. No one in the pack would have dared bring a human back, not unless they wished them harm. But I thought I was in love and didn’t care what the pack thought, what her father thought. She still lived with her folks, and they were kind of old-fashioned.
“She didn’t want to tell them she was dating. I think both of us were hooked on the thrill of sneaking around. When I worked up the courage to tell her I was a werewolf she acted a little weird, but I didn’t really think anything of it.” He laughed, the sound distinctly unhappy.
“Weird?”
“Oh, she became sort of jumpy, anxious. She asked a lot of questions about the pack. I thought she was nervous. Then she asked me to show her the wolf.”
“Did you?” she asked when he paused.
“Not at first. But she kept asking and I eventually gave in. Normally when we were going to meet up, she would tell her family that she was going to a friend’s house, and we’d meet in the park a street over. The night I agreed to change, though, she asked me to meet her in the garden of her parents’ place.” He paused, shrugging. “I thought it was kind of odd. Changing in populated areas is against the law. Not only is it dangerous for us, but the government doesn’t want us scaring anyone. But I was young and stupid, and when she told me she was a little frightened and that it would be easier on her to do this someplace familiar, I gave in.”
“What happened?”
“I changed. But her father must have been watching, because he came at me with a shotgun. She was screaming, he was shooting—it was a mess. He got me in the flank and I ran. I had to. Next day the cops turned up at the estate and arrested me.”
“Oh my God.” No wonder he doesn’t talk much about the pack.
“Yeah. Rye got me a good lawyer and I was merely charged with trespassing and changing in an urban area. I was confined to the estate for a year, had to pay a large fine. Luckily, there was no evidence to support Lia and her father’s accusations that I’d attacked them. I wasn’t supposed to have any contact with Lia again.”
“Except you did,” she guessed.
“I had to. I had to see her.”
“And?” she asked, knowing she wasn’t going to like what he said next.
“And she told me to stay away from her, that I disgusted her. That I was nothing but a filthy animal and she wished her father had gotten me in the heart.”
“Oh Jay.”
He shrugged. “She was young, still under her parents’ influence. Turns out they were fanatics. They were using her to pump me for information about the pack. Thankfully, I never said anything they could use.”
“You were young too, and you took it to heart, didn’t you?”
“For about a year I didn’t change. I felt, well, ashamed, I guess. She said some pretty vile, racist things, screwed me up for a while. It kind of broke something between the wolf and me. Instead of working together, we fought for dominance and I won. I swore after that incident that I would put the pack first. They’d always been there for me when I needed them most.”
“Why do you suppose she asked to see your wolf?”
He sighed. “Rye did some investigating. It turned out her father was a member of HAW. He must have been waiting for me. For proof I was a werewolf before he took me out.”
“Oh God.” She swallowed heavily at the betrayal he must have felt. It was a wonder he wanted anything to do with a human woman again.
“Jay?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you still love her?”
Rolling her onto her back, he rested up on one elbow, leaning over her, his eyes dark and serious.
“No, I don’t. I never really did.”
She nodded, glancing away. For some reason she had the ridiculous urge to cry.
“I love you, though,” he declared.
She gasped, afraid she’d heard him wrong.
“
W-what?”
“I love you, Cassidy Callington. I love you so much I can barely breathe without thinking about you, craving you, desiring you. When I’m apart from you, all I think about is seeing you again, when I’m with you, all I can think about is touching you, making you smile, hearing you laugh, holding you close.”
“Y-you do?” She could scarcely believe what she was hearing.
His eyebrows rose. “What did you think it meant when I told you that you were my mate?”
“I-I don’t know. I mean, I hoped. But then I wasn’t sure, I thought perhaps a mating might just be about biology.”
“Biology, huh? Believe me, a mating is about much more than biology. Although that helps.” He waggled his eyebrows and she giggled. “Don’t think that you need to say it back. There’s no rush, no pressure.”
Tears filled her eyes as she kissed him, hard. The kiss turned sweeter and he leaned back to smile down at her, his eyes gentle and warm.
“I’m so lucky to have you. I love you too,” she said.
“You do?” he repeated her words.
“Uh-huh.” He drew her against him, holding her tight.
“I’m the lucky one. I can’t believe it. I thought it would be too soon.” He kissed her again before sitting up, then stared down at her seriously. “There’s something I’d like you to answer for me though, okay? I need you to open up with me, Cassie. I need you to trust me enough with all of you. Can you do that?”
She chewed at her lower lip. Opening herself up, risking hurt—it was hard for her. But this wouldn’t work without communication or trust.
“Okay, I’ll try.”
“You used baggy clothes and the long hair to help hide yourself, didn’t you? Why?”
She took a deep, steadying breath and pondered how best to explain this. Finally she just started talking.
“I’ve always been quite shy, I’ve never really liked confrontation or upsetting people. Growing up, I always kind of felt like an outsider. I didn’t have many friends at school. Their parents didn’t approve of my mom and kids pick up on that sort of stuff. It just became easier to hide, to keep to myself, you know? If I didn’t try to make friends or to have a relationship…well, then, I couldn’t get hurt.”
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