by Kari Miller
“No, you and Ed need to attend but I can stay behind with Katherine.”
“I’ll be fine; you don’t need to coddle me.” Katherine said in a small voice that was shaky.
“Honey, I don’t want to place you in a stressful environment. It’s not good for you or the baby.” Salvador replied gently.
“Really Salvador, I’ll be fine!” Katherine continued more firmly. “I can’t keep running from my past. My Father made mistakes and I shouldn’t be the one paying for them.” She concluded.
“We’ll see.” Salvador responded, giving her a warning look.
Chapter 37 – Shattered
That evening they all retired rather earlier than usual. Peter decided to go back out whereas Ed retired for the night along with Katherine and Salvador.
As Katherine laid her head back onto the pillow, she thought back to the time that she would visit the Van Horne's. They were the family that she would have done anything to be part of. When her father failed on one of their investments, they cut all contact with the Rochester’s and forbid their daughter to associate with Katherine.
She understood why they had made that decision, but what hurt was how easy it was for Jessica to comply. She had heard from another friend that Jessica never really liked her and that she thought that Katherine was purposely going out of her way to steal all the attention from the men at social functions, when in reality Jessica would see Katherine show interest towards a man and she would promptly put herself in between them and then fight for the mans attention. Because Katherine was not one to openly flirt with males like her friends would, Jessica was always the winner.
Now she dreaded seeing her again, or even dreaded facing the ton again.
“Are you alright?” She heard Salvador gently whisper to her.
“Yes, I’m just remembering back to when I was friends with Jessica Van Horne. I thought we would be best friends forever.” She stated sadly. “What happened?”
“Her Father forbade her to associate with me when my Father lost one of his investments and she was all too eager to comply.”
“How do you know she was eager?”
“She didn’t even question him and then continued to spread rumours about me behind my back.”
“Hmm, and you’re certain you want to attend tomorrow?”
“Yes, I just feel as though I need to.”
She didn’t know why, but she felt that this is what she needed to do to move on with her past. She knew that it wouldn’t be easy but she also knew that she couldn’t keep hiding.
“I will respect that. But Katherine, if I see that you are getting upset I will not hesitate to throw you over my shoulder and haul you out.”
“I believe you.” She said on a sigh to which he chuckled.
He looked at her adoringly as she fidgeted with her hair. She kept waiting for him to lose interest in her and slowly start to fade away into the background, but as the time went by he grew fonder of her. She had feared that once her stomach started to grow he would grow disgusted with her body and seek comfort elsewhere, but every night he assured her that she was still beautiful and desirable to him whether through his words or his light caresses, or even through his intense love making.
Her heart warmed towards him even more each day as he regarded the baby in such an endearing manner. He would speak to the baby through her stomach and tell tales of what the babe’s life would be like. At night he would snuggle into her and fall asleep while gently caressing the babe with his thumb. She was scared to hope that he would be the father to her child that she had always wanted for herself, but then would remember that he was already the husband that she had always wanted…give or take his over protectiveness and dictatorship.
She was in a way excited to attend the ball tomorrow eve, just to show the town that she had survived and came out victorious. But then felt guilty since her father had damaged so many families and that she was involuntarily part of that.
Her eyes started to droop as Salvador gently soothed her hair back. He had taken to running his fingers through her hair and she found it to be quite relaxing.
Her last thought before she closed her eyes for the night was her wondering what she would wear tomorrow eve.
The following day was a whirlwind of activity. Salvador had presented to her a few ball gowns that he planned to surprise her with. Peter had convinced Ed to venture back into town to continue their hunt and Katherine learned that Salvador had relieved Clair of her duties. Katherine did not take the news well and distanced herself from Salvador for many hours, but in the end she could not stay away and eventually forgave him.
It was a warm day and there was a gentle breeze that beckoned Kat to venture outside. Salvador was busying himself in the study while Jenna was taking a nap.
Katherine made her way to the stables and wasn't surprised to find them empty. She slowly strolled over to where her horse used to be and remembered back to when she spent most of her time on horseback.
"My my, you have grown" a voice startled her out of her reminiscing.
She swung around with her hand on her throat, only to find not ten feet away a man with a familiar face.
He grinned and planted a lop-sided smile in greeting.
"Do I know you?" She inquired cautiously.
"Maybe just a little" he laughed out. "I used to be one of your stable boys."
He cocked an eyebrow at her and then grinned again as recognition flooded her face.
"You need to leave. If my husband finds you here, he will not be happy."
She tried to sound sure of herself and insert some of that aristocrat manner she was born to, but obviously failed. He simply shrugged off her warning and began to approach her.
He made her feel uncomfortable and at that moment she wanted to flee as quickly as she had all those years ago.
"Your husband is busy and we are doing nothing wrong." He challenged her.
"Were you hired on as staff again?"
"No, but I heard you were alive and well. I needed to see that with my own eyes."
"Yes, well...now you have seen for yourself and you can be on your way."
Her voice was shaky and she wished she sounded more stern than afraid.
"We share a good memory here, do we not?" He countered instead while circling her.
"That is inappropriate; you must take your leave now." She spat out, feeling her anger overcome her fear.
He laughed and waved his hand in the air to dismiss her command.
"Perhaps we could relive that memory, hmm? Only this time it could be you kneeling in front of me."
She could only gasp!
"I could teach you a thing or two, I'm certain your husband would be grateful."
Katherine's mouth fell open and she was unsure as to how to respond. So instead she lifted her skirts and turned to flee. His arm shot out and his hand came around her forearm. She let out a shriek as he pulled her to him and then screamed her horror when a blade appeared and sliced through his throat.
He made a horrid gurgling sound before falling to the ground and choking to death on his own blood. Katherine stood there in shock, staring wide eyed at the dyeing man at her feet. She gasped and started flailing her arms in a desperate attempt to free herself when two hands gripped her forearms.
"Katherine!" A voice boomed from in front of her, breaking her out of her fear.
She raised her head and stared into the concerned eyes of her husband.
She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out.
"I am so sorry that you had to witness that, my Love. Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" He asked with a shaky voice.
"He, he was our stable boy..." Was all she could respond at the moment.
"Are you hurt?" He repeated himself, this time in a tone that demanded the correct answer.
She shook her head in response.
"Let's get you inside." He said as he wrapped his arm around her and led her to the house.
Once inside, he sat her down in the sunroom and made sure she was ok before leaving again. He assured her he would be right back and warned her not to leave.
Katherine's mind was in turmoil. Although she was frightened of Gregory and worried for her safety, she didn't believe that his actions warranted his death.
How could he so easily approach another man and end his life? Had she misjudged her husband? Could this be the reason why people call him a devil and was this what he was trying to hide from her?
Confused, she wasn't sure how to react. She didn't know what she could say to him and found that she couldn't even look at him.
Moments later Sarah arrived with refreshments. After finishing, she excused herself to go to her chamber. She needed to be alone. At first she paced the room, trying to search for a justifiable reason that Salvador would do such a thing. She always came up short. Eventually she fell into an exhausted sleep and continued her battle within unwelcomed nightmares of the event.
~
"Katherine, Honey. You need to wake up." Salvador gently nudged her.
He wasn't sure what her reaction to the days earlier events would be, he had a feeling that they did not bode well with her. He would not apologize for what he had done. That man was handling his pregnant wife in a manner that should not be allowed. He didn't like anyone touching her and this man deserved what he got. But would she understand that? Would she reject him?
Her eyes slowly opened and she stretched herself like a cat. He gave her an endearing smile and soothed back her hair. She started to smile back but then a look of dread passed over her beautiful features and she sat up, scrambling away from him.
"Kat?"
His tone was gentle with a tinge of hurt.
"How could you?" Was all she replied.
She wouldn't even look at him.
"I was protecting my wife, and unborn child." He defended himself.
"You didn't have to kill him!" She shrieked out and then burst into tears.
"I will not apologize for my actions Katherine. What would have happened if he threw you down? Hmm? Perhaps causing you to lose our child! I was protecting you!"
She sat there shaking her head. In all of her innocence, she could not fathom why he would take filth like that off the streets.
He reached out to comfort her but she slapped his hands away.
"Don't touch me! I don't even know who you are!" She cried out.
That stung.
"I'm so sorry Katherine that you had to witness that, but be reasonable! You have no idea what he had in store for you! Think about it Kat! Look how he handled you while it is clear as day that you are with child! Who knows what else he would have done!"
"You didn't have to end his life." She sobbed out. "I never thought you capable of such a thing."
"Now you know." He replied flatly.
He saw his marriage falling apart, felt his heart breaking and worst he saw the distrust in his wife's eyes. He felt as though he had lost her. He never wanted her to see that side of him. But when he heard what that man was saying to her and then saw how he handled her, he lost his mind. He had visions of Katherine being raped all over again and he couldn't sit back and do nothing!
His shoulders slumped in defeat. He gathered up the will to get off of the bed and leave her to her thoughts.
"I will inform Ed and Peter that we will not be attending tonight and we will leave tomorrow morning." He managed to say.
His hand was on the door handle when she spoke.
"No. We will attend the ball tonight and finish what we came here to do."
Her voice was shaky but firm.
"Katherine..."
"No Salvador. I don't want your protection. I will not turn you in because you are the Father of my child, but as of now you are dead to me. I will move my belongings into another wing when we arrive back home and you will leave me be."
He felt as though it was his throat being slit. He wanted to take charge of the situation and order her to rest. Tell her that she didn't call the shots and that she would remain by his side no matter what. He wanted to order her to love him again. Instead, he turned his back and exited the room.
~
She could only stare at the closed door. As she spat her venomous words at her husband, she could feel her heart shattering - and his. She knew that he was only protecting her and their unborn babe, but she couldn't understand how he had it in him to end the life of another in such a cold and calculating way. Part of her wanted to chase after him and beg his forgiveness and another part of her wanted to distance herself from him forever. She knew that he would never let her leave him, not while she carried his child. And once the baby was born, would he let her leave with his child? She didn't think so. She was realistic enough to know that she could not just leave and she knew he would hunt her down if she took his child away from him. Even if she did manage to escape, would her heart bare to be apart from him? She still felt as though she loved him, but she didn't feel as though she knew him at all. She decided to never speak of the event again but she would distance herself from him and slowly claim her soul back.
With a heavy heart and shaking hands, she pulled herself together and called Sarah in to help her dress for the evening.
The tension in the house was thick enough to cut. From the moment she entered the lobby, she had received sympathetic stares from Henry, Ed and Peter and her husband would not even face her. For that she was grateful.
She squared her shoulders and put on an aristocrat bravo that she had learned as a child.
Nodding to the brothers and to Henry, she allowed Jenna to drape a cape over her shoulders and Peter to guide her to the carriage.
"You look stunning tonight" he murmured to her as they approached the carriage. "But you don't have to go through with this." He quickly tacked on.
She turned to him and looked him in the eyes. She no longer felt like an innocent. Her world had fallen apart around her and she felt as though she was viewing life through a new set of eyes.
"These things happen, do they not? Why ruin our evening." She replied, her words sounding as dead as she felt inside.
Peter cocked his eyebrow at her as a look of concern passed over his handsome features.
"Don't. I don't need pity, concern or even compassion at this moment. What I need is to dance and forget."
With that, she climbed aboard the carriage with Peter’s help and sat across from her husband.
He was busy scowling out the window and she wasn't sure if he even noticed that she was there. That was what she wanted, right?
The ride was not long but the tension never receded. When they arrived, Salvador exited the carriage first and then held out his hand to help her down. She hesitated for a moment but then accepted his hand, for appearance sake only.
The way he held her was much different than she had ever known. She could feel the distance he was putting between them and could sense his heart hardening. Each motion that he made felt like a practiced routine. She wanted to cry and flee the scene, but couldn't. Wasn't it her who pushed him away? Although it hurt her terribly to be so distant from him, each time he touched her she felt sick. She would get a flash of him slitting Gregory's throat and feel a bout of nausea.
When they entered the ballroom, she could feel the icy stares of the women and the curious stares of the men. It was obvious that she was with child, but not so much that she was hideous. She could see the disapproval in the eyes of the people and wondered if she had indeed made a mistake by coming here. Her heart lurched when she saw Jessica eying her from across the room. Her first instinct was to grab onto Salvador's arm for support, but instead it was Peters she had found. Salvador had already left her side and was making his way across the room.
Peter started to say something but stopped when she shook her head.
The first hour of the event was torture. She was approached by many people and questioned repeatedly about what had happened. Peter did well in diver
ting their attentions and for that she was grateful. She did however convince him to leave her side and try to find a dance partner, reminding him of his purpose for being there. He reluctantly agreed but stayed close to her.
She was pleased to see that Ed had found a partner for the night. They appeared to be enthralled with each other which made her happy. Salvador had not shown himself since their arrival which hurt and relieved her at the same time.
"I admire your courage." A female voice sounded from behind her.
Katherine spun around to be faced with the icy stare of her old friend.
"Jessica - what a pleasure to see you again." She stated with false enthusiasm and a fake smile.
"I'm sure it is. I'm not even curious as to where you were all of these years, but do tell me what brought you back?"
Katherine was trying to figure out why Jessica was acting so hostile towards her. They had gone their separate ways all of those years ago, but she couldn't remember what she had done to bring this on.
"I came here with my husband and his friends. We were just tying up some loose ends."
"Your husband? That man that is dancing with every woman?" She laughed out while nodding her head towards Peter.
Now it was time for Katherine to laugh. "No Jennifer - that is a friend of my husband."
"Ah, well he is a very trusting man to allow you to be left alone with him." She snorted out.
Just what was she insinuating? Did she honestly think that she was capable of having an affair with another man while carrying her husband’s child? The woman was delusional.
"I'm not certain I understand your meaning, but I can assure you my husband can trust me beyond a doubt."
Jessica snickered and then plastered on a sweet smile as a man joined her.
"Thomas dear, do you remember Katherine?"
He looked at Katherine and gave a genuine smile.
"How can I forget?" He replied before bowing over Katherine's hand.
"When did you return from France?" Katherine started.
"About two years ago. It felt good to come home."
Katherine smiled affectionately towards him, even though Jessica was not looking pleased.
