“But—”
“Just a minute. You’re not allowed to interrupt me any more than Spencer is. Now listen. This is important. If you do what makes you happy, you’ll fulfill all your potential. Think about that. Does painting windows make you happy?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then paint windows. Does helping with a community project, like this mall thing, make you happy?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then do that. Jill, you are perfectly fine as you are. Believe me, you will make a difference in the world. The world doesn’t have many people in it who are truly happy. Be one of them, and you’ll change lives.”
Jill stared at her.
“You don’t think I’m right, do you?”
She shook her head.
Gladys shrugged. “It takes time.”
Charlie stepped forward and took Gladys’s hands in his. “I know now why I fell in love with you, dear lady. Isn’t there some way we can resolve this conundrum between us?”
Gladys’s military stance softened. “No,” she said softly. “As much as these two belong together as husband and wife, we don’t. You must continue your vagabond life-style to be truly happy, and I must stay close to my family and friends. I…wasn’t thinking clearly before.”
“I will give it all up for you, you know,” Charlie said.
“I know, and I love you for it, but I couldn’t live with myself if I tied you down like that.”
“May I…may I visit you now and then?”
“You don’t even have to ask that, dear man. Now perhaps we’d better go back and inform the guests that there’s been a change in plans.”
“Yes, my dear, I suppose we must.” Charlie offered his arm and Gladys took it. It seemed as if they’d forgotten Jill and Spence existed as they smiled at each other and began walking down the mall.
Jill watched them with tears in her eyes. How could they agree so bravely to live apart? Surely it was because they were both a little crazy. Normal people would cling to each other and never let go, but not these two.
Spence moved up beside her. “Well, Miss Jill Amory? What now?”
“It’s ridiculous,” Jill said around the lump in her throat. “I can’t believe they’re acting this way.”
“Oh, I don’t know. What Gladys said a while ago made some sense to me.”
“I think you’d be foolish to believe anything she said, or Charlie, either, for that matter,” Jill said, angry with both of them for deciding to part.
“So you don’t buy this stuff about doing what makes you happy, and fulfilling your obligation to the world that way?”
“It’s romantic claptrap, just like everything else they say.”
“They won’t be getting married tomorrow,” he said quietly. “I guess you’re free to leave.”
She turned slowly and faced him. “Yes, I guess I am.”
14
JILL ARRIVED in Bangor, Maine, on the tenth of June, two days before her birthday. She’d phoned her mother and G.G. the night before to let them know she was coming. Her apartment wouldn’t be vacant until the first of July, so she’d asked to stay in her old room at home until then.
G.G. was waiting for her on the porch of the shingled two-story house where Jill had grown up. G.G.’s progress down the cement stairs was unsteady, but her face glowed with delight as Jill pulled into the drive, windows rolled down to catch the cool Maine air. “She’s here, Nelda!” G.G. called over her shoulder. “Our Jill is here!”
Our Jill. She remembered how Charlie used to call her that. Colorado seemed so far away. Colorado and all that had happened there with Charlie, Gladys, Tippy the Lip, Bernie, George, Robert and, of course, Spence Jegger. She’d expected to miss him; she hadn’t expected to feel as if her heart had been ripped out and replaced with a chunk of lead.
Seeing G.G.’s smiling face helped. Jill hopped out of the van and hurried over to hug her beloved great-grandmother and breathe in the familiar violet scent of her cologne. “Did you get my last postcard?”
“It’s already pasted in the scrapbook, my dear!” G.G. exclaimed, smiling at her. “Come along, let me take a peek at that map on your van. I’ve been waiting a year to see all those states colored in. My, will you look at that.”
Jill had forgotten that G.G. also used the expression “my dear,” as Charlie had. No wonder Charlie had seemed like an old friend from the start.
“Jill, sweetheart!”
Jill turned as her mother ran down the steps, her salt-and-pepper hair bouncing, her smile wide. Jill hugged her with enthusiasm. She’d missed these two and she was touched at how much they seemed to have missed her.
“Let me look at you,” her mother said, holding out Jill’s hands and studying her from head to toe. “You’ve let your hair grow longer. I suppose that saved on expenses, not to have it cut. I’ll treat you to a beauty salon visit this week.”
“Thanks, Mom, but I think I’ll skip the haircut,” Jill said.
“Oh? I thought you never liked having it too long.”
“I think you never liked having it too long,” Jill said with a teasing smile.
“Grown independent now that you’ve been out on your own, have you?”
“Yes.”
“Well, unload your things and come inside. I have to check on supper,” her mother said, climbing the steps to the porch. “Oh, and Aaron’s been pestering us every day to find out when you’d be here, so you’d better call him right away.”
“Don’t forget that other fellow who’s been calling,” G.G. said. “What was his name, Nelda?”
“Let me think,” Jill’s mother said, pausing as she opened the screen door. “Was it Chad? No…sorry, I can’t remember.” She went into the house.
Jill’s heart pounded. “Was his first name Spence?” she asked her great-grandmother.
“No, that wasn’t it,” G.G. said. “Charlie, I think. Charlie Harmon, or something like that.”
“Charlie Hartman,” Jill said, as disappointment flooded her. During the whole drive today she’d wondered if she’d come home to a message from Spence. This was the only place he could have tracked her down since she’d left Colorado Springs. Instead Charlie was still acting as the perennial matchmaker, although she was surprised he’d call long distance when he had so little money.
“That’s it,” G.G. said. “Charlie Hartman. He mentioned some business deal you two had, and he wanted to follow up. He sounded like an older fellow. Did you paint some store windows for him?”
“No,” Jill said with a sad smile as she stepped into the van and came back with an armload of her possessions. “He, um, tried to interest me in another venture, but it didn’t work out.”
“Who’s Spence?”
Jill glanced away from G.G.’s bright eyes. “Oh, someone I met.”
“Just someone you met, huh? I don’t think so.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” Jill started toward the house at a pace slow enough for G.G. “I’ve finished my trip, but I still haven’t found a career to follow. From that standpoint, I still feel like a failure.”
“If that isn’t rubbish, I don’t know what is,” G.G. said, tottering along beside her. “You’re not a failure. You have the whole world before you. You can do anything you set your mind to.”
Jill paused and looked down at her great-grandmother. “Have you ever thought,” she said slowly, surprising herself by her statement, “that being able to do ‘anything I set my mind to’ could make my decision even harder?”
G.G. leaned on her cane. “Can’t say I have. I figured you were the lucky one, having so many interests and abilities.”
“But the implication’s always been that I’ll accomplish something really great, once I ‘set my mind to it.”’
“And I believe you will.” G.G. gazed at her with pride.
Jill’s stomach tightened in the old, familiar way. Had Gladys been right, after all? Jill started toward the house again. “Maybe,” she said
.
The living room smelled of lemon oil and the aroma of baked chicken drifted from the kitchen. Nelda Amory was an excellent cook and a zealous housekeeper. Her motto had always been “If a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.” Jill thought of that motto as she kissed G.G. on the cheek and started up the stairs to the bedroom that had been hers until she’d moved into an apartment six years ago.
Her mother hadn’t changed her room. The framed certificates for high grades, the ribbons for art shows, her high school graduation tassel, still hung on the walls. To that display she’d added posters, all of which had a similar theme—Climb Every Mountain, Dream the Impossible Dream, Reach for the Stars. Nothing about this room advised her to find the path that made her happy, only the road that led to glory.
She might have left this room six years ago, she thought, but she’d taken its messages with her. The weight of those messages had lifted some during the past year, because she’d convinced herself that somewhere along the way she’d have a revelation and know what to do with her life. It hadn’t happened.
As she placed her bundle of clothes and her purse on the bed, the telephone on the bedside table rang. She didn’t answer. She wasn’t quite up to Aaron at the moment.
“Jill!” her mother called up the stairs. “It’s that Charlie Harmon fellow.”
Jill reached for the receiver immediately. Charlie didn’t have long-distance money to spare, and besides, he was a link with Spence. “Charlie?” she said warmly. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, my dear. I was wondering if I might see you.”
“See me? Aren’t you in Colorado?”
“I’m in Bangor, Maine,” Charlie said.
“Here? How did you get here? Are you alone?” Her first wild thought was that Spence and Charlie had traveled to Maine together.
“Yes, I’m alone,” Charlie replied, dashing her hopes. “Could we have a little chat this evening, perhaps?”
“Why, of course. Where are you staying? Would you like to come over for supper?”
“That would be lovely, but I hesitate to inconvenience your mother.”
“I’m sure she’s cooked enough to feed half the town. Tell me where you are and I’ll come and pick you up. If I remember Mom’s usual schedule, she’ll be serving dinner in about half an hour.” Jill wondered if he needed a place to stay, but she decided to deal with that later.
“I really won’t need a lift, my dear. I’ll find my way to your house. Everyone seems quite friendly here.”
“They are, but I insist on picking you up. Just—”
“I’ll be there shortly,” Charlie interrupted, and hung up.
Jill frowned and replaced the receiver. Charlie probably had no place to stay and didn’t want her to find out. She’d have to work on him after dinner. At least for the time he was in Bangor, she’d make sure he had a roof over his head. In a way, she wished that Gladys had agreed to travel with him; she could have paid for hotel rooms. But that wouldn’t have been the best life for Gladys, in the long run, and people needed to do what was best for themselves. My, that sounded selfish, Jill thought, glancing up at her posters. Then she hurried downstairs to tell her mother there would be a guest for dinner.
CHARLIE WON HER MOTHER’S and G.G.’s hearts with his courtly ways, as Jill had expected he would. He glossed over his travel arrangements and referred vaguely to “my hotel” without giving a name, giving the impression of an eccentric old man using his retirement checks to travel the globe. Jill was convinced he was sleeping on a park bench somewhere, unless Spence had managed to force money on him for the trip to Maine.
Charlie regaled them with the story of Tippy the Lip’s attempt to ruin the Remembrance Mall, and he made Jill sound like Joan of Arc as he recounted her part in the fight to save the trolley and the museum. Mercifully for Jill, he kept Spence’s name out of the narration. Jill knew G.G. would pick up on it and make the connection.
“So I had to stop in and see that map after it was finished,” Charlie said, patting his mouth with one of the linen napkins Jill’s mother had set out for the occasion.
“Jill is an amazing girl, that’s for sure,” G.G. said, beaming. “Why, she could do anything, anything at all.”
Charlie glanced at Jill. “She’s very clever with those window decorations, you know.”
“It was a wonderful way to earn her travel money,” her mother agreed. “Window decoration is hardly what I’d call a career, but it served the purpose.”
“What would you call a career, Mrs. Amory?” Charlie put his napkin beside his plate and leaned back in his chair.
Jill noticed that the button of his vest strained a little across his stomach and she smiled. At least he’d had one good meal in Bangor.
“Why, a career means doing something significant,” Jill’s mother replied.
“Have you had one, would you say?”
“Mercy, no. I haven’t done anything to brag about.”
“Except keep a beautiful home and cook marvelous meals and raise an exceptional daughter,” Charlie said.
Nelda Amory blushed. “That’s hardly a career, Mr. Hartman.”
“Have you been happy?”
“Well, yes. I’ve missed having my husband these past ten years, of course, but otherwise, yes. I’ve been lucky that he left me very well provided for.”
“I’ll wager you also do a share of volunteer work in the community,” Charlie said.
“She certainly does,” G.G. confirmed. “Why, some of the local charities wouldn’t manage without her.”
“And you do your part, too, Grandmother Amory,” Nelda said, blushing even more. “You’re all making me out to be some sort of person I’m not. Especially compared to people who really make a difference, like Jill’s Aaron, for example.”
Jill winced. He wasn’t “her Aaron” at all, and she didn’t want Charlie to get that idea and relay it to Spence. But she couldn’t think what to say without causing a stir, so she remained silent.
“Aaron has developed some wonderful new techniques for gold crowns,” Jill’s mother continued. “That’s so important for people, to have good teeth, or at least good substitute teeth, don’t you think, Mr. Hartman? Aaron performs a real service for the community as a dentist.”
“Well, yes, I suppose,” Charlie said.
Jill could hold back no longer. “Mom, I hate to burst your bubble, but Aaron told me before he even went to dental school that he was in it for the money. He specializes in gold crowns because that’s an expensive procedure and brings in more money.”
Nelda Amory’s eyes widened. “Of course he makes a good living. There’s nothing wrong with that, but in the meantime, he has a worthwhile career that—”
“In the meantime he’s a very unhappy man,” Jill interrupted. “What he really wanted to do was raise cocker spaniels, but his parents made such fun of that idea he finally chose dental school. He may not have the nerve until after his parents die, but I’ll bet eventually he’ll give up dentistry to raise dogs.”
“That’s crazy,” muttered Jill’s mother. “All that training would be down the drain.”
“And he’s so smart,” G.G. added. “He was another one, like Jill, who could have done anything he wanted. Why would he want to raise little dogs?”
“Maybe because he loves little dogs,” Jill said. She glanced at Charlie and absorbed his approving smile. Joy bubbled up in her; the revelation she’d traveled all over the country to find had finally burst upon her. The year she’d spent painting holiday windows she’d been happy, happier than ever before. Getting the orders, dreaming up clever pictures and messages, and finally viewing the results of her imagination had been fun. Along the way she’d found chances to be of service to people, and she’d wanted to help them because the happiness she’d found in her work promoted a desire to help other people find happiness, too. At last it all made sense.
“Dessert, Mr. Hartman?” Jill’s mother asked, rising to clear the plate
s.
“You’re too kind,” Charlie said, “but I’m afraid I’m completely satiated. Perhaps if Jill and I might sit on your front porch swing for a bit, I could manage some of what I’m certain is a mouth-watering treat.”
“I’ll be right there, Charlie, after I help with the dishes,” Jill said.
“In that case, perhaps I, too, should help,” Charlie said, pushing back his chair. “Forgive me for not offering in the first place.”
“Heavens, no,” Jill’s mother said, waving them toward the living room. “You’re our guest and this is Jill’s first night home in a year. Both of you go out and enjoy the night air.”
Charlie looked doubtful and glanced at Jill.
“You might as well not argue with Mom on an issue like this,” Jill said, chuckling. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’m sure you will, sweetheart. You always were a good helper,” her mother said. “Now you two go and have a talk. I imagine you’d like to catch up on each other’s news.”
Moments later Jill and Charlie swayed gently in the old porch swing and watched an occasional car drive by on the residential street. Jill wanted to ask about Spence, but didn’t know where to begin, so she sat waiting for Charlie to open the conversation.
“Aren’t you curious about him?” Charlie asked finally.
There was no need for Jill to ask who Charlie meant. They both knew. “Yes, of course…”
“Spencer is what you modern people would call a basket case,” Charlie said. “It’s a wonder the store is functioning at all. If he hadn’t trained Stephanie and Horace so well, it might not be.”
“Oh, dear.” Jill’s heart hammered. Did he really love her that much?
“I couldn’t do very much for the poor boy until you arrived in Maine, but about two weeks ago I decided to set out for Bangor and discover how you had fared on your journey.”
“How did you get here?”
“That’s not important,” Charlie said. “I believe I’ve seen what I hoped to see. Am I correct?”
Forever Mine, Valentine Page 18
