by S. J. West
Forgiven
By
S.J. West
Chapter 1Can any sin be forgiven?
As I looked at the three fallen angels around me, I had to wonder. I knew Brand, the love of my life and soon to be husband, yearned to be forgiven by God for going against His law. Yet, knowing what he did now, would Brand have chosen a different path or did he feel as though he made the right decision all those years ago?
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Abby’s mother, I knew for a fact we wouldn’t be together now. As selfish as it might sound, I was glad he had fallen out of God’s grace because I couldn’t imagine living my life without him. I would have been left living a half existence not knowing why I felt so incomplete.
People say we each have a soul mate: that one person whose ethereal essence matches the ragged edges of our own. I guess when I was younger I always thought that person would be Will for me, one of my best friends since childhood. It wasn’t until I met Brand that I came to realize what it truly meant to find your other half. He made me stronger and braver than I could ever be on my own. If there was a way to discover the true reason Lucifer needed me before it was too late, I knew Brand would be the one to help me find it.
For the last two weeks my small troupe of angels had been trying their best to figure out Uriel’s cryptic message to me. Just when I thought the arch angel had me cornered and was about to hand me over to Robert to be butchered, he let me go with the promise he would cease trying to orchestrate ‘accidents’ leading to my untimely demise. Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about the implications of one of his statements to me: “There is no sin in a martyr’s death.”
His meaning was clear. He thought I should kill myself before becoming Lucifer’s pawn. When I questioned why he decided to abandon his attempts to end my life, he said God had intervened on my behalf. He didn’t seem to know the exact reason why, after all these years, God ordered him to end his attempts, but he assumed it was because I chose to do something which would ultimately lead to the failure of Lucifer’s plans. I had no way of knowing what it was I had chosen to do but sincerely hoped I didn’t change my mind about it unknowingly. As Uriel had said, humans are fickle creatures and often stray from the right path.
“So, what do we know so far for sure?” I asked.
Brand, Will, Malcolm and I were sitting around the dining room table in Brand’s house. Will was still combing the internet for clues to Lucifer’s plans on his laptop. Malcolm was searching through an old book of legends, and Brand was helping me stuff Jordan almonds into little red and white silk pouches. On top of everything else, we were still preparing things for our wedding which was only a week away. Considering the world as we knew it might be on the verge of collapse, it seemed like an inconsequential activity to be performing. That is until you factored in my mother had practically ordered us to fill the more than two hundred silk purses before the end of the weekend.
“We don’t seem to know much, dearest,” Malcolm said, closing the book in his hands. When he looked up at me, I could see his worry about my fate clearly in his eyes.
“I haven’t been able to find anything going on in the world during the timeframe we were given,” Will said. “There just isn’t much happening in December.”
“What about the Mayan Doomsday thing everyone seems to be talking about?” I asked.
“It’s a bunch of hogwash,” Malcolm said dismissively. “Something the news media has sensationalized.”
“So nothing is supposed to happen? Nothing at all?” I asked, desperate to have some clue as to what Lucifer’s real plan for me was.
“Not that I can find,” Will sighed. From the slight droop of his shoulders, I knew Will had spent endless hours searching for something which would shed more light on what we could expect to happen.
I felt a pair of warm hands cover mine. I looked over at Brand and tried to muster up a smile for him.
“Have faith,” he said to me, squeezing my hands. “God knows you will do what’s right. If He has that much trust in you, we need to trust Him too.”
“Brand’s right,” Malcolm said. “We’re probably worrying over nothing. Everything will work out in the end, dearest. Don’t worry.”
I tried to smile and put on a brave face for them, but I felt sure it looked as strained as I felt.
“Anyway,” Malcolm said, “aren’t you supposed to be going out with the girls today?”
“That’s the plan,” I replied, piling my share of the almond purses in a white basket festooned with artificial red roses. “They didn’t tell me where we’re supposed to be going though.”
“It’s your bachelorette party,” Malcolm shrugged. “I don’t think you’re supposed to have all the details. Some of it needs to be kept a surprise.”
From the broad smile on Malcolm’s face, I had a feeling he knew more about my party than he was letting on.
“Well, it’s just going to be the four of us,” I said. “I doubt it’ll be anything too elaborate.”
“Abby’s been pretty tight lipped about what they have planned.” Brand looked down at his watch. “In fact, it’s about time for us to head over to Allan’s house.”
“So he’s really coming over here?” Malcolm asked. “I never thought I would see the day he willingly stepped out of his house.”
“He’s stronger than he knows,” I said, feeling a need to come to Allan’s defense. “He proved that when he followed Robert to that forest when he kidnapped Angela.”
My protectors fell silent and found somewhere else to look at the reminder of that night.
They all felt as though they let me and everyone else down Halloween night when Robert orchestrated his game of Bait. Robert had only been able to force me to be part of his sadistic game because he kidnapped Abby, Angela, Sebastian, Tara and Malik all at the same time. I never would have been able to forgive myself if Brand’s daughter Abby, Malcolm’s son Sebastian, and Allan’s daughter Angela, had consumed the blood of my best friend Tara and my fairy godfather, Malik. If they had, their souls would have been deemed unforgivable in God’s eye, a fate all of my Watcher friends had been feverishly protecting their children from since their birth.
Even though Malcolm had only recently started abstaining from giving into his vampiric ways, I knew he had been protecting his son from following in his footsteps and face a doomed fate. He wanted Sebastian to have a chance of reaching Heaven. A privilege he himself had lost long ago.
Will and Malcolm made excuses to leave soon after.
Brand took me into his arms holding me tight. “You know we’ll never forgive ourselves for what happened that night.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, looking up into the warm gray eyes of my future husband. “If anyone should feel blame about what happened that night it’s me.”
Brand shook his head. “You can’t think like that Lilly. It wasn’t your fault either. You’ve been an innocent pawn in all of this. You didn’t choose how you came into this world, and I can’t imagine anyone else who could have faced what you have and still be sane.”
“I wish Uriel had at least told me who my father was. Maybe then we would know more.”
“We’ll find the answer to that,” Brand said, full of confidence. “I have faith in Him. He’ll show us the right path.”
Even though God refused to let Brand and the other Watcher angels back into Heaven because they fell in love with human women, the man who held my heart still believed his father would help us in our quest. I myself had never been very religious. Yes, I had always believed i
n a higher power. Whether that was just ingrained in my genetic code or because Utha Mae had me sit in a pew at her church every chance she got, I couldn’t tell. But considering I now knew for a fact He existed, it didn’t much matter.
When Brand and I phased to Allan’s home, we found him and Angela waiting for us outside the front door of their fortified castle, a fact which in itself seemed to be a small miracle. As far as I knew, Allan hadn’t stepped outside his home expect for the two times he visited me in the hospital and when he helped me get my friends away from Robert that night in the forest.
As soon as Allan saw me he smiled in relief. I saw his shoulders visibly relax. Angela waved to us and held tightly to her father’s hand as they walked towards us. I began to wonder if I was sorely underdressed for my bachelorette party since Angela was wearing a sleeveless white cocktail dress and high heel shoes.
“We thought we’d get some fresh air while we waited,” Angela explained. Her happiness at the new found strength her father had recently discovered within himself written plainly on her face.
“So I don’t suppose you would be willing to tell me what’s on the agenda for today?” I asked Angela.
“Nope,” she said. “I promised Tara I wouldn’t say a word. You’ll find out soon enough.”
“Is it something I’m going to like it?”
“If you don’t, the rest of us will.” Angela’s smile was so bright with enthusiasm it immediately made me suspicious.
“Angela hasn’t even told me what’s happening,” Allan said. “And she usually tells me everything.”
Angela’s cheeks took on a rosy hue. “I couldn’t possibly tell you, Dad. It would just be too embarrassing,” she confessed. “I’ll let Lilly explain it to you later when you come pick me up if you still want to know.”
“From what you’re saying, I’m sort of scared this might be something that scars me for life,” I said in all seriousness. What did my best friend have planned which would make Angela’s cheeks flush so hotly?
“It won’t be that bad,” Angela giggled. “But just remember it’s all in good fun.”
It was then I knew I should have badgered Tara into divulging the details of her plans to me. The only reason I hadn’t was because I still felt guilt over her involvement in Robert’s deadly game. She would forever bare a nasty scar as an eternal reminder of how close she came to dying because of me. For that reason alone, I knew she would have carte blanche to whatever she wanted from me for the rest of her life.
We phased Allan and Angela to the living room in Brand’s home. Since angels can only phase to places they had either been to before or had followed another angel’s phase trail to, Allan’s personal book of phasing locations was extremely limited. Bringing him to Brand’s home in Lakewood was a monumental step forward for both him and Angela. Now he would be able to phase Angela to Brand’s anytime she wished to visit any of us.
Allan’s eyes studied his surroundings critically. I knew his compulsive disorder made him acutely aware of the cleanliness of his environment which was one reason I had Brand hire a cleaning crew to scrub down every nook and cranny of his home the day before. Allan’s attention was soon drawn to a Brand’s painting of me hanging in the dining area.
“You captured her completely,” Allan said in awe, staring at the painting of me in the dress I wore to the Black and White ball.
Brand hung it up the day before after the cleaning crew was done.
“If I can’t have you in my arms tomorrow,” he had said to me. “At least I can have your picture hanging up to keep me company.”
He was always doing that: saying things only a romance novel hero could get away with. It was only the sincerity of his declarations which told me he truly meant them.
“Wow, that really is a good painting of you, Lilly,” Angela said going to stand closer to it. “Did you do this Brand?”
“Yes, he did,” I answered for him, hugging his arm tight. To me, Brand’s portraits of me didn’t quite look like how I thought I looked. The girl in his paintings held an ethereal beauty I just couldn’t see in my own reflection.
“It looks just like you,” Angela said, seeming to have a hard time dragging her eyes away from the picture.
“Do you have one of Lilly I could have?” Allan asked.
“Why would you want one?” I questioned. It seemed an odd request.
“Am I out of line for asking?” Allan stammered, making me immediately regret questioning his motives.
“No, of course not,” Brand was quick to reply. “I have plenty of similar paintings for you to choose from, old friend. Why don’t you come up to my studio and pick one for yourself?”
Allan visibly relaxed.
Brand bent his head down to mine and kissed me lightly on the lips.
“Why don’t you girls go on ahead? I’ll show Allan the rest of the house while you’re gone.”
“We’ll be back before sunset,” I promised.
I had to have Angela and Abby back before they were due to change into their werewolf counterparts. That was the curse of the Watcher children. They were able to live a normal life except for when the moon rose and forced them to transform into the nightmare beast of legend.
Not completely satisfied with such a simple peck on the lips I turned to our guest and said, “Would you please excuse us for just one moment?”
Without waiting for them to answer, I drug Brand out the French doors to the porch on the backside of the house. Once the door was closed, I immediately wrapped my arms around Brand’s neck pulling his lips down to mine for a proper kiss. The silky texture of his tongue against mine melted my will to leave him for even a minute much less an entire day. As if feeling my resolve to leave him completely dissolve under his touch, Brand pulled away, albeit reluctantly.
“If you don’t go now,” he said huskily, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to let you leave at all. Then I would have the wrath of Tara Jenkins to deal with and that is not something I would willing inflict upon myself.”
I groaned in frustration. “I know. I don’t know why I agreed to do this. I’m not really a party person.”
“You agreed because she wanted to do it for you.”
Brand put his hands on my shoulders and promptly turned me back around to indicate I needed to go back into the house and leave before his own will to let me go crumbled along side mine.
Angela informed me I was to phase us to Tara’s house first.
After the events on Halloween, we talked Tara into taking up residence in what was once Abby’s house on Brand’s property. At first she refused because she said she would feel like a kept woman since Brand refused to let her pay rent or any of the utility bills.
“You’re part of my family now,” he told her. “And I take care of my family.”
It wasn’t like Brand couldn’t afford to. I didn’t ask him to fully disclose just how rich he was, but I knew he had more than he could possibly spend in a hundred lifetimes.
I phased Angela and I to Tara’s front door. Tara hated for people to phase in on top of her, mostly because it scared her to death. I couldn’t blame her. I could still remember how scared I was when I first saw Malcolm phase the night he and I first met. Though, to be fair, he had been sent to kill me that night. It was only the special qualities of my blood which stopped him. Now, I couldn’t imagine not having Malcolm in my life. He had quickly become one of my closest friends. Even though I knew he thought he was in love with me, I couldn’t stop myself caring for him deeply.
The house Tara now stayed in had at one time been a barn on the property until Brand had it completely remodeled for Abby. Abby had no use for the house anymore. She and Malcolm’s son had fallen in love and spent their days and nights together at Malcolm’s house. At first Brand and Malcolm were resistant to the idea of their children pledging themselves to one another. They were very much like real wolves in the sense that once they chose a mate it was for life. The mere concept of them having to be in
each other’s lives for such a long time had disconcerted both Brand and Malcolm. I knew they only suffered through having to be around each other for my sake but now they would be forever bound to one another through their children.
“Come on in!” Tara called after my knock.
When we entered, Tara came down the steps from the upper level where the bedroom was. She wore a short blood red strapless dress carrying a pair of black high heels in one hand. The only thing marring her ensemble was the large white bandage she had to wear against the wound on her neck.
“I feel sorely underdressed,” I said, looking down at my jeans and plain white blouse.
“Don’t worry, girl, Abby’s got your dress.” Tara leaned against the rail of the stairs to slip her shoes on. “I told you I would have everything handled for today. And that includes your outfit.”
Tara walked to the couch in the living room and picked up a black sheer scarf which she wrapped once around her neck to hide the bandage.
Next, we phased to Malcolm’s house. Malcolm promptly directed us to Abby and Sebastian’s suite of rooms.
“They’re so in love it makes me a bit nauseous at time,” Malcolm confessed as we walked to the West wing of his house. “I thought it best if they had a private spot to paw at one another.”
“Did you really just say paw?” I asked him, amused he would use werewolf humor.
“Well, if you had to watch them all the time you wouldn’t fault me for my observation, dearest.”
Abby was waiting for us in her bedroom. I was surprised to see she wasn’t wearing a wig. She wore her natural white hair down allowing her glittering mane a chance to shine.
“No wig today?” I asked her.
“Nope, don’t need it where we’re going. I should fit right in. At most, people will think I’m an entertainer of some sort.”
“Ok, so is anyone going to tell me where we’re going?” If it was a place where Abby’s natural hair color wasn’t conspicuous, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go.
“No,” the three of them said in unison.
