Saving his best friend mattered.
The ground solidified under his feet and he felt the onslaught of grief, and wanted to fall to his knees sobbing. The wails that filled the air around him told him Caris was losing control. They’d have blood on the ground from people trying to cut their pain out if she didn’t stop. As he forced a shield between him and her weapon, he moved up behind her, feeling his heart break as he saw the struggling child in her arms. Caris was rocking back and forth, trying to calm the little girl, who was fighting to get back to the man who lay gasping out his last breaths on the ground.
“Daddy! Somebody help my daddy!”
“Baby, he’s been hurt too badly…I don’t have that kind of gift,” Caris whispered. “I can’t heal that kind of hurt. I don’t know of a healer who could undo that kind of damage.”
There was no way the girl could understand. But maybe Caris was trying to convince herself, Sage mused as he knelt behind them and lay his palm on Caris’ back. “I’m here, babe. We have to get you away before these people go insane. Before you do.”
Sage was getting ready to do just that when both he and Caris sensed the little snap of somebody’s control breaking. Golden amber and dark hazel gazes lifted to the security officer, clad in the somber gray uniform, her eyes inscrutable behind her shades, her face pale and grim…she moved like a wraith to the man who was no longer breathing on the ground.
“I’m sorry…I’m such a coward,” she whispered, laying a hand on the hole in his chest. With a hand that glowed, light pulsing from it, light blazing from behind the standard issue shades that still covered her eyes, she touched him. Closing her eyes, she said, “Don’t listen to the people who are calling you. Listen to my voice, stay with your daughter, man. Stay here with us.”
“There’s no way—” Sage murmured, shaking his head, hair tumbling into his eyes, his throat spasming as the young girl in Caris’ arms screamed “Daddy, come back!”
“He’s not gone,” Caris whispered, cocking her head, stroking the child’s hair and shushing her. “There is some part of him still here.”
“You need a damned good healer…”
Jax appeared at their side. “We need to get out of here. Get Caris away. Now,” Jax growled at Sage as Sage uncurled from his crouch, turning to the vampire with cold, blank eyes.
Fury raced through Sage as he faced the vampire. “You were supposed to protect her, not throw her into the lion’s den. Now you want me to take care of her ass?”
Jax snarled, his fangs glinting as his arm flashed out, but Sage merely blinked and the hand slammed into a wall only a millimeter in front of Sage’s face. Snapping hazel eyes met the cold blue of the vampire’s and Sage drawled, “Do you really think I’d wait here with her unprotected? I would never leave her unprotected. I know how vulnerable she is—unlike you and our fearless leader.”
“Sage.” The soft, whisper of his name from Caris belied the calm expression on her face. She was shattering inside. “Let it go. He didn’t know. They wouldn’t believe me until they saw it.”
Sage stared at Jax until a piercing scream from outside the circle of despair caught his attention. “No, I can’t take it…” a woman sobbed.
“Caris, they are losing it.” Sage turned away from Jax, kneeling in front of Caris and meeting her eyes, holding her gaze. “I’m here now. You won’t feel any more from them. I can’t stop what is inside now, but you won’t feel anymore. Let them go before anything happens.”
He saw the terror in her eyes, the anguish and the guilt for the suffering she was inflicting even as she let them go. The screams and moans of anguish turned into rage and hatred. Closing his hands over her ears, he muffled the sounds and focused on her mind. Don’t focus on the sound…focus on her, the baby, on Jax and how furious he is with me right now. See the look on his face?
A muffled sound, between a giggle and a sob left her lips. How can I not see it? If he could tear down that wall, he’d kill you. He’d be sorry later, but he’d kill you. He didn’t know you could do this. He wants to know why. And he wants to squeeze your throat until your eyeballs pop out.
He’s graphic about what he wants, huh? Sage teased. Don’t you think he’s overreacting a little though? I’m just trying to help…
You’re trying to cause trouble like you always do. Caris took a deep breath, closing her eyes, focusing, or trying to. Sage could still feel the wildness inside her. She was close to breaking. He had to get them out of here. But he couldn’t leave—not even for a minute.
“Jax, I need them all next to me,” he said flatly, not taking his hands from Caris’ face.
Jax growled under his breath but moved to the healer who said, “I can’t take my hands from him.”
“We stay here, we die.”
Sage tossed her a flicker of a look before returning his focus to Caris and flashing a smile. “Hang in there, babe. Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.” He dropped a slow teasing wink and sent a long-cherished memory, that first time they came together, and watched her blush.
Behind him, he heard Jax say, “Silence, lady. You heard Sage. We stay, we die. Do you want your sacrifice to go to waste? The child to die? Walk at his side. I will carry him. Bloody piquan that he is, Sage is a wise man in some ways and he has some plan to get us out of here. Now be silent and continue.”
Sage watched as the glowing bright light came closer and closer, and said, “Touching, Jax. I need all of you touching me.”
“You do not want me able to touch you, Sage,” Jax purred.
“You want to see your lady sane, Jax. That is what I’m trying to do. So shut the hell up and get closer.” He dropped the shield between him and the vamp and felt the cooler, bigger body move up on the other side and waited for Anni to curl up at his back. The healer placed one hand on his shoulder, gently laying one of the dying man’s hands on Sage’s knee. Sage smiled gently at the girl in Caris’ arms and held his arm’s out to Caris. “Come on, baby. Let’s see if I can do this. Open up that amazing soul of yours. I need more than I have inside me,” he murmured, drawing her to his chest and murmuring against her cheek as they cradled the girl between them.
Falling into the shining, golden reserves that was Caris’ power, Sage drew it inside him, breathing it in, shuddering and feeling his skin draw tight, his heartbeat racing as he built up what he needed before focusing.
Dropping the shields between him and the crowd, Sage drew upon the focal points of those touching him…and flung them into the vortex. The pull of the added strain weighed him down. Sage could feel it, fought against the need to stop and rest, something deadly in the vortex, the gap between here and there.
He crashed into the hard floor of Caris’ house and fell back against Anni, into her arms as they landed, shuddering and dragging air into his starving lungs. His head was burning from the inside as his shields protecting Caris exploded and fell to pieces. She started screaming.
The child flung herself at her father, wailing his name and Anni leaped, pulling her into her arms, whispering gently, “No, lamb. Not yet. Let the good lady help him first.”
And still Caris screamed, her eyes blind with terror, with fear, with guilt, as the emotions that filled the room filled her.
Sage rolled to his knees and crawled to her, reaching out to touch her, to re-establish the shields.
But before he could, Jax had cradled her in his arms, calling her name beseechingly, his eyes panic stricken, wide and stark with terror. Sage could feel a gray oblivion tugging at his mind, but he shoved it back. Unless Kelly or Ari made it here, he was the only one who had dealt with her when she was like this.
Moving gingerly to her side, Jax knelt in front of her and placed one hand on her heart, the other on her cheek. Probing inside the desperate, terrified woman, he stole some of the power that resided there, tapping into it and forcing a shield between her panic-stricken screams and the chaotic emotions that surrounded them, inflicting their madness on her.
Jax tore his eyes away from Caris’ face and asked roughly, “What is going on? What has happened to her?”
“Caris cannot be exposed to such raw emotion, Jax. It will drive her insane. We tried to tell y’all this, but I guess you didn’t want to hear.” His eyes smoldering, he met the vampire’s gaze and said, “Hopefully her screams won’t be the last thing you ever hear from her.”
“Sage—”
But whatever the vampire was going to say was lost as he sank into the dark, tortured recesses of Caris’ mind.
Chapter Thirteen
Jax stroked his hand through Caris’ golden-amber hair, pressing his lips to her brow, searching through his soul for some distant link to her. Nothing…nothing that he recognized anyway. Darkness, despair, wild, unending pain—that he recognized. But nothing of her, nothing that felt right.
When an unrecognizable force shoved at his mind, Jax threw it away and hovered protectively around Caris, waiting desperately for Sage to do something.
I am trying, damn it. Let me in, a dry, aggravated voice said. You have a link to her—I need that, something to bring her back to herself. Now damn it, vampire, let me in.
Lifting his eyes, Jax blinked, throwing off the effects of that powerful voice that had echoed within his mind, through his shields. Meeting Sage’s eyes, he dropped the shields and tried to steady himself as the power of the teleporter rolled through him.
By the Suns…by the Holy One’s blood…Jax thought, clenching his teeth as his head fell back, the veins in his neck bulging out. If he had been standing, he would have fallen. The power was Caris’, borrowed, he could scent it. But the ability within Sage was tremendous. And he had thought teleporting was the man’s true gift.
Relax, I won’t hurt you. Much.
Jax could feel him riffling through his memories, his soul, his mind, as though Sage were searching through a box for a long lost token. Amusement spread from Sage to Jax and the telepath said, Not a bad comparison. But Caris is the one who is lost. I need something to bring her back to herself. You’re the something.
Why didn’t you warn me? Jax asked, cuddling the warm body in his arms closer, rubbing his lips against the pulse in her neck, reassuring himself that her heart still beat, that she still lived.
We tried. But did you really want to hear that Caris can’t face crowds unless I walk at her side? Sage’s disbelief traveled over their connection and then he glowed with self-satisfaction. There you are, baby, all nice and warm…
Jax could feel the memories, that link he had been searching for. Somehow Caris had buried it deep between them and Sage had uncovered it, bringing it to the surface, making Jax’s heart race, his teeth ache, his entire body tense with need. Ease back, lover-boy. She needs the heart and the soul, not the dick, Sage quipped as he withdrew.
Jax focused his gleaming, angry eyes on Sage, and snarled, “I care very little for your words, your sarcasm…your…shiel, veca semylyeca? Heavens, what is this?”
Sage was glowing.
Lowering his hands, Sage cupped Caris’ face in his palms and whispered, “Come back, baby. The pain isn’t waiting for you this time, I swear. Jax won’t let it come back. I won’t let it come back. Open yourself up, Caris.”
Jax dropped his eyes to Caris’ face. No change.
And Sage was still glowing.
“Can she choose to not come back?” he asked.
“Yes,” Sage whispered, rubbing his thumbs in slow, gentle circles. “Talk to her, vampire. Call your lover back to you.”
Sage settled down on his heels, his lids drooping as he reached out to his best friend with his heart. And Jax, he lowered his lips to her ear and started to croon softly to her, whispering, “My love, my lover, come back to me, come back.”
Caris had finally gotten away from that hideous mind-tearing pain. She was safe, warm, and it was blissfully dark and quiet here. Behind Sage’s shield. She knew that. The darkness wasn’t real. She knew that as well. Sage was protecting her again, as he had always done.
And there were voices…part of her knew they were calling to her.
The other part just wanted to cling to the dark, where she was safe, cuddled, warm. Sage wouldn’t make her come out. She knew that, as she cuddled closer to the source of warmth, wrapping herself in his presence as another one pushed ever closer. He’d keep her here, forever, protective, coddling, teasing her once she decided to let him in…
But there was another presence pushing at the edges of the dark, just beyond the barrier of Sage’s shield. A different kind of love, every bit as protective, possessive, full of yearning, full of pain…
No! she thought, whimpering and fleeing back into the dark, away from the shield, damning her own curiosity. She could feel Sage’s weariness, feel him urging her to relax, to let this other person come in.
Warily, she lowered her own shields to Sage, letting him inside before slamming them up, shutting everything out before she could grasp the pain that hovered at the edges of her mind.
Safe, he crooned. I’ll keep you safe…I’ve never lied to you, Caris. Come on, babe. He needs you, loves you.
Caris opened her eyes and blinked, spinning an image in her mind and throwing her and Sage into a dreamscape. When the misty stars dancing in front of her eyes cleared, she found herself crouching on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, her hair spilling around her shoulders, down her back as she lifted her gaze from the floor to look into Sage’s eyes as he knelt in front of her.
She flung herself into his arms, sobbing, thankful to have something tangible to hold onto, even if it was just a dream image. “Sage, I couldn’t handle it. I thought maybe this time…”
“Honey, don’t,” Sage murmured, pressing his lips to her brow. “Don’t. You were fine, until the girl. Children are your weakness, you can’t help that. And if I’d been there, or if Jax had listened—”
Jax…a strangled sob choked her and she pressed her face against his chest.
“Babe, you gotta let him in. He needs you. He can lead you back to us. I can keep the pain away while you find your way back with him, but I can’t do both.” Sage pulled away just a little, cupping her face in his hands. “You don’t want to stay here.”
“It’s safer here,” Caris whispered raggedly, locking her fingers around his strong wrists, feeling the steady beat of his pulse under her fingers.
“Safer? Yeah, safer. And you can stay, if you need to. If you really need it. But you’ll never feel anything real again, no love, no joy, no humor. Never know any laughter again, never see another sunset, never hold a baby, or ride your horses across the land your parents left you,” Sage murmured, combing his fingers through her hair, his hazel eyes dark with understanding. “You’ll never know if we win, when we win. And we will. We have to. There’s so much you’ll never know, babe. Is that worth it?”
“Win what?” she demanded. “They kill more of us, all the time. People hate us. How can we win against that?”
“By showing them that we aren’t what they think,” Sage whispered. “By not giving in. Don’t give in, Caris. Come on, Sugar. You’ve got so many people who love you, need you. Don’t give in to the madness of the world. They have taken too many of us already. Don’t let them take you, too.”
Caris fell against his chest and with a tortured sob, she collapsed the last of her shields.
That overwhelming, powerful presence that hovered just outside her mind coalesced into a shimmering dark blue mist as she stared, frightened, hating herself for her fear, hating Sage for making her listen, the world…
And Jax. He was why she was here, lost inside herself again.
The mist solidified and he stepped out of it, staring around at the dreamscape, confused, his eyes half wild until they locked on her, cuddled against Sage’s chest. The intensity in his eyes frightened her. Such emotion, too much! But before she could burrow more snugly against Sage, he lowered his head and whispered, “He loves you…”
And then Sage was gone, p
ulling himself out of her mind with a simple thought, leaving Caris rocking back and forth, staring at the ground as she waited for Jax to approach.
Run away run away run away…
By the Blood, Jax thought freezing in mid-step. He wasn’t sure of where he was, some surreal plane, one that existed only in Caris’ mind, he was certain, but as Sage winked out of existence, leaving him alone with Caris, Jax suddenly felt adrift.
This was no woman he knew.
Lost, frightened, scared as a wild animal…a hot bolt of need streaked through him and Jax lashed it down. Circling around her, he gave himself time to watch, to wait. She never looked up, never acknowledged him. Oh, she knew he was there. She just didn’t want to face him, see him, touch him…
Reality existed just beyond him and she couldn’t stand the thought of it, he suspected. Boil my sorry flesh in the suns, he wished angrily. Why in the hell hadn’t he listened?
And why hadn’t she pushed harder?
“Damn it all,” he rasped, shaking his head and striding across the distance that separated them. She was here. This was Caris. She wasn’t in that broken, empty-eyed body back in the mortal plane. She had fled to this place within herself and he had to bring her back out or die trying.
Dropping to his knees in front of her, he caught her arms before she could try to scoot away, just as she was realizing he had moved. She jerked away wildly, her eyes wheeling around, glitteringly jewel-bright with tears. “Caris, beloved…”
A strangled sob ripped out of her throat.
“Do not!” Bringing her against his chest, Jax threaded the fingers of one hand through her golden-amber hair, forcing her to look up at him. “You cannot want to stay here, alone for all of your life.”
“Better…than going back…having to do what you expect,” she said, her voice harsh and broken, ragged. “I can’t fight this war the way you want. I have to do it my way.”
Jax felt his heart crumble. She was frightened of him, that he would force her back into what had led her here. “What kind of heartless bastard do you think I am?”
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