by Bella Knight
The phalanx wasn’t behind them by much. Lost in their own thoughts, they opened the throttle, and soon left them behind, not knowing they were being followed.
They went to the spot they usually went, to the cliff looking out over the lake, translucent in the pre-dawn light. Ace received a text from Ivy asking where they were. He replied, confused, and put the phone on vibrate in his pocket. He wanted to pay attention to his wife.
“Tell me everything about him,” he said, looking out over the water. She talked about the boy she followed everywhere, and he settled in to listen.
They heard the bikes long before they saw them, long lines of Harleys followed by a van, with lights on in the darkness. Lily clutched her chest, urn at her feet, and turned to watch them come up, with tears streaming down her face. Ace realized his text had set off a wave of concern from their friends… no, their family. He wrapped his arms around his wife from behind, and had tears of his own at their standing with them. The tears fell onto her hair.
They came up, parked the bikes, locked their helmets, and came to embrace them. Ivy and Callie first, then Gregory and Katya, Tito and several of his brood, Henry and David, Inola and Bella, Nantan and Jeffrey, and a herd of half-awake teens tumbling out of a giant van. They stood, and, once Lily had wiped away her tears, she found her voice.
“My brother was an idiot,” she said. They all laughed. “He didn’t get how much I loved him. I used to follow him around, try to do the things he did, like baseball and skateboarding. He ignored me. I tried to protect him from Dad’s temper, and we both failed there. We would hide in closets or under the bed, sneak out the windows, go hide in the neighbor’s backyard under their trampoline. He never figured out the trampoline thing.” She laughed, a bitter one.
They were all silent.
“He got into drinking, then drugs, like our dad. It’s genetic, you know, and he was trying to stop the pain. Then he got sober, for a little while, and he was getting some peace. He apologized to me, right before he died. He knew he lived his life wrong and he wanted to live his life right. He never got that chance.”
Ace held her hand, proud of her strength, now.
“Devlin, you idiot, I love you. I forgive you. And I fucking wish you’d had that chance. So, I’ll take that chance for you. I’m married, now. Someone else is having our baby, which is weird, but it works for us.” There was laughter, and Ace kissed his wife’s temple. “We have Kieran and Pavel, and dogs, and we’re thinking of getting a cat, because I want to be a cat’s slave.” More laughter rippled out.
The mood lightened as they all felt a part of something.
“I stand here, surrounded by family, one you didn’t get to know. So, I’m getting to know them, and loving them like crazy, and we’re going to go to places and do things that are fun and happy. I’ll live a great life. And, when I join you in this water someday, and I’ve knocked on Heaven’s door, I’ll tell you all about that life. I believe people get reborn, that this is a giant lesson in spiritual stuff, like how to live and how to love. I hope you come back and get to try again, to do it better next time. Then, you can come and tell me all about yours. Just, don’t be an idiot next time. Learn how to love.” She opened the urn as the dawn shed light across her face, and it spilled into the air, falling on the water. She then threw the urn off the cliff. “Be free, you idiot,” she said, into the wind. “Find your peace.”
Ace held her close, and she put her face against his arm. He felt the hot wetness of tears on his skin.
Ivy stepped forward. “Find your peace, and learn how to love,” she said, moving to stand next to Ace.
Callie stepped next to Ivy. “Find out how to have a family in your next life.”
Henry stepped forward, and stood next to Ace on his other side. “Find the Great Road, and walk upon it with others.”
David stepped forward, and stood next to Henry. “Be free, and remember that your sister loved you.”
Numa stepped forward, and stood next to David. “Let it go, and be free. Fly forward to the next life.”
Tito stepped forward, his kids in tow, and stood next to Numa. “Have kids. They’re the best thing ever.”
Gregory stood forward, with Katya, and stood next to Callie. “We’ll tell our nieces and nephews about you, and love them for you.” Ace and Lily both sobbed a little at that one.
Nantan took the teens forward. “Be free, my brother. I never knew you, but fly like a hawk into the dawn.”
Ghost, Killa, and Bonnie stepped forward, and stood next to Katya. Ghost said, “When Lily sees you again.”
They sang then, When I See You Again, by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth, softly, into the dawn. Then David, Henry, and Numa sang him home, their voices rising and falling. Nantan sang the songs of his people. They held each other; crying, laughing, walking around, talking to each other, hugging each other.
They found a waffle house, and loaded up on pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, and biscuits loaded with butter and honey. They talked about the day they met each other, each willing to head down memory lane. The teens got into it, talking about their first day at the ranch, meeting the horses, learning how to pick strawberries.
“It’s easy,” said Alo. “I put them high, so they hang down. Just reach up, grab them.”
The teens settled in when they talked about rides. “We need another one,” said Alo. “Let’s go someplace epic.”
Ripples of laughter went around the table. Nantan smiled, pulled paper and a pen out his pocket, and said, “Get some places, and some things to do. Then, make a list of places to go. Winter’s coming, so colder places need to be seen, now. Think south in winter.”
Laughter rippled around the table again. “Think Grand Canyon now, Redwoods now,” said Gregory. “San Diego in winter.”
“Now?” asked Alo. “Let’s go.”
“Where?” asked Henry.
“The Grand Canyon.”
“That’s four hours over, five back,” said Henry.
“It’s eight in the morning. Why not?” asked Alo.
“Kid has a point,” said Nantan. “They’ve been working hard.”
“I go home,” said Katya, decisively. “But you go,” she said, kissing Gregory.
“I’ll take you,” said Inola to Katya, then kissing Bella.
“I need something from saddlebag,” said Katya.
“I bet it’s the same thing I brought,” said Inola. They walked away, hand in hand.
“We need snacks,” said Alo. Everyone laughed.
So, they sent the mothers off, and headed off to Arizona, their songs loud in their ears. Henry texted ahead before leaving the waffle house, and old friends texted back to say they would be there.
Gregory and Lily went out first, teens on bikes behind them, the teen helmets helpfully kept in the back of the van. The teens agreed to rotate riding. The teens put themselves in charge of the music, and songs played in their ears.
They made good time. They had lunch in Kingman, Arizona, at a funky diner, with sandwiches and salads. They grabbed some drinks, and headed out.
It seemed like half a tribe of Paiutes were there to greet Henry, Numa, and David. Some Sioux were there to greet Nantan, and he smiled, overjoyed at being able to speak his language. The kids ran around, looking at everything. Gregory, Ace, and Lily kept an eye on them. They ate snacks, drank water, and looked into the vastness of the canyon. They stayed ‘till nearly sundown.
They rode back, kids trading out on who rode with whom. Two more kids were slid into the back of the van, bruised boys named Nico and Tam. They jumped at loud noises. Nantan gave them blankets and sodas, let them sit up in front. They took it slower going back, stopping off in Kingman for a late dinner. The boys were absolutely silent.
Shit, thought Nantan. Now I’ve got to take the parenting classes. Those boys are not going back to where they came from.
They made it back late, and everyone trundled off to bed. Bella rushed up the outer spiral stairs toward
her wife. Nantan took the herd to their pods, and then Nantan took the boys to the apartment they’d set up with sleeping pods over the plants downstairs.
“I sleep at the other end of the hall,” he said. “Bathroom’s next to you. There is a little fridge there with sodas and waters in it. We’ve got chores early in the morning.” He closed the door, leaving the tired, frightened boys to figure out who got the top or bottom bunk.
He slapped his own head —clothes. They had a box of them in the other house, as the kids often arrived with little. He went next door, and got packages of boxers and socks, and some jeans and T-shirts they’d bought from thrift stores. He put the clothes in a duffel. He went back and climbed the stairs, and gently knocked on the door.
“I’ve got a duffel here. I’m going to put it inside the door. It’s some clothes.” He opened the door, dropped it in, then shut the door.
He remembered the tablets. He went back to the dorm house, grabbed two off the shelf still in their boxes, and walked them back. He climbed the stairs, and knocked on the door.
“You’ll want to unbox these and plug them in. You have classes after chores.” He put the boxes on the floor, just inside the door, and shut it again.
He heard scrabbling, and “Whoa!” from the older one, Nico. “Tam, do you see an outlet anywhere?” Smiling, Nantan headed down the hall to bed.
Regroup
Nantan was careful. This was different. The boys were refugees from a war played out in a crazy man’s head, and they acted like it. They hoarded food in their room, until Nantan explained about bugs. He bought them a tiny refrigerator and let them keep some snacks and sodas in it, but no dirty cups or dishes; those had to be put in a tub outside the door and washed in the morning. The trash had to be kept in a rubber trash can with a seal. They complied, as long as they knew they would have access to food and drink. They also bolted their food, as if it would be taken away from them.
“Where’s the fire?” one or the other of the Wolfpack would remind them. “Food’s good,” said Ajai. “Taste it, it’s better that way.” It took time, but the boys slowed down their eating, primarily not to seem stupid or silly in front of the other kids.
They didn’t steal or lie. They did jump at loud noises. Nantan made it very clear to the teens that teasing them in any way, with loud noises or ribbing, would not be tolerated. No “fun” pranks, or they would lose any TV or game privileges. They complied, primarily because Ajai, Willow, and Ruby watched the boys like hawks. They made sure they learned how to access their lessons, that they did their schoolwork, and trained them on their chores.
The boys were absolutely in love with the rabbits. Inola taught them how to feed the angora rabbits, clean their cages, and pick up the molted fur and put it in the sealed fur bin.
“Why do we save the fur?” asked Tam.
“Thirty dollars a bag,” said Inola.
“Wow,” said Nico. “What’s it for?”
“It’s spun into yarn and made in to ultra-soft sweaters, mufflers, baby blankets, and the like.” Inola showed them how to pet them —very carefully.
Chores were rotated, so Nico and Tam learned to load the dishwasher, soak and sometimes scrub pots, create simple meals like bacon and eggs or grilled cheese sandwiches. Then tomato soup from a can, or sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, and muck out the stables. Tam was terrified of the horses, so Nico switched with him when he had to feed, curry, or walk them.
The greenhouse astonished and fascinated them. Nantan showed them how the LED lights and misters were set on timers, and the different beds of plants all growing with different-colored lights. He showed them the huge variation in heirloom seeds that produced potatoes and carrots from white to purple, with the carrots making a detour into orange. He showed how to use the gloves and the small cutter to cut fruits and vegetables from the vine, from strawberries to melons, from watermelon to zucchini. The boys learned how to plant the plants on the cloth-like matrix of recycled paper, and how to check the system to be sure everything was working right. Both boys loved to do the checklist, from planting to harvesting.
Nantan taught them the names of all the plants, and their resulting fruit or vegetable. He also taught them the best methods for harvesting, and how to cut the vegetables and fruits and put them into their boxes. The boys loved and were dazzled by it all. They also developed mad knife skills.
Ajai and Willow were in charge of their room inspection, showing them how to change their sheets, color-coded to them in particular. Since they had a full house and all the colors were taken, Nantan had the superhero conversation with them.
“Iron Man,” said Nico. “He rocks.”
“Hawkeye,” said Tam. “He can shoot arrows.”
“We can teach you that,” said Nantan. They were overjoyed. So, Nantan ordered everything Iron Man, from sheets to pillowcases to comforters to blankets, even toothbrushes and toothbrush cup.
Tam got Hawkeye almost everything, but had to settle for the arrow-emblazoned toothbrush and cup holder. He got three sets of the sheets, and needed a rubber under-sheet for Tam. He wet the bed in his sleep during his nightmares. Nico helped his brother change the sheets in the night, and Nantan made sure the sheets were stored in the room itself.
Clothes were easy. An hour in a Wal-Mart and they were set. They loved their new jeans. Nantan even got them cowboy boots and hats. He got them leather jackets at a thrift store. The boys loved them. They gained weight and shot up a bit. Their teeth were checked, and they had no cavities, probably because they’d eaten so little. Now, they craved cookies, something Vi was happy to provide; oatmeal, apple, chocolate-chip, and macadamia nut cookies. They couldn’t get enough.
Nantan never entered their room. He figured their crazy father had done that enough. He never raised his voice, or made sudden moves or loud noises around them. He didn’t drink, and what little liquor they had in the farmhouse was primarily for cooking, and Vi kept it locked up.
They were way behind the other kids in school. Henry tested them. Nantan could have sent them to the Nighthawks club school, but they loved sitting with the other students at the house in their beanbag chairs. Henry and Callie got them at the right levels, and they zipped through them. Alo slowly and steadily got them through math; the math games on their tablets helped. They even played them at night in their beds. Catori helped them with their reading. They responded well to her gentle tone of voice, and her laughter. They wanted to participate in the coding contests Yanaba and Gwen liked to hold. The boys soon zipped past Yoki, Lena, and Elu, who spent more time giggling than coding. Henry made them study separately, in completely different corners or rooms, and their grades took a sudden jump up. They were still allowed to do chores together, as long as the chores actually got done.
Inola had them shovel horse shit and haul hay as soon as she could. “They’re animals, very intelligent ones,” she said to Tam. “Your fear scares them. Face your fear. Start with petting the ponies. They’re smaller, and they are docile.”
“What’s docile?” asked Tam.
“Calm,” said Inola. “Relaxed. Take a deep breath, let it out. Good. Put your shoulders down; they don’t need to be around your ears. Good. Now, just look at Spice. He’s a kind of cinnamon color. Very calm, very relaxed horse. See his eyes? His mane? That’s the hair down his neck. His front feet, his back feet. Now, when you go to see him, you bring him some of these.” She handed Tam some carrots. “Keep them in your pocket. Now, let’s go feed him some.”
“No!” said Tam. He raised his shoulders nearly to his ears and clenched his fists.
“Breathe,” said Inola. “You stopped breathing, there.” He sucked in a breath.
“Fear,” said Inola, “Is good, if you are crossing the street. It’s a good idea to look both ways, and to jump out of the way if some asshole tries to run you over, right?” Tam nodded, and smiled because Inola used a bad word.
“Yes, so, that’s good fear. I’m afraid of sticking my hands in the fire at a coo
kout. I keep back, careful with the stick I use to roast my marshmallows. I want to roast the marshmallows, not me!”
Tam laughed. “Can we roast marshmallows?”
“We’ve got a fire pit out back. Don’t see why not. We usually do it during game night, after the games and popcorn and sodas.”
“When’s that?” asked Tam.
“Tomorrow night,” said Inola. She grinned as Tam actually rubbed his hands together with glee. “Anyway, fear tends to turn your brain off. It’s set on fight or flight. Both might be good moves, but it usually causes you to freeze first. Freezing is great when you need time to think. It’s bad when a bear is chasing you.”
“You’ll get it,” said Tam.
“Exactly,” said Inola. “And, unless the bear is attacking someone else, it’s smarter to flee, not fight, a bear.”
“So, fear makes you freeze, and freezing can be bad.”
“Yes, Tam,” said Inola. “It also turns off your brain. Remember, horses rarely act out. If they do, they are usually scared. Like if they see a snake. A horse will leap away from the snake, which is actually smart. Or, if someone abuses them, they learn bad behavior because they’re scared.”
“Like if someone hits them?”
“Exactly like that,” said Inola, knowing perfectly well they were no longer talking about horses. “Scared horses run away; they nip, they bite, they buck off riders, because they’re scared. We use techniques to help them stop being scared. We’re gentle with them. We don’t hit them or make loud noises or yell at them. We show them we love them by keeping their stalls clean, feeding them good food, letting them out into the sunshine in the morning. We feed them carrots and apples, talk to them gently, and pet them. We walk them and comb and curry them. We check their hooves for rocks. We call the vet when they’re sick. We love them. And, they calm down, and we show them we trust them. So, they trust us.”
“I can clean out their stalls,” said Tam. “After they’re out.”
“That’s a good start,” said Inola. She showed him how to muck out the stables, working with him. She sang “The Never-ending Song,” making him laugh. She showed him how to clean the tack, and how much food each horses needed at night.
