“I hope you’re not contemplating pushing me over the edge,” Kyle teased, leading me away from the cliff toward a cluster of boulders where we both sat down. He slipped the backpack off and placed it next to him.
“The day’s not over.” I smiled cynically, looking back toward the falls. “We’ll see how things go.”
He slid his hand along my knee, and my body immediately responded to his touch. I wanted to pretend something as simple as his touch did nothing to me, but I wasn’t going to lie to myself. Rather, I’d recognize the problem and figure out a quick resolution, which was to never see him again.
Kyle’s blue eyes darkened and he let out a deep sigh. “Listen, there’s no excuse for not figuring out a way to reach out to you.”
“No, there’s not,” I agreed. “Even if you didn’t plan on coming back to Colorado, it would have been the decent thing to do.”
“I know, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.” His eyes were stirring with such turbulent emotions I felt like we were connected to the nature surrounding us. I was being pulled to him at the same time I was pushing myself away. He knew I wanted to dart, but his gaze kept me still.
“Earlier, you said you wouldn’t change anything about the past,” I said softly.
His eyes stayed locked on mine, and I saw the fire behind his expression, the determination. My body unwillingly responded and he caught that. I could see it in his eyes.
“I wasn’t referring to not reaching out, Brooke. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t wish I had somehow gotten a hold of you.”
“Then why didn’t you?” I pressed my lips together.
“When I got home that summer, there were two weeks left before school started…”
I nodded for him to continue.
“My brothers knew what you and I had done on the last camping trip, and they were teasing me endlessly the moment we stepped off the plane.” He shrugged. “That didn’t bother me at all. That’s just what brothers do, but I couldn’t wait to get home and call you.” I felt his grip tighten on my knee and my heart began racing.
“When my dad pulled up to the curb, and we began piling our suitcases into the car, he overheard one of my brothers ribbing me.” His gaze turned steely with determination and anger.
“The entire ride home turned silent with my father questioning me over and over again about what happened. I wouldn’t answer him. I knew you didn’t want your parents to find out, so I thought my silence would be enough.”
My heart ached as he relived the details, but I knew the worst was yet to come.
“The silence only angered my father more. When we got home, he didn’t speak to me. He sent me straight to my bedroom, grounded me, and spent the rest of the afternoon on the phone. I thought he was calling your parents or the Harlens. I had no idea. I just didn’t want you to be mad at me. My brothers felt horrible. I mean we’d never seen my dad that angry.
“When my dad finally reappeared in my bedroom, he told me to pack a suitcase and then he drove me to the airport.”
“Where did he send you?” I was in complete shock. “Why was he so angry?”
“He sent me to military school.”
“Your senior year… and he sent you to military school?”
Kyle nodded and let a frustrated groan. “It was so out of character for him, and I think if I hadn’t been so shocked, I would have gone after him or I don’t even know what. I was a big kid. If I’d been thinking straight, I would’ve done something. Run to my grandparents. I don’t even know.” He shook his head in frustration.
“What did your mom say?”
“She was beside herself.” He raked his hand through his hair and glanced toward the rushing water, and I knew there was more. “Where he sent me was the equivalent of juvie or something. My parents had to approve the list of people I could have contact with. My father allowed absolutely no one other than himself on the list. Not even my brothers or my mom.”
“Why would he be so cruel about teenagers fooling around?”
“In hindsight, his actions had nothing to do with you and me. It all made sense when we found out my father was cheating on my mom. He had been for years, and she’d just found out.”
“He was punishing you for his jackass ways,” I said softly. “Diverting attention.” I blew out a sigh and felt the familiar numbness roll over me. “Your poor mom.”
“Even though I’m telling you all this, I don’t expect what I’m about to tell you to be forgivable or easy to hear.” His voice was low and gruff, and my entire body went rigid with apprehension.
“Okay.” I nodded, keeping my face expressionless.
“When I heard that my dad was leaving us for his mistress I went nuts. He wanted me to come home for the holidays for one last family Christmas and I went crazy, refusing to come home. By that time, he’d turned me into what he thought I was. I was surrounded by kids who had real attitude problems, and I was becoming one of them, but the thought of seeing my father after he ripped me from everything I knew for no real fault of my own…” his voice trailed off and nausea formed in the pit of my stomach.
I put my hand on top of his and squeezed it.
“Now that I’m older, I can look back and think about how I would do things differently or how I could have manipulated situations to go home, but at the time, I was so angry that all I cared about was getting back at my dad. I was a star cadet, but whenever I had a chance to cause a problem I did.”
The Kyle he was describing sounded nothing like the one I’d fallen in love with, and it hurt to hear him describing himself. I doubted anything he did was as rebellious as he wanted to believe.
“I’m so sorry.” I shook my head.
“You’re not the one that needs to be sorry, Brooke.” He drew in a breath but continued. “We had a spring formal for all the graduating cadets where curfew was set at midnight. It was with a female boarding school about thirty miles away.”
My stomach clenched, and I shook my head, not wanting to hear any more.
“Brooke, I have to tell you.”
Even the roaring of the falls fell silent as my gaze dropped to Kyle’s mouth as I dreaded the words that were about to come out. It felt like I’d been suddenly transported to high school all over again. It didn’t matter what I’d accomplished, who I’d dated in my past, all that mattered was what was about to come out of his mouth.
“I have a daughter.” My gaze flashed to his, and I saw his eyes light up instantly at her mention. “She’s fifteen, almost sixteen. Her name is Abigail, and she lives in Idaho with her mother and stepdad. That’s where I was last week.”
I sat in shocked silence, unsure of why this never occurred to me as a possibility. I broke my gaze from his and stared at the endless gush of water.
Kyle has a daughter.
“We have shared custody, and since my work can be from just about anywhere, I have a condo over there and go over when it’s my turn so I don’t screw up her life. High school can be rough as it is.”
I turned my gaze back to his.
“You have a daughter.” I couldn’t help but smile. “And those were her clothes I borrowed for snowshoeing?”
He nodded, looking somewhat relieved that I wasn’t trying to haul him over the edge.
“So you’re not a serial killer?” I playfully swept my hand over my forehead.
A glint of mischief dashed through his gaze and I drew a deep breath, feeling the emotions rush over me, but all I could do was hang on to humorous and superficial comments.
Every mean thought that popped into my head over Kyle North seemed so insignificant. He was busy raising another human being. I’d missed out on such a big part of his life.
“So when I said I was protecting you, it was more your feelings. I thought hearing the first guy you slept with, who you hadn’t heard from since it happened, got someone else pregnant wouldn’t exactly be a confidence booster.”
I let out such a deep laugh that I
was sure some of the birds flew away.
“You were probably wise in that assumption.” I shook my head. “Wow. You have a daughter who’s about to be driving and—”
“She’s not allowed to leave the house. Her stepdad and I have that all worked out already.” Kyle laughed softly, his shoulders slightly relaxing.
“So you get along well with her mom and stepdad?”
He nodded. “Her mom and I knew we weren’t destined to be together. We got together out of pure teenage rebellion and never imagined it would be something more.”
It wasn’t like I didn’t expect him to be with lots of other women over the years. All I had to do was look at him and know females were lining up out the door for him, but knowing about the intent and rational behind something that was so life-altering was utterly gutting. We didn’t drift apart. We were torn apart, but something miraculous came from it.
“You’re not saying much?”
“I’m internalizing.” I nodded. “I tend to go radio silent in moments like these.”
“You’ve had others?” His brow arched, and I chuckled, feeling the weight of the world finally begin to lift.
“Not quite like this. No.”
I saw a squirrel hop in front of us and beg for whatever was in our backpack. He was obviously a squirrel familiar with hikers.
“Look, it’s Fievel.” I pointed at the squirrel, holding its paws up, and Kyle’s expression softened, the rawness and pain slowly vanishing from his eyes.
“We’re not supposed to feed wild animals.” His eyes full of the playfulness I remembered from so long ago.
“I know, but he’s already batting his lashes at you.”
“How do you know it’s not a she with that move?”
“Because we named it Fievel.”
“You named it Fievel, and that doesn’t mean he can’t be a she.” Kyle was unzipping his backpack, and I swore Fievel winked at me. “I just happen to have some unsalted peanuts in the shell.”
I cocked my head, raising my brows. “Really? The man who says we shouldn’t feed wildlife?”
He handed me a couple whole peanuts, and I lowered my fingers down to the squirrel, hoping we wouldn’t need to find the nearest emergency room.
Fievel quickly grabbed the peanut and took off up the trail, and I put the other one next to me on the boulder.
“I have a confession,” Kyle said, zipping his backpack up.
“Oh, no. I’m not sure I can handle many more today.” I grinned, and a flicker of relief darted through his eyes.
“Whenever I go hiking, I carry a bag of peanuts with me. It kind of tied me to you in some weird way.”
A few seconds of silence lingered between us.
“That was the day you became my hero, you know. The day you rescued Fievel.”
“Your hero?”
I nodded. “That’s what hurt the most. You weren’t just my first. You were my best friend. You were the guy who’d come in to beat up other guys. You were the guy who’d rescue wounded animals. You were the guy who always made me feel safe.”
He let out a frustrated sigh.
“I learned never to put anyone on a pedestal.” I glanced at the trail, watching a couple hiking to the next lookout point.
He nodded. “I learned that lesson too.”
I knew he was referring to his father.
“How did your mom and brothers do after the revelation about your dad?”
“My mom was blindsided.” He slid his fingers along his jaw. “Remember what I said about our town gossip often being true?”
I nodded and cringed.
“She was at the grocery store when she first heard the whispers of the affair.”
“Your poor mom.”
“It’s the weirdest thing.” His eyes flew to mine.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t know how I always manage to surround myself with incredibly strong women. Between my mom, daughter, and you…”
“I don’t know about being strong. Guarded and made of stone? Possibly.”
He laughed and shook his head. “You could never be made of stone.”
“My heart has definitely turned to stone.”
“Sure it has.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re here aren’t you?”
“Only because I’m nosy, not kind. I know it for a fact.” I crossed my arms and looked down to see the missing peanut. “Did you move the peanut?”
Kyle lowered his gaze and shook his head. “Whoa. We have a creeper. Fievel just got in and got out.”
“They’re sneaky little buggers around here, aren’t they?”
“Or polite. Maybe he didn’t want to interrupt.” Kyle smiled and my entire body warmed.
“So, how about your dad?” I wanted to move the conversation away from me.
“Well, let’s see…” He furrowed his brows and leaned back slightly. “He’s been married three more times since my parents’ divorce. He lives in Arizona and pretty much keeps to whatever family he’s entertaining at the moment.”
“So Grandma Martha is…”
“Not my dad’s mom.” He flashed a wicked grin. “See the theme of strong women.”
“Grandma Martha does look like a kick in the pants.” I laughed. “What about the resort and everything your family owns?”
“That all came down my mom’s side. She actually kept her maiden name, North, when she married my dad, and my father had agreed to ‘let’ us all her carry on her last name.” He nodded. “My mom loves being a grandma to Abigail, and my mom spends her time between here and Idaho.
“Once she passed control of the resort to my brothers and me, she threw herself into helping with Abigail since she’s basically into every activity known to man. Abigail’s mom and stepdad definitely appreciate the extra help now and then.” He looped his fingers through mine, and my mind felt like it was spinning a million miles a minute. I didn’t even have time to absorb one thought before I was whipped into a thousand others.
“I’m really proud of you Kyle.” I pushed away the tightness that suddenly clenched my heart. I didn’t even understand the feeling that was coming over me. It certainly wasn’t jealousy, but I didn’t know where the ache was stemming from.
“I know I’ve done a lot of talking.” Kyle let out a deep breath. “But how are you dealing with everything I just told you?”
“You were right. You had to tell me, and I’m glad you did.” I looked back over the falls, seeing a far less stormy scene. “I’m just not sure what to make of it all, other than I’m really happy for you.”
I appreciated knowing the truth, but this was as far as things could ever go. Kyle’s priority was Abigail, and I would never let myself get in the way of their relationship. He caught my hand in his and a charge ran up my fingers.
“And that’s all I can ask for, Brooke.”
Chapter Twelve
“Do you have a picture of Abigail?” I asked as I fished out the picnic lunch that Martha had packed for us. There was a southwest chicken salad, fresh rolls, and a slice of pecan pie for each of us.
“How much time do you have?” Kyle laughed, sliding his phone out of his pocket.
He scrolled to some photographs and set the phone on the boulder. I glanced down and was stunned at how beautiful his daughter was.
Abigail had her father’s piercing blue eyes, but instead of dark hair, hers was blonde. She had high cheekbones and absolutely beautiful coloring.
“She’s gorgeous, Kyle. Absolutely beautiful.”
“She takes after her mother, thankfully.”
“Not even. I see North all over Abigail. Her eyes are the beautiful blue you and your brothers have. I even see Grandma Martha in there.” He scrolled through the photos, landing on baby photos.
“She’s so cute. Look at those cheeks.” I picked up the phone. “It’s amazing to see someone so tiny turn into a full-blown teenager.”
“It’s even more frightening in real-time.”
I la
ughed. “I can imagine.”
I set the phone back down, and he scrolled to some photos of Abigail in grade school and one picture caught my eye.
“Wait a second.” I lifted my gaze to meet Kyle’s. His daughter was at the resort in Colorado that I worked at. “When was this?”
“One of her spring breaks.”
“You know what I mean.” I narrowed my eyes at him and his mouth curled slightly. “Are you asking if you worked at the resort in Colorado at the same time I brought my daughter to spend spring break there?”
“I guess I am.”
“Then I guess the answer is yes. You worked there.” A smirk rested on his face. “There have been so many times that I wanted to reach out to you, bump into you, anything to you. I told myself if I happened to run into you at the resort, then it was meant to be.”
“So it wasn’t meant to be.” I nodded, taking a bite of salad.
“No. Not exactly.” He took a deep breath. “I saw you, but—”
My cheeks flamed red. “I was with someone.”
“Yup.” He took a sip of water and a surprising possessiveness swirled behind his gaze. “I decided it probably wasn’t the best idea to surprise you like that. You seemed really happy, and that wasn’t exactly the best time to introduce you to my daughter.”
“I doubt I was as happy as I looked.” I felt the heat of embarrassment run through me.
It wasn’t like he didn’t know I’d been with other men, but it was different hearing that he saw me with one of the men who meant so little.
They all meant so little.
“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.” He smiled and took a bite of the chicken.
“I’m not.” I shook my head. “I really got tired of that scene.”
“Well, I learned after that trip that it was best to sit back and wait until the time was right, if it was meant to be.”
I ignored the intention behind his statement and tapped on the photo. “She looked so cute in her ski outfit. Does she like skiing?”
“She likes to do everything under the sun. It’s good she’s in Idaho and not Arkansas or something with as much as she loves snow sports and the outdoors. Her stepdad does a really amazing job of exposing her to winter activities.”
Irresistible Love at Silver Falls (Island County Series Book 7) Page 10