"Now? But it's the middle of the day…"
"Now." He slid the first button free and moved on to the next until the shirt parted.
"I don't—" The words caught in her throat as he touched one nipple through the lace of her bra. Before the sensation had dissipated, he unhooked her bra and freed her breasts.
Panic zipped through her and she took a deep breath. Calm down. It's not as if you're entirely naked. You've still got your shirt, even if it isn't buttoned, and your skirt still covers the widest parts.
A zippp echoed through the room and the skirt fell to her ankles. Her slip followed until she stood wearing nothing but her panties.
"Now," he murmured, his fingers hooking the edge of her underwear.
She caught his hand. "You – you can't." Her reaction was silly, she knew. She'd been intimate with him more times than she could count over the past week, but suddenly she felt as frightened as a bride on her wedding night. For all their lovemaking, they'd never done anything in the bright light of day.
"Why not?" He shrugged free of her grip and pushed the panties down just an inch.
"Don't do that. Please don't do that."
His hands stilled at her last request, his touch burning into her hips, scorching her bare flesh. "I – I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I really can't. And I can't do this," she pleaded
"Why?"
It was a simple question, yet the answer was so complicated. Years of feeling inadequate, of hiding beneath oversized jeans and baggy shirts, of cowering in the dark under the covers and praying that her husband could pretend for even a little while that she was the woman he wanted her to be, caught up to her and sent a swirl of dread through her.
"I just can't."
"You can."
"I don't want to."
"That's not true." He let go of her panties to trail his hands up her sides, under the edges of her open shirt to cup her breasts. His fingers plucked at her nipples and the tips ripened, reached out and begged for more. "Your body wants to. It's your mind, your fear that's holding you back. Let it go. Just forget everything except what I'm doing to you."
The deep, huskiness of his voice lulled her and she closed her eyes, pushing away the fear and the insecurity until the only thing she was conscious of was the warmth of his palms on the undersides of her breasts, the rasp of his thumbs on her nipples, the whisper of his breath at her temple.
"That's it," he murmured as he lifted her onto the refreshment table. Silk slid over her flesh as her panties became history and Jack positioned himself between her legs.
Cool air slid over her flesh as he parted her shirt and started to push it down her shoulders. Her eyes opened and she caught the edges at her elbows, desperately holding the material together with her bent arms. "Please. I don't want you to see me."
"Is that what you're afraid of? That I'll see you?"
"That you won't like what you see. That you'll be turned off. That you'll turn away."
"Ah, baby," he said, cupping her face in his hands, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones. "I could never turn away from you. Never."
The word, filled with such sincerity, sent a warmth rushing through her body. At the same, time, a niggling doubt hit her. Something was wrong. Jack wasn't the type to say such things. He was a wanderer, a man who didn't know the meaning of never turning away.
She wanted to ask him about it, but then he pushed her back, leaned over her and blotted out the bright fluorescent lights with his hard, powerful body. Her panic eased and she gave in to the insistent throb of her nipples, eager for more of what he promised with his rasping touch.
He parted her legs, his hands sliding over the soft skin of her thighs. Sliding his hands under her buttocks, he drew her to him until her bottom lay at the edge of the table. He spread her legs wider and then he touched the heat between her legs, his fingers probing, sliding into the drenched flesh in a dizzying friction that took her breath away.
Suddenly, need took precedence over a lifetime of insecurity and she let go of the edges of her shirt. It slid free and she reached for him, pulling him close.
A quick tug at his zipper, a slide of a button and he sprang into her hands. A frantic moment later, he plunged deep, deep inside, filling her, completing her.
Her back met the table as she lay back down, her legs locked around his waist. She waited to feel him embrace her and start to move inside her, but it didn't happen.
Her eyelids fluttered open to find him staring down at her as intently as if he could see straight through her. She was completely exposed to him, vulnerable, afraid. His gaze swept the length of her, leaving nothing untouched by his visual caress. Finally, his gaze met hers and he whispered the phrase that erased years of hurt and filled her with a joy unlike anything she'd ever felt before.
"You're perfect."
But more than hearing the words, Paige actually believed them. With Jack Mission staring at her so intently, filling her so fully, she truly felt perfect.
A fleeting feeling, she knew. Jack was leaving in a few days, moving on to the next town, the next woman.
Thankfully.
Jack was dangerous to her peace of mind. He made her want more than the moment. But she could never have more with a man like Jack. She wouldn't risk it.
More was out of the question, but this … ah, this she could allow herself. For a little while, anyway.
* * *
Chapter 10
«^»
"What do you mean you're not leaving?" Paige stood in the kitchen of the Mission Ranch three days later and tried to absorb the news Jack had just given her.
"I'm not leaving," he repeated. He leaned against the sink, a cup of coffee in his hands, a pleased expression on his face. "As in I'm staying."
"I know what not leaving means." She just didn't quite understand what it meant in regards to Jack. "But Deb and Jimmy are coming back this afternoon. This is supposed to be your last day." She held up the farewell cake she'd baked for him last night. "I even made a double fudge to honor the occasion."
And to ease the ache that had plagued her since she'd spent her very last night in Jack Mission's arms. An overwhelming feeling of loss had settled in the pit of her stomach and stayed with her, throughout a morning spent at the newspaper office and the drive all the way out to the ranch.
She hadn't expected to feel so empty at the thought of him leaving, so sad. But she did.
She had.
He wasn't leaving.
"You're staying?" she repeated, still trying to digest the news. "But you're not supposed to stay. You've got a job waiting for you in Santa Fe."
"I've already put in a call to this trainer I know. He's a floater like me." A determined light lit his eyes. "Like I used to be. He'll be glad to take the position until something more permanent comes up."
She shook her head and tried to quell the rush of joy that went through her at the prospect of having Jack Mission stay in Inspiration. "I don't understand. I thought you didn't want to settle down."
"I'm already settled, darlin'. Right here. This is my home. This is where my roots are. And this is where I'm staying."
"But…" Why? was on the tip of her tongue, but the only thing that stumbled past her lips was a confused, "You can't." Despite the joy, she felt a rush of apprehension and fear.
Because as much as she didn't want to believe it, Paige knew that deep, down inside, she was falling for Jack Mission.
Falling, but not fallen. Not yet.
Not ever, she promised herself. Not for a man like Jack. He was a love-'em-and-leave-'em type of guy. Temporary.
And he was staying.
It didn't matter. His location didn't change who he was deep inside. He wasn't the forever sort. He was like Woodrow – handsome and sexy and Paige wouldn't let herself fall for such a man again.
"You can't," she repeated. Her only salvation when she'd admitted her feelings to herself that morning had been the fact that Jack was leaving. Out of sig
ht, out of mind. That's what she'd told herself, but now… "You just can't."
"I can," he said coming up to her. He reached past her and fingered the chocolate fudge frosting on the cake she'd baked. Dipping the chocolate in his mouth, he sucked his finger. "This is good."
"Thanks. I still don't see why you changed your—"
"Want to try some?" He reached for another dollop.
"You're changing the subject."
"I'm not changing anything. The subject is closed. I'm staying right here."
She forced her heart to calm down long enough for her to draw air into her lungs. Okay, he was staying. So what? Sure, she was liable to glimpse him around town every now and then, but she could handle it. She was strong. She was in control. And she hadn't completely fallen for Jack Mission.
If he wanted to stay, it was his business because their arrangement was over. A done deal.
She ignored the sudden ache that gripped her as she watched him suckle the second dollop of chocolate from his fingertip and reached into her purse for the envelope she'd picked up at the bank.
"What's this?"
"The last order of business. Jimmy and Deb get back this afternoon, so our lessons are over."
"Darlin', we need to—"
"I appreciate everything. Thanks." She placed the envelope next to the cake and then she did the only thing she could do, with Jack standing there looking so handsome and sexy and irresistible with a speck of chocolate at the corner of his mouth and a hungry light in his eyes. Paige turned and ran for her life.
Staying or not, Jack Mission still wasn't the type of man Paige needed, a man who made her feel safe, secure, comfortable. A man who didn't have a history of running at the first sign of trouble.
A man the complete opposite of her ex-husband.
While Jack was different from Woodrow in many ways, he was also too much like him for Paige's peace of mind. She couldn't, wouldn't spend the rest of her life worrying and wondering if Jack would wake up one day and decide that she truly wasn't woman enough for him.
Not that Jack had mentioned anything about a continuing relationship. He hadn't said a word about commitment. He'd simply relayed his news.
He was staying.
The knowledge stayed with her and haunted her the rest of the afternoon as she tried to forget Jack Mission and get on with the rest of her life. The sad thing was, when Paige tried to picture tomorrow, all she could see was Jack's face.
Ugh, forget falling. She'd fallen, hook, line and sinker.
Not that it made a difference.
Jack Mission wasn't now, nor would he ever be the man for her.
* * *
"Say that again," Jimmy told his brother that evening as he sat in the dining room at the Mission Ranch and loaded his plate with Nell's fried chicken. He and Deb had arrived less than an hour ago, suntanned and smiling and looking so happy that Jack felt a pang of envy.
It was crazy how things had changed. Less than two weeks ago, the sight would have sent him running. Now he couldn't help but want the same.
"I said I'm staying on here at the ranch. Since you and Deb are living at the cabin and mom's off with Redd on the senior rodeo tour, the place could use a live-in Mission to look after things."
"For how long?" Deb asked from the other side of the table.
"Permanently."
The word hung in the air for several long seconds before Jimmy finally shook his head and laughed. "If I didn't know better, I'd say I just heard the word 'permanent' come out of your mouth."
"That's what I said."
Confusion knitted Jimmy's brow. "You're kidding, right? Playing a practical joke?"
"It's no joke. I'm staying on here. I'll take care of all the horses – everything from the breeding to the breaking – and Wayne will stay on as foreman to oversee the cattle. I'd like to get into breeding horses on a commercial basis Molly's an awful pretty filly and she'll make some fine colts."
"You are serious."
"I said I was serious."
Jimmy's fork clattered to the table as he narrowed his eyes and stared at his little brother. "What the hell happened to you while we were gone?"
"Honey, I think the question is who the hell happened to you while we were gone?" Deb turned a knowing smile on Jack. "What's her name?"
"Paige." The name wiped the expression from Deb's face. Her eyes widened.
"My Paige?"
"Actually, she's my Paige," he said with all the confidence of a man completely and totally in love. "Or she will be."
"Does that mean you have or haven't told her how you feel and she has or hasn't been accepting?"
"Well, I was going to tell her, but—"
"You have to tell her," Deb told him. "You have to tell her now."
But Jack intended to go one better. As stubborn as Paige was, he knew he would have to do more than simply say the words. He would have to show her, to prove to her that he didn't want to own her or control her or take charge of her life. He wanted her to make her own decisions, to be her own person.
The person he loved.
Now and forever.
* * *
"It's good to be back."
Paige glanced up as Deb walked by carrying the latest in her designer bitch mugs which she'd picked up on her honeymoon. She took a long sip of her steaming black coffee, leaving bright red lipstick prints on the pink ceramic mug with Bitchiest Bride in Aruba printed in neon pink letters on the outside.
"I missed this place."
"We missed you," Dolores said. "Wally almost killed us."
"It wasn't me," Wally said as he walked by, still bundled in a sweater, a ball of tissue in one hand. "It was that damned air conditioner."
"The electrician said you broke the thermostat," Deb told him.
"I did no such thing. I was trying to survive."
"Try surviving downstairs with the printing press. It's acting up again."
"You're a slave driver, you know that?"
Deb grinned and handed him a cough drop. "And proud of it." She caught Wally before he headed downstairs. "See the doc just as soon as you finish."
"I don't need to see a doctor," he said in typical man fashion. "I'll be fine. I'll—"
"See the doctor and that's an order. And then go home and go straight to bed. Alone," she added, eyeing the pile of candy bars sitting on the edge of his desk, courtesy of Paige's latest Fun Fact … Sneak Up on Him with a Snickers.
Hey, it wasn't Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but Paige was still new to the whole Fun Fact business.
"I'm not going home to bed. I've got an article due—"
"I'll finish it up and you will go home to bed, or I'll stick bamboo shoots underneath your fingernails and force feed you every one of those candy bars." She looked at Paige. "So I'm a slave driver with a heart," Deb said after Wally muttered a grudging "Okay," and disappeared down the stairs. "Besides," she told Paige who stared knowingly at her, "I can't very well have him here infecting my entire staff. It's purely a business decision."
"Sure." Deb was what Wally termed an "Eskimo Pie." She liked to talk tough on the outside, but inside she was soft and nice and she'd been Paige's first friend at a time when she'd really needed one. She still was.
"So," Deb said once she'd settled at her desk and taken another sip of her coffee. "I hear you and Jack got a little friendly while we were gone."
"We, um, did spend some time together." Her brain searched for a plausible explanation as she wondered exactly how much Deb knew. Had Jack told her?
No, he wouldn't do that. He wasn't a man to kiss and tell, and he certainly wouldn't confess all to his new sister-in-law. He and Deb hardly knew each other.
Then again, the woman had ways… Paige contemplated the notion for several seconds before completely dismissing it. Ways or not, Jack wasn't a man to be cornered into telling anything by anyone. Deb had probably heard rumors about them being seen around town, Paige figured after a few silent seconds when Deb didn't pr
ess the issue. Deb wasn't one to beat around the bush. She was a straight shooter and if she had known the extent of their relationship, she would have come out and ask for a progress report, or at least shouted some encouragement. "He was, um, helping me with one of my classes," Paige continued, salving her conscious over lying to her friend.
"Which one?"
"A new one. I just started. Say, I've really got to get going. I'm covering the ladies' auxiliary luncheon in a half hour."
"That's Dolores's job."
"She's at the hair salon. Ida Joe found out that her husband was sleeping with his secretary over at the construction site. But that's not all. It seems his secretary is doing one better and sleeping with her other boss, who slept with Ida Joe's niece last year at the Christmas party."
"Sounds complicated."
"It is. They're having an emergency perm and color session over at the Cut-n-Curl to discuss everything and see if they've left anyone out of the sleeping circle."
"So are you going to see Jack again?" Deb asked a split second before Paige walked out the door.
"I don't think—"
"Yes." Jack's deep voice cut into her thoughts and she turned to find him standing in the doorway barely a few inches from her. He wore black jeans, a motorcycle T-shirt and a leather vest. He looked the typical free spirit that he was.
That he used to be.
He was staying.
"I – I'm busy," she blurted, fear and panic whirling into a dangerous mix. "I'm on my way to the recreation center."
"I'll drive you."
Before she could protest, he took her hand, his fingers twining with hers, and led her out the door.
* * *
"This isn't the recreation center." Paige stared at the boarded-up building that sat in the middle of downtown just a few blocks from city hall. It used to be an insurance agency that had been converted into a bed and breakfast a few years back. Had eventually gone out of business when the Wallabys had renovated their ranch house as a resort Gray paint curled and peeled in several spots. Boards blocked most of the windows.
But it wasn't the decaying building that caught her eye. It was the shiny new sign hanging from a chain on the front porch. Paige's House.
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