“Maybe he can try again and see what happens.”
Oh, fuck no. Adan wasn’t about to put his mate in danger just to give it a try. But when he tried to give Yanis a warning through eye contact, Yanis ignored it. Of course he would ignore it, now that it didn’t suit him to communicate with Adan.
“Adan doesn’t look happy about it,” Jared said.
Yanis let go of Adan’s hand and sat in front of him instead of by his side. “Yeah? Well, unless he tells me so, I’m going to try this.”
“Maybe you should wait until Emery can come.”
Yanis waved Jared’s words away. “Adan won’t hurt me. He didn’t yesterday when he was starving. Why should he now that he actually fed?” Jared got up and came closer, and Yanis looked at him. “Unless you have a good reason to stop me, I’m going to start poking at him until he reacts.”
Jared chuckled. “Good luck with that. We’ve tried it, but he’s really good at staying in his head.”
“I don’t think he’ll be as good now that I’m here.”
Jared gestured toward Adan. “Let’s see, then.”
Adan closed his eyes and concentrated, or at least he tried to. He couldn’t help anticipating Yanis’ touch, and with his eyes closed, he couldn’t even see when or where it would come from.
His bobcat purred again, and it was the only indication Adan got that Yanis was moving. Adan felt a touch on his hand, light as a feather. It wasn’t different from when Yanis took his hand, so Adan relaxed.
That was his mistake.
Yanis had obviously expected that, because the next thing Adan felt were lips on his. He hadn’t thought Yanis would kiss him, and when Yanis’ tongue sneaked out and licked Adan’s lips, the tight control Adan had kept both on his bobcat and on the tendrils inside him dissolved.
His bobcat purred louder and the tendril shot forward. Adan desperately tried to hold onto it, but it didn’t respond. He waited for the inevitable, for the tendril to suck Yanis dry of emotions, but that didn’t happen.
Adan’s eyes shot open when the tendril limited itself to wrapping around Yanis. It did push inside a bit—just enough that Adan could feel Yanis was worried, scared, but also happy and hopeful. The tendril didn’t feed, though, and Adan reacted to that, even though he hadn’t intended to.
He raised his arms, feeling rusty after all the time he’d barely initiated movement of his own volition, and wrapped them around Yanis’ neck. Yanis jerked, but he didn’t pull away. Adan felt Yanis’ arms slide around his waist and Yanis pulled him closer, their lips never leaving each other’s.
Then Jared cleared his throat and Adan abruptly remembered his presence next to them. He moved backward, but Yanis didn’t let him go. Adan opened his mouth to protest, or maybe to continue kissing Yanis, he didn’t know, but Yanis beat him to it. “Hey, Adan. Welcome back.”
The tendril was still wrapped around Yanis, and Adan pulled it back. It came without problems, coiling itself in Adan. That was the moment Adan’s bobcat chose to decide it’d had enough of being confined.
Adan shifted without meaning to. Yanis blinked at him and reached out to pull away a torn piece of Adan’s T-shirt from around his paw. “Well, you’re a pretty bobcat.”
“It’s good to have you finally with us, Adan,” Jared said, and Adan was surprised to see the doctor’s eyes looked damp. He knew people had been worried about him, but he hadn’t thought they cared that much. He didn’t really know any of them, or rather, they didn’t know him. He’d watched them over the months, so he did know them pretty well, but the contrary wasn’t true, not yet.
Yanis scratched Adan’s head and Adan’s bobcat purred without Adan’s permission. Adan couldn’t even be angry at it, since he’d kept it in for so long.
“I’m going to leave you two alone for a bit, let you get used to life again,” Jared said. “I’d like you to try to shift back to your human form and see how your vampire half reacts. I don’t know how much control you have over it, but I’ll tell everyone else to stay out of your room for now. Have Yanis call me if you think you can control it enough that I can come inside to talk to you, okay?”
Adan nodded and Yanis slid his hand under his chin. He scratched there, and Adan closed his eyes in bliss. Yanis laughed, and Adan heard Jared leave. He didn’t open his eyes again. He wanted to stay like that for a while, because he had no idea what was waiting for him in the future, and he wanted to take advantage of this as much as he could.
* * * *
Yanis couldn’t believe it. Adan had shifted and was purring. Yanis wasn’t sure it was a conscious gesture, but he wasn’t about to protest. He’d have preferred to have a human Adan, but his bobcat was good enough for now.
Yanis continued to scratch Adan, but he wanted to push a bit to have Adan shift again. “So, are you up to being human again?”
Adan blinked up at him. He was sleepy-looking, and it was obvious the only thing he wanted was to curl up and sleep. His vampire part’s feeding plus shifting for the first time in a year had probably taken a lot out of him.
Yanis got up and eyed the bed Adan was still on. He wasn’t sure the thing was up to holding his weight, but then the infirmary had probably been built keeping in mind shifters, so he was ready to give it a try.
He pulled his T-shirt off and threw it on the chair next to Adan’s bed. Adan’s eyes widened and they became even bigger when Yanis opened his jeans and pushed them down his legs. He stood naked in front of his mate, smirked at him, then shifted.
Adan cocked his head and got up. He stretched while Yanis shook his mane out. Adan moved on his pillow and pointedly looked at Yanis, then at the bed. Yanis didn’t have to be told twice—he jumped on the bed. It shook a bit, but it didn’t give any signs it might break.
It wasn’t exactly comfortable. Even if it had been made for shifters, the bed wasn’t big. Yanis made it work anyway, curling on himself as tightly as he could while keeping some space free so that Adan could settle against his front.
And that was exactly what Adan did as soon as Yanis stopped moving and settled down. He climbed on top of Yanis, slid down until he was against Yanis’ ribcage, and curled there, his nose only inches away from Yanis’.
Yanis leaned his head forward and licked the top of Adan’s head. Adan jerked and scowled at him, so Yanis licked his nose. Adan sputtered and batted his paw on Yanis’ nose. Seeing Adan like that felt good, and Yanis hadn’t thought he’d get to have the opportunity so soon after finding out they were mates. Adan’s health problems were somehow famous—everyone in the Gillham pack knew he was catatonic. Yanis had hoped being mates would help, and it had, although not in the way he and Jared had obviously thought.
Yanis raised his paw and dropped it on Adan’s head. He made sure not to put too much force into the gesture, but Adan scowled at him again. Yanis grinned, as much as a lion could grin anyway, and Adan rolled his eyes. He licked Yanis’ nose, then made a show of yawning and putting his jaw down on his paws.
Yanis nodded and put his own head on Adan’s body. They squirmed a bit, just enough to find a nice position. Yanis felt the moment when Adan fell asleep, and even if it was the middle of the day, he quickly fell asleep too.
It was the noise that woke him.
Someone yelled, and Yanis jerked up. The room was dark and he had no idea what time it was. He gently untangled himself from Adan and climbed down off the bed. Someone was moaning in the infirmary’s main room, and it wasn’t in a good way. People were talking, their voices tense and loud. Yanis recognized Jared’s when he asked for help.
Yanis shifted back to his human form and dressed as fast as he could. He made sure Adan was still sleeping, then strode to the door of his room and opened it.
He walked into chaos.
People were running around, others were crying or moaning in pain. Most of the beds were occupied, and Yanis saw a lot more blood than he’d ever wanted to. He looked at all the wounded, and to his rel
ief, he didn’t recognize anyone. He instantly felt guilty for that, but he couldn’t help it.
Yanis noticed Ani, Dominic’s mate and the man who’d assigned him his room, standing in a corner looking grim. He walked closer, and when Ani looked at him, he asked, “What happened?”
Ani sighed. “The hunters attacked a big nest of rabbit shifters.”
Yanis looked around again. “Why aren’t they in the hospital?”
“Because the hospital’s emergency room is already full.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“Did you get the hunters?”
“Some, but they’re not being any help. They all repeat the same thing—they had orders, they were told where to attack and when, they hate shifters, we should all die.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
Ani shook his head. “No. I’m staying out of the way since I can’t help. You should do the same. Why are you here, anyway?”
“I was with Adan. We both fell asleep.”
A child who could be no more than four or five years old started crying a few beds away. Yanis wanted to help her, but she had burns on her legs and arms. Noem, Finn, Nysys, and other Nix were already busy healing other people, while Jared and another doctor were concentrating on the less urgent cases. The girl was alone for now, though, and Yanis started to go to her.
Before he could, Adan’s door opened. Adan stepped out in his human form and wearing pajamas.
“What the fuck?” Ani breathed out. He looked like he was the only one who’d noticed Adan wasn’t in his bed anymore.
Yanis strode toward his mate. “Are you okay?”
Adan looked at him. “What happened?” he asked in a hoarse voice.
“Attack.”
“They’re hurting so much.”
Adan’s voice was almost as tortured as the others in the room were, and Yanis reached for him. He pulled his mate close, and Adan twisted in his hold so that he stood with his back against Yanis’ chest. Yanis saw him close his eyes.
A few seconds later, the girl stopped crying. She was still burned, but she didn’t look in pain anymore. Yanis looked down at Adan and noticed his mate had a pinched expression. “Are you the one doing that?”
“I—yes. I’m trying to take away their pain, but I can’t do it, not for more than one person at a time. If I stop sucking out the girl’s pain, she’ll start hurting again.”
Yanis looked around again. The girl was the youngest in the room, and the other children were either already healed or being cared for. “That’s fine. She’s the only kid still hurting. Concentrate on her.”
“I don’t like how pain tastes.”
The declaration startled Yanis, but it made sense. Adan fed on emotions, so why shouldn’t they have a taste for him? “What does it tastes like?”
“Acrid and foul. I like the way you taste better.”
“You can snack on me later if you want.”
“I’m already full, and gosh, that’s so weird. I’m a freaking vampire.”
Yanis hugged Adan tighter. “Yeah, you are, but you’re doing something good right now. Being what you are doesn’t mean you’ll hurt people.”
Adan shook his head. “I didn’t want to come out here. I didn’t want to live again, but you arrived, and now this. I couldn’t resist the emotions.”
Yanis kissed Adan’s hair. “Maybe you’re not supposed to.”
“But what if I hurt someone? Not now, but later, when I get hungry again?”
A pasty-looking Noem got to the girl and started healing her as Yanis answered. “We’ll work it out. You can feed on me. You didn’t hurt me yesterday when you did, even though you hadn’t eaten emotions in a year.”
“It was a risk I shouldn’t have taken, but I couldn’t keep the thing inside anymore, not with you.” Adan coughed just as Noem finished healing the girl and staggered backward. Jared caught him and helped him sit down.
Adan moved in Yanis’ arms, finally opening his eyes again. He looked... good. Better than he’d looked the day before, and better than he’d looked before he’d shifted.
Yanis kissed Adan’s hair again when Adan turned in his arms and buried his face against Yanis’ chest. “Take me back to my room, please?” His voice was even rougher than it’d been before.
Yanis looked at Ani, who was still looking at them. He tilted his head toward Adan’s room and Ani nodded. Yanis left the infirmary’s chaos and took his mate to rest.
Chapter Three
Adan woke up alone—again. He didn’t remember exactly what had happened the day before, and it scared him. He remembered the noise, the pain, and a little girl. He remembered wanting to help her, and that the pain in the room had called to him, that he wanted it, even if it wasn’t freely given. He remembered taking it away from the little girl, and he hadn’t liked it much, but the vampire part of him had relished in it. Adan had an inkling his vampire part would feed on any type of emotions, even if Adan didn’t enjoy it. It was like eating carrots when you were starving. They tasted bad, but they’d be sufficient if you were hungry enough.
Adan didn’t know if that was because he’d starved it for a long time, or if it was just more savage than Adan had hoped. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to go back to his trance state now that Yanis had found him, and he didn’t want to think about what could happen if his vampire part got loose and started snacking on people. It had already harmed too many people for Adan to let it continue.
The way it felt like something that wasn’t part of him was weird. He knew he could control the tendrils that reached out when people had strong emotions around him. He’d done it before.
But the tendrils also felt like they almost had a mind of their own, and they weren’t pleased to be starved. Adan wasn’t sure whether they really had a mind or if it was just his body fighting to survive at any cost, but he hoped he’d find out soon, because the last thing he wanted was to hurt someone.
The door opened, thankfully distracting Adan from thoughts of what could happen. He didn’t move, didn’t react, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he should. Jared came in, looking tired but fine and looked at him. “Are you trying to disappear in your mind again, Adan?”
Adan bit the inside of his lower lip. Should he answer Jared, or should he really try to retreat in his mind and wait until Yanis or even Emery came by?
“Ah, I see. Yanis told me you might do this.”
Adan couldn’t do it. There was no way he could sink into his mind again, and he knew no one would let him do it. He assessed himself. He wasn’t hungry, which was weird, but with the emotions he’d gotten from Yanis and from the girl, that was probably normal. He was able to raise a tendril, but it was sluggish. Adan thought that meant Jared was safe, since he was standing only a few feet away.
He sat up, smiling at the blink of Jared’s eyes.
“That’s a little weird,” Jared said.
“Think of how weird it is for me.” Adan’s voice was still a mess. It was low and hoarse, nothing like it’d been before.
Jared shook himself. “Right. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Just my voice.”
Jared nodded and wrote something on Adan’s file. “That’s because you haven’t used it for a long while. Don’t force yourself, and try to talk in a soft voice until it gets better. If your throat hurts, that means you’ve forced it, and you should probably try to stay silent for a while.”
“I’ll do that.”
“What about your vampire half?”
“Is it half or just part? Because as far as I know I’m half human, half bobcat.”
Jared waved. “Doesn’t matter, you understood what I’m asking.”
“It’s fine. I... fed yesterday, on that little girl.”
“Ani told me he’d seen something strange.”
Adan looked at his hands. “I know I shouldn’t have, but she was hurting.”
&n
bsp; He heard Jared move, put Adan’s file on the bed and sit on the edge of the mattress. They weren’t close enough to touch, but Jared leaned forward and patted Adan’s hand. “She’s fine. She was healed.”
“Still.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
Adan looked up. “If I know you, you have a list of stuff you can’t wait to ask me, so go ahead, sure.”
Jared smiled. “I’ll start with one. Is feeding on pain different from when you fed on Yanis’ emotions?”
“It tastes different.”
Jared grabbed Adan’s file again and started scribbling. “Different how?”
“It’s acrid—well, that’s what it feels like. It doesn’t really have a taste just... that’s how it feels to me. I’m not making sense, right?”
“No, no, it’s fine. We don’t know anything about this, so it’s fine. We’ll learn as we go.”
“Not that we have other options. I mean, you can’t get it out of me. Right?” There was so much hope in Adan’s words he wanted to take them back, especially when Jared’s smile dimmed.
Jared put down the files in his hand and shook his head. “No, I can’t. It’s like with Troy—they literally entwined your DNA with the one they took from an empathic vampire. If we try to untangled it...”
“I’ll die.”
“Yes. I don’t even know how it works, exactly. You could try to ask Adrian, but I doubt we can do anything. We weren’t able to with Troy.”
Adan sighed. “At least I don’t have ovaries.”
“No, you don’t.” He paused. “I wish we could do more.”
“It’s fine.” Adan swallowed, his throat feeling as dry as a desert.
Jared noticed and leaned toward the nightstand. He handed Adan the glass that was always kept there after he filled it with water. Adan nodded and drank it all. “I’ll get used to it. I mean, I’m about used to feeling that thing inside me. I just have to work on keeping it under control.”
“So it doesn’t feel like it’s a part of you?”
“Yes and no. It’s like there’s something foreign in me, something that likes to reach out and suck people dry of emotions, but I can control it if I want to. It’s not bad, just weird.”
Adan Page 4
