by Jo Haldeman
Just when our income situation is looking pretty bleak, Bob receives an offer from CBS to do a five-and-a-half-hour interview with Mike Wallace. It will be videotaped in our living room and aired on 60 Minutes on March 23 and March 30, two consecutive Sunday nights. Bob is pleased. Not only will he receive a substantial amount of money, but he will have the opportunity to get his story across in his own words.
Filming for the interview begins on Monday morning, March 3, when a TV crew sets up a battery of lights and cameras in our living room, and makeup artists take over the patio. At the last minute, Mike Wallace and Bob take their seats in two Windsor chairs in front of the fireplace. Mike is dressed in a dark gray suit and tan Italian loafers. Bob is wearing his tried-and-true blue blazer, gray slacks, and black shoes. Both men have red ties.
Watching from the upstairs landing, I peer down on the scene through the dark wood balustrade with Rufus beside me. I’m fascinated by Mike’s technique as an interviewer. Rather than ask questions, he makes statements and then looks puzzled. Stating that Charles Colson thought Henry Kissinger was unstable at times, Mike raises his eyebrows and looks at Bob.
“President Nixon never thought that Kissinger was unstable,” Bob replies. “Henry had monumental talents. It was just that at times, he was difficult to deal with.”
“Bill Safire wrote that your detestation of the press was as great as Nixon’s,” Mike states, looking pained.
Bob smiles. “I did not detest the press. My realistic evaluation of them as an adversary was not detestation.”
Mike leans forward and comments on Ron Ziegler’s statement that the White House handled Watergate badly.
“I would agree, but I don’t know ‘the why.’” Bob confirms. “Richard Nixon had a good team. I do feel that I used bad judgment in the way I handled Watergate. It was a woeful lack of perception on my part.”
Mike glances at a yellow pad containing his notes. “I understand that Pat Nixon was appalled at the White House tapes and that she blamed you for them.”
“I doubt Mrs. Nixon said that,” Bob replies. “I never talked to her about the tapes. They were installed on her husband’s orders.”
Finally asking a direct question, Mike asks Bob why he didn’t burn the tapes.
Calmly folding his hands in his lap, Bob says, “At one time, the president discussed that with me, but my strong opinion was not to destroy them. Obviously, this was another one of my errors in judgment. I believed the tapes would be invaluable, and I continued to believe that they would prove my innocence.”
Mike recalls that Bob once told him that Nixon was one of the weirdest men ever to sit in the White House. Mike raises his eyebrows in concern.
“He was a complex, paradoxical man,” Bob says. “The more you know of a complex man, the more perplexing you find him. President Nixon’s whole make-up goes in two directions…very public, very private. He’s tough in the abstract, soft in the specific. In some ways, he was cold. But in some ways, he was very warm, very emotional…sentimental.”
Mike asks Bob who he thinks is “Deep Throat.”
Bob shrugs. “I haven’t thought much about it, but my best guess is Mark Felt. I assume it was someone in the FBI, and Felt was the associate director at the time.
Every now and then, Mike stops the filming either to be briefed by his staff or to collect his thoughts. He ruins several “takes” by using profanity. Bob has no notes and remains poised and unflappable.
When the interviews are over, I compliment Bob on his composure, as well as his clear, concise answers. He shows me a list of ten objectives that he had written down earlier. One of them is to “raise each question to a higher philosophic plane.”
The two 60 Minute interviews get extremely high ratings, but CBS is criticized for paying a convicted felon. In a two-page story titled, “Haldeman Comes Out of his Shell to Claim a $25,000 TV Pearl,” People magazine states, “Recently, H. R. (‘Bob’) Haldeman, Nixon’s master intriguer, picked up a fast $25,000 without ever leaving his own living room…” Bracing myself for another round of negative publicity, I wish others could see the side of Bob that I do—his close family ties, dedication to church, strength of character, and sense of humor.
I Find a Purpose
April 1975
On April 21, President Thieu resigns, and nine days later, the capital of South Vietnam falls. The sight is heartbreaking as hundreds of local civilians frantically try to flee Saigon. With twelve provinces and more than eight million people under the control of North Vietnam, the war is over.
Fifty-eight thousand Americans lost their lives. For what?
Former president Nixon remains isolated in San Clemente, where he is working on his memoir. Reportedly, his spirits are good, despite the fact that he has high blood pressure and needs to take anticoagulant drugs to fend off any recurrence of his phlebitis.
May 1975
Seeking a collaborator for his book, Bob approaches John Toland, the noted author of The Rising Sun. When he is turned down, it seems to affect me more than it does Bob. While he immediately starts working on other possibilities, I sit and stew. Why aren’t things moving forward? If only there were something that I could do.
On a damp, foggy morning in May, I’m home alone. Despondent, I drop down on the couch in the family room. Yesterday, this room was filled with noisy tenth-graders, as Ann and her friends worked on their class banner. Today, the room is lifeless and ominously quiet. Sitting motionless, I stare out at the garden.
My thoughts are random and self-centered. Why isn’t it sunny? I’m cold. Why did Bob and I ever buy this couch? The fabric is itchy, and the blue plaid pattern is ugly. I hate my life right now. Friends think that I am strong, but I’m not. I have nothing worthwhile to offer.
Startled by Rufus’ wet nose nuzzling me, I catch myself. I know better than to waste my time feeling sorry for myself. I need to put my trust in a higher source. I repeat the words of a hymn:
O Lord, I would delight in Thee,
And on Thy care depend;
To Thee in every trouble flee,
My best, my ever Friend.
June–August 1975
Peter’s graduation from high school on Friday, June 6, is a happy occasion. Filled with pride, Bob and I watch as he receives his diploma from Harvard School.
NBC does a special report on Watergate on August 9, the anniversary of President Ford’s first year in office. Twenty-one men in the Nixon administration have been sentenced to prison. When I hear that John Ehrlichman has walked out on Jeanne, I am shocked. My mind is flooded with the many happy memories our family has shared with John, Jeanne, and their five children. Although she referred to him as a “broken man” at the trial, I never thought things would go this far.
From press reports, I think I would hardly recognize John now. Sporting a “salt and pepper beard,” he lives in a rented adobe house in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Described as leading a bohemian lifestyle, he writes novels and provides pro bono legal help for the Pueblo Indians.
October 1975
Things continue to be on hold in Bob’s life. He still doesn’t have a collaborator or a publisher, and nothing has materialized in the appeal process. The possibility of his going to prison is becoming more of a reality with each passing day. Periodically, he meets with his lawyers in Washington, but mostly he works on his book. Setting aside large chunks of time for research, he has accumulated stacks of yellow pads filled with notes written in longhand.
I feel for Bob. It is hard to see him working so diligently on a book without any interest being shown by a publisher. And it’s hard waiting to hear on his appeal. I am increasingly frustrated. With Bob not employed, we have no money coming in, and I desperately want to contribute. It bothers me to continue living as if nothing has changed. My life seems so superficial.
The days drag. Even the children aren’t around much. S
usan and Hank both live on the west side of town and attend UCLA. She has transferred from Boalt, and he’s a senior, working part-time for Mike Curb Productions. Peter is a freshman at Vassar College, and Ann, the only one of our children now living at home, is a junior at Marlborough.
November–December 1975
I finally find a purpose. After attending an all-day church seminar, I drive home with an old high school friend. Lucy Ann Bell is the top residential real estate broker nationally for Coldwell Banker. She tells me that she has been searching for an assistant, and I mention that I’m looking for a job that will be both meaningful and lucrative. Before long, we both realize that our needs have been met, and the two of us agree to team up. Before working for her, however, I must pass the California Real Estate Exam and get my license. Bob is pleased to hear about my prospective job, and he gives me a real estate course for Christmas.
I’m eager to start the weekly classes at Anthony Real Estate School in Hollywood, and I am confident that I will make a difference in Lucy’s life—and in Bob’s. I feel good about myself.
Appeal Denied
January–March 1976
In the news, Premier Chou En-lai dies at the age of seventy-eight. Former ambassador to China George H. W. Bush is sworn in as director of the CIA. A subway system is opened in the nation’s capital.
During the first three months of 1976, I spend my days either in class at Anthony School or studying. I’m determined to get a perfect score on the California real estate test.
When the movie All the President’s Men, starring Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman as Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, is released, Bob and I are anxious to see it. Trying to avoid being recognized, we slip into a small neighborhood theater for an afternoon matinee. It’s hard for us to experience the unraveling of the Nixon administration all over again, but fortunately Bob isn’t featured much. On the whole, it’s an entertaining movie. I’m sure the film will become a classic, keeping the story of Watergate alive for future generations.
April 1976
On April 2, Dwight Chapin is released from the Federal Prison Camp in Lompoc, California, after serving nine months. Two weeks later, I pass the real estate test and treat myself to a banana split. The following day, I report to work at the Hancock Park office of Coldwell Banker as Lucy’s assistant. I’m given a desk of my own, right up front, directly behind the receptionist. Under Lucy’s tutelage, I show houses to her clients, go on caravans, hold open houses, attend office meetings, write ads, and organize her files. I learn by doing and am busier than I’ve ever been. I have no time to think about myself.
Only a month after joining Lucy, I’m left in charge of her business while she takes off for a week’s vacation in Hawaii. Working long hours and foregoing regular meals, I follow up on her many deals and consummate the sale of five homes in five days. It’s a whirlwind experience, in which I learn far more about real estate than I ever did at Anthony School.
Bob is proud of my accomplishments. While I’m rarely home and I worry about his spending so much time working alone in his upstairs office, I am grateful to have my job. It’s demanding, gets me out, and provides income.
Summer 1976
Our country celebrates its two hundredth birthday on the Fourth of July. In New York, fifteen tall ships sail up the Hudson River, and in Washington DC, a million people cheer during the fireworks when “1776–1976 Happy Birthday USA” lights up the sky.
Red, white, and blue pinwheels line the brick walk at #11, and streamers, flags, a cutout of Uncle Sam, and other patriotic decorations festoon the house. When Bob’s family arrives, Daddy greets them in his five-foot-long Fourth of July tie. Mother wears a red costume covered in large white stars. In her extended left hand, she holds a sparkler that my sister lights, and everyone sings a rousing round of “The Star Spangled Banner.”
What a bittersweet occasion this must be for Nixon. He was so looking forward to celebrating the Bicentennial during his presidency.
Unless Bob’s conviction is overturned in the appeal process, he will go to prison next June. Realizing that this could be Bob’s last summer at home for several years, Lucy gives me a lot of flexibility in my work schedule so I can be with him as much as possible at Bay Island.
October 1976
As the country gears up for another election, I wonder if Bob ever longs for those high-pressure days on the campaign trail. Saddled with a slow economy and the political price he paid for pardoning Nixon, President Ford is in a tough fight for the presidency against Jimmy Carter, the governor of Georgia. A former peanut farmer, Carter is campaigning as a Washington outsider and a reformer.
The US Circuit Court of Appeals denies Bob’s appeal. Although his lawyers state publicly that they intend to take the case to the Supreme Court, they tell Bob that this is a long shot. He has nowhere else to turn. This is it. In eight months, Bob will be going to prison. I’ve got to keep myself on an even keel. I want to be strong for Bob and the children, as well as the rest of the family.
On October 28, John Ehrlichman enters prison early. Convicted in both the Ellsberg and Watergate trials, he will serve his two sentences concurrently. It’s heartbreaking to watch him on TV as he enters Swift Trail Federal Prison in Tucson, Arizona. However, a call I receive from Jeanne affects me more. John has told her that he wants a divorce. I am speechless.
The David Frost Interviews
November 1976
On November 2, with only a two-percentage-point lead in the popular vote, Jimmy Carter narrowly defeats President Ford.
While Bob continues to struggle to find an agent and a publisher for his book, John Dean’s memoir, Blind Ambition, is released and immediately appears on the bestseller list. In it, the former counsel to the president presents his side of the Watergate story. Portraying himself as a victim and pointing the finger at others in the White House, Dean also admits to wrongdoing. My emotions are too raw for me to read it.
January–February 1977
James Earl Carter is sworn in as the thirty-ninth president of the United States on January 20. In his inaugural address, Carter pledges “to aid Americans in regenerating a spirit of trust.” As an example of that spirit, he and his family break tradition during the inaugural parade and walk down Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House.
Following the inaugural events on television, I keep thinking about “what could have been.” Without Watergate, Nixon would be retiring from office today. If he had been able to complete two full terms as president, he could well have attained a working coalition of the New American Majority, ended the Vietnam War, brought about prosperity without inflation, and achieved a generation of peace in the world. Without Watergate, Bob would be returning to Los Angeles as a well-respected businessman after an eight-year stint as chief of staff of the White House. Presumably, there would have been no lack of interesting job offers, as well as speaking engagements and opportunities to serve on both community and corporate boards.
As it is, Bob is a convicted felon with no means of support and an uncertain future. I know his name will always be associated with Watergate.
March–May 1977
It’s reassuring to see how polite and supportive strangers generally are when they see Bob. He even has his own rooting section at the UCLA basketball games. Whenever he raises his arm during halftime, a group of students across the court stands up and cheers.
Bob tells me about an experience he had in the coffee shop at the Miami Airport. He was eating lunch when all but one of the waitresses excitedly rushed out of the restaurant. When Bob asked what was happening, the remaining waitress told him that H. R. Haldeman had been spotted in the terminal.
Envisioning the scene, I laugh. “Did you tell her who you were?”
“No,” Bob replies. “We just chatted about how exciting it was.”
◆
With no word yet on the Supreme
Court appeal, I’m becoming more resigned to the fact that Bob will have to go to prison. In the meantime, after being out of the public eye for almost three years, former president Nixon goes public in a big way. He agrees to be interviewed by David Frost, a thirty-eight-year-old British journalist and media personality.
The first of the four shows airs on May 4, and Bob is eager to hear what the president has to say. His expectations are high, and he doesn’t want to wait for the delayed broadcast on the West Coast. Instead, he listens “live,” as Rob Odle, former staff assistant to the president, holds the phone up to his television set in Alexandria, Virginia.
When Bob comes into the kitchen later, I can tell that he’s not pleased. “The interview focused on Watergate, and it’s really bad,” he says. “The president put the blame on Ehrlichman and me.”
My heart sinks. Why? Why would Nixon turn on Bob and John? Frustrated, I plunge a knife into a potato I am cutting up to add to the corned beef cooking on the stove.
When the interview is shown on the West Coast, Bob and I watch it in the den as we eat dinner. Although he had warned me, I am taken aback. Not only does Nixon blame the cover-up on his two aides, but he claims that his only guilt was in not firing Haldeman and Ehrlichman earlier.
I feel for Bob, who is sitting on the couch next to me taking notes. “There’s no way the president can sever himself from John and me,” he says. “The tapes are proof of that. He was part of every discussion we had about saving and protecting his presidency.”
As soon as the interview is over, my father calls. Although he has always been a staunch Nixon supporter, Daddy is upset, and for the first time I hear him criticize the former president. “Please tell Bob how disappointed I am with Nixon,” he says. “When the chips are down, no honorable man would avoid the responsibility and loyalty due to his staff. The captain goes down with the ship. He does not leap off.”
