“That’s possibly the only bit of good luck the poor guy has had in over a decade. Thanks for taking care of him. Danny certainly is the most remarkable traveler of all time, and he gave me a wealth of ideas to use for my studies of the communication chamber. Someday soon, I look forward giving you a firsthand demonstration of how it works.”
“Thanks, Aldo – I’d find that utterly fascinating. I’ll let you know if Danny has any complications, and for sure let me know if my husband tries to escape from the wine cellar.”
“For sure. Goodnight, Jessica.”
“Goodnight, Aldo.”
Jessica was very surprised to see Danny walking about – he was just returning to her bed after a visit to the bathroom. He had a noticeable limp, but he looked reasonably well considering he had been shot and nearly bled to death earlier in the day.
“Oh my God, Danny – you’re not ready to walk yet. You really ought to stay in bed and heal up some more.”
“It really was a matter of nature’s calling, and I didn’t like the alternative. You have such a nice bed – I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“Oh, that’s very thoughtful, but tonight I’m here to be your nurse. If you need any food, drink, or even bathroom assistance, I’m here to help.”
Danny climbed back into bed, with Jessica helping to lift his injured leg.
“I guess I must be doing better, because I’m feeling rather hungry,” said Danny as he noticed the sandwich platter and wine bottle that she had placed onto her desktop.
“Let me bring you a sandwich. The red wine I brought you should help to lessen your leg pain. Now that you’re fully awake, let me apologize to you for shooting you. I’m terribly sorry – I just really thought that you were my cheating husband. After all, you look – and even sound just like him.”
Now that Danny’s mind was clearing he asked, “Jessica – where’s my friend, Aldo?”
“Oh, that’s right – you were unconscious for hours, so let me give you a full update on our hectic day. First, we had to stop your bleeding. You were hemorrhaging profusely. Aldo went home to get medical supplies to give you a transfusion. He took more than a quart of blood from my husband, and then he pumped that into your veins which saved your life. Next, Aldo and I had to get rid of the limo with the poor, dead limo driver in the trunk, so we buried the entire limo in my backyard where we planned to build a swimming pool.”
“You said the limo driver, a big, tough-looking Samoan is dead. I just conked him on the head with a water bottle – I thought he had a head like a rock. How did he die?”
“That’s a shocking mystery to both Aldo and me, but he certainly wasn’t breathing when we opened the trunk lid. I already promised to Aldo to make sure that his family will be taken care of. I feel terribly sorry for them.”
“The person who should feel sorry is me,” said a somber Danny. “I shouldn’t have hit him so hard, but he was choking the life out of Aldo.”
“It’s just a terrible accident, but I can see that you had no choice other than to help your friend.”
“By the way, did you know that Aldo knocked out your husband? The last I saw of him, he was still out cold in the back of the limo. I hope you didn’t bury him alive.”
“Oh no. Aldo and I carried him down to our wine cellar. His hands and feet are still duct-taped together. Aldo is staying at our downstairs, guest bedroom to make sure that my husband doesn’t try to escape.”
“Gee whiz, Jessica – I guess you really were serious about your hostile feelings towards your husband.”
Breaking down into tears Jessica said, “He completely destroyed my trust in him when I learned that he’s been cheating on me for years with a floozy named, ‘Babs’. I always wanted to have kids, but for years my husband claimed he was impotent. He hasn’t even kissed me for God knows how long. I learned to accept that, but my feelings changed instantly when I recently learned about Babs. You know, I was moments away from killing myself, so I can definitely say that you saved my life. How ironic it is that I almost ended your life. That was a disastrous case of the unusual, mistaken identity. I really want to thank you for saving my life, and opening my eyes that suicide isn’t the right answer for me. Thank you, Danny – with all my heart.”
With those touching words, Jessica sat down and kissed Danny sweetly on the lips. Danny was swept up in the moment, and he kissed her back. Suddenly, Jessica’s sweet kiss of gratitude had evolved into outright necking. She had truly been Danny’s one and only ‘dream girl’ ever since sixth grade, and they both were swept away in the moment. Their steamy, hot kissing continued for quite some time until suddenly her husband’s smartphone was ringing. Jessica got up and ran to the bathroom where the ringing sounds came from.
As wonderful of an experience as it was for Danny to be kissing his dream girl, he felt a bit awkward at the thought it might lead to a sexual encounter. As a result of being a paraplegic since high school, Danny was still a virgin, and he was concerned about his sexual prowess – especially with a fresh bullet hole in his leg. However, the sexy mood seemed to change when moments later, Jessica returned to Danny’s bedside carrying her husband’s smartphone with a look of total disgust on her face.
“It’s her – It’s that damn bitch, Babs, calling from the Cayman Islands. I want to answer it and scream at her.”
“No, don’t do that,” said Danny with a sly look on his face. “Give me the phone, and stay right next to me. Just play along – OK?”
The smartphone had two-way video on it, so each party could see each other as they spoke…
“Oh, Danny honey, I waited for you at airport all day,” said a concerned Babs. “I hope you’re OK, but I became worried when your name wasn’t even on the passenger list. I checked to see if there were any other flights you might have taken, including any private, charter flights, but you weren’t on any of them either. I hope you are still coming soon. I just can’t wait to take a Jacuzzi with you. I’m in a very sexy mood – I’ve been walking around the airport in this micro miniskirt without any panties on. Here, let me prove it.”
Sure enough, the tasteless Babs pulled up her skirt and took a ‘selfie’ of her shaved, private parts.
“Babs, pull down your skirt before you end up in trouble,” said Danny as he positioned his phone’s camera to capture Jessica sitting right next to him. Continuing, Danny said, “As you can see, Jessica and I are back together. I’ve told her all about our sordid affair, and she has been very nice to give me another chance. My wife has a wonderful, loving, personality that is nicer than your selfish, manipulative behavior.”
“So, Danny honey – are you saying it’s over between us? What about that nice little bank account you promised to open here in my name?”
Danny captured a selfie video of him French-kissing the beautiful Jessica, and then he said, “I’m sorry, Babs, but you and I are definitely through. As they say, ‘why settle for hamburger when you can have steak?’ My dear wife, Jessica, is prime fillet mignon, and frankly, I never liked the smell of your pussy anyway. You really ought to douche it out more often.”
“Why, you goddamn, son-of-a,” but Danny hung up the phone on her before Babs could continue with her screams.
A delighted Jessica said, “Oh, Danny – that was spectacular. You just ripped apart my arch enemy’s little, black heart. I can never thank you enough – you just made me incredibly happy.”
Jessica held her arms around Danny’s shoulders as she continued to embrace him while looking deeply into his eyes… “By some amazing stroke of fate, I am finally in the arms of the man I always knew I was in love with. Somehow, I married the wrong Danny – I can see what a big difference it is to be with the right man instead. You are the right one for me.”
Danny was swept up in the moment of passion and love, but a jolt of pain from his wounded leg reminded him that he was in no condition to lose his virginity tonight.
A compassionate Jessica knew that they were getting carried away, too
far and too fast, so she toned it down by just snuggling up against her newfound, true love for the duration of that night…
10
Jessica woke up at the break of dawn and went downstairs to check in on Aldo…
“Good morning, Aldo,” said Jessica who had a surprisingly upbeat, happy vibe to her. Aldo thought it seemed odd in light of her being at the brink of suicide less than 24 hours ago.
“Good morning, Jessica,” replied Aldo with a look of curiosity in his eyes. “My – you sure seem to be in an amazingly good mood. Did you just up your dosage of Prozac?”
“No. Of course not – silly,” said a giggling, effervescent Jessica, “but I feel like I’m on some kind of wonderful drug – the ultimate high of falling deeply in love.”
Aldo quickly caught on, but he jumped to the wrong conclusion, “So, Jessica – did you make a man out of my friend from another dimension? You know, I’m pretty sure he was still a virgin since he’s spent all of his adult life in a wheelchair.”
A blushing Jessica said, “No – we haven’t gone that far – yet. I love the fact that he’s the polar opposite of my cheating husband, yet he seems very familiar to me even though we just met. I wonder how he can be so identical to my asshole spouse, and yet be so astoundingly different.”
“For starters, your husband is the recipient of vast amounts of easy money – most of which came by way of blind luck. On the other hand, our other Danny had to struggle his whole life to overcome adversity. Needless to say, you fell in love with the Danny who truly has backbone.”
“That sure makes sense,” replied Jessica as she continued to ponder over Aldo’s interesting theory… “The new Danny has a warm heart and true backbone, while my cheating husband is a heartless, spineless, son of a bitch.”
“Yeah – eloquently stated – that pretty much sums it up.”
“So, Aldo, did you hear any disturbances coming from the wine cellar?”
“No – not a peep. Do you think we should check up on him?”
“Let’s wait until later. I just know he’s going to spoil my good mood once he’s awake and starts to complain. Let him sleep some more. Why don’t we wait until after our trip to the bank? After all, this is the day that Danny Donaldson is making a substantial grant to the University of Washington’s Physics Department on behalf of Professor Aldo Paganini. Additionally, we’re going to get you a tidy sum of five hundred thousand dollars in cash to handily pay off your mortgage, and then some. I imagine that would cure all your financial problems.”
“Oh, mama mia – grazie a dio, Jessica. That would make me the happiest man on earth.”
“I’m sorry, Aldo, but you’ll have to settle for being the second happiest man alive. I can’t tell you how sincere I am to make the new Danny happier than anybody.”
“Yes, Jessica – that’s a wonderful idea. We’ll both be forever grateful,” said Aldo as he held both of her hands in gratitude. “However, you must realize that we have many hurdles to cross before we all live happily ever after. The police will be investigating for the missing limo and driver, and I really don’t know how long we can keep your famous husband hidden from the public eye. It certainly won’t be an easy road for us.”
“That’s true,” said Jessica as she came back down from her euphoria of love. “I need to make some calls to cancel the swimming pool contractor, and I better postpone the maid service as well. Aldo, why don’t you come upstairs in a half hour? I need your help to change Danny’s bandages.”
“That sounds great, Jessica – and please take this gun and place it back in your desk for safekeeping.”
Jessica had no trouble at all postponing the maid service until next week, but the swimming pool contractor was rather upset with her request for cancelling the job. The general contractor explained that all the subcontractors were already scheduled – beginning with the concrete subcontractor, who was scheduled to start the very next day. Finally, when Jessica offered to pay off the entire contract in full to stop the project, the contractor willfully agreed. He insisted on dropping off the final bill in person, but Jessica asked him mail it to her to keep him away from the premises. After several minutes of persuasion, the general contractor finally agreed to e-mail her a closing bill with the understanding that she would wire him the funds immediately. Jessica let out a sigh of relief as she said, “OK – you’ve got yourself a deal.”
After successfully canceling the swimming pool project and postponing the maid service, Jessica went to a storage room to dig up a pair of crutches for Danny. She carried both crutches in one arm, and she carried the gun in her other hand, as she went back upstairs to the master suite.
When she entered the bedroom, Danny was awake and sitting upright in bed. He jokingly said, “I hope you’re not planning to shoot anybody again.”
“Hmm – I wasn’t planning on it, but I might consider shooting you if you don’t give me a good-morning kiss,” replied Jessica playfully as she sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. Just as she began to kiss him, there was a gentle knock on the door…
“Come on in, Aldo,” said Jessica as she continued to finish her good-morning kiss.
“Oh-oh, maybe I should just leave you two alone,” said a slightly embarrassed Aldo.
“No, Aldo – please don’t go. We need to change Danny’s bandages and add more disinfectant to his wound. Besides, I need to shave his face.”
“Why?” asked Danny. “Is my beard stubble scratching you when we kiss?”
“No – it’s just that we all need to go to the bank this morning to set up Aldo with all the funding he needs. I’m sure the bank manager is used to seeing my husband there, and he always shaves every morning.”
As Aldo began to unravel the gauze wrapped around Danny’s wounded thigh he asked him, “Does your leg hurt a lot?”
“It only hurts when I put pressure on it. I could use some aspirin to dull the pain.”
“I’m sorry, but aspirin isn’t such a good idea – It thins your blood. We can’t take the chance of your leg bleeding any more. Say, Jessica, can you see if you have any Tylenol?”
“I happen to have some ‘Tylenol-3’ with Codeine,” she replied. “That’s the good stuff. I’ll be right back, but first let me return the gun back to my desk where it belongs.”
“While Jessica went to search for the pain medicine, Aldo leaned over and whispered in Danny’s ear, “You two seem very cozy together – like a couple of teenagers experiencing their first love. I’m very happy for you.”
“Aldo, you already know that Jessica was my first love. So, yes – I feel just like a teenager experiencing romance for the first time. Remember, I’ve been crippled for the past twelve years. When we kissed, I was surprised to feel sensations down below that I haven’t felt since going through puberty,” and then Danny had to pause to wipe away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. After he regained his composure, he continued, “I’m sure that it’s a tragedy for any old man who can’t satisfy the woman he loves, but trust me – the tragedy is infinitely more devastating to a young guy.”
“Oh, Danny, I’m so happy for you – but when that precious time comes for you and Jessica to, well, you know – to get it on with her, please take my advice and just relax and enjoy it, and do what comes naturally. You need not worry that she’s deeply in love with you too.”
“Thanks, Aldo, but I’m already well aware that she loves me too.”
Aldo was just about to ask Danny some more about his budding romance when Jessica returned from the bathroom with a tray full of supplies…
“Gee, Aldo, haven’t you un-wrapped his bandages yet? Here, Danny angel, take two of these tablets. That’ll help to numb your pain.”
Jessica assisted Aldo in wiping some residual, bloody discharge from both sides of Danny’s thigh. The wound was small and circular in shape on the front side. However, it was way nastier looking on the back side where the bullet tore through Danny’s flesh as it exited his thig
h, before becoming lodged in the bedroom wall.
“Well, Danny, your luck seems to be improving,” explained Aldo. “The bullet probably passed within an inch of your femoral artery. You would have bled to death in a few short minutes if that were the case.”
“I’m just lucky that Jessica missed her target, or else I’d end up becoming a eunuch,” said Danny as he gazed up at his special sweetheart, “I might want to use that extra appendage someday.”
“Oh, Danny,” said Aldo. “I’m sure you know your penis is an organ, and not an appendage – it has no bone in it.”
“Speak for yourself, Aldo,” said a coquettish Jessica, “but this morning his thingamabob seemed to be full of solid bone.”
Aldo blushed as he felt the sudden need to undo the top button on his shirt and said, “Gee, it’s getting kind of hot in here,” while refocusing on the task at hand: redressing Danny’s wounded leg.
“OK, Jessica, fortunately his leg doesn’t appear to be infected at all. I’m sure all the bleeding helped to flush out any dirt. Let’s just apply some more disinfectant, and re-wrap it with fresh gauze. I’m sure your leg will heal back to normal.”
After the leg was wrapped in fresh bandages Danny asked, “Could you please hand me those crutches? I need to practice using them around the bedroom before we head to the bank.”
His leg felt sore and stiff, but not terribly painful as the Tylenol-3 was kicking in. Soon Danny was able to move about the master bedroom with ease, although he mentioned that he still needed help making it up and down the stairs.
“OK, Danny – we need to get you dressed. You need to look like the successful writer. Say, Jessica, could you please bring him some clothes? I’ll let you figure out what your husband would normally choose to wear for a typical, weekday morning trip to the bank.”
“He’d probably wear something casual, yet stylish – maybe some slacks, a polo shirt, and a pair of imported loafers. We can top that off with a blazer. By the way, he always wears one of his Rolex watches on his wrist.”
Ions Of Luck Page 7
