Just because he did something, though, didn’t mean he enjoyed it. Greer had become numb to everything. It was how he coped. Greer put up his walls and shut down. His smiled held no joy, his laugh no satisfaction. The sound was flat when it came out. Only those on the tour noticed but no one said much of anything.
A hand landed on his shoulder as he stared out at the darkening city. Jason stood beside him, smiling with the feeling Greer had no access to anymore. “Love this view,” he said in simple delight.
Greer grunted in agreement.
“Food’s here.”
He nodded.
“Suppose we should go eat some?”
Greer looked cautiously over at his friend. He couldn’t help but notice that Jason’s hand was still on his shoulder.
“Suppose so,” he said.
“Great!” Jason smiled.
He made Greer go first. Something shady was going on. Jason pushed him out of his room into the common area where Sawyer and Rory sat with a dozen different kinds of tacos, as was tradition when they were anywhere in the southwest. Usually, this kind of meal would elicit a ravenous feeding frenzy that looked similar to Hungry Hungry Hippos. Today, however, the guys looked on at the tacos with as much desire as he had appetite.
“Sit,” Jason said as he pushed him into a chair.
“Aw hell,” Greer cursed as he figured it out. “This is a fucking intervention, isn’t it?” He knew the drill; he’d been on the other side of this with Nix countless times.
“Dude, you need to get out of this funk. It’s seriously bringing everyone down,” Rory stated. “What you need is to go out there find a girl and sleep with her. You don’t even have to be good. Just do the deed. It will make you feel better.”
He didn’t have any kind of response to that.
Sawyer apparently did have a response and tossed a tomato at him. “Shut up.”
“What?” he asked as he searched out the lost tomato on his jeans. “All I’m saying is that you knew the girl a few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, she was pretty awesome but there are a lot of other awesome women out there.”
Greer really, really did not want to do this. He had a plan and was trying to stick to it. Aveline held all the power right now. He was hanging by a finger over a gorge and she would either let him fall or toss him a rope.
She’d tell him, one way or the other, and then he’d be free. Until then Greer planned to keep every thought and emotion under lock and key.
“Have you talked to her?” Jason asked even though he knew the answer. They all did. What they didn’t know was that he had sent her flowers and one of those edible fruit things with that chocolate dipped pineapple. What did you send someone as an apology for getting manhandled and mauled at? Fruit, flowers, chocolate and a card telling her to take all the time she needed was the best he had come up with.
“No, I haven’t. Are we done?”
Jason snorted. “Not even close. You talk to Rob at all?”
Actually, he had. Rob kept him up on Aveline news. It was a new form of torment that Greer liked to subject himself to. Rob was just trying to be nice and he appreciated the sentiment but those status updates gutted him.
She was trying to work things out. She had gone to the doctor after Rob had nagged her long enough and she was given something to help her sleep. Since then she was pepping up. Rob got her to open up about what happened with Jamie and he thought that she was making progress with everything. Every day the text would read something like, “Getting there! Just a bit more time and all this will feel like a bad vacation.”
“Ok, look. This is bullshit. You’re obviously hurt and probably pissed off too. I would be. But you need to talk to us, G. This automatron thing you’ve got going on is getting creepy.”
“It’s ok to admit that you fell for her,” Sawyer said jumping in. “We all know that you love Aveline.”
And this was exactly why he didn’t want to talk about this.
Greer took a deep breath, prayed for strength now to kill his best friends, and exhaled.
“I am going to say this once and then we are changing the topic. I do love Aveline and I also respect that she needs to deal with this situation in her own way. Do I think it’s going to end in my favor? No.” Jason frowned. He had other thoughts on the matter. Thought’s he could keep to himself. “Do you know what it feels like want to comfort someone but have them cringe at the sight of you? Aveline couldn’t even look at me. How is that a relationship?”
“But the thing with Jamie had just happened the night before. It was all fresh,” Jason argued.
“The thing? You mean when my twin brother tried to rape my girlfriend?” he asked incredulously. “Yeah, it had just happened but I don’t think I can handle having her look at me with that fear again.”
“You just need to give it a few more days. She’ll come around.”
Jason, ever the optimist.
Greer rubbed a hand down his face. “Can we talk about something else now?” he begged.
Sawyer decided to jump in with his second least favorite topic. “How’s Jamie doing in rehab?”
Well, fuck me sideways.
“He’s not. He left.”
“What!”
Thank God they didn’t have a show that night because after this, Greer was locking himself in his room with a dozen of those tacos and a bottle of tequila. “He was there for four days and bailed. Mom and Dad said he called half a dozen times but they have not answered any. They are sticking to the plan.”
“Do you know where he is now?” Sawyer asked.
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
He stood, having had enough girl talk for a millennia. “Now, I’m going to be taking these,” he said grabbing a container of tacos and another of rice. “And I’m going to my room.”
They had gotten all they would out of him. He’d been more of a Chatty Kathy than he had planned to be and if they ever found out he felt a bit better for it he’d never hear the end of it. Greer nodded to Jason, the most of a thank you he was going to get and retreated to his room.
*****
“So the bottom line is that we need to make some cut backs.”
Aveline glanced around the restaurant wondering the same thing they all were. Who was getting fired? For the last few weeks there had been rumors spreading about the lack of shifts available. They had a prime location right on the main drag and the owners were always being offered deals from chain restaurants trying to get the spot. She had heard something about the owner’s son getting into some gambling trouble and cleaning them out but Bill and Martha never let on about any kind of financial troubles. The restaurant was always busy so the lack of shifts didn’t make sense at first but if what some of the line chefs were saying was true about them filing for bankruptcy, then Aveline might be out of a job.
“We hate to do this,” Bill said looking over his employees. “And know that we don’t want to but in order to continue to run this needs to happen. Mark, Ashlee and Aveline, I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I’m so damn sorry.”
It didn’t come as a surprise that she was fired. The way her life was going, she was surprised she hadn’t lost everything including the house. No matter how hard she tried, Aveline could not shake the funk her life had taken on.
Mark cursed and walked out. He had always been a hot head. Ashlee and Aveline accepted hugs and apologies. Bill offered to give them both references and if a time came that he needed help, he would call them first. She appreciated the sentiment but Aveline knew the moment she walked out those doors she would never walk back through them.
An hour after arriving at work for her shift, she was leaving. It was a really stupid move on her part and she would be regretting it when her electric bill was due but Aveline went down the street and ordered the largest, chocolatiest, frozen drink from Starbucks…with extra chocolate syrup.
As she sipped the drink, the drink that unfortunately gave her little satisfaction, Aveline contemplated her
next move. She needed another job. She had told Greer that three weeks ago back when her hours had been cut. At the time, the prospect of another job was not attractive, not that it was now either, but things had been different then.
And now she was thinking about Greer. Great.
It always fell back to him. No matter what she was doing her mind reverted back to Greer. Over the last three weeks there had been numerous close calls with accidental texts. It’s like, for a moment, she would completely forget about everything and pull out her phone to tell him something only to catch herself halfway through composing the message. Then she would wonder why she didn’t just send the message and see what happened. But that was stupid because they hadn’t talked in so long and he was waiting for her to contact him so the first words from her should not be “What if The Game of Thrones is a battle that has already happened and we are just having the story read to us?”
At this point, Aveline was stuck with what to do. There was a perfect out if she wanted it. He would never fault her for it, either. If she was too scared from what happened, then he would understand and cut his losses. But Aveline wasn’t sure if she wanted that. It had taken a few days for the initial shock to wear off but now that it had, she felt like a fool. They were identical twins but when she sat down and pictured each of them in detail, she realized that there were more differences than similarities.
Plus, her imagination exaggerated some of the more noticeable differences so the Jamie in her head looked more like a caricature than a person.
So she could reach out to Greer. But if she did then she was saying that this was something serious, something to fight for. With her life basically revolving around her mom’s care, was there room for someone else?
*****
“He’s goin’ at it hard.”
Jason looked over to the closed door to the only real room on the bus. After they ate breakfast, Greer had locked himself away and began composing. “Sounds good though.”
Sawyer nodded. “Can’t decide if I like it better with the piano or guitar.”
“I heard him humming earlier. I think he might have lyrics for this one,” Rory added.
Jason got up and tossed the remote at Sawyer. “I’ll go see what I can help with.”
Greer glanced up as the door opened and then his eyes darted back down to the paper he was scribbling on. “Hey.”
“You need some drums yet?” Jason asked. He picked up the violin from the bed and put it back in its case so he could sit.
Greer sat back in his chair and pushed the song he had been working on towards Jason. Had it been any of the other guys he would have squandered the song away until it was damn near perfect. Jason and Greer worked differently though. He felt comfortable sharing his work in progress with Jason because he knew that the drummer would see where he was taking it and help him get it there.
As Jason scanned the page, getting a feel for the song, he started to pound out a beat in the air. “I like it. I’ve got a few ideas for drums. Let me grab the tablet.” Jason disappeared and Greer heard him say something about this being their next single. It made Greer snort. Jason always thought every new song was their next single. He came back a minute later with the tablet and set up. Jason was at a disadvantage because his instrument didn’t travel easily. He had to resort to electronic versions when on the road. It wasn’t perfect but it gave them an idea of the sound.
They played. Music came easy between them. Since it was Greer’s song he led off with the guitar that Rory would play and Jason added his beat. Already, he was envisioning the where he would add in Sawyer and if he wanted violin added. That depended all on who sang it. With Sawyer’s grittier voice Greer could add more of a dirty sounding violin. But if Nix sang it, the piano might accompany it better.
They hit the chorus and Greer hummed out a few lines.
“You have lyrics too?” Jason asked surprised but impressed. Greer usually left the lyrics to Nix or Sawyer. He came up with something from time to time but Nix was always there to help him take it further. The man was a poet.
“Some. Nothing that good.” The song had a turmoil to it that reminded him of the ocean. It was big and beautiful, sometimes it was serene, other times it was wicked. The melody was the same way. There was a high tide during the chorus but then it would dip low.
“Let me see,” Jason asked with his hand out. Greer slid him another piece of paper with some lyrics on it. Not all of them were coherent, many just words or feelings he wanted to express better. Jason read through his notes, his head nodding. Murmurs and grunts came as he went. At one point he grabbed a pen and added something.
“You’ve caught me like a riptide. Pullin’ me under and draggin’ me deep. Nice line.”
“Thanks.”
“The tide’s getting stronger, your love’s grabbing harder, my breath is getting weaker as I give up the fight.” Jason stopped reading and handed back the paper. “You’ve got something there. Think she’ll know it’s about her?”
Greer flattened his mouth and looked back at the stings as he strummed the guitar. “Never said it was about Aveline.”
“Didn’t have to. You’ve never written a song for a girl before. Your turtle, your lost skateboard, your mom and your fascination with fire all got a song over the years but never a woman.” Jason let Greer not acknowledge him as he played through it again from the top. “You know she is going to love it.”
“Who said she’s ever going to hear it?”
Jason shook his head. “You’ve got to have faith, dude.”
Greer gave a noncommittal grunt.
“Last thing and then I’ll shut up. You don’t write a girl a song if she is just a passing fling, especially if this is you. When you stop fighting it and just admit that you love the girl and want her in your life in more ways than just a phone call here and a booty call there, then these words are going to flow much easier.” He tapped on the paper with the lyrics.
Greer didn’t say anything. Couldn’t. Jason was so optimistic sometimes it made him nauseous. Greer had a bit more realist approach to life. “I told her I’d give her time and space. That’s what I’m doing. My feelings, whatever they may be, are on hold until then. I will neither confirm nor deny what I feel for Aveline because right now there is nothing to feel. I’ll go crazy if I allow myself to continue to harvest these,” Greer rubbed at his chest and then patted three steady beats, “these growing emotions for her when I don’t know if she will ever be able to look me in the eye again. So as I wait, I will play. Simple as that.”
Greer flashed his eyes up to Jason. The deep brown pleading silently with Jason to let it be. Greer was on the edge of losing it altogether. Thank god his best friend didn’t need words to understand the things he couldn’t say out loud. Jason picked up his sticks again, twirling one around his finger.
“So we play?”
“Yeah,” Greer said with a nod. “We play.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Ohhhh naughty!” Rob said from behind her. Aveline slammed her laptop shut and turned to glare at him.
“They weren’t naughty,” she stated defensively. The pictures of Greer from last night’s show on their fan page were completely and totally PG. Just because it was her estranged boyfriend looking totally hot while he was completely into his music with his eyes closed and his face the picture of contentment didn’t mean it was dirty.
Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She pulled up pictures of their last few shows and was happy to see him so deep into his music. It was the candid pictures of when he wasn’t playing that concerned her. Greer looked so down, and if she wasn’t mistaken, guilty. He smiled but the emotion wasn’t behind the action. He talked and signed autographs but his mind was elsewhere. Many of the fans were wondering what was up with him. Some guessed drugs, others thought they had broken up. Many going as far as calling her a bitch and a home wrecker.
Like they knew anything?
Rob’s interruption had com
e at a good time. Aveline was supposed to be starting dinner.
“By the drool on your chin, I’d say otherwise. Have you called him yet?” Rob went to the fridge and pulled out a soda. He was dressed in scrubs and about to head into work.
“No.”
“And why not?”
This last week he had started in on her. “What’s Greer doing?” “Have you talked to Greer yet?” “Put the boy out of his misery and call him already!” The nagging was annoying but she knew he was right. Aveline had kept him waiting for too long. Actually, she was surprised he hadn’t reached out more beyond those flowers she received that first week. He was keeping to her wishes and giving her time and space.
Well both those things sucked.
“You need to talk to him.”
“I know,” she moaned. “I just don’t know what to say.”
Rob rolled his eyes. “You say ‘Hey Greer, I’m sorry it took so long. I’m being an idiot. I love you. I miss you. Blah blah blah. Can we still be butt buddies?’”
“Rob!” Aveline leaned over the table and smacked him. “We are not butt buddies.”
He took the pain like a champ. “If you don’t know what to say then just go see him. Your presence will be enough. He’ll be so thrilled that you won’t need to talk and you can just get to the good stuff, makeup sex.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
Aveline didn’t immediately shoot down the idea. They were in Hershey, Pennsylvania for a show that night. It was drivable. All she’d have to do is find a way to get backstage and…
“Ooooh! You are considering it! This is fabulous. Do you need me to call a nurse for the day? I know Bonnie could use the money and today is her day off.”
Aveline would regret it later and she would have eight hours to go back and forth over bailing on the plan or figuring out how to actually go through with it but she nodded and said yes, which caused Rob to scream and toss his hands in the air.
“Finally you are talkin’ sense.”
The fact that she had decided to do this incredibly insane thing so quickly confirmed two things. That she cared for Greer more than she was letting on and that she was ready to make this something more. The details on how the relationship would function could be hashed out later. If they wanted it to work, then they would make it work. People did the long distance thing all the time. Plus, he wouldn’t be touring forever and then they could spend some extended time together. Aveline was even thinking of introducing him to her mom.
Chance (Rusted and Reckless Book 1) Page 13
