by GA Hauser
“Nice.” Carl held onto Keith’s shoulders.
“I love the way that feels.” Moving his palm over them, Keith glided up their stiff shafts happily. He arranged them to stand upright, getting a better grip.
“You going to jack us off?”
“Got a better idea?” Keith began panting as his hands moved faster.
As if Carl had just felt a zing of pleasure, he gulped, “No,” then wrapped his fingers around Keith’s.
With the two of them jerking up and down, Keith felt his balls tighten up. “Are you close?”
“Yes.”
Carl’s muscles hardened in his arms as they quickened the pace and slipped over the heads and down to the bases like a machine.
“I’m there…” Keith choked out the words as the rush began in his testicles.
“Oh, yes…” Carl opened his lips and closed his eyes. “Yes!”
A flood of creamy sperm squirted out of each slit, spattering their dripping wet skin and running down their clasped hands.
Before it was all washed away, Keith licked it off his hand, instantly bringing Carl’s mouth to his to share the taste.
Carl’s moan echoed off the wet tiles, making Keith’s heart beat faster. Exchanging the tangy come between them, Keith wrapped tightly around Carl’s waist, crushing him to his body. Why couldn’t Carl marry him? Why couldn’t they gather all their friends and family together to celebrate their love? Why?
~
Carl felt Keith’s anguish even through his passion. No, their situation wasn’t fair. But who ever said life was?
Parting from his kiss, Carl asked, “Are you done?”
“Let me just shampoo my hair.”
After making sure he was soap free, Carl opened the door and grabbed a towel. Stepping out, he dried himself, staring as Keith finished up.
Marry you? I’d sell my soul to marry you. To wear your ring and vow my eternal love for you. But I can’t. The world of Hollywood motion pictures won’t let me.
Carl dabbed at his eye discreetly. After every lovely experience they shared, reality set in and they became maudlin. It sucked. This was supposed to be the best years of his and Keith’s lives. They were young, still in their prime, successful, in love…hello? What else did you need for happiness?
What else?
Freedom.
And the one thing he and Keith did not have was freedom. Carl felt as if he was in a cage and the bars were electrified. Every time he reached out to the air outside the trap he was burned.
The water stopped. Drips from Keith’s wet body to the porcelain tub replaced the sound of the spigot’s rushing noise. The door moved back. Carl feasted his eyes on Keith’s naked, drenched form. Twenty-six, blue-eyed, blond, the prettiest boy he ever did see. Mark excluded.
“Carl?”
Coming around from his daydream, seeing Keith rubbing a towel over his hair, Carl replied, “Yes?”
“Charlotte called while you were in the shower.”
“And?” Carl flipped his wet towel over the glass door.
“She said the show did actually get six Emmy nominations.”
Carl whipped his head around. “Are you kidding?”
“No. Including Best Lead and Supporting Actor in a Drama Series.”
“Us?”
“Us.”
“Not Omar?”
“No. Us.”
Carl whooped in joy and picked Keith up out of the tub, spinning him around in excitement.
“Carl?”
Slowing down his pulse, Carl found Keith’s expression did not reflect his own. He set Keith on his feet and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“She wants us to come to the award ceremony as a couple.”
“We can’t do that.”
“We have to. We promised her and the producers we wouldn’t have more fake dates.”
“No. That can’t mean for the awards. We have to look straight for the awards.”
“Carl,” Keith implored.
In fury, Carl held up his hand. “Stop.” He opened the bathroom door and stormed out.
“Please, Carl. This is about you and me, nothing else. I want to be with you.”
Clenching his fists in agony, Carl cried, “Why does every good thing that happens to us have to be painted with the same brush of injustice? I can’t stand this anymore.”
Keith pressed his naked length against Carl’s back, wrapping his arms around Carl’s waist.
His anger deflating at the loving embrace, Carl overlapped Keith’s arms and held him tight. “I’m sorry, Keith.”
“I know, babe.”
“I want to achieve the goal of a leading man in the movies.”
“I know,” Keith echoed softly.
Loosening Keith’s hold, Carl spun around to face him and felt hot tears running down his cheeks. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
“I understand. Carl, stop.” Keith wiped at Carl’s face.
“I love you. I’m proud of that love.”
“Carl, stop crying. You’ll get me started.”
A sob broke from Carl’s throat. He enfolded Keith in his arms and wept over his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh. It’s okay.”
“No. It isn’t fucking okay.”
Chapter 16
After a fitful night’s sleep, Carl felt rough. He was so fuzzy headed he cut his face shaving. Exiting the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to his chin, he scuffed his way to the kitchen where Keith had poured him a cup of coffee.
“You look like crap.”
“I feel like crap.” Carl dropped to a chair.
“You tossed and turned all night.”
“I’m sorry. I should have slept in the other bedroom.”
“Not on your life.” Keith stood behind him and hugged his neck.
When the phone rang, Carl cringed. “Not this early.”
“Maybe it’s Mom.” Keith checked the display. “Adam?”
“Uh oh. Mark.” Carl flinched as if he were about to get slapped.
“Shit. You answer it.”
“Me?”
“He’ll kill me.”
“Give me the phone.” Carl reached out tiredly. “Hello?”
“Are you insane?” the voice on the other end asked.
“Good morning to you too, Adam.” Carl rolled his eyes at Keith.
“Do you think flaunting your homosexuality is going to get you movie parts, Carl?”
“Flaunting? Who the hell is flaunting?” Carl cupped the phone. “Go pick up the extension, he’s going crazy.”
Keith rushed to the bedroom.
Carl waited to hear Keith get on.
“Yes! Flaunting!”
Keith asked, “Are you talking about Mark?”
“Keith!” Adam roared, “You, Carl, and Mark are on the fucking cover of the Inspirer! Naked and in the same bed!”
“What?” Carl gasped. “Adam, that was from a shoot from the show we did yesterday. How the hell did they get it so quickly?”
“Off the net, Carl!” Adam yelled in fury.
“I knew it.” Carl deflated.
“YouTube?” Keith asked sadly.
“Yes! What were you thinking getting Richfield involved in this?”
“Steve’s okay with it,” Keith said.
“Jack is going berserk!”
“Jack?” Carl replied. “What the heck does this have to do with Mark?”
“Forget that at the moment. What I want to know is, are you two outting yourselves to the public?”
“What did the article say, Adam?” Carl felt his temples pound with a headache.
As sarcastically as he could, Adam said, “Well, gee, boys, let me read you the headline, shall I?”
Carl held his breath.
“It says, ‘Forever Young’s Famous ‘Straight’(and the word straight is in quotes, mind you,) Lovers Invite Gay Mate For a Day of Fun’. Shall I go on?”
Carl rubbed his eyes with his index finger and
thumb creating dots of light under his eyelids.
“Adam…it was a shoot.” Keith’s loud sigh was heard over the line. “Charlotte wanted a threesome and we thought of Mark.”
“Why? Why Mark? What the hell’s wrong with you? Couldn’t Charlotte cast a straight man? For Christ’s sake, where do you want your careers to be after this show ends?”
“Adam, your shouting is giving me a headache,” Carl moaned.
“You want to know what the headache will be, Carl? Me finding either one of you work after the finale. Okay? That’s the fucking headache.”
“Please stop yelling at us, Adam. Carl and I are already miserable.”
After a long silence where Carl could only hear breathing, Adam whispered, “Just come out. Come the fuck out.”
“I can’t,” Carl whined.
“Carl, you have to. You’re completely outted as it is, and denying it like I once advised you will make you both look like the biggest fucking liars in the country.”
“Kiss my film career goodbye?” Carl choked up.
“Take your chances.”
Carl set the phone down and covered his face to cry.
Over the line he heard Keith calling his name. “Carl?” A second later Keith rushed in to comfort him. “Adam, I have to go, Carl’s a mess. Fine. I’ll call you tonight. Bye.”
Keith disconnected both phones.
Curled in a ball over his lap, Carl was in agony. As Keith coaxed him into his arms, Carl wailed like a baby, letting out all his anger and frustration.
“Shh…oh, Carl. Please…stop crying.” Keith hiccupped and began to weep with him. “I love you. I can’t take seeing you like this. We’ll be okay. Please.”
His body racked with sobs as he wept, Carl had lost all strength to keep fighting. Everyone wanted them exposed for what they were.
But what were they? Weren’t they just two people in love?
“Carl,” Keith bawled with him and Carl knew it was Keith seeing him so upset that was making Keith cry.
Struggling to get a hold of himself, Carl swallowed down his hurt pride and kissed Keith’s salty cheek. “Okay, babe. Okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Keith wailed. “I did this. I invited Mark, I suggested the threesome to Charlotte. Hate me, Carl. I’ve ruined your career. Hate me.”
“No. Never.” Carl held Keith’s head in his hands and kissed his teary face. “It’s not you. It’s the powers that be who make the decision that a person’s sexual lifestyle affects his talent. It’s not you, Keith. Please. Never blame yourself.”
“But I’m forcing you out when you don’t want to be.”
“Hush. Stop. We actually have to work today and we’re both a shambles.” Carl dabbed at Keith’s eyes. “And you’re wrong. I want to be out. Are you kidding me? I hate hiding, lying, feeling like a damn convict. What’s our crime, Keith?”
Keith dove on Carl and wrapped around him in a vice grip.
“Shh, okay. We’ll be all right.” Carl knew once Forever Young was through, so were they. It was time to scrimp and save. And they had better make damn sure this series went for a decade.
Chapter 17
Camera flashed. Fans screamed.
The noise and commotion was distracting. Carl’s hand was squeezed tight. He waved at the shrieking men and women and was surprised to see quite a few rainbow banners. Media people with omnipresent microphones snatched the stars for comments and questions.
“Carl Bronson! Carl Bronson!”
Carl noticed a popular television station logo on a black microphone as he was waved over. A loud roar from the spectators exploded from his advance.
“Carl, you must be very excited to be nominated for your first leading television role.”
“I am. It’s very thrilling.”
“Keith?” The man with the microphone urged him closer. “And you, a newcomer to the business. How do you feel?”
After a shy smile, Keith replied, “Exhilarated. It’s like a crazy rollercoaster ride.”
“I notice to two of you holding hands. Are you finally making a statement?”
Carl smiled at Keith. “We are.”
“You are two very brave men. I wish you luck.”
“Thank you.” Carl waved at the screaming fans, tightening his grip on Keith’s hand. He paused as several photographers took their picture. Carl felt his stomach fluttering like a camera shutter, but pretended he was confident.
“You okay?” Keith asked softly.
“Yes. I want to be here with you. Like this.”
“I love you.”
Carl gave his lover an endearing smile.
They were shown to a table in the grand Governor’s Ballroom. It was like a who’s who of A-list Hollywood celebrities. Carl felt odd to be among them.
As they passed, several big named male movie stars winked in approval. Carl felt slightly bitter that he and Keith were making a stand while so many others were deathly afraid. But he understood. He sympathized with their plight.
Finding the cast, producers, writers, and of course, Charlotte and her husband already there, Carl released Keith’s hand to hug her and their co-stars Cheryl Jones and Betty Blue who were also nominated.
“Well done, boys.” Derek Dixon was seated with his beautiful wife while Will Markham was accompanied by his handsome partner, Madison Henning. Carl smiled in pride to see Will not behaving like a hypocrite. “Thank you, Mr. Dixon.”
“How’s it feel?” Will asked eagerly.
“Scary as hell.”
“You won’t feel that way with that hot little trophy in your hands.”
“If we win,” Keith mentioned softly.
“You will.” Will and Derek winked at them as if they knew something that Carl and Keith didn’t.
“Are you coming to the ceremony after?” Keith asked the group.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Charlotte kissed Keith’s cheek, leaving a lipstick mark which she rubbed off with her thumb.
~
The evening felt very long and tiring as all the small awards for art direction and production went first. Keith stifled a yawn, hoping he wasn’t being filmed for the television audience at that moment.
Finally the announcements were made for their categories. Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series came first. Keith sat up in his seat as clips were played on a big screen of each candidate.
“Good luck, babe.” Carl held Keith’s hand.
Suddenly Carl was screaming and Charlotte was jumping up and down.
“Did I win?”
“Yes! Go get your award!” Carl laughed.
“Really? They said my name?”
Charlotte stood, grabbed Keith’s hand, and got him to his feet, pushing on his bottom to move him in the right direction. The audience went wild with hilarity at her actions.
A buzz from the noise in his ears making him dizzy, Keith made it to the stairs and stage, but couldn’t think. He was on autopilot. His tuxedo-clad image was being broadcast on large screens all over the stage. The famous male star holding his trophy grinned knowingly at him. Keith felt as if he was suddenly accepted into a secret club and all the closeted gay men in Hollywood were looking at him with admiration and envy at being out.
“Thank you,” Keith said as he took the statue. He was left alone at a podium. Instantly, all he could see was Carl. He held it up to him. “For you, babe. For you. I couldn’t have done it without you. Oh, and Charlotte.” Keith laughed at himself. Holding the statue up high, he waved, “Thank you.”
Having no idea what else to say, he walked away from the microphone and was escorted back to his seat. Once he plopped down in his chair and set the idol on the table, he opened his mouth to Carl in a gape and said, “I can’t believe it.”
“I can.” Carl grabbed Keith’s hand and rubbed it in his.
Everyone around him reached to congratulate him.
Only a moment later the Lead Actor in a Drama Series was being announced.
Keith
stared at Carl as they said his name and showed a clip of the show. Keith wanted Carl to win so badly he would die if Carl didn’t.
Yet another top sexy Hollywood leading man stood with the envelope. To Keith’s amazement, before the man opened the flap he looked directly at Carl. Keith knew right at that moment Carl had won.
“And the winner is…Carl Bronson from Forever Young.”
“Carl!” Keith shouted in excitement.
“Come with me.” Carl yanked Keith’s arm.
“What?” Keith choked in shock. Looking back at his producers and his director, he found them waving him on.
