by Opal Carew
“Now that the sun’s gone down, it’s probably too cool for me.”
“It’s seventy-four degrees and the pool’s heated, so you’ll be fine. And there’s a hot tub if you do get cold.” He smiled. “Of course, if you’d rather cuddle up with me and watch a movie together, I’m sure I can keep you warm.”
The thought made her tremble. The heat of his gaze alone would do the trick. But the thought of being snuggled up beside him, his strong arm around her, holding her tight to his muscular body, made her knees weak.
“No, a swim will be fine.”
“Good.”
He pressed his hand to her lower back and guided her toward a hallway, then turned at a double doorway and she realized he was taking her into the master bedroom.
Her suitcase sat on a luggage rack by the window.
The room was open and airy, just like the rest of the house, with the high, sloped ceiling, windows on three sides of the room, and French doors leading out to the patio. The walls were painted a lovely soft aqua and there was a love seat and two armchairs in the same neutral tones as the rest of the furniture in the house, and a stone fireplace.
He opened a drawer in the dresser and pulled out a bathing suit in a floral fabric in vibrant pink tones and black, as well as a pair of trunks. He dropped them on the bed. The big, comfortable-looking, inviting bed.
Then he started unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’m not going to change in here with you.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself. You can wait until I’m finished.”
He shed his shirt and she found herself mesmerized by his rippling muscles as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it from the loops. Then she realized he was unzipping his pants.
She spun around, her heart pounding, only to meet his reflection in the mirror as he dropped his boxers to the floor. Oh, God, the sight of his heavy cock hanging between his legs made her ache inside. To feel it in her hand. To stroke it and feel it rise up.
Before she could turn her head away, he pulled up his trunks, then walked to the French doors leading outside.
“I’ll take towels out with me. Don’t take too long, or I’ll come back in for you.”
Once he closed the doors, she picked up the bathing suit. It was actually a two-piece, and it was pretty tiny.
She walked to the en suite bathroom. When she stepped inside, she paused. It was huge, with a sleek freestanding tub and a large open shower. The floor and walls were done with tiny tiles, but a long area carpet defined a path from the doorway she stood in to yet another set of French doors leading outside. There was even a large oval ottoman that looked luxuriously comfortable near the bathtub. She could imagine sitting in the tub, bubbles all around her, while Liam sat on that ottoman and read to her.
Of course, it would be much more likely he’d climb into the tub with her and wash her back, then other parts of her body, his large hands gliding over her wet skin.
She sucked in a breath, pushing the thought from her head, and dropped the bathing suit on the ottoman, then stripped off her clothes. She pulled on the bikini bottoms, then the tiny top. It cupped her breasts and lifted them high. When she glanced in the mirror and saw how little the bathing suit covered, she shivered at the thought of going out like this.
It wasn’t like Liam hadn’t seen her in less, but she was trying to keep him at a distance.
She wasn’t going to back out of the swim, though. When she walked to the bedroom again and spotted the button-down shirt Liam had been wearing, she picked it up and pulled it on. It draped over her, covering her to mid-thigh.
Now she didn’t feel quite so naked.
When she breathed in, she could smell his musky male scent. She wrapped her arms around herself, imagining being enveloped in his arms.
Maybe she didn’t feel naked, but she did feel vulnerable. And needy. She wished she could just surrender to her desire for him. Let herself sink into his embrace and give herself to him.
She shook away those thoughts and walked to the French doors Liam had exited through and stepped out into the night. She walked past the cushioned patio furniture, following the stone patio around the corner of the house.
Liam sat by a swimming pool with a lovely curved shape. There was a small waterfall on one side, the trickling water glowing under a soft light. In fact, the whole pool was aglow.
Liam stood up as she approached. The sight of his broad, muscular chest and his tight, sculpted abs took her breath away.
“Here, let me help you with that,” he said as he rested his hands on her shoulders, then drew the shirt down her arms.
Her first urge was to protest, but he slipped it all the way off and tossed it on a nearby lounge chair, leaving her practically naked in front of him.
“Mmm. I knew that suit would look great on you.” His warm, appreciative tone sent shivers through her.
“You’re cold.” He ran his hands down her arms, over the waves of goose bumps, and heat washed through her.
“Maybe we should go in the water now,” she said, her voice a little hoarse.
He smiled and took her hand. The feel of his fingers around hers was familiar and comforting, but at the same time it made her want things she shouldn’t.
He led her to the concrete steps and drew her into the pool with him. The water was delightfully warm and soon she was up to her waist.
She drew her hand from his and swam to the deep end. When she reached the walk-out steps, she sat on the bottom one, up to her waist in water, and gazed around. The moonlight glittered on the lake.
A moment later, Liam’s head broke the surface of the water next to her and he treaded water.
“It’s a great view, isn’t it?” Liam said.
“It is. You picked a lovely spot.”
“When we’re together again, we can come here as often as you like. Or move in and live here all the time, like I’d intended when I bought it.”
“We aren’t going to be together, Liam.”
“You’re not really keeping an open mind about this.” He moved closer and grasped the side of the pool right beside her, then slid his arm around her waist.
“Liam…”
“Come on, kitten,” he murmured, stroking the wet hair behind her ear, his touch singeing her senses. “At least give me a chance to convince you.”
“I—”
But his lips captured hers before she’d realized his intent. He pulled her tight to his body, his mouth moving on hers. His tongue nudged her lips then dove inside.
His body was warm and hard against hers and she shivered. It was so good being this close to him. Melting against him as he kissed her with his sensuous lips.
But she couldn’t allow it.
She pressed her hand flat to his chest and pushed, but with his arm around her, it did no good. Finally, she tore her lips from his.
“No, Liam,” she ground out. “Let me go.”
His arm loosened around her and she scurried to her feet and fled up the steps of the pool. He pushed himself up, water sluicing from his body, and followed her.
“Wait, Abi. Don’t go in yet. Let’s go in the hot tub. It’ll relax you.”
He caught her arm and slowed her fast pace to the door.
“You know how much you love it. And I set the temperature at a hundred because I know you prefer it not too hot.”
She let him guide her to the sunken tub a few yards away and she lowered herself into the water. He turned on the bubbles and settled in beside her.
She sat tensely on the edge of the seat, wondering if he was going to try something again, but he settled back and rested his head against the built-in cushion. The rush of the water and bubbles over her body felt wonderful and she soon sank into the seat to enjoy it.
“I remember how much you used to love coming to my apartment when we first started dating and going in the hot tub. So much so that I had to coax you out of it so you wouldn’t overheat. And then you were so disappointed when you were pregnant
and…”
He paused, his gaze flickering to her. Neither of them liked to talk about the pregnancy. To remind each other of what they’d lost.
“… the doctor advised against going in the hot water,” he continued.
Oh, God, what am I doing? I shouldn’t be in here.
She jerked to her feet and moved to the steps.
“I’m sorry, Abi.” Liam stood up. “I didn’t mean to—”
“No, I just want to go inside.”
He wrapped his hands around her waist to steady her as she moved up the steps, then followed her as she fled toward the doors. He caught her arm.
“Here, use this door,” he said, as he drew her to a closer one.
He pulled open the door and she realized it led to the large en suite bathroom. She stepped inside.
“You’re shivering.”
Goose bumps danced across her skin and her teeth chattered, though how much from being cold and how much was anxiety she wasn’t sure.
“Here.” He drew her toward the shower and turned on the water, adjusting the temperature.
He gestured her toward it, but she shook her head.
“I’m not getting naked with you here.”
“So don’t.”
He pressed her under the water and the warmth of it flowing over her skin was wonderful. He stepped under the water behind her and held her against his body.
“It’s okay,” he said before she had a chance to protest. “I just want to warm you up.”
After a moment, her shivering subsided as the water and the heat of his body warmed her. She should pull away, but it was so comforting being held by him like this.
“Baby, I’m sorry I reminded you of the pregnancy, but maybe it would help if we actually talked about it.”
“No,” she blurted. “I mean … that’s not what it was about.”
Oh, God, how did she explain why she had actually fled from the tub?
Then sheer panic flooded through her as she felt tears well from her eyes. This was no time for a show of irrational emotion.
She thrust her hands under the water and wiped them across her face to camouflage the tears with fresh water, but she was afraid he’d already seen them.
“Abi, are you okay?”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Abi nodded. “I’m just stressed. Being here is stressful for me.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I know this is a difficult situation for you. But right now, let the water relax you.”
But she couldn’t relax. Not with him so close like this. Not with her hormones spiking the way they were.
“I’m done,” she said. “I want to get dressed now.”
“All right.”
He guided her from the water, then grabbed a large, fluffy towel and wrapped it around her torso. Before she knew what was happening, his fingers had slid under the towel and he’d unfastened the hook of her bikini top and was pulling the halter strap over her head. Then he eased the top from under the towel, leaving her breasts naked under the thick fabric.
He turned and retrieved a robe from a nearby cupboard and wrapped it around her.
“Slide your arms in.”
The fabric was thick and soft. She slid her arms into the sleeves and he wrapped it around her.
“Now drop the towel and the rest of your bathing suit to the floor. You don’t need to get dressed. This’ll keep you warm and cozy.”
Her back was turned to him, so she dropped the towel and tied the robe snugly around her waist. Then she shimmied the wet bathing suit bottom down from under the fabric. Liam grabbed another robe, then while facing the cupboard, dropped his trunks to the floor, revealing his muscular ass.
Oh, God, it was as hard and firm as she remembered. She would love to run her fingers over it, then cup it in her hands.
He pulled on the robe and turned around, tying the sash.
He smiled. “A little better now?”
She pulled the robe tighter. “Yes, thank you.”
“Good. Now let’s go and talk.”
* * *
Liam held her hand as he led her into the living room, then sat her down on the couch beside him.
“Abi, every time we talk about this, we wind up going around in circles, but this time I’d like you to be open to hearing what I have to say. I know you don’t believe I love you, but”—he squeezed her hand—“I really do.”
She drew back her hand back and rested it on her knee, not wanting to feel the warmth of his fingers around hers any longer. Not wanting to be affected by the gentleness of his touch.
“I know you’ve convinced yourself of that,” she said, “but you asked me to marry you because of the baby.”
“That may have triggered it, but I was already in love with you.”
She shook her head. “We hadn’t been going out that long.” She gazed into his solemn brown eyes. “And you’re a good man, Liam. You wanted to do the right thing and you felt that was to marry me. I’m sure you wanted to love me. You wanted us to be a family. But once I lost the baby…”
She sucked in a deep breath, the pain duller than it used to be, but still intense.
“I think you were clinging to what we might have had,” she said. “The family you always wanted to be a part of.”
He took her hand again and drew it to his mouth. The brush of his lips made her heart flutter.
“Can you honestly tell me you don’t love me?” he asked, his deep voice melting through her. “Because no matter how short the time we had together before we found out you were pregnant, I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me.”
He tucked his fingers under her chin and lifted, gazing deeply into her eyes.
“I can see it there now.”
She turned her head, pulling from his tender grip, unable to look into those intense brown eyes any longer.
“I thought I was.” She still did, but she couldn’t admit that to him. Not if she wanted any chance at getting her divorce. “But when you pulled away … when you left me thrashing for a lifeline in the depths of my sorrow for so long, I had to face the fact that if we were really in love, you would have been there for me. That somehow, we would have found a way to make it work.” She gazed at him again, her heart aching. “I tried for over a year, but…” She shook her head. “It did no good.”
“Baby, you’ve got to understand how painful it was for me. I didn’t know how to deal with it. It was an intense blow right to the gut.” His voice grew quiet. “It was like losing my parents all over again. Like when I’d been left all alone.”
“But you weren’t alone this time. I was there with you. We could have shared the pain.”
He drew in a deep, ragged breath and her heart ached at the depth of pain in his eyes.
She rested her hand on his cheek, drawn into the gut-wrenching sorrow in those depths, and the moment his gaze locked on her again, she felt herself falling. Deeper into the mesmerizing emotional chaos.
“Abi…” His voice was wracked with pain and need rumbled through her. Then his mouth found hers and the tender brush of their lips touched something deep in her soul.
She leaned into the kiss. Wanting to be closer. Wanting to help soothe his pain.
Needing to feel what they used to share.
Her heart swelled, because no matter what, she’d never stopped loving this man.
His arms swept around her and he held her close, his lips still moving on hers. She felt cocooned in his warmth. Swept away to a sweet, intimate place. She melted against him with a soft murmur.
His tongue glided past her lips and stroked inside. She sighed into the kiss. The ache pulsing from deep within expanded to a need so intense she felt her will slipping away.
“Oh, baby, I love you so much. I want us to be together.” Then he took her lips again.
Oh, God, so did she.
Her heart pounded. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t lose herself in an emotional riptide that could leave her empty and lost. If she l
ost this baby … If he abandoned her again …
A wash of agony swept through her.
She flattened her hand on his chest and pressed.
“No, Liam.”
She slid a few inches away, putting a little distance between them.
“I’m sorry. I know how hard it was for you,” she said. “And I want you to know I’m not blaming you. But the simple fact is that … in that desperate, painful time … being together wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”
His expression tightened.
“The fact that you pulled away … when I needed you so desperately … I…” She shook her head, fighting back tears. Remembering the agony of being shut out by him. “I know that I can never be safe with you. Emotionally.”
Shock washed across his features.
“Abi … that’s not true.”
“It is true. You abandoned me. Left me to suffer alone. I needed you and you weren’t there for me.”
* * *
The pain in Abi’s eyes tore at Liam’s heart. He’d been wrapped up in his own pain back then. Grieving the loss of the baby. Of being a father.
Of losing his family when he was only five years old.
He’d been alone for so long. Until he’d met Abi. She’d made him feel whole again.
And when he’d found out she was pregnant, he had been thrilled. He would finally have his own family. A set of three people—and hopefully more in the future—who loved each other unconditionally. Who cared about each other above all else.
When Abi lost the baby … all those dreams had been torn from him.
Not only that one child, but any children. Abi could no longer have children, so that dream of a family had been stolen from him forever.
But in wallowing in that desperate pain … somewhere along the way he’d lost Abi, too.
There was nothing he could say … nothing he could do … to make up for that.
She stood up. “Where’s my room?”
His hope of her staying in his bedroom was shattered. He stood up and led her to the room beside his.
“I’ll bring your suitcase,” he said, as he opened the door to her bedroom.
