by GA Hauser
“Don’t worry. It’s not unusual. You just let me handle it for you.”
“Could you do the same for Carl Bronson?”
“He’s the star you’re living with, right?”
“Yes.”
“Let me tell you first off, living together was a mistake.”
Crushed by the comment, Keith reached for Carl’s hand.
“But, saying that, meeting in secret and going to each others’ homes isn’t much better.”
“What do you suggest?”
“Women. Plain and simple, Keith. You and Carl have got to be seen in public with women.”
“Do you arrange that?”
“I do. That’s what you pay me for.”
“Okay. Tell me what to do.” Keith met Carl’s eyes as they riveted to his.
“I’ll set you both up with some girlfriends. We have our own photographers planted with the paparazzi to sell their photos to the tabloids. We get you two shot with the women and start spreading the gossip that you’re both involved. Any award ceremony, they show up. You got it?”
“Got it.” Keith felt so sick to his stomach he was in pain.
“And you two, don’t even think about holding hands or kissing in public. That’s a very big no-no.”
“Okay.” Keith wondered if Carl could hear him. The voice over the line was very loud.
“No gay affiliation.”
“What does that mean?” Keith began taking offense.
“Don’t hang out in public with other known gay men. No gay bars, no gay film festivals—”
“Hang on a minute…” Keith released Carl’s hand so he could clench his fist. “Let’s not forget the characters we play are gay and we support freedom of choice.”
Dead silence fell on the other line.
“Mr. Palmer?” Keith wondered if he hung up.
“You want to remain in the closet? Is that the idea?”
Keith turned to face Carl as Carl caressed the nape of his neck affectionately.
“Yes, but—”
“Keith, listen to me.” The man inhaled a deep breath. “You and Carl Bronson have got to wash your hands of that idea. You got it? You go to ballgames, car races, be seen watching beauty pageants, and no…I repeat, no gay affiliations. Is that clear?”
“That sucks!” Keith didn’t want to become some silent partner in gay pride.
“That’s reality. Do you want to come out?”
“I fucking want to! But Adam says that my career would be over.”
“Calm down, Keith.”
Keith took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I swore.”
Carl hugged Keith tight in support.
“It isn’t anything I haven’t heard before. Now, I told you what you have to do to keep the tabloid bastards off your back. The question is, do you want me to do it?”
Dabbing at a threatening tear, Keith grabbed Carl and held on for dear life. “Yes.”
“Okay. I’ll set up the date with the women. It’s got to be soon, Keith. The rags are after you two with a vengeance.”
“I know.”
“This Friday. I’ll call with a time and send a car to pick you both up. It’ll be leaked to the press and the paparazzi. You will be seen with these women. Act like you are attracted to them. For pity’s sake, Keith, you and Carl have got to hold their hands. Act! It’s what you two do best, right?”
Keith wanted to tell Mr. Jeff Palmer what he and Carl really did best, but refrained. “Fine.”
“Good.”
“Where do you get these women from? Are they trustworthy?”
“They work for me. Yes. Don’t worry about that.”
“It’s all so damn sickening.”
“I don’t make the rules, kid.”
“I know. Thanks, Mr. Palmer. I suppose this is what we need to do to survive.”
“Write my number down in case you need me or have any questions.”
Keith whispered to Carl. “Pen and paper?”
Carl jumped up, quickly returning with it.
“Go ahead, Mr. Palmer.” Keith wrote his number down.
“You’ll hear from my office in a couple of days.”
“Okay.” Keith disconnected the call and tossed the phone on the table. He gave Carl a pained look. “This sucks.”
“I heard most of it. The guy talks very loudly.”
“Then you should be feeling as sick as I do right now.”
“Keith,” Carl held both Keith’s hands, “I know you would you rather we came out as a couple. Okay? I know.”
“We can’t. I understand that. If we do, this series will be our last. Carl, I’m only twenty-six. I can’t stop acting after this one hit show.”
“Then we have to pretend, Keith. There’s no other choice.”
Covering his face with his hands as the anger filled him, Keith felt Carl’s warm cuddle. “That means your fantasy of a three-way with a go-go boy is out.”
“Just shoot me.”
“At least he didn’t order us to move apart.”
Lowering his hands, Keith met Carl’s loving green eyes. “No. We at least have that.”
“That’s a lot.”
“It is.” Keith kissed him.
“Let’s finish working. I feel like I almost have the lines memorized.”
“Oh, Carl,” Keith groaned, wrapping his arms around Carl’s neck.
“It’s okay, babe. Whatever we need to do, we’ll do it.”
Closing his eyes, Keith inhaled Carl’s wonderful scent and sighed.
Chapter 6
A phone call alerted them that the car was downstairs. Carl hung up and buttoned his suit jacket. “You ready for this charade?”
“Fuck no. I can’t stand the idea of wasting an evening with two mannequins when I’d rather be here butt-fucking you.”
“It’s only a few hours. Come on.” Carl opened the front door and locked it behind them. Taking the elevator down, they immediately noticed a group of photographers out front of their condo complex. Carl inhaled deeply for courage and pushed open the door.
The cameras flashed and shouting began instantly. Tuning it out, Carl made for the black limousine and the chauffeur holding open the door.
They climbed into the back seat and closed out the horrible noise and flashing lights.
In silence they drove to another location. More photographers were waiting. Two pencil thin women in short dresses made their way to their car. Carl rubbed his hands together nervously.
The door was opened and they climbed into the back seat with Carl and Keith.
“Hey,” the blonde greeted them. “I’m Holly Lacey, and this is Jade Winslow.”
“Hi.” Carl waved awkwardly.
“Who’s with whom?” Keith smirked.
“They wanted me to be with Carl.” Holly pointed to him.
“How quaint,” Keith sneered, “two matching sets of blonds paired with brunettes.”
“You two don’t mind doing this?” Carl asked.
“It’s our job,” Jade whispered.
“Man, you two are cute!” Holly giggled. “Better in person.”
“Thanks.” Carl couldn’t imagine this getting any more awkward or embarrassing.
“What do you two do when you’re not pretending to be someone’s girlfriends?” Keith obviously couldn’t wipe the sour expression off his face.
“Model. We both model.” Holly pulled her short dress down her thighs.
The car parked in front of the most conspicuous restaurant in Beverly Hills. This was where you go to be seen by everyone who is anyone. Spago’s.
Obviously Mr. Palmer had done his job because the amount of paparazzi waiting out front was frightening. The chauffeur opened the back door and Carl climbed out, reaching his hand for Holly, who took it and exited the car gracefully. Behind him Keith escorted Jade.
The cameras clicked and hummed, people shouted their names, and Carl felt nauseated by the charade. That’s life in the fast lane. Somewhere deep in his
heart he felt like he was betraying not only himself and Keith but all his gay fans.
Picturing the supportive men at the club where they had filmed, guilt crept into Carl’s mid-section. What a kick in the teeth this would be for them. Or would they understand it meant survival for them in the acting business? Carl had no idea.
They were fawned over, their names shouted out so loudly Carl wanted to crawl under a table and hide. It was the worst case of bad performing he’d seen in his life. Who exactly were they fooling with this pantomime?
Waiting politely as the women sat down, Carl and Keith ended up across from each other, and instantly the urge to play with Keith under the table made Carl crazy.
“Thank you,” Carl replied as he took a menu.
“Anything to drink?” the waiter asked.
“Wine?” Carl needed a shot of bourbon but knew this was a “play act” for the public and he needed to look content.
They all agreed and he ordered a bottle of red.
Everyone in the vicinity was staring and whispering. Carl imagined them quibbling, “Aren’t they gay? What on earth are they doing with women?”
The waiter presented an obscenely expensive bottle of Chianti. Carl was so nervous he had no idea if he could eat. Their glasses were filled and they were left to scan the menu. Holly leaned over to bat her lashes at Carl. In the midst of this madness Carl was expected to act straight. It was almost more than he was willing to bear. In reality, all he wanted to do was share a quiet dinner with Keith, flirt, sexually tease each other to death, and go home and hump ‘til they dropped.
As Holly whispered seductively, reaching out to hold his hand, Carl wondered why he didn’t feel any attraction for her at all. He had dated women. He’d even screwed them. The realization that ever since he had tasted male flesh he was hooked was something Carl had not considered. But it was fact. Though Holly and her equally anorexic friend, Jade, were pretty models, they did nothing to stir the excitement in his crotch. Absolutely nothing.
~
Keith was grinding his jaw, borderline enraged. This travesty, this imitation of being heterosexual for the media was gnawing at his nerves. Jade wasn’t even the type of woman he would have been attracted to pre-Carl. She was obviously shallow and self-absorbed. Most likely she’d never even allowed a slice of pizza into her mouth, let alone a man’s cock. The thought of being paired up with her was slightly repulsive. Why? If Keith had met her while he was in college, wouldn’t he have been thrilled to kiss her? Imagined screwing her?
Not now. Keith had a sample of what gay love was like. Felt the carnal craving that only men have for sex. Constant humping, thrusting, get me into a hole sex. How could anything compare to the intensity he and Carl shared in the bedroom? It was ludicrous to even imagine it. Having this brunette pucker her lips and play kissy-kissy with him made his cock deflate to the point of feeling impotent. He knew no matter what this woman did to him, she could never get a rise out of him.
As Jade touched him, tried to pretend and give the performance she was paid to do, Keith stared at Carl as he gazed back at him. It was murder. “Carl…” Keith hissed quietly.
Carl’s eyes filled with tears. He twisted away to avoid looking at Keith.
“What will you have, honey?” Jade leaned on Keith’s shoulder.
“What do you recommend?” Keith knew if he and Carl kept staring at each other, they would end up crying.
Jade pointed to a few meaningless suggestions. Keith wanted a hamburger or a pepperoni pizza. He didn’t have the pallet for this extravagance. And who the hell was paying for it? Adam Lewis? Mr. Jeff Palmer? He sure as hell couldn’t afford it. Obviously his paycheck would have some numbers skimmed off the top before it trickled its way into his bank account.
The waiter finally made his way over. Keith just wanted to get this absurd dinner over with. Waiting as their dates requested rabbit food, Keith ordered the halibut simply because it was the only item of food he noticed when he glanced at the selection.
Carl ordered the same and Keith knew he’d never even looked at the menu.
As their dates cuddled them, giggled, and kissed their cheeks, Keith caught Carl’s gaze again. Silently, Keith mouthed, “I can’t do this, Carl.”
Carl dabbed at his eyes and whispered, “I have to go to the men’s room. Will you excuse me?”
As Keith watched him go, he felt sick he couldn’t run after him. Everyone was witnessing this performance. It had to be worth the time and expense. They had to play the dirty little game.
~
Carl pushed through the door and checked the room. One man was standing at the sink. Avoiding him, Carl entered a stall and leaned back against the door. The urge to sob was overwhelming. He couldn’t do this. Biting back his anguish, Carl fought with himself to straighten up. He couldn’t fall apart on their first public appearance with their “girlfriends”. Even though he knew Keith did not want it, Carl hated seeing Jade touch him. Carl wanted to touch him. He wanted to be the one to smooth his hand across Keith’s back, lean against his shoulder to whisper and flirt.
It had only been a few minutes and Carl was already spent. This farce was wearing heavily on him. There had to be another way.
“Carl?”
Hearing Keith’s soft voice, Carl faltered, “Go away.”
“I can’t.”
“You’ll make the whole charade meaningless.” Carl struggled with his emotions. “Go back to the table.”
“Are you okay?”
“I will be. Give me a second.”
The door rattled. “Carl, open this up.”
Terrified someone would hear their conversation, Carl opened the door to the stall and looked around. The room was vacant at the moment. “Keith, please go back and sit down.”
“Carl…” Keith caressed his hair affectionately. “You’re upset. I can’t stand seeing you this way.”
“I’m worse with your attention. Please. Go back and I’ll just suck down the wine until I’m numb. Okay?”
Punching his fist against the metal stall frame, Keith snarled, “This bites!”
“Go!”
As if he were heading to his execution, Keith dragged his feet out of the bathroom.
Inhaling to gain some control, Carl moved to the sink and looked at his face. “This is not going to work. It’s killing us.”
~
“Everything okay?” Jade whispered, wrapping her arm around Keith’s back after he sat down again.
“What do you think?” he scoffed.
“Hang in there.” She hugged him and instantly returned to her adoring act.
The minute Carl returned, Keith watched him like a hawk. Carl looked ill.
“Welcome back, honey.” Holly threw Carl kisses.
A weak smile was her reply.
The meal was placed in front of them. Keith had to force it down. The women fell into a conversation, barely eating a leaf of lettuce.
Both he and Carl had finished the wine and Keith craved more. But the price of a bottle of alcohol was nearing on insanity.
Christ, will this date ever end?
Keith threw his napkin on the table, lapped at the last drop of wine from his glass, and waved at the waiter. “Check please?”
“It has been taken care of, sir.”
“Oh.” Keith glanced at Carl. He met his eyes briefly but didn’t reply.
Carl threw some cash down for a tip and made a move to end this horrible fiasco.
Hooked arm in arm with their dates, Keith followed Carl outside. The moment they hit the fresh evening air, the paparazzi went nuts, taking pictures. The women used the opportunity to pose for the occasion. Carl’s forced smile looked more like a grimace to Keith. Jade kissed his cheek long enough to get it on film, as did Holly to a pouting Carl.
The women waved at the cameras with pasted smiles on their lips.
Carl and Keith stood by as the women climbed into the back seat, joining them. The door was closed and the car moved o
n.
Jade held Keith’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Keith looked back at the driver, but assumed he was under the employ of Jeff Palmer as well.
“It’s not fair to you guys.” Holly cuddled against Carl gently.
Keith inspected his lover. Carl appeared devastated. He wasn’t saying anything.
They pulled in front of the girls’ high-rise building. When the door opened they gave the men’s cheeks a long smooch and made sure the waiting paparazzi cameras caught it. Waving, throwing kisses, they made their way inside their condominium.
The door closed and the car moved on.
Needing to erase this horrible night, Keith leaned over the front seat. “Go to Santa Monica Boulevard.”
