“I can’t believe you just did that,” I uttered in disbelief. I actually could. Kasey had been pulling stunts like this since we were teenagers, but I thought she’d grown out of it. We were adults now after all but there she was playing my wingwoman.
I don’t know exactly how long it took before he showed up. My sense of time was about as inebriated as my sense of balance. When we heard the knock at the door, we both just sat and stared at one another.
“You gonna let me in?” his voice sounded muffled as he knocked again.
Kasey stumbled as she climbed off the couch and grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me after her. “What’s the password?” she called through the door as she turned to me and snickered.
“I’ve got booze,” he chuckled.
“And a magic penis?” Kasey giggled.
“Don’t make him say that,” I hissed as I smacked her.
“I can take this somewhere else,” he laughed and before Kasey could embarrass him, I fumbled with the lock to get the door open.
“Please don’t,” I called as I yanked open the door and stumbled forward from its momentum, almost crashing into Ryan.
“Whoa,” he reached out, with empty arms I might add, and caught me.
“Where’s the booze,” Kasey and I glanced around, and Ryan cringed.
“At the store,” he lifted a shoulder before moving forward and ushering us inside. “Your neighbors probably don’t want a party going on in the hallway.”
“Whatever,” Kasey tossed her hands in the air. I pulled away from Ryan and made my way back to the couch. Kasey sat down beside me, forcing Ryan to take the arm chair to our left. “At least one of us is getting some tonight,” she wagged her brows as she looked from Ryan to myself.
“Yeah, sure,” I mumbled as I picked at the fringe of my jean shorts. My moods had been all over the place lately. Between the garage closing, losing my apartment, and the secrets that Ryan seemed to be keeping from me, I wasn’t sure how I felt anymore. Some days were positive and I felt like nothing could go wrong. Others made me not even want to get out of bed. The last couple of times I called Ryan it went to his voicemail, and just the other day I called the hospital to talk to him, and they told me he wasn’t working. I’d called his cell, and he didn’t pick up. When I asked him later that night where he was that day, he lied to me, telling me he worked a double.
I still haven’t decided if I’m going to confront him about it, but as I sit here stewing it over, I’m getting more and more upset. “Did you work today?” I snap as I cross my arms over my chest. He was sitting there in shorts and a t-shirt. Normally he didn’t make it out of his scrubs on work days.
“This morning, yes,” he nodded slowly. I couldn’t tell if he was being honest or not, but at the moment my anger didn’t care.
“Still sticking with that story, huh?” I narrowed my eyes before turning away from him. Kasey turned to look at me with a confused expression. I’m sure she was just as lost as he was. I hadn’t told her any of this. I hadn’t told anyone. One of my biggest faults was internalizing everything. I held it in until it erupted, and it looked like tonight might be an explosion of epic proportion.
“What’s going on with you today?” Kasey shoved at my side.
“Nothing,” I huffed before picking up the bottle on the table. It had just a tiny bit swishing around in the bottom and I intended to finish it.
“I think you’ve had enough,” Ryan scowled as he reached for it. I was so drunk at this point that my coordination sucked, and he was able to wrestle it away from me.
“You don’t get to do that!” I pushed up off the couch and glared at him.
“Tonight I do!” he stormed over to stand in front of me. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I intend to find out. We’re going to talk about this,” he grabbed my wrist and tugged me to his side. “Are you going to be ok alone here tonight?” he directed his gaze toward Kasey. She nodded before he began dragging me toward the door.
“Wait! I’m not going with you,” I tried to pull my wrist free, but he only tightened his grip.
“We’re going to talk. In private,” he growled before lifting me onto his shoulder.
“Put me down!” I pounded my fists into his lower back. He flinched at first, but soon pushed past whatever pain I was inflicting. He marched to where his Jeep was parked, causing me to bounce on his shoulder.
When we reached the Jeep, he tossed me into the passenger seat, “Sit,” he commanded. My belly fluttered as everything tightened. I’d only seen this side of him once and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to push his buttons to see it more.
“And if I don’t?” I smirked.
“You will. Now put your seatbelt on,” he pointed to the belt buckle before closing my door, and jogging around to his side.
“Where are we going?” I squeaked as he cranked the Jeep and pulled away from the curb.
“Somewhere private. You need to talk, and I’m gonna wait all night if that’s what it takes to get you to open up to me,” he mumbled.
“Says Fort Knox,” I muttered as the wind whipped through my hair. I don’t’ think he heard me, but I had no intention of telling him what he wanted to hear unless he was willing to do the same. Two could play this game.
Chapter 12
Ryan
I don’t know what’s going on with Rach tonight, but she is in a weird mood. She says she’s fine, but I’ve never seen her this drunk. I know the garage closing is the catalyst for whatever this is, I just wish I could figure out what the root is. She’s good at hiding things, but I am too. I think that’s why I’m drawn to her. She makes me want to figure shit out, and even though I’ve kept a lot from her I think deep down I want her to figure shit out too.
“Hey,” she’s leaning against the door, and I think she may have dozed off on our drive. “You awake?” We were back at the pond, the scene of our first date. I knew we wouldn’t be bothered here, and I wanted her to talk to me.
“I don’t feel so good,” she mumbled as her head slowly turned in my direction.
“I can imagine,” I sighed as I cut the engine and turned in my seat. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”
“Why?” she shrugged. “There’s nothing you can do about it.”
“I can listen,” I lowered my voice as I reached out to cup her face. The night air was warm, and small pieces of hair were stuck to her forehead. She shook her head no as she pulled away.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she murmured.
I leaned back in my seat and stared at the sky. I’d put the top down on the Jeep, and as I sat there I couldn’t help but try to see the beauty surrounding us. I did that more now; looked at my surroundings; tried to really get everything out of every situation. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left here on Earth and even though I was suffering alone, I wanted to get as much as I could out of life.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I murmured. I didn’t turn in her direction, but I could tell she was shifting to see what I was talking about. “Sometimes I just stare up at them and think about how small we are compared to what’s out there. We’re just tiny specks in all this space, and we’re expected to make a difference in the world.”
“You do make a difference,” she whispered as she reached over and placed her hand on top of mine. I knew she didn’t know what I was talking about, but it made me feel better to know that she was trying.
“Sometimes I don’t feel like I do,” I sighed. It had been a rough week, and I never really talked about work with Rachel. I usually unloaded my work problems on Jordan or Bryce. She didn’t say anything so I decided to try this with her. If I talked, maybe she would too. I mean, she’s drunk off her ass so I doubt she’ll remember much tomorrow.
“I have this patient. His name is Jamie. He’s been in and out of the hospital since he was four. He has leukemia. He beat it once, but six months ago it came back. The kid is only nine, but he fights like a grown man,” I blew out a
breath as I blinked a few times. I would not cry over this. Jamie and I talked yesterday, and he made me promise him that I wouldn’t cry over him. The kid is made of steel.
“Oh Ryan,” her head turned toward me and her eyes were glistening.
“He started a new treatment a little over two weeks ago and they found out yesterday that it’s not working. Nothing’s working,” I growled as I punched the steering wheel. I still remember the look on his mom’s face when she told me. She was trying to be brave for her son, but I could tell she was falling apart. I’d seen the act so many times in my career that I recognized it immediately. “The doctors say all they can do now is keep him comfortable,” I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. “That’s where I’ve been the last couple of times you’ve tried to call me. I’ve been spending time with him.” It’s the truth too. She may not believe me, but on the days I didn’t have dialysis I was with J. We played video games and laughed until they kicked me out of his room. He’s one of the few patients I’ve truly bonded with, and the thought of him not making it and me still being here is slowly killing me. Why him? Why not me? I’ve asked myself this a thousand times over the last week and I’m no closer to an answer now than I was then.
“How long?” Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted closer to me. She wrapped her arms around me the best she could before she placed her head on my chest.
“They don’t know. J’s a fighter. He’s been fighting for so long, and he’ll fight until the end. I know he will. His mom says they gave him a little over four months,” I let the words trail off as I looked back up at the sky. “Sometimes I wonder how a world can be so cruel to a kid.”
“I’m so sorry,” her face twisted like she was thinking of something else before she slowly shook it and snuggled into my chest farther. She yawned, and I hugged her tighter.
“Let’s go somewhere else where we can be more comfortable,” I murmured as I moved to start the Jeep again.
“Like where,” she cocked a brow at me.
“My place?” I tipped my head to the side as I watched her. She looked green and I wondered how long it was going to be before all the alcohol she’d consumed decided to wreak havoc on her.
“Sure,” she lurched as the word came out, and then I saw her scramble for the door. I guess now was the answer to my question. “Oh god,” she mumbled as the door popped open and she practically fell out. I watched as she scrambled a few feet away on her hands and knees before she started gagging. I rushed to get out, and to her side, but when I went to help her she pushed me away. “No,” she shook her head as she gagged more and her stomach emptied onto the grass.
“I’ve seen worse. Trust me,” I murmured as I gripped her hair and held it back out of her face. “This is an everyday occurrence for me, remember?” I soothed.
“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” she grumbled as I rubbed slow circles on her back.
“Well I think you should let me take care of you. You’re gonna feel a whole lot worse in the morning.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better either,” she panted as she used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth. “You suck at this, you know that?” she teased as I helped her stand.
“Well I’m all you’ve got at the moment. Come on. Let’s get you in bed,” I sighed as I helped her back into the Jeep. Our heavy conversation was forgotten as I buckled her seatbelt.
“I like the sound of that, although I may need to make out with a toothbrush before we get in said bed,” she laughed lightly. As I climbed in, I looked over at her. I couldn’t believe how fast she had switched gears on me. “What?” she blinked a few times. “Kasey promised me I was getting laid tonight.”
I shook my head as I pulled back out onto the road. I wasn’t sure how this night was going to play out, but Rachel seemed pretty determine. As we drove toward my place, I didn’t miss the way she’d glance over at me, and then down at my crotch. It was as if she was undressing me right there, and as much as I wanted to do what she did I hoped that my dick did too. He hadn’t been real cooperative lately thanks to the dialysis, and I hoped that he’d give me a break tonight.
Rachel
It didn’t take long to get to his place. I’d never been there, and I tried in my alcohol soaked brain to take it all in. I wanted to be able to find the place again. Since I was now staying with Kasey and who knew for how long, I knew that Ryan’s apartment was going to be our only source of privacy.
“Nice place,” I stared up at the brick townhouse. It seemed out of place for the town. It was newer and kinda in the middle of nowhere.
“It’s home,” he shrugged as he climbed from the Jeep. We were parked in a space right along the sidewalk that ran along front.
“Roommates?” I questioned as he helped me out. It seemed like a big place for just one person.
“Nope,” he shook his head. “Come on,” he wrapped his arm around me and helped me up the front steps. “You think you can stand while I unlock the door?”
“I’m not that drunk,” I swayed on my feet as I scolded him.
“Sure you’re not,” he shook his head as he dug his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. Once he got it open, he led me inside. It was dark with only the moonlight illuminating our path. He tossed his keys to the side before he leaned down and swooped me up into his arms.
“I can walk you know,” I giggled as he cradled me to his chest.
“This way is faster,” he smiled down at me as he strode to the stairs I’d missed. He took them two at a time, and when he reached the top he turned toward a door and kicked it open. He set me down, and flicked on a light. A beautiful spa like bathroom came into view. A huge soaker tub was in one corner and a shower big enough for two in the other. It had all those extra shower heads and my mind wandered, wondering what he did in here. “I’ll be right back,” he pressed a kiss to the side of my head before disappearing.
Within a few moments he was back. In one hand was a folded t-shirt and the other a towel. “I thought you might like a clean one,” he chuckled as he tossed the items on the counter by the sink.
He reached for the hem of my t-shirt and I scowled at him. “I can do that,” I brushed him away as I took a step back.
“I know you can,” he smiled as he reached for me again. “This is much better though.” I relented and let him slowly undress me. Once he’d gotten me naked, he began quickly tossing his clothes into the pile with mine. “Come on,” he tugged me toward the shower which was already warm. I hadn’t even noticed that he’d turned it on. “This’ll make you feel better. Promise,” he dragged his finger over his heart in a crossing motion.
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” I narrowed my eyes teasingly.
When we stepped into the warm water, I all but sagged against him. He was right. It felt like heaven. All of my troubles seemed to melt away as he soaped up a washcloth and began washing me. I closed my eyes and just let him work. His hands trailed lightly over me, not missing a single spot as my mind drifted. I’d never had a man take care of me like this before.
“If I knew you’d do this, I would have gotten trashed a long time ago,” I mumbled which soon turned into a moan as his fingers replaced the washcloth.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured as he tugged me against him. The soap made our bodies slick, and as he tightened his arms around my middle, I ground myself back against him.
“Can we move this to the bed,” I turned in his arms, and looked up at him. “It’s hard to stand.” I was tired, and I could tell he was too. Ryan always pushed himself past the point of exhaustion, and I knew he was reaching his limit for the day. He hid it well, but when I asked, I could see the relief in his eyes.
He nodded as he moved us under the spray to rinse the soap from our bodies. As soon as we were clean, he turned off the shower, and ushered us out onto the plush rug. He reached for the towel he’d brought me and proceeded to dry me off. I giggled lightly as he rubbed my body pausing only to
wrap a towel around his waist. When he finished, he grabbed the t-shirt he’d brought in and tugged it over my head. He guided me over to the sink, handed me a brand new toothbrush, and began combing the knots from my hair as I brushed my teeth. It didn’t even occur to me that he was prepared for this. I’d never stayed over, and he’d never invited me. Did he know that a night like this was inevitable?
As soon as we finished, he led me back into the hall and down to the end where a set of double doors was. He opened one that led into a beautiful master bedroom. A large bed sat opposite the door and various bedroom furniture was placed throughout the room. He walked me over to one side of the bed, pulled the covers back, and helped me in. After covering me up, he began to walk to the other side. His towel still hung around his waist and I couldn’t help but watch him. His muscular back flexed as he bent over to turn the light off.
“Aren’t you coming?” I pushed up on my elbows and watched as he headed back toward the bathroom.
“Yep,” he nodded as he removed the towel, tossed it in the bathroom, and strode back toward me. I could only see his shadowed figure in the hallway, but when he came closer I could tell he was still completely naked. “Had to get rid of the towel,” he smirked. He then proceeded to climb into bed without a stitch of clothing on.
“You sleep nude?” I squeaked. I had every intention of having sex with him, but I didn’t know if this was a game or what for him.
“Yeah, most nights,” he smirked as he covered up and rolled over toward me. “Now, where were we,” he groaned as his hand slid up my thigh, and parted my legs.
“I think we were…right about… yeah,” I moaned as his fingers sunk into me and his mouth connected to mine. My eyes rolled back in my head as Ryan worked me over long into the night.
Chapter 13
Beautiful Goodbye Page 9
