by T E Kinsey
‘You’re right, of course,’ he said.
‘Splendid. And now that crisis is averted, what say Miss Buffrey and I take breakfast up one last time? And then, sort of loiter within earshot so we don’t miss out on anything.’
He sighed. ‘Very well,’ he said. ‘At least you’ll be out of the way while I try to get everyone organized.’
We hurried to the kitchen to fetch the first trays before he thought better of it.
Miss Titmus and Lady Hardcastle were already in the dining room when we arrived, and had helped themselves to coffee from the great silver pot on the sideboard.
‘Ah, there you are,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Why are you carrying food? Have all the staff done a bunk?’
‘We wanted to lurk in the company of our betters,’ I said. ‘Such that we might try to lift ourselves above our humble origins by taking wisdom from their learned discourse.’
‘And earwig on the gossip.’
‘That, too, my lady,’ I said. ‘Sausage?’
‘No one’s called me “Sausage” for years,’ she said, almost wistfully. ‘Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, please. Shove them down over there, and I’ll help myself in a moment.’
Mrs Beddows came into the room, wearing a high-collared blouse to hide the marks on her neck. She saw the four of us, and it seemed, for a moment at least, as though she might turn round and head straight back out again.
‘Roz, darling,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘How are you, my dear? Come and sit down. Let me get something for you.’
Mrs Beddows smiled weakly and sat at the dining table.
‘Here you are, dear,’ said Lady Hardcastle as she and Miss Titmus sat with her. ‘Get that down you.’
‘Thank you,’ croaked Mrs Beddows. She looked up and saw Betty and me. ‘Ah, Buffrey,’ she said. ‘Mr Waterford has persuaded me that I owe you an apology. I’ve treated you badly. I shall pay your wages until you find a new position, of course.’
‘Thank you, madam,’ said Betty. ‘You’re very kind.’
‘I can’t see you out on your ear. I shall do all I can to help. You’ll have a glowing reference, of course.’
‘Actually, Roz,’ said Miss Titmus, ‘she already has a new position. She’s going to be working for me as lady’s maid and photographer’s assistant.’
‘Is she?’ said Mrs Beddows. ‘Is she, indeed? Well, good for you. The both of you.’
Mr Waterford breezed in. ‘Good morning, darling,’ he said when he saw Mrs Beddows. Belatedly, he noticed the other two ladies at the table. ‘And good morning to you as well, ladies. How is everyone today?’
‘Passing well, Monty,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Mustn’t grumble.’
‘One must not,’ he said. ‘I, er, I wonder if I could . . .’
‘Yes, dear?’ she said.
‘Well, I was going to ask if Roz and I might have a moment’s privacy.’ Looking round, he noticed Betty and me for the first time. ‘But . . . well . . . I didn’t know the room was so . . . Oh, hang it all. There’ll be a scandal no matter what, once all this comes out. Roz, darling, I want you to leave James and come and live with me.’
‘He’ll never give me a divorce,’ she croaked. ‘He needs my money.’
‘I’ll settle his hash, don’t you worry. I simply couldn’t bear it yesterday when I thought I might lose you forever.’
I, for one, was beginning to wish that he had sent us out after all, but we were saved further embarrassment by the arrival of Harry and Lady Lavinia.
‘What ho, you chaps,’ said Harry as he limped in with Lady Lavinia on his arm. ‘I say, everyone’s here.’
‘Except Fishy, dear,’ said Lady Lavinia.
‘Except Fishy what?’ said Lord Riddlethorpe from behind her.
‘Ah, splendid,’ said Harry. ‘Lavinia and I have a bit of news. An announcement, as it were.’ He stood and grinned foolishly for a moment. ‘We are engaged to be married. And you’re all invited.’
There were delighted cheers, kisses, and hugs all round as their friends congratulated them.
‘That’s ten bob you owe me, Flo, dear,’ said Lady Hardcastle when the hubbub had died down.
‘Were my romantic entanglements the subject of vulgar wagering, sis?’ said Harry.
‘Of course, dear. I’m always on the lookout for something to make you seem more interesting. You’re such a tragically dull fellow.’
‘Well, of all the . . .’ he said.
‘At least I bet on you popping the question,’ she said. ‘It was Flo here who doubted your resolve.’
‘Strong Arm!’ he said. ‘How could you? I thought we were friends.’
‘We are, sir,’ I said. ‘I just thought Lady Lavinia would have seen you off long before you got the chance to propose.’
I ducked the slice of toast that came sailing my way.
Packing to go home is always a great deal simpler than packing to go away. There are no decisions to be made, nor is there any great need to pack with the same thoughtfulness and care. As long as it all fitted in the cases and trunks, that was fine – we were going to need to unpack it all and get it cleaned as soon as we got home anyway.
And so the packing proceeded with pleasing swiftness.
Lady Hardcastle was sitting at the desk by the window, writing in her journal as I folded a dinner dress.
‘Oh, for . . .’ I said.
‘Yes, dear? I discern that you might have a problem of some sort. Is it something I can help you with?’
‘This frock, my lady,’ I said, holding it up.
‘Ah, yes. I love that one. Any darker and it would be black by candlelight. Any paler and it would look brash and tawdry. It’s from that dressmaker in Clifton. We should go back there. She does wonderful work.’
‘It’s very fetching,’ I said. ‘But I doubt the sincerity of your protestations of love.’
‘You do?’
‘Yes, my lady. If you loved it, I’m certain you wouldn’t have ripped it.’
‘Ah, yes. I thought you might scold me for that.’
‘How on earth . . . ?’
‘You remember I was wearing it the other evening when Uncle Algy insisted we join him in his game?’
‘Jean-Pierre’s Magical Vineyard,’ I said.
‘Just so. There was that moment when Harry and Jake had finished “grafting the rootstock” – quite illegally, I might add; it was Jake’s turn, and Harry had no business helping her with her débuttage like that – well, I got it caught on something. The chair, I think.’
I sighed.
‘Oh, don’t be like that, dear. You’d get so very bored if you didn’t have things to mend.’
With the packing done, I went below stairs to say goodbye to the household staff. Mr Spinney was nowhere to be seen, but I found Mrs Ruddle in the housekeeper’s room.
‘Look at me, dear,’ she said with a cheery smile. ‘A housekeeper. I shouldn’t be doing this sort of work. They need me in the kitchen. Poor Patty, she’ll be all at sixes and sevens.’
‘It suits you, Mrs R,’ I said. ‘Gives you an air of authority.’
‘I have plenty of authority in my kitchen,’ she said. ‘Skilled work it is, too. You wouldn’t put an engineer to work in an office, would you?’
‘Well . . .’ I began. But I thought better of it. ‘No, Mrs R, you’re right. But it’s just a temporary measure, I’m sure. You’ll have a new housekeeper in no time, and then you’ll all be back to normal.’
‘I dare say,’ she dared to say. ‘But enough of my belly-aching, my dear. What can I do for you?’
‘I just came to say my farewells and offer my thanks to you all for your warm hospitality.’
‘It’s been a pleasure having you, my dear. And it’s we who should be thanking you. Without you and your mistress, we might have lost poor Mrs Beddows as well as Dawkins and Mr Kovacs.’
There was a tentative knock at the door.
‘You wanted to see me, Mrs R?’ It was Evan Gudger.
&
nbsp; ‘Ah, Evan, yes. Mr Spinney has had to go into town. He asked me to tell you to see to the wine for tonight’s dinner.’
‘But that’s the head footman’s duties,’ he said.
‘That it is,’ said Mrs Ruddle. ‘And what do you suppose that means?’
‘Blimey.’
‘Blimey, indeed, young man. You’d best make sure your livery’s brushed and pressed, and your shoes and buttons polished, hadn’t you.’
‘Congratulations, Evan,’ I said. ‘A well-deserved promotion.’
‘Thank you, miss,’ he said. ‘Thank you, Mrs R.’
‘Off you go, lad. You’ve a lot to do.’
He hurried out of the room, wearing quite the most enormous smile.
‘He’ll be all right, that boy,’ said Mrs Ruddle. ‘He’s been a different lad since you’ve been here. I don’t know what you said to him, but he’s quite the new man.’
‘I just trusted him and gave him something interesting to do,’ I said.
‘Well, it’s done the trick. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to stay?’ She winked at me.
‘No, Mrs R, I must go where my lady leads.’
‘You stick with her, my dear,’ she said. ‘She’s a good ’un.’
‘Quite the very best.’
Unknown hands brought our cases, bags, and trunks down to the hall. All I had to do was mention our imminent departure to the new head footman, and they appeared, as if by magic.
I waited by the luggage while Lady Hardcastle said her goodbyes. As Morgan and one of the other footmen loaded everything into the Rolls-Royce, a succession of new friends came to wish us well.
While Lady Hardcastle was forcing Miss Titmus to promise to come to Gloucestershire as soon as she was able, Betty sidled over to me and gave me an unexpected hug.
‘I’m so glad to have met you,’ she said. ‘It looks like we’ll be seeing more of each other, too.’
‘I do hope so,’ I said.
‘I don’t know the first thing about photography,’ she said. ‘I don’t know how much use I’m going to be to her.’
‘You’ll soon pick it up. Or not. It doesn’t matter. Lady Hardcastle has been dabbling for a few years now, and I just smile and nod. As long as you hold whatever it is they want you to hold when they want you to hold it, I find it all goes smoothly enough.’
‘Oh, but I want to learn,’ she said earnestly. ‘It’s tremendously exciting.’
‘Good for you, Betty Buffrey. I hope you have a wonderful time.’
‘Thank you for saving the old trout,’ she said. ‘I still think she’s quite the vilest woman ever to wear bloomers, but I’d not wish her dead.’
I laughed. ‘It’s entirely my pleasure,’ I said. ‘I’ve not stuck anyone with a blade for simply ages. I was beginning to miss it.’
It was her turn to laugh.
‘Come along, Buffrey,’ said Miss Titmus. ‘I think we should leave Lady Hardcastle to her goodbyes. And I want to show you the darkroom.’
Mrs Beddows and Mr Waterford appeared next. Mr Waterford offered Lady Hardcastle his hand, which she shook warmly.
‘Thank you, Emily,’ he said. ‘And thank you, too, Miss Armstrong. You got us out of gaol, and you saved my Roz. I’ll never be able to repay you, but if you ever need anything at all . . .’
‘We still haven’t had a go in your wonderful racing cars,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘But I think we’ll leave that for another time. I’ll not forget, mind you.’
‘Any time you like,’ he said.
Mrs Beddows said nothing. Instead, she took a step towards Lady Hardcastle and hugged her. This was not at all the same woman we had met a week before. But if that was surprising, it was as nothing compared with what followed. Having released Lady Hardcastle, she came over to me and offered me her hand. As we shook hands, she leaned in close so that no one else might hear as she murmured, ‘I owe you my life, Armstrong. Thank you.’
I had no idea how to respond, so I simply smiled and said nothing.
She and Mr Montague left hand in hand.
‘What did she say?’ asked Lady Hardcastle.
‘Discretion forbids me from revealing details of a private remark, my lady,’ I said. ‘Something nice, though.’
‘Well I never,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘All it took was a madwoman with a noose to turn her into a decent human being. If only we’d known, I could have fashioned a noose at the beginning of our visit.’
Lord Riddlethorpe came out of the drawing room with his sister and Harry.
‘Ah, Emily,’ he said. ‘We thought we could hear you out here. You’re off?’
‘We are, Fishy,’ said Lady Hardcastle. ‘Thank you so much for your hospitality.’
‘I’m not sure having half one’s guests murdered by one’s housekeeper features in any etiquette guide I’ve ever read,’ he said, ‘but it’s gracious of you to pretend you had a good time.’
‘No pretence required, Fishy, dear. The company of new friends is all I need. I’m glad to have met you all.’
He smiled. ‘I’ve had a word with the coroner, and he’s happy with your written statement, so you’ll not be called upon at the inquest. And the local magistrate is a pal of mine. He’s agreed not to call you for the committal. You’ll be needed for the County Court trial, of course, but the assizes aren’t for a while yet. You must stay here when they call you.’
‘Thank you, dear. I shall look forward to your company, if not the trial.’
‘Cheerio then, sis,’ said Harry. ‘Safe travels, and all that.’
‘Goodbye, Harry, darling. Do promise to come and visit. You too, Jake, dear.’
‘We’d love to,’ said Lady Lavinia. She was already a ‘we’.
‘And you, too, Fishy. All of you. You must all come down. We might have to put you up in our neighbours’ house if you all come together, but it would be such fun to have you.’
We were saved from having to try to work out exactly how this might be arranged by the sound of a throat being quietly cleared at the front door.
‘Aha,’ said Lord Riddlethorpe. ‘I believe Morgan’s trying to tell us that the motor car is packed.’
‘It is, my lord,’ said Morgan. ‘With the Water Board digging up the main road to Riddlethorpe, we’ll have to take the long way round to the station.’
‘Then you ought to leave at once,’ said Lord Riddlethorpe. ‘Goodbye, Emily. Goodbye, Miss Armstrong. Until we meet again.’
Chapter Eighteen
There was a slight delay at Birmingham. A signalman slipped on some wet leaves on his way to the signal box and spilled tea on himself. He was scalded quite badly, leaving the main line to Bristol without proper signals for an hour, until his assistant could be roused and sent to work in his place. It gave us the opportunity to eat lunch in town, though, and we resolved to visit the city more often.
Back in Littleton Cotterell, not much had changed. The same dog cart that had first brought us to the house the previous year was waiting for fares at Chipping Bevington station. The same driver was as helpfully obliging and as quietly uncommunicative as he had been the first time we saw him.
He carried the bags into the hall, and was rewarded with Lady Hardcastle’s usual generous tip.
‘I do like going away,’ said Lady Hardcastle as we closed the front door and took off our hats. ‘But I think I like coming home slightly more. Did you warn Edna and Miss Jones that we would be back today?’
‘I wired them from the station at Leicester,’ I said. ‘While you were chatting to that lady about her dachshund.’
‘He was an adorable little fellow,’ she said. ‘And so well behaved.’
‘So I gather. More importantly, it gave me an opportunity to let Edna know our plans.’
‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
I checked in the kitchen, where I found the range lit, a pie ready to be re-heated, and a box of vegetables ready to be cooked.
‘Miss Jones has left everything we need for
dinner,’ I called.
‘Splendid,’ said Lady Hardcastle from the hall. ‘Did she leave any tea?’
‘I’ll put the kettle on.’
I brought out a tray a few minutes later bearing tea and some of the biscuits Miss Jones had baked for us. Lady Hardcastle was still checking through the post.
‘I’m not sure I fancy unpacking tonight,’ she said, indicating the jumble of trunks and cases. ‘Do I have something to sleep in?’
‘I should think we can find you a nightdress in the wardrobe among the many dozens of nightdresses you seem to own,’ I said.
‘Then we shall leave the unpacking for tomorrow. Get the pie on and we’ll have an early supper, a glass or two of wine, and a bit of piano before an early night.’
Edna helped me to drag the luggage upstairs the next morning.
‘If I’d thought about it, I could have told our Dan to come and help with these,’ she said as we hauled the largest trunk up to the main bedroom. ‘He don’t mind helpin’ me out, if you ever needs any fetchin’ and carryin’ done.’
‘Not to worry,’ I said. ‘We seem to be managing. Just about.’
‘True,’ she said. ‘But it never hurts to keep him busy. Did you have a nice time?’
‘Not bad. One or two minor mishaps, but it was an interesting break.’
We set off back downstairs for the last bags.
‘How did you like the racin’ cars?’ she said.
‘Sadly, that was one of the mishaps – we didn’t get to drive them in the end.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said. ‘P’raps his lordship will invite you some other time.’
‘I do hope so. I— Oh, blast.’
The telephone had begun to ring.
‘You answer the telephone, my lover,’ said Edna. ‘I’ll take these last ’uns up.’
I picked up the earpiece from its cradle.
‘Hello,’ I said loudly and clearly. ‘Chipping Bevington two-three.’
‘Hello?’ said a strident, female voice. ‘Hello? Is that you, Emily? Hello?’
‘Good morning, Lady Farley-Stroud,’ I said. ‘Hold on one moment and I’ll fetch Lady Hardcastle for you.’
‘Ah, Armstrong,’ she said. ‘It’s you. Would you get Lady Hardcastle for me, please?’
