Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  The SAGITTARIUS Child

  “There is such a nice little dog near our house….

  A little bright-eyed terrier, you know,

  with oh! such long curly brown hair!

  And it’ll fetch things when you throw them,

  and it’ll sit up and beg for its dinner

  and all sorts of things—

  I can’t remember half of them.”

  In the building where I live, there’s a dark-haired Irish girl, who was born in December. She plays a guitar and sometimes writes songs. Once she wrote a line I thought was pretty fabulous, but she was having trouble with the rest of the lyric. She really didn’t need to worry, with that opener. It was: “There you were, waving your heart at me…”

  Her quaint phrase sums up every Sagittarian from age one week to one hundred years. The calendar doesn’t matter. They never grow up, anyway. Take a good look at your little Sagittarius girl. There she is, waving her heart at you, like a friendly sheepdog. Your little Sagittarius son waves his heart just as enthusiastically, needing desperately to be liked for his own, honest self. When people don’t say “hello” back to them, their tiny hearts droop in disappointment. Sagittarians are happy, playful, miniature clowns, who laugh with tears in their eyes when they’re rejected. Even the infants show their sunny natures and desire for comradeship. The Jupiter baby will cry when he’s left alone, but wheel his bassinet into the living room where the grownups are laughing and talking, and he’ll sleep contentedly, with the warm, reassuring sound of human voices in his tiny ears. His dreams will be all the sweeter for being wrapped in the cozy, familiar atmosphere of loving and happy people. Later, he may grow more removed from family ties, but when he’s little, he needs the security of human smells and sights and sounds, exactly as a newborn puppy needs one of your old sweaters in his basket to snuggle up to cozily. If such close, human contact is denied the Jupiter youngster, he’ll withdraw and maybe become a little sarcastic. Then he’ll adopt a substitute, like the dirty, torn blanket of Linus in “Peanuts.” It can be a soft, pinch pillow or a cuddly teddy bear, with its ears twisted off and its nose missing, but it represents security. He’d much prefer you.

  The Sagittarius boy shows his happy-go-lucky nature by wandering into the woods with a makeshift fishing pole and a can of worms, barefoot, cheerfully whistling, talking to everyone he meets, his faithful dog trotting behind him. Sagittarians are informal as youngsters, and they never outgrow it. The little Jupiter girl may go through a tomboy stage, and you’ll always be reminding her to “act like a lady” as she grows up. But these girls and boys have their own ideas of what makes “a little lady” and “a little gentleman.” It starts out with honesty. Naked, unadorned, brutal honesty. They have it refined to an art and they will expect it from you—or else. Or else what? Or else they will refuse to be docile little slaves, meekly obeying every parental whim.

  Your authority is fair game for the Sagittarian child’s frank, curious investigation. He’ll give in graciously if he’s convinced there is logic behind your command. Parental orders must first pass the scrutiny of his inquisitive, reasonable mental processes, and if you don’t come out with a good grade in his test, you will get left back. There you’ll stand, waving your authority or a switch at him, and there he’ll stand, waving his honesty and defiance right back at you. If you’re fair and you try to be as honest as he is, the Jupiter youngster will learn to respect your rules. You’ll have to be firm when you know you’re right and give him a good, solid reason. When you’re wrong, you’ll have to admit your mistake and come right out with a straightforward confession of stupidity. Let’s face it, many times parents insist on obedience to rules they make up for their own convenience, rather than for the well-being of the child. A Sagittarius moppet can smell that kind of dishonesty a mile away, as his nostrils quiver like a bird dog’s and his muscles quiver with anger, backed by righteous indignation. Better plan to explain all your orders and commands to him calmly, or be prepared to use up a lot of switches before the Jupiter obstinacy in the face of unjustified punishment will show any signs of weakening.

  A phrase often used by mothers with December-born children is “curiosity killed the cat.” Sagittarian curiosity never ends. The day begins with a question and they fall asleep with a question on their lips. When they’re very young, just learning to talk and to explore the huge world, the questions will be, “Why is it naughty to touch the stove?” “Why does candy make my teeth fall out?” “Why do carrots make my hair curly?” “Why does Santa Claus need a letter if he’s so magic?” “Why did Daddy wink at you when you were talking about a second honeymoon, and why do you call a moon honey?” “Why do you talk like there are two moons when Billy says there’s just one?” (Billy is the too-smart-for-his-blue jeans older Aquarian brother, and if you have that combination, at your house you’re in real hot water!) All through lunch, nap time and supper, the questions drone on. “Why did you and Daddy say Grandpa was henpecked? Is he a chicken?” “Why did my teddy bear tell you I ate the cookies? Why doesn’t he ever talk to me like he talks to you?”

  You can see that most of the Jupiter youngster’s questions are aimed at puncturing adult hypocrisy or grownup smugness and downright deception. It won’t do you much good to get all worked up and yell, “Be still! If you say ‘why’ once more, I’ll paddle you. Don’t ever say that word again.” Then you’ll hear the archer’s clear little voice giving it to you right between the eyes: “Why not?”

  Later, when he or she is older, it will be “Why do I have to come in at a certain time when you say you trust me?” (and you will trust this child, or you should). “Why does it matter what people think? Do you care more about people than you do about me?” That’s a tough one. Better practice an answer to it while he’s still in diapers. The Sagittarian teenager will never swallow your rules if they’re based on social mores rather than on concern for his welfare. There are some good, sound, logical answers to your insistence on his observing certain social customs, of course. They involve a reputation and its precious value, but be sure you have them well-rehearsed and see that they ring true.

  The ancient warning, “when children are little, they step on your feet—when they’re bigger, they step on your heart,” might have been written about a Sagittarian. There’s no getting around it. This child is awkward, if not downright clumsy. Keep the medicine chest well stocked with Bactine and band aids. Tiny Sagittarians clomp on your feet and get in the way of your dust mop, your vacuum and all your good intentions. You may have a constantly sore toe and a sore ego. But those are nothing compared to the sore heart you may have someday, when the Jupiter boy or girl plants a foot on it firmly. His or her strong need for freedom includes freedom from family ties, and these children will strike out on their own extraordinarily early, sometimes neglecting to phone or write for long periods. It can cause some mighty painful stabs in the chest region. The best cure for such parental heartburn is to make sure when your Sagittarian child is little that he’s learned to respect you for your sense of honor and tolerance. If you’re narrow and prejudiced, you may only see him on holidays, if then. But if you refrain from judging his friends by any yardstick other than their true value—and if you’ve proved you have faith in his decency and in his dreams, he’ll come home to renew his love and trip over your feet to your heart’s content. Otherwise, he’ll stay out there somewhere with his blanket or pillow or teddy bear in the form of new friends who accept him for what he is and believe in him.

  Expect romance to rear its lacy head quite early. The girls will probably not be serious; they’re just trying out their femininity, if the right parental attitude precludes using dates as that security blanket. The boys may need a little special tutoring in the subject of birds and bees. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

  Teach these children economy. They’ll spend money like it’s made of paper, which they’ve already discovered it is. They have to learn that when they spend their all
owance, it’s spent. Don’t plug up the holes for them. If they waste their lunch money on comic books or candy—let them take peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school for the rest of the week. That may sound a little harsh, but it’s necessary. Someday the Diner’s Club will thank you.

  Both sexes will probably enjoy school. Their multiple-faceted intelligence and great curiosity will make learning a fascinating game, if their bright interest isn’t squelched by too much dull, boring routine and too much insistence on strict regulations and rigid study habits. The more progressive education becomes, the better and happier students these children will be. They’re restless, and making them sit still constantly, or stifling their fanciful imagination will soon kill their incentive, sadly, sometimes permanently. Sagittarian children with severe, intolerant teachers or who are victims of unimaginative teaching methods tend to want to drop out of school and go to work.

  The honor system works very well with young archers. A Jupiter child will never cheat in any way, if he’s trusted not to do so. Otherwise, he may figure it doesn’t matter. If no one believes in him, then why try?

  There may be a deep and very serious interest in religion. These are the boys and girls who decide at a tender age to become a priest or a nun, minister, rabbi or missionary in a foreign country. As they grow older, they’ll question dogmas, perhaps change faith and church membership, searching eternally for truth. The Peace Corps invariably attracts Jupiter youngsters. They like the idea of seeing the world and the chance to put their idealism to work. A Sagittarian without a cause is like a dog without a bone to chew on. Fighting for causes develops their strength. Without a bone, the puppy may tear the couch or chair to shreds. Without a cause, the Sagittarian youngster may tear into ideas with such fervor and fanaticism that he can shred his future irreparably.

  His eyes are fastened trustingly on the stars, and he may take a few spills as he trudges along, not noticing the rocks in his path. He’s an independent, honest little archer. Give him lots of room to shoot and to practice drawing his bow. He needs to feel the grass under his bare feet, feel the rain on his face and bake his dreams in the strong, warm sunlight until they’re well-done. There he is, waving his happy, optimistic young heart at you. Wave back at him with cheerful faith.

  The SAGITTARIUS Boss

  “No, no! the adventures first,”

  said the Gryphon in an impatient tone:

  “Explanations take such a dreadful time.”

  The first week on the job with a Sagittarius boss may leave you a little confused. You won’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  Is she a genius? Or is she clown. No, she’s neither—but she’s clearly a rude boor. At second glance, he has a touch of Don Quixote. But that couldn’t be. Not when she insults you with such relish. Still, she does flatter you with warm sincerity. Look at her—as awkward as a three-legged colt. No, actually she’s as graceful as a racehorse. What does she use, trick mirrors?

  After the second week, you’ll uneasily decide to stay awhile and see what happens next. By now, you’re sure her father spoiled her rotten. (Wrong. He didn’t have a chance. Did what she wanted to do.) Well, she’s somebody else’s problem, not yours. You’re leaving soon. He’s welcome to the woman—her husband, that is. You’ve begun to feel sorry for him. (He sheds a few tears of self-pity himself at times, but he leads an exciting life.) You’re sure she secretly hates you. (She’s crazy about you. Just brutally honest when you make a mistake and painfully frank about your faults.) You think she’s going to promote you. (Not yet. She was just a little over-enthusiastic yesterday.) She invited you to lunch this morning. Now you can find out what she’s really like. (She cancelled it. She had forgotten he promised to speak at the ASPCA meeting.)

  Two months later, both you and your psychiatrist feel it’s time to have a serious talk with her. You make up your mind: If she listens to your complaints about her erratic and puzzling actions, and she lets you know where you stand with her and the company, you’ll remain on the job. Otherwise you’ll quit. You will be firm. (Sorry. She just left for London.) All right, you can wait. So you’ll put your cards on the table when she returns, and tell her exactly how you feel. Give her a few days to get back into the swing of things. She looks a little tired. But you’re not going to let that impress you. By tomorrow she should be settled down enough to listen to reason. (You’ll have to call the airport instead. She’s leaving for Tokyo.) Now wait a minute! When is she going to light somewhere long enough for you to tell her what’s wrong with the way she treats you?

  You really want an answer? Never. Your Sagittarius boss greases the ball bearings on her skates each morning and casually glides around town, building one gargantuan promotion after another. She certainly doesn’t want to stop long enough to hear you tell her about her faults. She thinks he’s a pretty good apple. And she is, when you stop to think about it. Often, she’s shy and helpless, and she needs to be understood.

  But she keeps making those outrageous remarks to people. Why should she expect you to make excuses for him? Besides, a person can run out of excuses. (Call her husband. He keeps an alphabetical file of them.)

  It’s not fair for her to keep smiling so cheerfully, while she completely ignores what you’re saying and refuses to stick to a schedule. (Call her father. He’d love to discuss it with you. Been waiting for years to find someone to sympathize with him.) What are you going to do? You simply have to do something.

  You might try writing her a formal letter. Be sure it’s logical, with no phony emotion or one-sided arguments, which make her the villain and you the righteous one. She’s the righteous one. If you make a fair point, she’ll consider it, and try to mend her ways, but she doesn’t want to spend six hours discussing it. In his opinion, there are more exciting adventures than listening to a recital of why she’s wrong. Besides, she’s not going to change anyway, so why waste her valuable time? Doesn’t she have any virtues at all? Well, yes, she does. Stop right there. Hang on to those, and forget the rest. Her father did. Her husband does. Imitate their wisdom.

  You could start by checking off a list of her good points. Right away you have to admit she’s seldom irritable. Only once in a while, when somebody tries to dampen the fires of her enthusiasm, or when that stuffy accountant wants her to remember what she meant by those figures in her expense report for last month. Generally your Sagittarius boss is a rather happy-go-lucky, optimistic, cheerful type. That’s a plus. Now, what else? She’s pretty fair about sick leave and vacations. Another good point—she’s generous. Lots of bosses wouldn’t have understood when you lost all your money at the race track and had to borrow a month’s pay in advance. All she said was that you should have asked her which horse was going to win before you picked such obvious losers. But she gave you the advance and said you could pay it back a few dollars a week later. Another check mark to her credit.

  When you impulsively broke off your engagement and then regretted it deeply, she gave you the afternoon off so you could patch it up. Before you left, she happened to remark that she thought you were the most creative employee in the firm, and her obvious sincerity picked up your droopy heart. It gave you the courage to run right straight into someone’s arms with confidence, and the broken love affair was mended by nightfall. All right, so she’s a pretty great morale booster. Anything more?

  You kind of admire her because she’s a non-conformist. She fights hard for what she believes is right, and it gives you a warm feeling to work for someone like that. It’s sort of exciting to be around someone who defends lost causes. She’s true to herself and her code, whatever it might be. That’s refreshing, isn’t it? Of course. Add another virtue.

  But wait—what about that time you felt like a complete fool when you quoted the wrong figures at a sales meeting, and she led the laughter? Then she tried to fix it up by saying, “That’s our boy, Tom, always throwing in a monkey wrench, but we love him anyway.” Don’t think about those things now. We’re dwelling on her goo
d points, remember?

  There’s no denying a Sagittarius boss can keep you a little up in the air. It’s hard to decide if she’s a saint or a sinner, or a little of each. The latter is probably closer to the truth. It takes a spell to get used to the Jupiter executive. She’s usually a hail-fellow-well-met type, but the Sagittarius honesty and desire to keep everything aboveboard (and I mean everything) can be a shock to more sensitive natures. This sign is so democratic, you can’t help liking her. Still, her forthright manner and brutal frankness are sometimes hard to take. The Sagittarius employer is sincere and friendly, and it’s obvious she isn’t the kind of person to hold a grudge or deliberately hurt anyone. She has very few inhibitions, and correcting your mistakes definitely isn’t one of them. Her criticism is done in the open, usually with a bare minimum of tact. Even the gentle archers never think of the wounds they’re inflicting when they cheerfully point out your flaws with deadly accuracy. True, the compliments and warm appreciation far outweigh the embarrassments, but those painful moments stand out like sore thumbs. The December-born boss honestly believes that everyone wants to hear the truth. So she tells them. When she sees that she has offended, she can be the soul of contrite regret. Then she apologizes profusely and explains, frequently making it worse.

  You’ll seldom know where she is at any given moment. Sagittarius can be anywhere at a minute’s notice. You’ll learn that she’s great at spotting phonies, fake salespeople with false pitches, clients with hidden motives and employees with hidden vices. She’s not so clever about her love life. If she’s single, she may keep the office buzzing with his sentimental journeys and her active romantic adventures.