“Yeah, it’s time,” he confirms.
Not wanting to push the issue at the current moment, I give him an understanding nod and leave it at that. Paxton has had a rough couple of years and if anyone understands that it’s me.
“Gavin said you guys could give me a couple time slots at the bar until I can nail down something more permanent,” he adds on.
“Of course,” I agree. “Paxton plays one hell of an acoustic set,” I explain to Kimber.
“Why don’t you two join us?” Paxton interrupts, gesturing to the table where Gavin is still sitting.
“Let me grab us something to eat first.” I snag Kimber’s hand, giving it a firm squeeze.
“Of course, I can imagine you’ve worked up quite an appetite.” Gavin laughs, raising his eyebrows suggestively at us.
“You’re a dick.” I shake my head, spinning around and walking towards the front counter with Kimber fast on my heels.
****
“So Paxton used to live here, why’d he leave?” Kimber asks, sliding her arm through mine as we finally exit the coffee shop an hour and a half later.
“His mom got sick,” I explain.
“Is she better now, is that why he’s back?”
“She actually died five months ago.”
“That’s awful.” Kimber tightens her grip on my arm.
“It’s good that he’s back, though. This is home to him.”
“So then he was friends with you and Gavin growing up?” she asks.
“More like family really. The three of us have been through a lot together.”
“Can I ask you a question?” She peers up at me just as we stop at the front entrance of the bar. “Did you know Gavin slept with Harlee?” Her question catches me off guard.
“He did?” I question, finding it odd that he wouldn’t tell me something like that if it actually happened.
“A couple of nights after the Halloween party,” she confirms.
“I had no idea,” I answer honestly.
“She really likes him. Apparently the feelings aren’t reciprocated. He’s blown her off ever since.”
“I don’t involve myself in that aspect of his life, Kimber,” I say, knowing that she’s likely looking for an explanation.
“No, I know.” She shakes her head. “I just wasn’t sure if you knew about it.”
“I didn’t.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “Do you really have to go home today?” I speak into her hair.
“I have to work this afternoon.” She sighs.
“What about tomorrow?” I ask, not quite ready to let her go just yet.
“I have class until two and then I work the dinner shift.” She pulls back, hitting me with a mischievous look. “But we still have a couple more hours before I have to head back.” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
“I like the way you think,” I growl, dropping my mouth to hers.
****
“What the fuck dude? Why didn’t you tell me you fucking slept with Kimber’s roommate?” I slide into a stool at the high top bar table where Paxton and Gavin are sitting having drinks.
“Well hello to you, too.” He takes a long drink of his draft beer. “Where the fuck have you been?”
“I had to drive Kimber home. Now answer the fucking question.”
“I don’t tell you every girl I sleep with.” He leans back, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Yes, you do actually.” I shake my head. “You make it a point to make sure everyone knows.”
“I do not.” He fakes innocence, looking to Paxton for backup.
“Don’t look at me.” Paxton holds his hands up on a laugh. “If things are still the way they were when I left two years ago, which I’d say they are, then I’m only going to hurt your case.”
“Whatever. Fuck you guys.” Gavin slams back the rest of his beer in one drink. “I need another beer.” He spins, storming off towards the bar.
“What’s got his panties in a twist?” Paxton laughs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.
“That’s a very good question,” I observe.
“So Kimber huh?” Paxton pulls the conversation to me. “I gotta say, dude, I didn’t think you were capable of a relationship.”
“Neither did I. I mean, it’s still pretty new,” I admit. “But this girl, I don’t know, dude, she’s different.”
“I’m happy for you, man.” He clasps my shoulder. “Truly.”
“I appreciate that.” I try to fight the smile that creeps across my face.
“Man, you’ve got it bad.” He laughs, shaking his head at me.
“I do,” I finally answer, not realizing how good it would feel to finally admit it out loud.
“How’s everything else going? How’s your mom?”
“She’s good. I don’t really see her that often, for obvious reasons, but she seems to be doing pretty well.” I nod at Gavin when he reappears, sitting a glass of whiskey down in front of me.
“And Trey?” Paxton continues.
“Fucking dick hole,” Gavin interjects.
“Boy things really haven’t changed have they? I mean other than the fact that Deck has gone and got himself pussy-whipped.” He winks, clearly just joking. “The anniversary of the accident is coming up soon isn’t it?” The serious change of conversation causes my whole body to tense.
“Two weeks,” I confirm, raising the glass to my lips.
I take a deep inhale before pouring the liquid into my mouth, the burn an instant relief from the panic and dread that has slowly started to creep its way into my throat.
“I’ll have to stop out and visit the cemetery,” he continues. “I can’t believe it’s been eight years.” He shakes his head.
“It’s crazy right?” Gavin tacks on. “Where has the time gone?”
“No doubt. Feels like just yesterday when we would hide out in Deck’s basement and get stoned off our asses. Do you all remember how Trey used to always try to sneak down and bust us?” Paxton laughs.
“God even then he was a tool,” Gavin agrees. “But you gotta admit we had some good times.”
“That we did,” Paxton confirms.
The guys continue to reminisce, reliving all the bullshit we used to pull as teenagers, but my mind is too preoccupied with the thought of what happened after all those memories to really enjoy the moment.
Sure we had some fucking killer times, but those vanished along with almost everything else in the matter of one night. One night changed my entire life and ended another’s. No matter how much time passes, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move past it.
The accident has defined who I am since the moment it happened. I tried to piece myself back together afterward but nothing ever felt the same. So instead of healing, I perfected my exterior; learned how to fake it so that no one had to suffer along with me. I had already caused enough pain, who was I to ask for relief?
But now there’s Kimber; a bright light shining through my very dark tunnel. For the first time in eight years, I feel something beyond what I lost... I feel hope.
Chapter Twenty
Kimber
I swear I feel like class was never going to end today. This is the first time in four days that my schedule is clear enough that I can make the trip up to Portland tonight, and to say I’m excited is quite an understatement. I’ve been a bundle of anxious energy all day.
“Kimber?” I freeze just feet from the front steps of my dorm building the moment the familiar voice washes over me.
Turning slightly, the instant Garrett’s face comes into view my stomach bottoms out.
“Garrett?” I question, confusion and shock clear in my voice. “What? What are you doing here?” I stutter over my words.
He gives me a hesitant smile and takes a step towards me.
“I’m sorry, Kim. When they said they were coming, I knew I had to come, too. I had to see you.”
&nb
sp; “They?” I question, my mind swirling. “My parents’? They’re here? In Oregon?” Even as I ask the question, I already know the answer. I can tell by the look on his face that I am spot on.
“They want to see you.” He takes another step towards me, his hand coming to a rest on my forearm.
“And what, you’re their little messenger boy?” I jerk away from his touch, anger boiling in my throat.
“I’m here to help you, Kim.”
“It’s Kimber!” I grind out. “Shit.” I step back, panic starting to set in.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” I run my hands through my hair, the thought of facing my parents’ in person the last thing I want to deal with right now.
“Is that really necessary? People can hear you.” Garrett looks around before meeting my gaze again.
“Do you think I care?” I snip.
“You should.” His tone remains soft though I can tell by how tight his features are that it’s forced.
“Well, I don’t.”
“Who are you?” He stares back at me like he’s looking at a complete stranger.
I guess to him I kind of am. He’s not used to this Kimber, the real Kimber.
“Where are they?” I ignore his comment, pinning my eyes directly on him.
“They’re staying at the Smithson Resort. They were hoping you would agree to have dinner with them tonight.”
“So you really are the messenger then?” I’m surprised that I’m shocked but in a small way, I kind of am. “What’s in this for you?” I cock my head to the side.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice goes up a notch. “I’m here because I care about you.”
“Bullshit.” I ignore the way his eyes narrow with disapproval at my language.
“Kimber, be reasonable. I care about you, your parents’ care about you. It’s just dinner. It’s the least you can do after they’ve come all this way.”
“After they’ve come all this way without telling me you mean?”
“Please.” His tone softens. “One dinner.”
“Fine,” I groan out, knowing there is no way I’m going to get out of this. If I refuse it’s likely my father will be the next to show up, and that’s the last thing I want.
“Perfect.” He smiles. “We have reservations at Watsons. Your father will send a car for you. Seven o’clock sharp.”
“Seven,” I confirm, sighing loudly before spinning and walking away.
****
“I’m sorry I had to cancel our plans.” I sigh into the phone.
“It’s okay,” Decklan reassures me. “I think I can survive one more day.”
“You think?” I laugh, adjusting the hem of my dark gray sheath dress.
“It might be more than I can take.” His voice drops low. “I might just have to pay you a little unexpected visit. Seems to be the theme tonight.”
“Yeah but the difference is your visit would be welcome.”
“Would it now? Well in that case...” He laughs lightly.
“Don’t make it worse,” I whine. “It’s bad enough that I don’t get to see you, now I have to endure my parents’ for the next few hours.”
I purposely leave out the fact that Garrett is with them. I know it’s wrong of me to omit this information, but I just don’t have it in me to tell him that I will also be spending my evening with my ex-boyfriend who I dated for three years and is the only other man I’ve slept with. Besides, it’s not like I would ever go there again, even if Decklan wasn’t in the picture.
“Why go then?” he asks curiously, interrupting my inner battle.
“Because they’re my parents’.” I sigh. “I know things aren’t great between us, but a small part of me really wants to salvage what little of our relationship remains.”
“I get that. I’m sure everything will be fine,” he reassures me. “Call me after.”
“I will,” I say, clicking off the phone before dropping it into my lap.
Looking out of the backseat of the town car my father sent to pick me up, I can’t help but wonder how my parents’ would react to me dating Decklan. Would they see the incredible man that I see or would they see only what they want to see; a man who lives in a bar, dresses in ripped jeans and leather, and drives a motorcycle?
I can’t see them being very receptive to the idea, even if our relationship isn’t as damaged as it currently is. The thought makes me sad. They would be so quick to judge him for being different than them, and he would never have a chance to show them who he really is.
“Ma’am.” The driver pulls me from my fog and I look up to see we have arrived at the restaurant.
It’s only seconds before Garrett is pulling open the door and helping me out of the car, sure to kiss my cheek the moment I step up next to him. I do my best not to cringe under his touch as I take the arm he offers and allow him to lead me inside.
My stomach is a ball of nerves as Garrett guides me through the restaurant. It’s elegant and far too fancy for my personal taste which means my parents’ probably absolutely love it. I guess none of the restaurants near campus were up to their standards which is why they chose a location over thirty minutes away.
I finally spot my parents’, who are seated at a small intimate four-person table in the corner of the room. My mother sees me first, a tight smile forming on her thin lips as she stands.
She looks exactly as I remember: her dark blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun, a navy suit dress and blazer covering her small frame. It’s strange how I’m just now noticing how much I look like my mother. We’re the same build, same height, same eye and hair color. It’s weird that I’ve never really noticed before.
“Kimber,” she croons, pulling me into a weak hug like she’s afraid to touch me.
“Mother.” I step back and give her a soft smile before nodding towards my father.
He looks like he’s aged five years in the four months I’ve been here; thick patches of gray hair pepper his temples and his eyes are lined with dark bags. He keeps his gaze firmly on me as I slide into the seat that Garrett pulls out for me directly across from him.
“Well it’s good to see you’re still dressing appropriately,” he observes, unfolding his napkin as he lays it into his lap.
“I am capable of dressing myself.” I try to keep the sarcasm from my voice, but it still seeps out thick and full of resentment.
Thankfully our waitress appears before anyone can say anymore. It isn’t until several moments later after drinks are served and orders are taken that I find myself back in the spotlight of my parents’ glare.
“So Garrett tells us the restaurant you’re working at is nice.” My mother speaks first, a desperate attempt to make small talk.
“It is,” I confirm.
“If you came home you wouldn’t have to work,” My father immediately interjects. “You would be able to focus on your studies instead of wasting your time serving others.”
“I like my job. You speak as though it’s beneath me, and it’s not. I am no more special than the next person.”
“You are, too.” His tone is low and warning. “You are my daughter.”
“Biologically maybe,” I agree. “But in the way that it counts, no I’m not.”
“How dare you, after all we’ve done for you.”
“Will you two stop?” My mother objects. “This isn’t helping matters.”
Garrett chimes in, distracting my father enough with talks of politics and re-election and we are at least able to make it through dinner without killing each other. It isn’t until after the plates have been cleared away and the realization sets in that sooner or later we are going to have to talk that my mother finally turns the conversation back to me.
“Kimber, why don’t you tell us about your studies?” she suggests. “How are classes going?”
It takes less than two minutes before my father is at it again. The moment I mention Art he’s off on another rant, talking about how I’m wasting my time and tha
t my degree will never amount to anything.
“Art is not an acceptable major; I’ve said this time and time again,” he objects.
“Luckily it’s not up to you to decide,” I bite back.
“Is this the way we raised you?” The look of disgust on his face as he stares back at me tells me everything I need to know; this is never going to work.
“You’re never going to accept me for who I am, are you?” I question, cocking my head to the side. “You’re never going to stop trying to change me?”
“Not until I’ve talked some sense into you; no,” he answers without hesitation.
“Then we’re done here.” I stand, ignoring my mother’s protests to sit back down.
Shoving away from the table, I am out of the restaurant and already several feet outside before Garrett’s voice catches up to me.
“Kimber, wait.” I hear him say just moments before his hand clasps down on my forearm, spinning me towards him.
“Get off of me, Garrett,” I bite, shaking his hand away.
“Stop this. Come back inside,” he demands.
“No.” The anger in my voice is enough to derail Garrett’s attempt at getting me to go back.
“Okay. Okay.” He holds his hands up in front of himself. “At least, let me take you back to your dorm.”
“I can find my own way.” I insist, knowing the car that dropped me off is long gone and my only other option is to call a cab, which I will gladly do if it means getting me the hell out of here.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Come on, I’ll drop you off,” he says, taking my elbow as he leads me towards the valet station.
As much as I don’t want to sit in the car with Garrett for the next thirty minutes, I also know it’s my quickest way out of here and right now that’s all I want to do. I need to put as much space as I can between me and my father as quickly as possible.
It’s only minutes before I am sitting in the passenger seat of Garrett's rental car, panic gripping at my chest as the reality of my situation sinks in. I’ve lost all hope of regaining any type of relationship with my parents’. There would be hope for my mother if not for my father. But she would never choose me over him, and he has clearly drawn that line. That’s it, it’s over. The thought of how completely alone I am in the world suddenly seems to settle over me like a thousand pounds of rubble, burying me beneath their weight.
Crazy Stupid Love (Crazy Love #1) Page 16
