by Toni Shiloh
“You think she could hook me up with a deck like this?”
“Sure, although I may ask her not to since I wanted to buy the place.”
Guy shook his head and forced a chuckle out. He’d forgotten he beat Evan to the punch, so to speak. Evan had put an offer on his home to the former owner, Mrs. Nelson. Only it was too late. She had accepted Guy’s offer before his boy even had a chance. The house was big and a bit much to take care of, but his girls loved it.
It would be nice to have a space like this for himself. He loved the outdoors, but his backyard left much to be desired. “Yeah, ask her if she would be willing.”
“Sure.”
They sat around, eating and talking sports. As time passed, he began to engage in the conversation, picking up the rhythm and camaraderie of the past. He had missed these men. Since Charlene’s death, he had often wanted to return to Freedom Lake to live, but his mother loved Virginia. She hadn’t wanted to return to the place where she’d lost her husband.
Guy barely managed to keep a snort of derision from escaping. His father hadn’t died, simply walked out on them. He wanted something better and Guy and his mother were not a part of that plan. The old man probably lived somewhere in Indiana or maybe he’d moved. Guy hadn’t seen him in thirteen years.
Like Michelle.
“So, G, you thinking of becoming a regular Bible study attendee?”
Guy stared at Darryl trying to replay the words in his mind so he could answer him. Darryl’s words finally sunk through his thick skull. Now he wished he could fake ignorance. “I’m thinking about it. I can’t deny the power of Chloe’s lesson.”
Darryl’s face transformed, a goofy looking grin taking up residence.
Guy let out a laugh, half rusty from lack of use. “Ah, you still have it bad for her, man?” He laughed harder as his friend’s face turned red. “I take that as a ‘yes.’”
“I’ll ask her out one day. When I feel good enough.”
“What do you mean?”
Darryl looked at him and then at Evan. “You ever feel like you’re not worthy to be with someone? That you know they could do better than you. Find someone more put together without a crazy load of skeletons. Do you know what I mean?”
“Definitely,” Evan replied.
“Wi, man.” He clapped a hand on Darryl’s shoulder. “No one ever deserves the other, but that’s where the power of love comes in. They love you so much, they accept you, skeletons and all.” Charlene had loved him like that. He didn’t know if he had the strength to love another woman like that again besides his girls.
“God loves like that, doesn’t He?” Darryl asked, looking back and forth between them.
Guy’s stomach tensed. He had hoped to escape the God talk, but he knew what it was like to be on the precipice and need confirmation that you were loved despite your mistakes. But what could prevent Darryl from feeling loved? There was no way he could have the same mistakes in his past that Guy did.
“He does, D, you just have to accept it.” Evan gave Guy a pointed glare.
Guy sighed.
Darryl nodded then stretched. “It’s getting a little stuffy in here. Almost smells like emotions and we can’t have that.”
Guy barked out a laugh. He was glad he came. They were all going to be okay. Even though life was tough, they had each other and would light the way to prevent the darkness from swallowing them whole.
Chapter Twelve
Michelle lifted Rebekah off her lap and laid her down on the couch. The girls had finally fallen into a stupor, giving in to the exhaustion of the day. She had made sure to keep them active. They played dress up after their tea party and then they had asked for her to do their hair. Babysitting the twins had put her emotions through the ringer. Michelle needed a moment of quiet to sort through them.
She couldn’t believe how much fun she had. Had she been too hasty in thinking she wasn’t fit to be a mom? After all, it’s not like she knew what all it entailed. As much as Michelle loved her mother, her mother had been married to her job, and she’d been okay with that. Her mother still put forth the effort to let her know she was loved. Yet, there were times she often felt alone growing up. Always having to play by herself. Instead of telling her parents, she kept herself occupied. Intent to be the perfect daughter. And for some reason, she still couldn’t let people know how she really felt. Not about the deep stuff. The soul hurts.
The quiet knock on the door, pulled her from her thoughts. She glanced at the girls, thankful they remained asleep. Judging by the time, it was probably Guy. He must have received her text about not ringing the doorbell.
“Hey,” she whispered as she moved aside for Guy to come in.
“They asleep?”
The low sound of his voice brought back memories. She closed her eyes for a second, hoping to erase the images. Stuffing the memories back down, Michelle opened her eyes and nodded. “Yeah, they’re on the couch. Right this way.”
Walking through the foyer and into the living room, she couldn’t help but be conscious of Guy’s presence as he followed. His scent wrapped around her. They were alone in her house. She let out a sigh. No, the twins and Jo were in the house. And there were no romantic intentions.
She spared him a glance and froze at the tender look on his face. He’s looking at the girls, not you. Still, her pulse picked up speed. Don’t remember, Michelle.
“They were good, and as you can see, I wore them out.”
“Thanks again.” He peered down at his daughters, sprawled out on her couch. “Did you do their hair?”
“Yes. They wanted twists.”
“How do they even know what those are?”
His baffled expression would be her undoing. How had this man ended up with girls? “I was showing them my old pictures and they saw one when I was about four or five. They thought they were cute so I did them. I did them tight so they should last you a couple of days before you have to wash their hair or put another style in.”
“Wow, thank you.”
“No, problem.” Emotions swirled in the air like static electricity. It was time for him to leave before she capitulated to the feelings. “I can take Rebekah to the car while you grab Rachel.”
He nodded and picked the oldest twin up. She bent down and picked up Bekah and followed him to the car. Her heart stopped then picked up the pace as Bekah leaned into her neck and wrapped her arm tightly around Michelle. The urge to snuggle the sweet girl tugged at her. She blinked rapidly, amazed at the emotions running rampant.
When she put Bekah in the car seat, it was all she could do to keep her hands steady. Why, oh, why did she think watching the little girls was a good idea? She should have said no. Come up with any excuse to prevent her from getting emotionally involved.
Michelle waved as Guy backed out of the driveway. She turned and dropped her hand, letting her arms fall to her side. Her very empty arms.
The urge to cry overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes as tears beat against her eyelids. She shouldn’t have gotten involved. Because now, her heart was wound tightly around those little girls’ fingers. Her throat began to ache, the tension building with every step toward her room. She sat down on her bed, noticing a stray photo album. It was open to a photo of her in her mother’s lap, both of them with huge grins on their faces.
The ache intensified as a tear fell onto the picture, running its way down the plastic covering. “What did I do?” she cried as tears fell freely.
Though the cry echoed the torment of letting Guy’s twins in her heart, she couldn’t help but remember a cry of the past. When she had laid on an exam table wondering what she had done.
THE QUIET NIGHT GREETED him as Guy watched his daughters sleeping in their toddler beds. They always looked so innocent while they slept. Traces of their mischief were hidden in their peaceful slumber. He smiled as Bekah turned, a thumb in her mouth.
No matter how much he tried, she refused to stop sucking her thumb. Nana Baker had tri
ed using cayenne pepper on her thumb, but it didn’t work. Bekah was used to the spices from when he cooked.
Guy leaned against the doorjamb, feeling sleep crash over him in waves. He needed to hit the sack but couldn’t. His mind was a whirl of thoughts. To think, Michelle had actually seemed to enjoy spending time with his girls. They looked adorable with their hair twisted.
Guy just couldn’t reconcile the girl from his past with the woman of his future. He gulped. He didn’t mean a future with her, more like she was in his life by proximity. Oh yeah, it was time to rest.
His thoughts were becoming jumbled and his heartbeat was erratic as he pictured Michelle’s beautiful face. The gorgeous hazel eyes that flashed fire when angry or turned to liquid amber when concerned. As he padded down the hall, he was barely aware of fingering the love knot ring in his pocket.
MONDAY MORNING CAME too soon, but for the first time in a while, Guy didn’t feel sluggish. Maybe Evan had been right. He just needed a guy’s night out. With a wave good-bye, he backed out of Nana Baker’s driveway. It was time to track down leads on John Davenport.
Mr. Davenport no longer held a valid Indiana driver’s license, so it was safe to assume he was no longer a resident. Guy had made some calls to a contact back in Virginia, hoping his friend could locate him. If he was in the U.S., his license would pop up somewhere. With any luck, Davenport’s name wouldn’t be a common one. And if so, his birth date should eradicate any duplicates.
He strolled through the Sheriff’s department, waving and nodding a greeting to his deputies. He slowed down as he drew closer to his office.
Holly looked up from her desk outside his office. “Good morning, Sheriff.” Her voice carried its normal chipper tone.
“Morning, Holly.”
“How was your weekend?” She swiveled in her chair, following his movements as he made his way to the doorway of his office.
He stopped and faced her. “It was pretty good. Hung out with some friends.”
“That’s always a blessing.” She twirled her pen. “You know I could always watch your girls if you need to take a break. I’m sure Samantha would love the company.”
Guy nodded but doubted he would take her up on the offer. He didn’t like to mix his business and personal life. “I appreciate it. I’ll be making some calls, so hold any incoming ones unless it’s an emergency.”
“Sure thing, Sheriff.”
He closed his door and made his way to his chair. Should he have a conversation with Holly? It seemed presumptuous to assume she was being overly friendly because she was interested in him. Maybe she was just a friendly person. Wouldn’t anyone offer to babysit? He had never seen a mean bone present in his über friendly secretary. You’re just blowing things out of proportion, man.
Guy picked up his desk phone and checked his watch. Daniel would either be awake or getting ready to sleep depending on what shift he’d been assigned to. Taking a gamble, Guy dialed his friend’s number.
“It’s the G-man. How’ve you been?”
“Hey, Dan, I’m settling in nicely.”
“Good to hear. How are the girls?”
“Loving life. They fit right in.”
“Awesome. I know you didn’t call to chit-chat though.”
“No, sorry. I wanted to see what you found out about Davenport.”
“Right, sorry I didn’t get back to you right away. He was pretty easy to track down. He’s in Columbus, Ohio right now.”
“Columbus? You’re sure it’s him.”
“Definitely. He looks the same as his Indiana license except more mature.”
“Have you found anything else out?”
“He’s married with three kids.”
Ouch.
Guy sat back in his chair. He didn’t know Chloe well enough to know if this would make her happy or upset. “Do you have contact information for him?”
“Yes, you ready to jot it down?”
He pulled a pen out of his breast pocket and slanted the paper. “Ready.”
Guy wrote down the address and phone numbers as Dan rattled them off. He placed his pen back in his pocket. “Thanks, D, I owe you one.”
“No problem, man. You take care of those girls.”
“Will do.”
He stared down at the notepad. This was information that needed to be passed on in person. He hoped Michelle was ready to help Chloe through this. Chloe was going to need it.
“IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE complications and are comfortable going forward, sign right here.”
Michelle stared at the liability form. Now that Guy was MIA she had no choice but to look out for herself. She couldn’t have this baby. But could she go through this?
Her eyes smarted with tears. Her mother was no longer here to guide her. She was alone. All alone. Michelle took a deep breath and signed her name.
“Thank you. I’ll take you to the next room and give you a clean gown. The procedure takes a few minutes and then we’ll let you rest before you get dressed. Do you have any questions?”
The nurse stared at her, her eyes vacant from the routine of it all. She probably sat here day in and day out, hour after hour, minute by minute, saying the same rehearsed speech to all the women getting abortions.
The thought did not comfort Michelle at all. But what choice did she have? “No, I don’t have any questions.”
“Then right this way.”
Michelle blinked, pulling herself back to the present. The coffee maker in her office slowly dripped. Last night’s dreams still haunted her. It was the reason she had to use an extra dose of cover up when she put her makeup on this morning.
The dream had been similar to all the ones she had back when she was eighteen. Only now, instead of imagining what the child would have looked like, the child held the face of one of Guy’s twins. Since she had babysat them, the dream had occurred nightly. Every night it altered between Rebekah and Rachel’s face staring back at her.
She gulped the hot liquid, needing to erase the images from her mind. Her eyes watered as the tip of her tongue burned then went numb. Silence broke at the sound of a quiet cough. She froze and slowly turned around. Guy stood in the breakroom of her office, a pensive look on his face.
“I called out but you didn’t answer.”
He looks like his girls. They had the same look on their face whenever they concentrated. “Sorry about that.” She walked forward and held up her cup. “Want some coffee?”
Guy shook his head and held up a slip of paper. “No, just came by to give you some information.”
She set her mug down and took the offered paper. Her eyes skimmed the sheet, noting the information for John Davenport. She looked up sharply. “You found him?”
“A friend of mine did. I figured you’d want this information pretty quick.”
She looked down at it again. The man was one state away. How was she going to tell Chloe?
“Are you going to contact him?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. She had no idea what to do.
“Well you know Chloe. How do you think she’ll take the information?”
Michelle grabbed her cup and headed to her office. She motioned for him to follow. “Honestly, this whole thing has surprised me. I would have never figured she wanted to know her father. She always seemed so confidant with life.”
Guy sat down, his uniform shirt tightening across his chest.
Why couldn’t he have gotten fat?
“Then just give her the facts. She started this and probably knows how far to take it. Just be there if she breaks.”
“Thanks for the advice.”
He stood and slipped his hands into his pocket. “Thanks again for watching the girls Saturday.”
“I had a great time.”
“They did too. They wanted to see you Sunday, but I told them you needed to rest.”
What was she supposed to say to that?
Guy took a step back, his brow furrowing. “Would you like to join us one
day at the park?”
Her mouth parted. Guy wanted her to hang out with him and his kids? “I...”
He waved a hand, effectively shutting her mouth. “Forget I asked. I’m sure you have better things to do. I’ll catch you later.” He was out of her office before her mind could catch up.
What just happened?
Chapter Thirteen
Michelle looked around LeeAnn’s Bakery. The lunch crowd wasn’t as heavy as she expected it to be. Granted, most of the folks of Freedom Lake drove to Kodiak City to work; however, it still seemed emptier than usual. Whatever was keeping the crowd to a minimum, she was thankful. Telling Chloe about John Davenport wouldn’t be easy, but hopefully a yummy lunch at LeeAnn’s would help smooth the path.
She hoped.
Lord, please give me the words. I don’t know how to break this to Chloe. If You’re truly a God that works things for good, please let this be one of them.
Her fist clinched as she thought of the potential storm this could create. Chloe was so mild mannered, but the tears she had shed when asking Michelle for help wouldn’t escape her memory. It showed how deeply Chloe felt about the whole ordeal. Michelle desperately wanted to help her friend...needed to help her.
When Chloe walked through the bakery doors, Michelle’s fingernails picked up a nervous rhythm, tapping on the tabletop in sync to her pounding heartbeat. Here goes nothing.
She stood to greet Chloe. “Hey, girl. How’s your day going?”
“Good. I had a new client consult.” Chloe rubbed her hands together, a smile lighting her face. “I can’t wait to get my hands on their place.”
Michelle gave her an answering grin. It was funny how people had the same reactions but for different reasons. She always felt that tingle of excitement when she received a new OWI case.
“What are you drinking?” Chloe asked.
“Coffee.”
Chloe’s nose scrunched up. “I’m going to get some tea. Are we eating lunch here as well?”
