I handed the five dresses I selected to the saleswoman so she could set me up in a dressing room of my own. Before going in to try them on I wanted to check on Violet’s progress. “How’s it going in there?” I asked, as I stood right outside their door.
“Great!” Violet and my mother answered in unison.
“Can I see?”
“Not yet!” Violet answered as she cracked open the door sticking just her head out. “We are narrowing it down. You’ll see our favorite ones. What did you get?”
“Two can play this game. You’ll only see my favorite ones too,” I answered as I headed into my own dressing room. I tried on dresses as my daughter and mother continued to laugh. The sound was like music to my ears. I had no difficulty picking out my favorite. It was a one shoulder, A-line dress in a beautiful shade of wine. It was form fitting around my waist, but had a long flared bottom, which reached my ankles.
“I’m ready!” I said as I emerged from the dressing room.
My mom was once again sitting on the sofa in the center of the store sipping her drink. “Annabel, you look beautiful. Twirl around for me, would you?” she ordered.
I did as instructed. “You approve, Mother?”
“Most definitely! It is perfect for you. Just let Sophia check it out to see if any alterations are needed.”
Sophia measured every single aspect of the dress. She strategically placed pins where she felt improvements were needed. Personally I felt the dress fit wonderfully as it was, but I knew better than to argue. After all, Beatrice always strived for perfection.
“Can I come out yet?” Violet asked as she once again poked her head out of the dressing room.
“In a second,” Beatrice instructed as she stood up and walked over to Violet’s dressing room door. Turning to me she said, “I know that we said we’d show you our favorites, but like you, we found the perfect dress. Without further ado, I introduce the one, the only, the most beautiful Violet.”
My mother opened the door and Violet emerged glowing. Imitating a runway model she strutted her stuff. She walked a few feet away from my mom. Then she stopped, put her hand on her hip, spun around in a circle, paused again and marched back to where my mother stood. Clearly they planned this routine. She looked amazing, just like a princess. The dress was pale pink. It was sleeveless with a round neck, the bodice was sequined, and it had a tulle-overlaid skirt.
“You sure did find the perfect dress!” I exclaimed. “Violet you look gorgeous!”
“You don’t look too shabby yourself, Mommy.”
With that, Sophia took her pins to where my daughter stood and focused her attention on Violet’s dress. I put my clothes back on and then sat down on the couch next to my mother as I waited for Violet to finish up.
“It was great seeing you two having so much fun together.”
“I know! I’ve always gotten a kick out of her. But today… Annabel, I had a blast. She’s such a wonderful girl, and so funny! She really is a character. You did a great job with her. You sure have yourself an amazing daughter.”
Although her words should have made me feel happy, they had the adverse affect on me. Despite the fact that my mother didn’t offer praise often, there were a few rare occasions where she had complimented my daughter. Don’t get me wrong. I was always thrilled when she praised Violet. But the problem is where she sometimes compliments my daughter; she’s never had one positive thing to say about my son.
“She is an amazing girl,” I replied. “I am very fortunate. I have two amazing kids. My son is equally outstanding.”
Beatrice opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She ran her fingers through her hair and rummaged through her purse. When she finally did speak all she said was, “I better go pay for the dresses.”
CHAPTER 15
I STOOD AT THE STOVE, early Saturday morning when the telephone rang. Without having to glance at the caller ID, Cole said, “That’ll be my mom.” He walked over to me and reached for the spatula I had in my hand. “Give it to me. I’ll finish scrambling the eggs for the kids. Go. Answer the phone, and talk to her.”
I slowly reached for the phone and headed out of the kitchen. Without fail Connie never forgot the anniversary. She always made sure to call me first thing in the morning every year. Her soothing voice and kind words always encouraged me and helped get me through this difficult day. The conversation was never long. She knew I preferred not to talk about it. She just wanted to reassure me that she was thinking about me and loved me. This year, she spoke to me a little longer.
“Have you called your mother today?” She asked, pointedly.
“No,” I replied as I nervously twirled a lock of hair around my index finger.
“You are going to, aren’t you?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know, probably not. I don’t normally call her on this day. I try to avoid her, actually. I never know how she is going to act. I can’t handle her taking her frustrations out on me.” And then as an afterthought, I quietly added, “Again.”
“I know Anna, but don’t you think this year should be different? After all, you’ve been spending a lot of time with her. Much more than you ever have before, isn’t that right?”
“Yes, but—”
Connie cut me off before I could continue. “But nothing. Today is just as hard for your mother as it is for you. In fact I would bet it is probably harder for her. I think it would be really nice if you called her today.”
“I don’t know, Connie. Part of me really wants to but the other part of me is worried.” I nervously picked at a cuticle as I spoke.
“What are you worried about?” She didn’t give me a chance to answer; she kept on speaking. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing. After all that has happened with you and your mother, what do you really think would be so bad? Come on, don’t be a wimp, Anna. Just do it, call her.” Connie hung up the phone guaranteeing she got the last word.
I didn’t stop to think. I just acted. I really did long to speak to my mother today. I wanted to somehow comfort each other. It was possible, wasn’t it? I dialed the numbers to my mother’s home phone quickly. After a few rings, I was greeted by Walter’s deep voice.
“Hey, Anna. How you doing today?” Walter asked, compassionately.
“As well as can be expected,” I answered honestly as I stared out of the den window. Not wanting to make small talk, I quickly asked if my mom was around.
“No, I’m afraid not. You just missed her, actually. She left for the cemetery a couple of minutes ago.”
“She did?” I asked, surprised. I haven’t gone in years, so I guess I automatically assumed she didn’t either.
“Yes. She goes often actually. Usually I go with her but today she wanted to go by herself so I stayed home. You should head over there and meet her. I’m sure she’d appreciate you coming.”
“I’m not sure, Walter.” I walked back to the sofa and sat down.
“Why not? I think it may do both of you some good.”
“She may be gone by the time I can drive over there. After all, you guys are closer than I am.”
“I doubt it. She usually stays for quite a while. I’m sure she’ll still be there. What’s the worst that could happen if you miss her? You can always go visit your brother while you’re out that way.”
I took a deep breath. I thought for a moment and then replied, “You’ve got a point, Walter. I think I’ll take a chance.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful, Anna.” He answered, sounding very pleased. Then, in a softer tone he added, “Hang in there, sweetie. Every year it gets easier. Trust me, I know.”
It only took me a few minutes to throw on black slacks and a lightweight sweater. When I reentered the kitchen. Cole was sitting at the table with the kids buttering a piece of toast for Harley. “You okay?” he asked as he placed the toast on our son’s plate.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I’m going to take a ride. I’ll be back in a few hours. Beatrice is at the cemetery,
and believe it or not I’m going to join her there.” I walked over to the stove where I had abandoned my coffee cup earlier. Despite it now being ice-cold, I grabbed it and took a big gulp before placing it in the sink.
“Did you speak to her?” Cole asked as he got up and stood next to me.
“No, she wasn’t home. I spoke to Walter. He told me where she was. It was actually his idea for me to join her.”
Cole put his hand on the small of my back and whispered in my ear. “Do you really think showing up there today, unannounced, is a good idea?”
I looked in his eyes and answered honestly. “I don’t know.”
“I’m not sure I like the idea of you going there alone. Why don’t I come with you? We can drop the kids off at my parent’s house.”
“Thanks, but that isn’t necessary. I’ll be fine. I know I could be making a huge mistake, but I feel like I have to go. And I have to go now,” I joked, “Before I change my mind.”
Cole combed his fingers through his hair. “Fine. I’m not going to stop you, Anna. You are a big girl. You need to do whatever you feel is right. I just want you to have realistic expectations. Be happy if you’re met with a warm reception, but prepare yourself for the opposite. And please, promise me you won’t let anything your mother says get you down. Remember, regardless of what she says and thinks, you are the most amazing woman in the world. Don’t let her fog up your clarity. You are smart, beautiful and have a heart of gold. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, and you have brought so much joy into so many lives.” He then kissed me.
***
As I merged onto the parkway and drove towards the eastern end of Long Island where the cemetery was located, flashes from the past kept coming to the forefront of my mind. I truly couldn’t believe how naive I used to be. They say ignorance is bliss, and I could attest to that fact. I should have known better, but late night telephone calls were never any cause for alarm. They were usually humorous. I hated to admit it, but Cole and I loved getting them. It usually meant one of our friends or siblings found themselves in a precarious situation where booze was often involved. Also, the best dating drama always happened in the middle of the night. I remembered that night like it was yesterday. When the phone rang around two thirty in the morning, after glancing at caller id and seeing my brother’s cell phone number, I mouthed to Cole, who was my fiancé at the time, this should be good. I answered using my generic middle of the night greeting, “Annabel’s advice line, how may I help you?”
But instead of my laughing brother, Brody, on the other end, an unfamiliar, but strong, male voice replied, “Excuse me?” He didn’t sound amused. And he didn’t give me a chance to reply. “Are you related to Brody Buchanan?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, quietly as I sat up straight in bed. I immediately sensed something was off. My heart started pounding. “Is something wrong?” I felt all the color drain from my face. “Who is this?” Cole sat up at the sound of my voice. His eyes were glued on me. “I’m his sister,” barely made it out of my mouth. I paused almost forgetting my name, “Anna... Annabel.”
“Annabel, I am Officer Davis. I’m very sorry to have to inform you, but there has been an accident. Your brother was riding his motorcycle on Long Beach Road and was hit by a drunk driver.”
“What?” I asked out of reflex even though I had heard him crystal clear. I found it hard to breathe. I managed to mutter, “Is he okay?”
“He is in an ambulance on his way to Mercy Hospital right now. I suggest you and your family come as quickly as you can. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t look good.”
I buried my face in my hands as he continued. “I’ll be at the hospital when you get there. But Annabel, like I said before, please hurry.”
“Oh... Okay. Um... Thank you, Officer,” I said, robotically.
“Anna, what’s wrong?” Cole asked.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, as tears streamed down my face, I dialed my mother’s phone number. She answered on the third ring.
She didn’t say hello when she answered. Instead, sounding irritated, she asked, “Do you have any idea what time it is, Annabel?”
“Not now, Mother. You need to get to Mercy Hospital like five minutes ago. It’s Brody. He’s been in an accident. A drunk driver hit him. The police just called, they said he’s really hurt.” I then proceeded to parrot back everything the officer just told me.
“I’m on my way,” Beatrice simply replied before the line went dead.
I dropped the phone and put both my hands over my face and sobbed. I was frozen. I couldn’t move from my bed, and I didn’t want to.
“Come on, Anna,” Cole, who had already managed to get dressed, gently coaxed me. “You gotta get dressed. We can make it there in twenty minutes if you hurry. Try not to worry, sweetie. He’ll be fine.”
“But what if he isn’t?”
“Don’t think that way. Come on baby you have to get up.” Cole picked up the jeans I had casually tossed on the floor by the bed a few hours ago and handed them to me. I was shaking uncontrollably as I put them on.
As Cole sped through the dark and semi-deserted roads, he held onto the steering wheel with his left hand while his right hand tightly grasped my frigid fingers. I was so afraid for my baby brother. Nothing felt real, not even my fiancé's touch. After all, I was just with my brother a few hours ago. Brody joined Cole and I for dinner and then he came back to our apartment to watch a movie. We had a great time, and when he left he was planning on meeting up with some friends.
“Anna. Look at me. Now!” Cole insisted. He maneuvered the vehicle around several police cars.
I didn’t listen.
“Don’t do this to yourself just look away,” Cole whispered as he tried to cover my eyes with his right hand. I pushed him away. I didn’t want to look, but I couldn’t resist. There, lying in the middle of the road was my brother’s mangled motorcycle, and what looked like too much blood.
I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out, just sobs.
“Hang on. We are almost there, Baby.” Cole said softly as he extended his arm. I nestled next to him and closed my eyes for the rest of the trip. Fortunately, the hospital was only about fifteen minutes away from the site of the accident.
As soon as he pulled up to the emergency room entrance I flung open the door and raced inside. I didn’t even give Cole a chance to put the car into park. I immediately spotted two police officers standing off to the side holding cups of coffee. I ran over to them. “Officer Davis?” I asked as I glanced back and forth between the two men.
The taller and rounder of the pair slowly nodded his head. “Yes. Are you Annabel?”
I nodded as Cole appeared by my side. “He’s in with the doctors, but I am sure they will let you see him,” he said as he exchanged a look with one of the nurses.
“My mom is on her way too,” I explained.
“That’s good. My partner will stay here. He will look out for her. Come on, let’s go.”
I don’t know what I expected to see when they pulled back the curtain surrounding the bed where my brother laid. But the image that greeted me was far worse than anything I could have imagined in my worst nightmares. His head was wrapped in thick gauze; blood was seeping through the bandages. His left eye was gashed and swollen. His left arm hung lifelessly at his side while his right leg was suspended in the air in traction. He had tubes coming out of numerous body parts and a respirator assisted his breathing.
“Family I presume?” the tall, balding doctor asked.
“Yes, I am his sister, and this is my fiancé.” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. I couldn’t take my eyes off my brother. My legs started to wobble. Cole must have noticed because he put his arm around my waist to steady me.
The doctor squeezed my arm gently as he replied, “Okay, I'll give you a few minutes, but then we have to move him to ICU.”
I went around to the right side of the bed and took his hand in mine. I looked over at the d
octor. “Can he hear me?” I asked. The doctor nodded his head, affirmatively, before walking out of the room.
“Brody, buddy? What happened to you?” I asked, as Cole gently rubbed my back. “I’ve got to admit I’ve seen you looking better. But don’t you worry, I know you're gonna pull through.” I don’t know who I was trying to assure more, him or myself. By the way my voice was cracking I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it together much longer.
Cole, whose mother was a nurse, leaned over and whispered into my ear, “Really talk to him, Anna. He just needs to hear your voice.”
I nodded my head at Cole, and whispered, “Okay. I’ll try.” I took a deep breath as I tried to hold back my tears. I rubbed my brother’s good arm and said, “Oh, Brody. You are the same prankster you always were. You were just saying a few hours ago how you didn’t want to go to work on Monday, well it sure looks like you found a way to get out of that one.” I looked up at Cole for reassurance and he gave me the thumbs up, so I continued. “You really pulled out all the stops, didn’t you? Hey, do you remember the time when you had that big math test. I think you were in fifth grade, and—”
I was cut off by the sound of my mother screaming as she barreled her way over to Brody’s bed. “Oh my God! My baby. MY BABY!”
The beeps of his heart monitor quickened. “Mom, I think we should stay calm around him. I don’t think it is good to agitate him,” I said as my eyes studied the jumps of his monitors.
With venom in her voice, my mother answered. “Don’t tell me what to do or how to act, Annabel. I’m his mother. You’ve done enough already, don’t you think?”
I had no idea what she was talking about. I was about to ask her when the doctor reappeared. Two nurses also entered the room and rushed over to Brody’s bed. Clearly having overheard the exchange.
The doctor chimed in, “Your daughter is right. I know this is difficult, but it is very important you all try to stay as calm as possible around him. He can pick up on your emotions and we don’t want his heart rate to become any more elevated than it already is. It’s time we move him to intensive care. His room is ready now. The nurses are going to bring him upstairs. Please come with me. I will fill you in on his condition while the nurses take him to his new room.”
Plan Bea Page 12
